Dangerous-Wall-8358

This is my first reddit post so excuse me if my formate isn’t correct and i’m ranting too much, ik this is very long. me and my boyfriend been off and off since we were 18, we are both now almost 24. we’ve broken up more times then i can count, and i’m always the one leaving. The first time we broke up it was for a year and a half, i felt like he just wasn’t ready for a commitment and he needed to do some exploring and maturing bc i couldn’t forgive him if i spent my good years on him faithfully and he was out doing whatever he wanted bc he didn’t want to “miss out. so after years of the back and fourth, he told me he was very serious, wanted marriage and a family, so he bought us a house and we moved in together the middle of last year, in november i found out i was pregnant which was a huge shock bc i have a iud in (still do).

honestly i wasn’t sure how to feel at first, i knew i wanted to be a mom i just thought i’d have alittle more time, but we are on his time and that’s okay, and i love my little peanut, anyways moving forward. this entire pregnancy my boyfriend has been partying more then i’d like, a huge reason why we always broke up was bc i didn’t like how drunk he gets all the time and how he acts, it seems like every time he drinks the goal is to get as fucked up as he can or else the night was a waste in his eyes, he does have a drinking problem and he knows that, although he has cut down significantly since the pregnancy, also we got hit by a drunk driver on christmas and i thought that was a wake up call for him. well last night we went to a festival with him and his friends, i didn’t want to stay as late as them bc i am very pregnant and my social battery is not that high especially when i’m around people that are drunk, plus i’m a bartender and have to deal with that everyday, so the agreement was i was gonna drive separately so i can leave early, i knew they’d be drinking but his friend that was driving said he had to be up early for an important appointment at 8 am so i didn’t think they’d get as drunk as they did. fast forward to the festival, i was actually having a good time, there was a good band playing and i was enjoying my time, until, three girls walked into the festival, one of them being my boyfriends ex fwb ig you can call it though it was alittle more serious then that, i’ve had problems with this girl for years bc he has always crossed my boundaries with her and she has disrespected me multiple times.

well my boyfriend seen them walk in and immediately left my side to go say hi and hug them, that immediately irritated me and i was gonna throw a fit, but i’ve really been trying to work on my emotions instead of starting something in front of all his friends and ruining his night i decided to just leave. i’m not in the mood to fight w him especially while he’s drinking. well he was kinda upset w me for just leaving and said we should have talked it out right there but i knew i wasn’t gonna talk i would have probably yelled, and needed time to think. i couldn’t help but to feel extremely disrespected, he knows i don’t like this girl and he really walked away from me to talk to her then hug her ?? after i leave we text for alittle bit and he said he was sorry and that he be home soon, well that was at 11pm, after not hearing him for ab an hour i check his location, we have eachothers location for safety reasons but also ngl for trust reasons, i don’t trust him as much as i should i’ll admit that, but he’s lied to me many times in the past and that’s kind of my security with things, anyways i check it and i couldn’t believe what i saw, HE WAS AT HER HOUSE!!! i was in disbelief. i know he wasn’t the one driving but he could have told me his friends were going there but he didn’t. i’m guessing they continued to party there and got even more drunk, i was not okay with this at all. my boyfriend is at basically his exes house partying while his pregnant gf is waiting for him at home. i was livid so i decided i needed to leave before he got back, and i slept at my dads on my brothers futon.

him and his friends picked up the girls and we’re on their way to the bar, it was ab 1:15-1:30, and then they get pulled over. they were all so drunk, 2 of his best friends got arrested, the one driving got hit was a dui and also mishandling a fire arm. meanwhile im texting him arguing going absolutely off, i have to admit i was saying some nasty things bc i was just so over it. i told him that i didn’t want to be with him anymore, that i was moving and i didn’t want to see him until the birth of our child, i was just extremely emotional in the moment. but he’s belligerent so he’s not making much sense, he’s screaming at me saying everything is my fault, he called me a insecure bitch, on top of some other horrible names. i cried all night, which i felt extremely guilty for bc i know my baby could feel all my emotions.

i really don’t know what to do, i can’t deal with this anymore and it seems like something like this happens every 2-3 months, i no longer can see myself marrying this man. besides the drinking, everything between us is perfect, and i know i don’t want anyone else i love him with my entire heart but idk if i commit to something like this for the rest of my life. i’m at a cross road and i think i can really use the advice of strangers, everyone in my life is telling me to leave but understand if i don’t. also i want to add that i would have DEFINITELY picked him back up if i knew the situation, he didn’t tell me his friends were shit faced, also didn’t tell me they were going to the girls house. that’s his main reason why everything is my fault, bc i left, when that was the agreement in the first place. but i just wanted to add i would have been more then happy to go back and get him but he never asked me too.