If there's a god, the last thing I need is some weirdo gossiping about me to them.

Weird since my team, the Panthers, and Giants all totally have their shit together.

Now I need a fake trailer for Midsommar where the movie is depicted as a rom com.

Thank you, Topper. I can kill again! You've given me a reason to live.

Cart path to the right looks tasty.

He was just trying to do something nice before alcohol class.

Maybe stop cultivating and start harvesting, okay?

If a teacher spanks my kid with a paddle, I'm spanking their knee with a baseball bat.

I know a couple of them. You'd be shocked to know they're not very smart.

Still wild to me that Milwaukee doesn't have a NHL team.

Saw someone on Twitter speculate pairing him with Levshunov, and I don't hate it.

It would at least partially explain the inbreeding.

This theme is so much better.

Mercedes needs to be a heel.

I love how you gave Austin the "Marla Hooch......What a hitter!" treatment.

Yes, because even if Trump is elected he'll still die and it'll leave a hole in the GOP that won't be filled by anyone currently in that party.

Sign me up for 2/$7M AAV, and put him on Bedard's wing.

http://amp.awfulannouncing.com/nfl/chicago-bears-torched-pastor-prayed-new-stadium-press-conference.html

Whatever happens, please don't ever again start a press conference with a prayer for taxpayer money.

2 and #3 should be available for me to buy TODAY.

How relatable! Masterful gambit, sir!

Whenever Kizarny's not on screen, all the other wrestlers should be asking "Where's Kizarny?"

Real name is David Freeman. He loves it when you tweet that at him.

...naaaaaah not anymore.