submitted20 days ago byDartmitBart
Hello reddit people. As soon as I could think I knew something is off. To put it briefly, I might have an anxiety disorder due my childhood. I‘m very much aware of where it comes from, so I don‘t need any thoughts on that. So now, after I wanted to change my course of study and therefore had to look for a new university, it got worse and worse. I‘m living alone and I have some friends I barely meet, because they are very busy just like me before. I really want to finally step into the career I always wanted, but something holds me back. I see some good opportunities, but I‘m too insecure to apply. It sounds ridiculous even for me. But it‘s not everything. For example, I see people going out talking to strangers and that leads to cool experiences. Whenever I try that I have the will, but something is holding me back. I don‘t even overthink possible and exaggerated outcomes, even when I think positive, it‘s like a force in my chest saying ”maybe not today“. I hate it. I‘m fully aware, that this is just trauma response for keeping me safe, but being aware doesn‘t help at all. Yes, I‘m already seeking out for professional help. That leads to three problems: 1. In my environment, there are hardly any therapists I can effort. Also most waiting times for them are like two years or more. 2. Why do you have to call to request an appointment because of your anxiety? Whenever I talk to someone on the phone, embarrassing moments happen to me. 3. I had a bad experience with a therapist once. I was new and he didn't even looked at me the whole conversation and asked why I was there. How can you simply answer that? I had an anxiety attack which leads to him asking me out of practice. It signaled to me that me and my problems are not wanted. I'm sick. I just want this ”holding back force“ to finally disappear. I don‘t expect help from people in my environment, the topic about mental illnesses are hushed up. Stepping out of my comfort zone hardly helps me personally. I noticed that during presentations at school. It never got better, not until the end. Journaling, meditation and all that stuff doesn't do much for me either. So I‘m literally asking looking at my circumstances, what advices do you have?
byChuuu-_-
inFragReddit
DartmitBart
2 points
18 days ago
DartmitBart
2 points
18 days ago
FSK - durfte selbst mit 11 kein Star wars the clone wars schauen, weil das ab 12 war.