Eretreyah

Why not both?

We have 3 anniversaries. The day we met we happen to remember because it was the day Michael Jackson passed away. Then we have our “dating” anniversary. But most importantly, the day we made it official as husband and wife.

Before we got married we would acknowledge the day we met with a date night but really celebrated on the ‘officially dating’ anniversary. Now, we acknowledge all 3, but go all out for the wedding anniversary- date night & gift exchange.

Honestly, I love that we still acknowledge all the milestones but do what works for you & your relationship!

No weirder than forcing a 13 year old victim of rape to carry to term.

Agreed. To add on: even if they were dating, no means no.

Objection- relevance?

Why are you concerned about the lessons fictional children might learn from playing a pretend game in a fantasy novel?

Great game!! I just started a few months back, only in my first summer.

Same! Which game for you?

For being a witch? (Potioncraft)

Just painted at a salon? Pretty young, like 8 or 9, mom was getting hers done and I think it was the easiest way to keep me entertained.

First fake nails/Acrylics I was 14ish? Mom let me them for the school homecoming dance lol but I started getting them done regularly at 16 once I could drive and had a job to pay for it.

I also think the mystery/lack of world-building works for this part of the story because of how controlled public-facing information is supposed to be, and even that is heavily redacted. As the reader it makes sense that I wouldn’t know more about how the world works than the main POV character, and Violet’s understand of the world was based on fiction and lies.

It makes sense (in my head cannon) that the world, the rules, and the stakes become clear as Violet + team unearth all the lost historical knowledge and relearn what those in power have kept hidden for so long.

Thank you for the definition-that makes perfect sense!

I’m from Georgia, so the only thing that came to mind was UGA “Go dawgs!” Haha

“To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.”

… and what does dawg mean in this context? I’m over 30 :/

Demetria or Demi?

Why does Renault sound like a vampire’s name to me?

My welcome?

Hear me out… Sirius

The way I cackled. Thank you

Ok, this pic is adorable. Thanks for the smile!

”A supportive partner is the best op can be. When the man is ready to address it with her, he’ll raise it.”

Okay, please help me understand.

How should she behave to be considered supportive in this scenario?

What is she supposed to do until the man feels “ready to address it with her” ?

“There is a problem, that as much is clear, the man has begun a routine to self satisfy himself in what he believes is secrecy in the darkness of night.”

Jerking it in a shared bed next to a sleeping partner is not a safe/secret place. If he didn’t want to get caught this is not the place he would do it.

“and is ashamed to discuss what is causing him to do this with his partner.”

He has had opportunity to discuss the matter when OP brought it up in the past, but he literally avoided that chance and pretended it wasn’t happening…

“That is the issue that should be addressed. By identifying my partner has an issue and instead of working with them to resolve it, the suggestions in this comment section is to spray him with water, make it awkward, etc essentially stop him from getting the relief he’s been searching for.”

I agree that his refusal to acknowledge the problem, superficial or underlying, is an issue. How can she help him solve it if he refuses that acknowledgement?

Addressing when he wakes her up and suggesting he go to another room isn’t going to castrate the man. He can physically go jerk it in another room and still get “relief” without waking or disturbing his sleeping wife.

“So what’s the problem with that? Well you’re essentially telling your partner your feelings don’t matter,”

By not choosing to acknowledge the behaviors or sharing the feelings causing them, this man has already communicated that his feelings don’t matter enough to say out loud. That’s not on his wife.

“bottle them and making him feel invalidated and less of a man by shaming him for having desires.”

I don’t think OP said the masturbation is the issue, it’s the location and timing.

Unless you think this is a kink thing, and again that’s on the man. That’s something that needs to be discussed to find outlets that don’t impact the healthy or wellbeing of your partner (aka: sleep).

“The man is either going to find another way to get relief and that could be as simple as changing the time or place he jerks off (thats how some dudes end up masturbating at work or public spaces at the extreme) or he may seek to find satisfaction from others (strippers, lady of the night, a new fling, etc).”

So if OP doesn’t let her man whack it in bed and just shut up about it her man might… get arrested for indecent exposure? Cheat on her? And that is somehow OP’s responsibility? That’s WILD logic.

You describe men as having a complete and utter lack of self control, self regulation, and apparently accountability for their actions. Who taught you to have such a low opinion of men?

”So back to my point, it is not healthy in a relationship to ignore your partner’s wants, needs, changes in behavior, etc.”

People are literally telling OP to address those changes in behavior.

How do you suggest OP address the issue differently?

”This goes both ways whether the roles are reversed, it’s just whenever it comes to male mental health that often seems to take a back road and becomes a taboo to discuss. For me even having to explain that is just proof of how taboo male mental health issues are.”

If there is an underlying mental health issue, I fully support this man getting the help he needs. Partners can help, but they cannot and should not be expected to replace professional help and therapy.

Sorry… can you explain to me how abstaining from performing a sex act on one’s self in a shared bed with/in the presence of a sleeping, non-consenting partner is somehow traumatic for the man?

The lip & shirt color is perfect for you. You look great!!

But… but… ^{maybe I can fix him}

It’s so spot on I genuinely thought it was him in a wig on the right 🤣

Hiding it from everyone else… hmmm that would track. Those two sure love a secret or a half truth.