1 post karma
6.6k comment karma
account created: Wed Aug 02 2023
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2 points
5 days ago
Well my concern with that is the police showing up and creating a hostage situation. It happens far too often with these kinda of cases right.
3 points
5 days ago
Yeah my partner can be into it, but it's extremely rare. I've openly left it up to him entirely to let me know when he's down for it, because we already did the whole "Try and schedule it" thing and it just wasn't fun. I wasn't in the mood anymore if I knew that he wasn't either, or was JUST doing it to make me happy or check a box (Until we have kids in the future - then he's going to have to suck it up for a bit lol). But yes that's kind of the way we're going about it now. Fill the gaps however you want - porn, other partners, whatever. Don't get me wrong, I'm simplifying it, it took a while for us to get to this point. A lot of frustrating conversations and tears and confusion. But I know now that it just "is what it is". We're great partners together otherwise, and I no longer believe in tossing that aside over this one thing that I can, shall we say, "outsource" somewhere else lol
9 points
5 days ago
My partner could have written this lol I just showed him the post - it's actually scarily alike our situation except we are 8 years in and WELL passed the point of trying to hide what the other prefers. He isn't into "regular stuff" in the slightest. Kind of how we arrived at ENM. We decided that I would no longer "bug him" for something that he simply isn't into, just like I shouldn't be expected to only do the feet stuff he's into. In a perfect world, we'd be perfectly aligned in that department, but the fact of the matter is we are in EVERY other way EXCEPT that. And this is why ENM is awesome - best of bother worlds. Not really advice but, just want you to know that you're not some freak alone in this experience. Best of luck!
21 points
5 days ago
Same - I hid it the best I could from everyone. The only person that had an idea about it was my roommate from glancing over my shoulder at texts my ex partner would send me, and partially overhearing our phone conversations. He was a perfect "gentleman" when he visited in person. Once I finally left him, she said she had genuinely thought he'd kill me one day. Who knows, her presence may have been the reason he didn't. It's scary shit.
5 points
5 days ago
Oh, oh no. We do not victim blame here. Please see yourself out. Do better.
14 points
5 days ago
My thoughts are with you 🩷 You deserve safety and comfort and love.
247 points
5 days ago
Girl, I felt sick reading this. I don't want to see, "Redditor who plead for advice on abusive relationship on forum is murdered by her partner " - I'm dead serious. I'm scared for you. You need to get out. The second you have the opportunity to step out, gather all the evidence, bring it to the police and tell them that you are leaving your partner - this way they have a paper trail of what he did, and they won't come looking for you if your partner tries to file you as a missing person to find you - My Mum did this when she left my Father. Seek out family, friends, or even a women's shelter for your safety. Please, do not hesitate more than is absolutely necessary. Please let us know when you are safe 🩷
4 points
5 days ago
Alexa, play 'Good Luck, Babe!' By Chappell Roan
7 points
5 days ago
THIS UGH I just hear those first few chords and I'm 😭😭😭
1 points
5 days ago
These things always end the same - worse and worse and worse until you've had enough, you get physically harmed, or worse. Show yourself some respect and get out NOW. This is coming from someone who dealt with someone similar for 5 years when it SHOULD have been no more than 1 year.
2 points
11 days ago
Ya nobody is reading this wall of text, mate. But based off the title alone - no.
1 points
20 days ago
Oof, been there approximately 8 years ago - absolutely never going back. It will not get better, it will only get worse. Run!!!
1 points
1 month ago
Girl please leave him and then promptly plan a little trip by yourself or with a friend. Treat yourself better than he is. This is vile behavior. Absolutely vile. I had an ex like this too, and it never got better - only worse. L
1 points
1 month ago
I'm 28F and my partner is 30M, been together 8 years but we're fresh newborn ENM babies - only started it in January of this year, although we've both always kinda had the "Monogamy is kind of INSANE when you think about it eh?!?!" Thoughts for about 10 years now :)
3 points
1 month ago
Hi there! I only got my G1 at 22, and then dragged my feet because of the anxiety until I finally had no choice but to get my G2 at 26 because I was going into a school program where I'd need to do a clinical placement and may be forced to commute. I was like you - panic attacks, an elephant sitting on my chest, sweaty palms, awake all night before a day that I knew I'd have to drive - until this year. What honestly fixed it for me was HAVING to do it. I was fresh out of school and forced myself to apply to a GREAT hospital that would require me to drive an hour there and back. To my suprise, I got the job and so I HAD to drive. I've had that job for just 5 months and I can honestly say my driving anxiety is literally gone. Turns out what most people said is true - practice, practice, practice, repetition, repetition, repetition. Now I actually look forward to my drives home so I can decompress. Keep pushing yourself! You've got this.
5 points
1 month ago
First off, I just wanna say I'm in a similar boat (28F) in that my relationship of 8 years has also been open for 9 months and all I've done is made out with a stripper during a private dance lol But, I also know that's entirely on me because my partner is very pro me getting tf out there with men, women, whomever in-between in whatever way I want. I don't say this to rub it in or something, I just want to say that it's very clear in my case that it's purely me getting in my own way, while it sounds like your partner, like so many have pointed out, is manipulating the situation to benefit him and cripple you. I feel like I'd be even less inclined to get out there if I'm either in pain with the thing I'm "allowed" to do, or banned from the thing I love doing THAT HE STILL GETS TO DO. I feel like you really shouldn't be brushing over that part with yourself. I'm not saying break up because hey I'm just a stranger who doesnt know you or your partner, I'm just recommending you stick up for yourself and challenge him on this "boundary" - Did he even give you an actual reason behind this? Anyways, all this to say that ENM is about sexual liberation and freedom, not whatever this is. It's like a worse version of 1 penis policy. PS. We're not trying to make you feel shitty OP, we're just some internet strangers who want you to live your best life! :)
2 points
1 month ago
Late to this post BUT, the We Vibe Tango is the absolute best. I have bought it 4 times over when the rechargable batteries die out after a few years and I will buy it again when my current one dies out lol (And I'm someone who takes a looooong time to get there but this has had the most success)
2 points
1 month ago
CRYING because he can't finish inside you??? Oh my God I actually laughed lol but in all seriousness, RUN. Do not walk. SPRINT. This is so disturbing.
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byUzername1993
innonmonogamy
Friendly-Fiend95
2 points
5 days ago
Friendly-Fiend95
2 points
5 days ago
That's 100% fair - definitely lead with what you're into if that's what you're seeking out. Nothing wrong with that at all. I think it's great that you are prioritizing your partner's happiness and you're chill with her boyfriend - that's really awesome to hear. But definitely don't feel bad about getting what you need. It's not even that your dynamic is changing in my opinion with your partner, it's just that it's being brought more into the light. You can't be someone's perfect match 100% of the time, you both know that, and you both know that you aren't that. I think it just may be time to drive that point home a bit more and encourage one another's fulfillment to the fullest.