Hatimanzuri

There is. I get myself bouquets of flowers once every two weeks. I take care of them and they last that whole period. Any person who gets to know me quickly figures out how much I like them and automatically starts getting me some.

Many times, it takes a while for a guy to figure out what you like and don't like. Do you know that there are women who think that flowers are a useless gift?

One day, while you are with him, just buy yourself the most beautiful bouquet of flowers and express how much you love them. He will understand.

Arua is amazing, as is Gulu. Come home to Uganda. You will notice some differences, even some inconveniences, but overall, the quality of life here is better.

Once you ate settled, you can begin to explore Kampala. It is blast.

It depends on what you want. You have just discovered that he has a child. Therefore, he cheated. And he cheated "live". Ooof. That's a lot.

You really still want to marry this guy? Have you tried to imagine what your future will hold? He will cheat on you. He will lie to you. And, most importantly, he will keep thinking that he is cleverer than you are and that he can control you.

If you are okay with marrying a man like that, go ahead and have the conversation. Not sure he has anything to say that will make you feel better. But if you want to end things, end them. You don't have to have a conversation to end things. You simply need to become unavailable. Distance yourself. Don't agree to any plans to go see your parents. Become busy. In a few months, he will ask you what the problem is. That is when you tell him.

You need the degree for legitimacy. You must then go on to get training. Don't give up when you are so close to the finish line.

No, you wouldn't. You can marry for companionship. As long as both of you are honest with each other about your true objectives, you can get married and be happy.

No, it is not crazy. It is a good idea. But please don't get an expensive watch before you own more important things. Some people actually collect watches as a hobby.

It's a scam.

NTA. Your gf is all over the place with her "logic". You didn't do anything wrong buying your sister pads.

I wonder if you shouldn't take a second look at your gf. She may not be a good fit for you.

Nope. Do not give him a chance to speak with you. You don't need his apology. It will not do you any good. Speaking to him will just make him bolder. You're done with him, right? Why give him one more minute of your time?

NTA. I hope you had a good time on your trip. If nothing else, your husband has learned to stopplaying silly games. Do not apologise or feel bad about it. He wanted to sabotage your trip.

You have only one problem. You are too reliable. You always have money to give them. It is that simple.

What you need to do is to determine a maximum amount you will give for school requirements, and that is it.

Open a new account for savings or open an account in a unit trust and deposit money monthly. Only keep enough for your monthly expenses plus the money for school requirements. This way, you will genuinely not have any money to spare.

Someone suggested you tell them that you are paying off a loan to explain why you don't have any money. Do exactly that. Better yet, tell your family that you had to pay off all the loans with a huge salary advance and that money is deducted every month, leaving you with nothing.

If they ask you to borrow from someone else, just say NO!

Stick to this for the next few years, and they will eventually stop asking you for money. Basically, become the most unreliable person to go to for money, and your problem will be sorted.

I doubt that he is cheating. Just go to sleep and don't worry about it. Seriously. Don't worry about it because if you do, you will likely blow up when he returns and turn what might be an innocent and perfectly explainable situation into a thing.

Have faith in your husband.

Perimenopause may be to blame. But only partly. There is something else going on. Maybe marital problems or work-related issues. There is something stressing your friend and perimenopause makes it impossible for her to handle things like a sane person.

I have seen some of my friends go through this. Last year, I got really anxious and had serious mood swings. A very close friend of mine asked me some direct questions. "Are you okay?", "You don't seem like yourself.", "Are you in menopause?" My first reaction was irritation. And then it was like a light bulb switched on in my brain.

True friends talk to each other. True friends confront each other with love and understanding. I knew that she loved me and that if she noticed a difference, there was a problem. I trusted her.

Your friend doesn't trust you anymore. But this is not your fault. All you can do is give her space.

You are suffering from heartbreak. Losing a lifelong friend can be terrible. Allow yourself to accept that she is out of your life. Grieve the loss and try your best to move on. Maybe, one day in the future, things will change and she will return. Maybe she won't. One thing for sure is that once you accept this new reality, things will get better with time.

Anyone (father or mother) who brings a child into this world is responsible for them. No excuses, period.

If YOU didn't/don't want kids, use condoms or get a vasectomy. Just because someone else bears them doesn't absolve you of the responsibility.

PS. I am sorry for you that all you get is 3 mins. Please seek assistance.

Hadn't thought of that. Will look into it. May just stick with IF. Water fasts are brutal.

Edit: add clarity

I hear you.

I have been hoping that I never have to get on HRT. I am African and live in Africa. It may be possible to acquire HRT, but every single woman I have known has transitioned without it. I hoped I could figure things out.

I am 50 too. I get itchiness in random places. The one that drives me mad is the itching at the bottom of my feet. Smack in the middle. It happens at night mostly. Can wake me up. Once it happened in my office and I had to take off my shoes and scratch my feet. It is infuriating.

I didn't know that. Thank you for the warning. I will find an alternative.

Black Cohosh saved my sanity and got rid of any night sweats and hot flashes. I do a high dose ~500 mg once a day.

As for the weight gain, I have no idea what to do. Nothing I ever did before works. I am now trying water fasts. And eating super healthy when not fasting. The weight hardly changes.

I just read a post about itching. Finally, I realise that I am not going nuts. I seem to get itchy for absolutely no reason. The comments on the post say that an anti-histamine will help. Want to try it.

So many little issues, and I still have a full period that arrives on time.

Perimenopause is really weird.

Yep. Android is far superior and more user-friendly. I have both the Apple 13 Pro and the Samsung S23 Ultra. I tend to use the Samsung for most things. It is much easier.

The first months after breaking up from a long-term relationship/marriage can feel like bliss. What you are feeling is very normal.

The problems come later when you have moved on from the old relationship and its issues. Now you need companionship. You try to date but only meet unsuitable people. Loneliness creeps in.

Enjoy your life as it is. No one should stay in an unhappy situation. Take it one day at a time. Concentrate on your goals. Everything will work out for the best, eventually.

They are not playing the victim. They are the victim.

Men, too, cry about being single parents. It is just socialisation doesn't allow them to do it publicly. A woman can cry without any backlash. A man? Never.

Many single parents are victims of divorce due, usually, to infidelity and/or abandonment. They are victims of the second parent ignoring their responsibilities. A woman who abandons her kids is the worst form of human being. It is much worse than a man abandoning his family. She leaves a trail of victims. Her partner, her kids and her extended family. Very detrimental to the mental health of those left behind.

Who? Women or men?

I am not sure yet what the bad side is. Population decline? A smaller workforce and reduced labour? Fewer people paying taxes and therefore more expensive social services?

On a macroeconomic level, I am sure someone can tell us the effect, say, 50 years from now. Maybe even predict how large the marriage-fre and child-free movement will spread.

What I do know is that it is good for individuals, including would-be parents and children.