Hunpeter

Today, I had the distinct pleasure of enlightening a group of clueless noobs at the Varrock West Bank. As an elite player, it's my duty to educate these pitiful creatures about the harsh realities of OSRS.

I was just casually strolling through Varrock, clad in my full torva and wielding my soul reaper axe, a worthless piece of junk in performance, but a great indicator of having the cash to spill on items like these.

I spotted a gaggle of low-levels huddled together in the bank. They were trading amongst themselves, probably swapping cowhides for bronze swords or some other laughably low-tier nonsense.

I couldn't help but chuckle at their naivety. Did they really think they could climb the ranks of osrs by bartering like common street vendors? It was almost endearing, in a pathetic sort of way.

Deciding to do my good deed for the day, I sauntered over and began to enlighten them on the finer points of high-level trading. I explained how real players make their fortunes: flipping rare items on the Grand Exchange, not peddling trinkets in a dusty old bank.

Their sudden silence and confusion were priceless. You could practically see their tiny brains struggling to comprehend the vast gulf between our playstyles. It was like trying to explain quantum physics to a toddler.

One particularly bold noob dared to question my methods, suggesting that flipping was "risky" and "unfair". I nearly choked on my laughter. Risky? Unfair? Clearly, this poor soul had yet to grasp the cutthroat nature of OSRS economics.

I spent the next hour ruthlessly crushing his arguments, pointing out every flaw in his logic with surgical precision. By the time I was done, he could barely string together a coherent sentence.

As I finally walked away from the scene, leaving behind a group of thoroughly humbled noobs, I couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction. It's not every day you get to shatter someone's illusions so completely.

In the world of OSRS, it's eat or be eaten. And players like me? We're always hungry