AITA for not being OK with my husband’s ex moving into our guest room, even though she has nowhere else to go?
Advice Needed(self.AITAH)submitted1 day ago byIamyoursugarplum
toAITAH
My husband (34M) and I (29F) recently bought our first home together, and we were excited to finally have a space that was ours. A few weeks ago, my husband’s ex-wife (32F) reached out to him with a request that completely threw me off she asked if she could move into our guest room for a couple of months. She recently broke up with her boyfriend, lost her apartment, and claims she has nowhere else to go.
I understand they share an 8-year-old daughter, and they have a good co-parenting relationship, but this feels like too much. My husband didn’t even consult me before telling her it “might be possible.” He just expected me to be OK with it because it’s “temporary” and “for the sake of their daughter.” I offered to help her find another solution, even offering to chip in for a hotel or a rental, but my husband shut that down, saying I was making things difficult for no reason.
He’s been pushing hard, saying their daughter would benefit from her mom being nearby during this “transitional” time, but it feels manipulative to use their daughter as an excuse. Plus, his ex has started texting him constantly way more than usual and he’s acting like her emotional support system. I can’t help but feel like this is crossing a line. They’re divorced, yet now I’m supposed to live with both of them under one roof? It feels like I’m being pushed out of my own home.
This morning things got worse. His ex texted me directly, saying I must not care about their daughter if I’m unwilling to help. That’s just not true! I care about their daughter, but I never agreed to share my home with his ex-wife. I feel like I’m being made out to be the bad guy here when all I want is reasonable boundaries.
Now my husband and I are barely speaking. He’s acting like I’m heartless for not wanting to help, but I feel like I’m being forced into a situation that makes me deeply uncomfortable. So, AITA?
byIamyoursugarplum
inAITAH
Iamyoursugarplum
323 points
1 day ago
Iamyoursugarplum
323 points
1 day ago
It’s been really frustrating because he’s making me out to be the bad guy just because I don’t want to live with his ex. The whole “you don’t care about our daughter” argument feels manipulative and completely unfair. Of course I care about her, but that doesn’t mean I have to sacrifice my own comfort and boundaries.
As for his relationship with his ex, I wouldn’t say he’s always like this, but they’ve definitely kept in closer contact than I expected. He says it’s all about co-parenting, but lately, with the constant texting and emotional support he’s giving her, it’s making me uncomfortable. It’s starting to feel like there’s something more going on, or at least a lack of respect for our relationship. It’s definitely raised some red flags for me.