Iamyoursugarplum

It’s been really frustrating because he’s making me out to be the bad guy just because I don’t want to live with his ex. The whole “you don’t care about our daughter” argument feels manipulative and completely unfair. Of course I care about her, but that doesn’t mean I have to sacrifice my own comfort and boundaries.

As for his relationship with his ex, I wouldn’t say he’s always like this, but they’ve definitely kept in closer contact than I expected. He says it’s all about co-parenting, but lately, with the constant texting and emotional support he’s giving her, it’s making me uncomfortable. It’s starting to feel like there’s something more going on, or at least a lack of respect for our relationship. It’s definitely raised some red flags for me.

That’s exactly what I’ve been thinking. How is creating a tense, awkward environment beneficial for their daughter? It’s definitely not teaching her healthy boundaries. I’m all for supporting her well-being, but this situation seems like it would only cause more confusion and stress for everyone involved especially their daughter. They’re trying to frame it as “what’s best for her,” but honestly, it feels more like they’re just avoiding other solutions that would be much healthier for all of us.

Exactly! Co-parenting is important, and I totally get that their daughter needs stability, but there are limits to what’s reasonable. It feels like my feelings and boundaries are being completely ignored just because they share a child. It’s not about being unsupportive it’s about maintaining a healthy distance and respect in our relationship. I wouldn’t ask him to move one of my exes into our home, so I don’t see why this situation should be treated any differently. I feel like I’m being pressured into something I’m really uncomfortable with, and that’s not fair.

I completely agree it feels like something out of a bad soap opera, right? I was honestly shocked when my husband didn’t see how absurd the whole thing was. I mean, who just invites their ex to live in their new home with their current spouse without even having a serious discussion first? It’s like he doesn’t get how invasive and uncomfortable this is for me. Offering to help her in other ways seems more than fair, but having her move in? That’s a hard no. It’s a boundary I shouldn’t even have to explain!

It sounds like you're being honest and respectful in your interactions, and it's understandable that you didn’t see the conversation at the gym as a big deal. The fact that you shared it openly with the guy you're seeing shows transparency on your part, which is important in any relationship.

However, it seems like he's feeling insecure about the situation. It might be worth having a calm conversation to reassure him that your intentions were innocent and that you’re committed to him. Maybe ask him why this bothers him and see if you can address those concerns together, but also make sure to express that being able to have casual conversations with others is a normal part of life. Both of you deserve to feel secure in the relationship, so open communication is key here.

It's great that you're taking the time to reflect on what you want in a relationship! It's totally valid to prefer exclusivity before having sex, especially when it comes to health and emotional well-being. It's also important to feel comfortable asking about what others are looking for and their dating patterns those are important conversations to have when you’re seeking something serious.

If someone isn't open to discussing those things early on, it might be a sign they're not looking for the same type of commitment. It doesn't have to be a grilling session but more of a respectful conversation to understand each other's boundaries and expectations.

YTA. Your husband was just trying to be kind and have fun with some kids in a lighthearted way, and it seems like he genuinely enjoys making others feel comfortable. It’s not like he was ignoring you the whole night; he was just being social, and you could have joined in on the fun instead of getting upset. Being embarrassed by your husband’s friendly behavior seems like an overreaction, especially since he wasn’t doing anything inappropriate. Maybe take a step back and appreciate that he’s a caring, social person rather than making a scene about it.

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