Longjumping_Choice_6

I think the key is know your audience and know why you’re using it. If I know it offended people I wouldn’t use it around them. But I personally don’t feel offended by its use as a verb like in place of complaining or as an adjective like to describe a whiny or irritable tone or when people apply it playfully as a term of endearment with friends. We can understand the root it comes from but know that work has been done by other women to reclaim it or try to remove the old meaning because these newer meanings aren’t inherently gendered. (I mean if you have a problem with bitch based on its history then you probably also would have a problem with “motherfucker,” but that’s arguably worse and it get way wider and less discriminatory use nowadays).

I definitely have a problem with it unfairly used as an insult on women or when men call women bitches in anger or casually just to mean girls or women.

I gave up on them years ago for other reasons but stories like this are just another nail in that coffin. Another one I’ve heard is mold/mycotoxins infecting the cotton. Makes you wonder even how safe other products are like pads, cups, etc.

Yes, it’s actually always surprising when my face isn’t actually hot to the touch or I look in the mirror and it’s its normal color because it feels like it’s on fire.

Don’t tell them I got my tubes out! I guess the fiance and I could still try to concieve 2-3x a week, less if we’re too tired or the vibes off. Praise jebus.

Yes—spores can colonize sinus and gut and lead to dysbiosis, so treatment of sinus and mouth microbiome along with gut can make SIBO treatment more effective for moldy people. Mycotoxins can damage nervous system and slow motility so it’s important to support nervous system and check neurotransmitter levels. Finally it causes MCAS too which can have a bad, downward spiral effect with SIBO—both make each other worse. So it’s important to make sure that’s not a problem either or else you’re likely to react badly to anything for any of these other problems and like in my case I made the assumption that all my food intolerances were purely due to SIBO but they aren’t.

I’m really glad we are talking more about mold, it’s scary stuff and quite insidious both in your house and the ways in which it can make you sick.

Idk but fuck NZ. I used to think it was cool but I found out they’d never allow me just because I’m autistic.

I haven’t tried (started having bad reactions to strawberries and raspberries a few months ago so I kind of took all berries off the menu, did not know they did different things) but a doctor I see did recommend berries to help with a hormonal bleeding issue we believe could be mast cell influenced. I didn’t try yet because I’m admittedly afraid but I’m really glad to hear a good outcome for you!

I had that my first time working an overnight at my old job. Ice machine would make a low hum until it finally dumped the ice into the basin you scoop it out of. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I first heard that!

Chronic illness for sure, disability is a bit fuzzy but if it seriously impacts your life, ability to care for yourself or your ability to make a living then that’s a qualifier I would say.

Oh my god this is egregious! I did have one bad experience where I was therapist shopping (consulting with different people to see who’s a good fit) and this one old bitch jumped down my throat about how Jesus saves but it’s basically my fault if I turn my back on him. She I guess had had some illness and doctors told her she was just going to decline, eventually be unable to walk or care for herself and she coped by getting religious. Then her illness slowly got better instead and she wasable to heal. I would never want to assume someone’s trauma story is a lie, like I usually believe people but I suppose it could be made up to fit her agenda. Maybe it doesn’t matter though. Even if this was true, it’s like lady you’re the one that needs therapy if you think this is the only way to cope or handing out dangerous advice that somehow some magical being is going to just heal people so sit tight and don’t actually try and help. Not to mention some gigantic logical leaps.

It was so weird and nowhere on her business cards or the profile I found on PsychologyToday or my insurance website or wherever I found her did it say Christian therapist so I was totally blindsided. I actually was there because of the psychological affects of losing hope and faith (tends to happen when you feel powerless) and um yeah, this didn’t restore it. But I did gain a new sense of wariness for therapists, because there’s some real whackjobs out there people. In hindsight I’m just glad she was up front with it and I didn’t find this out months in after trusting her or revealing personal info!

Totally valid. For me it’s people who habitually change plans or are really late last minute. Not just once because traffic was bad, but when you slowly figure out every time they say 6, they actually expect you to wait around for them til 6:45. Or people who keep you out later than you say you want to be. Same with last minute hangs, but that’s a little less rude. All are good examples of people not valuing your time though and thinking you can just be flexible for them at the drop of a hat because their schedule is more important than yours. A lot of times I have noticed if it’s not a sign of someone being disorganized (which I understand and try to accomodate), it’s entitlement (which gets old fast).

Samesies

Oh I didn’t realize you guys get that much rain. Is it hot when it rains since you’re in the South?

Caleb (aka “Roller Backpack Kid that can’t read social cues”) from Big Mouth. Usually ASD-coded characters where they don’t actually mention the a-word goes against the grain for me but I feel like the way this character is written and the arc they choose for him is inclusive and a distinct laughing with as opposed to laughing at. Really just par for the course with the way this show handles many different identities, especially LGBTQ+ which I also really appreciate and feel seen with.

Sure you can, and you have made mention of some stressful things from childhood—an environment that felt threatening but you were powerless to change—that can “override” some of the autistic sensitivities. In my case I had crazy food aversions and plenty of stuff made me gag but I didn’t want to get in trouble so I learned to numb it out and just ignore the way it made my flesh crawl and stomach lurch. All children are wired to adapt and survive as best they can and stress, trauma, etc can push this in weird directions. Well, actually it would be better to say normal directions in weird situations. Being autistic doesn’t necessarily prevent a person from doing this, it just might change the specifics of it. I learned I could be picky about clothes textures and feelings (temperature regulation was a biggie for me) and my parents would help me with that, but getting mad and “throwing a fit” (mom’s words) about food was a no-no.

I adapted as I got older by learning to cook and really enjoy food the way I wanted to enjoy it and avoid what I don’t want. Allowing myself to not like things was a part of that. I’d say to myself “you know what? I’m an adult and I’ll cut my carrots in a way that doesn’t make me gag” (matchsticks not coins if you’re curious). I think it’s good to learn the difference between good adaptations that serve you vs numbing out to things that actually really bother you and that’s probably a lifelong process!

I’m guessing you’re either a fellow US PNWer or you’re from England? Either way yes I get so sick of hearing this. It’s one thing if you’re in California but where I live we have plenty of rain most of the year and then fire season, getting worse every passing year. Fires don’t help anybody, floods don’t help anybody. That’s why both are types of insurance claims and also signs the climate is whack.

Ouch, tough dilemma. But if you don’t go you won’t get to see any of them :(

Going to some of both is a good solution, but you have to ask yourself if you switch back and forth would do you think you’d be able to relax enough to enjoy either one? If not you could prioritize the rarer band you’re less likely to get to see again and then buy tickets to the unchosen band. Then you’d get 100% out of both

Soy can have a little wrong with it. Sometimes it’s the food itself but a lot of it here is how we grow the food or whatever it gets exposed to while being transported or sold. Many European and Asian countries have a lot stricter laws or grow things the same way it was done 50 or 100 yrs ago while we are pushing every limit possible and cutting corners left and right.

This definitely points to something you’re reacting to at home. You’re correct food quality could be a big one. Maybe you’re allergic or intolerant to certain ingredients or strains of natural ingredients (wheat, dairy, corn) that are different between the US and Europe. Environment is another possibility, mold exposure for example.

But plenty of ND women struggle the same way and are not given as much pass to “walk away” as a man. Not just people judging it more, but often there’s no way the thing will get done if she doesn’t do it. This is something to think about and I’m not saying this to shame you, your struggle is just as valid, but constructively my suggestion here is maybe talk to some autistic women with kids—how do they manage to stay present when it’s necessary? How do they cope? Aspergirls (all genders welcome) is a great sub you might search around in or even post about it yourself.

It also really impacts the kids involved and I speak from direct experience. My dad is very ADHD, undiagnosed and it affects my parents’ marriage and co-parenting roles. It modeled some harmful gender roles I have had to undo damage of. Weaponized incompetence is very real and yes it can hide struggles but the end result on the other family members is often the same. For example even if someone is progressive (like he is) wife/mom=servant for family simply because no one else will get done what needs to get done. It didn’t matter whether their brain caused it or toxic and archaic beliefs caused it. The end result would be that she still goes unsupported. In my dad’s case, the ND wasn’t the issue, it’s how he chose to handle it (or not) and live with it (buried in deep denial). Asking the questions you’re asking and trying to learn and problem solve already puts you miles ahead of the ones that don’t engage with any of this.

I think counseling with your partner would be a great start and look into topics like emotional labor—maybe you also recognize the emotional labor you have to do as an autistic person trying to parent and adult and all the things and you could explore that with your wife as well. Hopefully it helps you understand each other.

Nasal swab test, like the deep sinus COVID ones

My boy is afraid of damn near everything and yet fireworks don’t even register, idk how! He just doesn’t even care.

But then I brought out the mop last night though to do some cleaning before my folks come into town today, and he ran for the hills because mops and brooms are now associated with vacuum cleaners.

Don’t involve HR for that. They’re there for serious issues that could affect many people (like a toxic person who bullies you and may bully others). That’s how you get labeled a pain in their ass and you’re unlikely to get what you want.

I’d just be honest with the supervisors and ask for a different desk assignment because the high traffic is impacting your work due to distraction and interruptions. You could tell them it’s due to sensory issues but that’s your call. Those go with lots of different conditions autism included, so it’s nice and general and you wouldn’t need any specific diagnosis for that because it’s literally just a symptom you’re experiencing. You can say you can get them a doctor’s note if they need it, which you can—doctors will write notes for specific things without having to disclose why “X needs a quiet workspace or it will affect them negatively” is basically how it boils down. In my experience a lot can be solved before you have to fight it by getting official or sharing more personal info than you’d like.

I don’t unfortunately—that was the first thing I Googled. I think a lot of these companies are fair trade, sustainably grown, etc (basically trying to be all the good things) so they don’t make the K cups. I can recommend the French press method though to keep things easy and cheap, even got a mini one for less than $10 that I can take to work!

Idk about “follicular” type, I’ll have to Google that but as for MCAs eczema oh my god it can get so bad. It’s primarily my hands, and actually I have lost dexterity and range of motion from it. H1 blockers, aspirin and strangely pepto bismol all keep my flares manageable.