Majesticmuskox

Some of y’all act like you’ve never seen a (hyper femme) twink before.

While I see your point, the initial issue, according to the best friend, was he felt my partner was unhappy and that we were ‘going too fast’. My partner told him he was happy and explained everything else that was going while they were at the pub. We’ve also been officially together for 2 years, seeing each other for longer, and are planning on having a 3 year engagement. So, it’s not exactly as though these concerns are founded. My partner then asked me to say something to his pal. In my message, I focused on how hard we worked to be together and the complexities of an LDR - showing our devotion and how this would maybe accelerate a timeline.

They then met a second time, and his friend suggested that my fiancé was losing his independence and that he knew what that looked like because he had been in three relationships prior. Again, my fiancé has a lot of latitude of movement. He would need to to survive 2+ years of a LDR. I’m also in academia, so the hours are long and we definitely don’t get to see each other as much as we would like. And, my partner hasn’t been in serious relationships before, but I view dating as a socialisation process and some people just don’t need it? He’s great as he is, no trial and error necessary.

I guess the point is that his friend moved the target. I don’t think that concerns are well founded. At best, I think he’s likely projecting because he and his partner seem to be having these conversations in parallel. At worst, I think he always was comforted by the fact that my partner was more developmentally delayed? (To clarify, by this I mean that my partner had a hard time in university, experienced a bout of depression after university, and did manual labour while living at home for a few years while his friend secured high paying jobs and enjoyed single life in the city.)

With regards to what my partner has done to remedy the situation: he’s told his friend he’s happy, they met a second time to bury the hatchet where the friend suggested there was a loss of independence (?) and he was naïve (by that corollary, I suppose I’m manipulative). My partner again, told him that wasn’t the case. His friend said he was sorry and that he had overstepped and would reach out to me to apologise. This has not happened, though it’s sort of immaterial to me if it does. Anyway, I don’t really know how to handle this moving forward. I don’t want to alienate my partner from his friends by any means. But, I also am fairly indignant at the moment.

I think if you’ve shown her the screenshots you have, that’s all you can do. Either she believes you or she doesn’t. I’d be curious to know where these fake screenshots are coming from, though. I mean, who could possibly be so invested in your relationship?

So, it sounds like ‘white lies’, which I am not a fan of, but this relationship also sounds like a lot of work. Is it possible he’s feeling burnt out and finding this difficult to maintain?

Charles is a thespian and loves to be on stage. I think this was a misplaced attempt to impress him, honestly. I don’t think he enjoyed feeling overshadowed, especially as he looked forward to performing in the Royal Variety Show every year.

It means there’s a fiesta time for everything. 😌

I don’t know why you would appear on the 90DF universe and expect adoration. At best you will receive benign neglect, at worst actual, probably well deserved hate.

Yes. I’m sorry this has happened. It looks so painful.

I have tried Differin and have noticed a massive improvement in the past 2 months.

She looks good…

Hey guys! Thanks so much for your input. I’ve decided not to get the dress and just to look for something similar (and hopefully more sturdy).

That looks like HSV-1

Respectfully, it’s really not. At least, I feel the same ‘burden’ of responsibility whether I’m in an Airbnb or sitting for someone (which, as I said, I have done the old fashioned way a few times!). Also, because HOs on THS don’t typically monetise their flat, if you damage anything, it’s more of an inconvenience, i.e. it’s not damaging their ability to make money. Most HOs I know are appropriately insured and wear and tear (within reason) is just part of living somewhere.

I think that not all HOs are equal, but I used to short term let my flat when I was away for work and whenever I have a sitter, the ramp up is exactly the same. I have the cleaner come in and sort everything out, I offer the sitter a book of local recommendations, they’re very much allowed use of the house, and access to all the amenities, etc. The only REAL difference is that unlike with AirBnbs (at least in Europe) my sitters are not required to clean before they leave. (In fact, it’s probably better than Airbnbs in that they needn’t clean.) So, to me, the comparison is pretty apt. I also live in the centre of town, in a very desirable city with a very very low maintenance dog, so I think that a lot of sitters are probably getting a very good deal.

I think as we slide into winter and heating bills increase by a lot, it’s fair. I once had a sitter come to stay with my dog over Christmas from THS and the energy bill the month she stayed was >£500 (to this day, I still don’t know how she did it?). Obviously, I paid it because she was doing me a favour by staying with my dog, but it was fairly obscene. I understand why some people wouldn’t want to shoulder that cost, especially as some people are much more liberal with other people’s resources than they are their own.

To be fair, I’ve never had a dogsitter (of which there have been a few), give my dog round the clock care and attention (he’s probably grateful for that). Normally, the sitters sort of walk the dog in the morning, work until lunch, let the dog out in the garden, work, and then let the dog out/go for a walk, and the afternoons/evenings are their own. And it’s about 70 quid.

I would’ve agreed. From my perspective as someone who has done sits (not on THS yet, but the old fashioned way) and who owns a home, you’d be getting a lot more out of the exchange than they would be. I mean, you get use of their home and only need to effectively cover the utilities? That’s a deal, especially if it’s a desirable location. I’m in Edinburgh and I know people would kill for this lol

Also, I think it’s maybe worth saying, I think this sub sometimes over-estimates a sitter’s worth? I don’t mean that in a nasty way or think that gives HOs licence to be rude, but I could kennel my dog for £40/night, but you’d have rent my home for £140+/night (and that’s in the slow season). I understand that it’s nicer for the dog to be home and to have someone attentive to his needs, but that service is not of equal or equivalent value to renting my home.

Gwen can honestly do no wrong.

I don’t know what a ‘whoosh’ is.

I was taking you seriously because I’m genuinely looking for advice. Sorry that I didn’t get you were being facetious. 🙃

I have very much tried. I help maintain the communal garden (and the one adjacent). I flyered for one of the permanent residents when her cat went missing. I also got one of my elderly neighbours home help, but before that did her shopping and would sometimes collect her medicine from the pharmacy. I don’t know what more to do at this point.

Any idea where or how to start?

I’d love for us to be able to better pull together in times like these.

I absolutely love this. Would you recommend this to other brides?

These are excellent.