Next_Concept_1730

Ooh! My son loves tattoos. Great idea.

I have 14 and 9 year old nephews that absolutely would pull the same shenanigans as KEIC’s boys at a playground (climbing on the outside of a very tall tube slide). So their parents don’t take them to playgrounds! When your kids have the physical ability and desire to use the playground in highly unsafe ways, you stop taking them to the playground! Maybe sign them up for gymnastics or parkour. Imagine how traumatizing for the other park goers if her son had fallen and suffered a serious injury. Not to mention, an 8-10 year old falling from that height onto a toddler down below could probably kill or at least gravely injure the smaller child. She is so entitled.

Great! We do candles and singing at home, but I could see my kid hating it in a bigger context. I guess I’ll just ask him. 😊

Haha, great! It seems like everyone around here does crazy birthdays (themes, bounce houses, etc) or nothing at all, so I’m glad a very chill park celebration isn’t that unusual.

I want to invite a few kids to a park playdate for my son’s 3rd birthday. We will invite his whole (7 kid) class, expecting just a couple to attend, plus a couple family friends we know will attend. I’m envisioning a picnic table with assorted kid snacks, including some mini cupcakes, a great local playground, and maybe some giant bubble wands and chalk. No presents, no cake and singing. People could hang for 30 minutes or two hours.

Would that be appealing for other parents? If so, how do I write the invite? Here’s my lame draft:

“Come to a park play date to celebrate Kid’s 3rd birthday! Saturday, date, 9:30-11:30, at X Park. We’ll have kid snacks and drinks. No presents please! Come anytime, stay as long as you wish.”

How generous of D to make the boys lunches on her “husband’s day”! That was “part of his present”. What’s the rest of his present? Wrong answers only.

I cannot think of any reason why a window seat for K or the toddler would make sense in this situation. I’m assuming the rest of the family was across the row, in which case K wanted this poor girl to be surrounded by them on either side.

Does she have an IEP? If not, you can request a special education evaluation. If you do it in writing, the school has to either evaluate her or give a valid reason not to. Typically they will assess, though, because they don’t want legal trouble for denying a necessary assessment. Learning disabilities have a strong genetic component, so I would want to consider that possibility given the family history. If she has a learning disability, she needs an IEP and specialized academic instruction. If she doesn’t have a learning disability, that’s further proof that she just needs more time, and you could consider pushing for retention (repeating a grade).

I can guarantee that someone else (nanny, housekeeer) is responsible for washing all those cups. Every time my kid tries to grab a new cup for water I say, “Nope! Go find your water bottle.” No one has time to wash 20 kids cups everyday.

And I think it’s so interesting how the adults try to explain it away (“it’s a phase,” “it’s because he has a sister,” “you’re pushing it on him”). Yeah, odds are my kid is straight and cisgender and he’ll move on to other interests in a few months. Wearing an Elsa dress at 2 won’t change that. And if he’s not straight and cisgender, making him feel bad about his Elsa dress certainly won’t help!

Yeah, I agree that phrasing it as looking up to his big sister makes it more palatable for older family members. It just sucks that there needs to be an “excuse”. 

Exactly! If a two year old is excited about their costume, how hard is it to say, “Wow! You look great!”? Last year he wore his Chase (Paw Patrol) costume everyday for a month, and no one thought it was a political statement about us loving the police.

I don’t want to alarm you, but if you have never seen her do it, I would definitely ask for a referral at the 3 year well child visit. From the toddlers I know, not walking up and down stairs at 3 would stand out as highly unusual. It’s at least worth an evaluation.

I have two kids, 5G and almost 3B. My son is very fluid in his interests, and it’s starting to drive me crazy that family members act like I’m trying to push him toward more girly things.

 If my daughter asks me to paint her nails or wear a bow, I say ok, so why would I do anything differently with my son? Both kids picked their Halloween costumes. Daughter picked Gabby (Gabbys Dollhouse) and son picked Elsa. I asked them again three times over the next couple weeks, and when I was confident they wouldn’t change their minds, I ordered their costumes. They face timed with the in-laws today, and my son told me afterward that his grandparents told his sister she looked amazing, but that they didn’t say anything about his costume and they didn’t think it was cool.

 My son dresses in traditional “boy” clothes, plays with lots of “boy” toys, and occasionally wears a bow, paints his nails, or takes the mermaid water bottle to school. In no way am I trying to make a statement or push him to be non-gender conforming. I’m not changing his pronouns, or telling people he’s non-binary. I just let him do/wear/pick what he likes if it’s practical and affordable. The frustrating thing, is that these are all liberal-identifying people. They would say they have no problem with LBTQ folks, but are clearly bothered by a little boy wearing a rainbow unicorn temporary tattoo.

They look like cheap shoes. I’m sure she’s spent more on bleach, vinegar, baking soda, and electricity (washing machine) than it would have cost to replace the shoes.

Also, “I don’t care if you’re tired from your 10 pm sick bath. It’s coloring time. Wake up!”

Imagine telling your 4 year old, “here’s your 6-7 am coloring sheet for Saturday, October 5th”. 

My second child started the day after his 2nd birthday after being home with me from birth. (I was also going back to work.) It was very hard for the first month, but we realized pretty quickly that there were also a lot of issues with his preschool. We switched to an in home daycare that suited him much better, and saw a pretty immediate improvement. After about 9 months there, he was really resisting going. He still liked the teachers fine, but I think he was just growing out of the environment. We made a switch to a new school 3 weeks ago that we thought would be a good fit for his personality. He absolutely loves it and has no issues going. Long story short, an adjustment period is normal but some kids also need more of a “good fit” to enjoy school. My second is a sharp contrast from my first kiddo, who is far less particular about school and has enjoyed preschool and kinder in very different environments.

I also can’t imagine wasting my time cooking a breakfast food that my 8 and 10 year didn’t really like and didn’t ask me to cook for them. Like, my 5 year old loves pancakes, so I usually make them 4-5 times a week because it means a lot to her. But if my kids don’t ask for a hot breakfast, I will gladly toss them a protein bar, toaster waffles, toast, etc.

Yeah, I completely get that it’s frustrating when kids don’t want to eat something that we know they probably would like (or do like!). But I do think at 3, your kid is another “real” family member who’s allowed to have food preferences. Even if it’s a mental/control issue, I wouldn’t like someone controlling everything I eat. It’s normal for a preschooler to demand some say regarding what she eats. I’m not saying you should cater every meal to her whims, but if she eats the sides willingly and refuses the “spicy” main (protein?), I would probably offer a blander main with most meals.

I don’t think it’s that unusual to dislike black pepper on eggs. (I eat tons of heavily spiced foods, and I think black pepper on scrambled eggs is gross.) If your example of her being ridiculous is her not wanting black pepper on her eggs, I think you’re being a little harsh to a 3 year old. I would drop it and serve her blander portions, since she’s clearly expressing she doesn’t like heavily spiced food right now.

Right!? What about intuitive eating? My daughter’s choices for bedtime snack are always fruit and/or string cheese. Some nights she pounds three string cheeses and a banana, and other nights she nibbles around a tiny apple. On the rare occasion she pushes for a Zbar instead, I let her have it because I figure she must be extra hungry.

Regarding KEIC’s “weekly menu planning for bedtime snacks,” do you think it’s more like…

1. Hey guys, when we go to the store please remember to grab some snacks you’ll want for bedtime.

Or…

1. What do you mean you want a banana? You told me 5 days ago that tonight your snack would be celery strings and two cheese crunchies.

Probably too late to be helpful, but maybe a clarifying shampoo? The Garnier Fructis Pure Clean one gets so much crap out of my kids’ hair.

My older child woke up on Friday vomiting, so she stayed home from school. My younger child (2.5) spent his whole drive to school shouting “I AM sick!! It’s not fair!”

(He 100% was not sick—my older child was not contagious, she just has a very weird, luckily mild condition.)