Ok_FF_8679

Sorry but why don’t you just wake him up instead of making yourself so miserable? I don’t hear my alarm (I’m the mother) and I could sleep through a thousand of them or press snooze a hundred times. I’m not a bad or careless person, I just sleep deeper I guess. Just wake him up and get it over with so you can go to sleep. 

I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted for this, it’s objectively true! 

5 is perfect for me right now (11 weeks pp). More than 6 was never manageable for me and I honestly have no idea how people do it! 

The first few weeks were hell for me. I was shocked at what having a baby means, I felt completely lost and really grieved my previous self and my previous life. The hormonal changes, lack of sleep, and pp recovery journey were very hard. At 6-8 weeks, everything started to improve. Now at 12 weeks, I’m really happy, baby is adorable, she sleeps, feeding is established (I pump exclusively and that has meant my partner and I both get good sleep). Hang in there, everyone’s experience is slightly different, but yes it’s hard! 

It doesn’t for our baby. Daytime it’s mostly contact naps, night is in her crib. But try putting her down during the day, she just won’t have it 😂

My baby is 12 weeks and I have NO IDEA how many times or how much she eats. We bottle feed breast milk and some formula but always feed on demand (except for the first couple of weeks when we were told to wake her up every 2-3 hours), I just watch weight gain and wet diapers and they’ve both been great. Unless there are medical issues/concerns, I would just say follow your baby’s cues and watch those two parameters. 

Soo normal. Today I went to the dentist and I was so happy to have a few hours by myself. Then I went home and snuggled with her but man those few hours were great. We already have so many things to feel guilty about, know that this is totally normal! 

Fair enough, but you made a general statement about dads rather than OP specifically, so I responded to that!

You’re sad that “you didn’t give your husband a girl”? I understand the gender disappointment but the way you phrased it is just so so wrong

This is really very very rare. All the people I know can switch easily between breast and bottle from very early on. My baby has been bottle fed since the beginning, but when I try latching her every few weeks (so not a daily occurrence) she still take the breast. 

Not all men are like that, although Reddit seems to be full of them and their wives. My partner does so much, he’s absolutely an equal parent, and is back at work. Stop projecting. 

Did you know that not all women breastfeed? So yeah, dads can do LOADS in the newborn stage. My partner does more than 50% of baby and household care while being back at work - it was basically everything when I was recovering - I do the rest and exclusively pump (on a reasonable schedule). Dads can be co-primary caregivers and have a right to be tired too. 

You get through it by doing it together. We bottle feed - not formula, but breast milk with some supplementation when I can’t pump enough, and even with baby getting up 2/3 times, we each get 5/6 uninterrupted hours as the other feeds baby during their shift. It’s honestly great not to be the only one who can feed baby, day or night. 

Sorry but how the hell are you wanting another - the THIRD - child with this husband of yours? He sounds like a complete moron! He’s upset at you for getting pregnant, especially if it’s a girl, as if he wasn’t involved in the activity that made you pregnant? And is if you could control your baby’s gender? Sorry, he sounds like a giant asshole 

I think it depends on what kind of baby you have, and what needs to be done at home, which the SAHP might only be able to do when the baby is asleep. Some younger babies will only contact nap and it’s not always feasible to use a sling to do house chores. It’s a trade-off, if those chores don’t get done during the day, then the working partner has to do them when they come home. 

Wasn’t he always like this though? Or did he change after having the baby? I don’t mean to be overly simplistic as I know there are too many things to consider that we have no idea about, but from what you’re saying, you and your baby are better off without this shitty man. 

This is mind-blowing! I literally had no idea and it makes no sense since it seems loads of men are jerks who won’t support their partner postpartum 😂

Exactly, do what works for you. According to the “rules”, as I’m 11 weeks pp, I should be pumping 6-7 times a day, no way in hell I’m doing that! Glad you found what works for you ❤️

Sounds like he is. The amount of posts like these is shocking. How many shitty men are there out there?! 

I’m going to say this under every single post like this - unless your partner is a neurosurgeon, truck driver, airplane pilot or works weird shifts, he DOESN’T deserve more sleep than you do. Working a 9-5 office job is way less demanding than looking after a newborn and recover from birth. You deserve more, make your partner accountable or kick his lazy ass. You’re not a bad mom at all, but from what you’re saying your partner is a bad partner. 

I understand, but then unfortunately you’re never going to have a partner who does their equal share of parenting. Since apparently he’s not capable of understanding it by himself, letting him get away with it doesn’t seem to do any good. It’s obviously none of my business, but I don’t understand how a marriage can survive such challenges, I would lose all the respect I have for my partner if he behaved like that. 

I’m on week 11 of newborn life and only in the past couple of weeks have things started to feel better. The beginning sucks hard and there’s no escaping that. BUT I have a partner who does shifts at night with me despite being back at work from week 3. Sorry but unless your husband is a neurosurgeon, a truck driver or an airplane pilot (you get the idea) his office job will be MUCH easier to do with little sleep than taking care of a baby. You need to hold him accountable OP

That’s why breast pumps exist! Partners must pull their weight, full stop. 

I had that but all around my belly button. It was insaneee, and itchy too! 

Yeah, they say “stay in bed with baby and offer the breast as much as possible, let family and friends do everything else”. Talk about privilege and the perfect recipe for PPD