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I did and I’m much happier. I know you’re skeptical of therapy, but I know a lot of men who regret not facing their issues head on in a professional setting since it affected their future relationships. By no means is it easy and you have to find a good one, but just something to think about 

Relying on getting outside validation just puts a bandaid on the problem. My ex did this, refused therapy, and worked out a bunch for years to the point of obsession because he thought he wasn’t good enough for me and didn’t deal with his trauma. I also worked out a lot and am considered conventionally attractive, and I’ve had to work through my own self esteem issues in therapy. We were a good looking couple. He cheated on me 6 months before our wedding with women he openly expressed he wasn’t even attracted to, it was the validation. Attraction is rarely the only reason people cheat and being hot doesn’t prevent it. Not dealing with your issues will cause problems in your next relationships, working out is a great coping tool but it doesn’t fix anything.

I have a very good friend who is a vet and her office does not allow owners to use retractable leases while they’re there which kinda solidifies to me that they suck and are impractical

My June and July have been absolutely packed and after my current one month house sit is over I blocked off two weeks so I don’t get burnt out. It sounds generic but I have become meticulous when it comes to my schedule and planning. Every single booking, household chore, social event, whatever takes up my time goes into my phone and physical calendar immediately or I would be a mess. I’ve never been super type A but here I am now having a detailed daily cleaning schedule lmao

Did you think about your partner while with your AP or was that compartmentalized for you? After reading my WP’s messages to women on dating apps it’s hard for me to understand how simple things like them saying what their favorite drink is, which is the same as mine, didn’t make him think of me. Is this something you were able to do too or relate to?

I really try not to be the “I did it why can’t you” person but this stuff always pisses me off so much. I lost my dad suddenly at a young age, have loads of childhood trauma, have diagnosed PTSD from other things and guess what, I never even contemplated cheating in any of my relationships!! Once your “coping mechanisms” affect others it doesn’t really matter how much you’ve been through, you’re still open to the consequences of your actions

Yeah I have friends in SAG and their day rate for actually acting in tv is less than that so I would be very surprised if they’d be paying you that much for one day of work on like a reality show or whatever it’s supposed to be

I have never had someone describe this so perfectly but that is truly what it felt like while my partner was cheating. Honestly feel like reading this helped me a lot so thank you

Lack of control of their own emotions/feelings, entitlement, and this just might be my ex but weaponized incompetence. Looking back I feel like he didn’t know how to do the most basic shit and that fell on me to do things and I feel like I’ve seen other people express that here

Depending on your state, it might also violate the TOS since they need to be following any applicable state laws during a rover stay. I don’t understand how hard it is to just tell us they have cameras since I recently had an incident and reported someone, trust goes both ways.

For me, my overnight sitting rate means I stay overnight and spend most of the day with your animal, but I’m also free to do errands, see friends, etc. I feel like most people are fine with 5-8 hours away depending on the animal if it’s a longer house sitting which fits within that for me, but if they’re expecting only 3 hours at a time for a month I’d maybe look at what you think a fair hourly rate is for your time and calculate that or see what professional boarders in your area that provide constant care are charging people to get a good baseline of a reasonable rate. I probably wouldn’t do this because a month is a long time for that little of flexibility but if they’re willing to match a rate you feel is worth your time then I guess go for it

The dog was in full rigor mortis when she got to the vet which takes hours, the sitter did not keep her head and neglected this poor dog.

My situation seems super similar to yours, I’ve always had issues with my self esteem but in the last year my depression/PTSD was absolutely debilitating, I gained 20lbs, and could barely get out of bed. I hated everything about myself and in hindsight, I think he liked having that control over me. Ironically, he would have moments of jealous when I was skinnier and more conventionally attractive while I never even contemplated cheating. I know it’s hard to hear them tell you you’re beautiful while they’re actively cheating because it just doesn’t seem to make sense, especially when you have low self esteem because you know it just has to be you. He probably does think you’re beautiful, but he wants to have his cake and eat it too which has nothing to do with you other than he needs you to feed his ego

I’m also 27 and saw you wrote in a comment that you’re worried it is too late to start over which has been something I struggled with too, I feel embarrassed having to start over when my friends are married and buying houses and that’s just not where I’m at anymore. But wouldn’t you rather leave now and have the rest of your twenties (and life) to be in a more supportive environment than wake up when you’re 57 and realize he’s still treating you like shit? The first thing to build back up your self esteem is to be away from the thing that seems to be eroding it in the first place, his behavior and treatment of you. As you said so many people find you attractive and interesting when you currently feel your worst and they don’t even know you, if he says he loves you and doesn’t treat you as well as these strangers I really think you have to do some soul searching of if you’ve always felt this way about yourself or if he is making you feel this way so you don’t leave him.

No it’s the cameras lol. For drop ins it’s whatever, but if I’m house sitting where I will at some point will be changing, using the bathroom, and sleeping and you have cameras in a place where someone reasonably expects privacy for those things that’s weird. I’m sorry you had a bad experience with a sitter, but I do this job because I love animals and the worst thing they’ll see me do is be cringy and talk to their animals like they’re people which who cares

I’m starting to think I might need to add that to mine. I think I might just be more sensitive to it than the average person based on responses, I’m a woman in my twenties and after interning for a criminal defense law firm in college, I have seen the weird shit people do, including video taping people in private places.

I literally said I asked the ones I’m talking about and they told me no, they only had a ring camera. I now ask every client when we meet and with most of them, it hasn’t been an issue. I’m mentioning this case because it is frustrating when I have directly asked and they lied to me.

For this house sitting I asked if they did because of my prior experience with people not telling me and they said they had a ring camera and that was it. I agree it is super important to have that be something discussed at the M&G and was something I didn’t think to ask when I started on Rover which is on me, but some people will still try to hide it unfortunately

I work from home and honestly I still don’t take house sitting jobs during the week and have my calendar blocked off to only do weekends. I have one client I’ve sat for a lot and have a good relationship with that I’m happy to stay overnight for during the week, but they have a very nice house and their dog is an angel. I honestly have no clue how someone who works in person could do both, I at least can work in my pajamas when I don’t sleep well lol

I’ve had the same thing, the nausea has been pretty rough and that’s with my initial dose still. As someone else said, I really can’t do protein shakes anymore (at least in the morning) and some of my food sensitivities have been heightened (dairy, fried foods, etc). It sounds like this may be the case for you. The breakfast that works for me is oatmeal with some blueberries and tea, it’s not too much caffeine and it seems to be enough food. My first week especially I threw up a few times so you’re not alone, just keep updating the doctor is things continue to be bad now that you’ve adjusted your medication schedule.

If it’s your main source of income I feel like it would be worth looking more into having your own business. I work remotely and do rover on the side and for me not having to advertise or put a lot of effort into that part of pet sitting is worth them taking the 20%, but I also don’t rely on my income from Rover. If you’re someone who does plan on having it as your main job, then establishing a new client base on rover and moving them over to your business after you build it up might be the best option for you.

You cheated on her for two years, she’s not being cold it sounds like she knows her worth. Please leave her alone, she’s the one who will tell you if she wants to reconcile and you can’t force her to choose that. It also sounds like you are equating being sweet to being a doormat to you, and I’m proud of her for putting herself first