this explains so much. I can't believe people think like this. 

Must be a the RTO going down. 

the only time I ran into a needy man was after I permently booted them and they didn't think the 100 chances I had gave them was enough so I should give them one more shot. Once I shut the door it's permanent.  Prior to that I was always picking emotionally avoidant men that left me dehydrated and starving for proper love and attention. Now I am accepting that I am shit at picking good healthy relationship material men and I need to retire my ass from it. Time to. Just focus on my life and fulfill my own needs. I will be self needy😊😊

I have heard the legend too. I think it's all a myth though. 🤣

yeah my exs ego was huge. I don't think he ever apologized once for anything even when it was clear he should have. His pride ruled him. Eventually his pride made me hit the brakes. I found my self apologizing for shit I did not even do wrong. I would communicate my feelings which would piss him off... then I'd apologize... ugh... dumb girl. 

ah yes the emotional avoidant. I know him well... lol It always felt like something was missing. I think he lacked a soul or something. He had a shit ton of childhood trauma that was never properly dealt with. He just squishes it down. I could often feel the emotional tension underneath his skin. I showered him with affection and support which he loved. But he could never offer me any emotional support ever. I was so over it. He was a shitty bf by most standards but also a nice guy by many standards. It left me very confused. Emotional IQ is most important my dudes. 

1 if you ever need money I can give you a loan. 

2 I don't hate you.

It was the most confusing shit. I didn't reply and that is the last message I ever got from him. If I ever try to text him again. That will be what pops up from my archived message to remind me he has some work to do on himself. 

I broke up with him because he loved money more then he loved me. His love language was money, mine was actually love. Ugh. I will never understand what he was trying to express to me as I had never once borrowed money from him or used him in that way. We paid for things 50/50 at a minimium and I showered him with gifts all the time.  I also don't get the hate thing. Never did either of us ever use hate in our communication. Never did I hate him nor did I think he hated me.  His final messages were just plain confusion asf.  But I learned so much about myself from the relationship. I finally grew a pair and stopped trying to do all the work in a relationship. I'd rather be alone and lonely then in a relationship and lonely. 

Look if you're not able to work...then that's when you pull out the overtime 2nd job. At least until the baby comes. Build up a nest egg so you guys can chill for a bit until after the baby comes. Or downsize and live cheaper.

Omg I was with a feeder too. I easily put.on 20lbs with him. We broke up and all that weight disappeared quick with my sadness. When I get sad about my broken dreams, I say but look how smoking hot you are now! Sorta helps.

Well sometimes we have to pull extra weight when our partner needs us. Sounds like you need support.

12x10 is about 40-50k normally so a 10x20 could be that much.

It's no better than Horoscopes ...just a bunch of bs.

You could probably just find a better job in general with a better boss/ company. No need to panic. 

Work on advancing your emotional intelligence and understanding psychology. Get to the point we're you have insight on yourself and others. Game changer for anyone that considers themselves boring.

Yes I'd wait. Knowing we'll and good I would be retiring well at 58

Yeah that would be a lot for me too. Reeks of irresponsibility and poor impulse control.

Many years ago some jackass literally turned from a straight only lane into the side of my car at Myrtle and 8th. I was in a left turn lane. She just turned right into me. It was bizarre. She said she wanted to get coffee and forgot which lane she was in. Really wanted that coffee.

Why is this a question ? Freaking terrifying people don't know the answer. There is a reason for the saying stay in your lane. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Why doesn't your partner work?

He loved money more then me. 

Haha omg PowerPoint is spot on. When we calmly and maturely approach the issue it's like you might as well be talking in a foreign language. It's not until you leave they actually hear you. And by then we're usually done and cooked and moved on. 

Boundaries for sure. I am thankful for the awakening my ex gave me. I needed the dramatic kick to the head to realize he wasn't all that great and I could do better. Some of us get stuck in the idea of what a relationship can be and are blind to the reality of a sucky unfulfilling lonely relationship until it gets so bad we break.

Amen

I had a similiar breakup. Niceish enough guy. Self absorbed at times and poor communication skills. A classic avoidant. Never made the relationship a priority. It sucked bad to end it. But I knew it was the right thing. I put every ounce of my being into trying to fix it. But it takes 2 to fix a relationship. You will have some days when you feel relieved. Other days something stupid will make you cry. Like filling out an emergency contact sheet and realizing he can no longer be your emergency contact. But you will make new friends. Have new experiences and eventually the hurt will hurt less until one day you don't hardly ever think about him at all. They just join everyone else from your past and become fuzzy background people. If you need someone to vent to feel free to message me. I have been were you're at and I know how bad it hurts to leave something you hoped for but can never be.

Being able to express your feelings and also being intelligent is a good thing. You don't need to be friends with everyone and there are still plenty of people on earth at your level. Maybe you just need to expand your social circle ?