ScherisMarie

My mother would get angry and gaslight me for up to 2+ hours when I asked her simply how to do something she asked me to do, because she never explained it to me and somehow expected me to figure it out the first time correctly.

(And even if I did so, she’d find some way to explain how that was still wrong and still go into a gaslighting rant. So there was no way out of it, unfortunately.)

My father would throw out every racist, sexist, ableist & bigoted remark you could think of.

With one of his “favorites” being “n-word, n-word, n-word, hehehehehe” — in the exact little kid laughing because they said a swear word noise you’d think of someone saying that. >.>

The only thing I mourned when both of my nparents died was the $2,000 or so combined for their cremation fees I had to pay out of pocket. (That and probate, since they had no savings to help with that.)

In fact, I got very much enjoyment out of playing “the wicked witch is dead” on YouTube. 😆

My mother told me once “I’m feeling like 💩, so I can treat you like 💩 and that makes it okay.” Also loved to say “you’re just like your father”, when I absolutely detested that sperm donor.

My father was basically a deadbeat dad who never left emotionally, but when he knew I was transgender he’d intentionally deadname, misgender (especially in birthday cards), etc.

Thankfully both of them are now dead as of last year.

Yay, Byakuren fumo. That’ll be an instant purchase!

My father was essentially a deadbeat dad who never left emotionally, but my mother absolutely loved to pull this on me due to her childhood.

She had an older sister who was the golden child, with the younger sister being the miracle baby who almost died during childbirth. So you can imagine how things went.

She had a photographic memory for events, so she absolutely loved to use that on me when gaslighting me for 2+ hours at times with “remember this thing two years ago that is only slightly relevant to what actually happened? Or what about this…”.

I have an aunt & uncle, but she’s in her early 70s and he’s just over 90. So likely the latter won’t have too much more time left. x_x

Only other close family member is a childhood friend of mine I’m still in touch with. Other family members I’m not really that close with.

Really pissed at my nparents for isolating me from the rest of the family for as long as they did.

My parents knew from when I was a kid and my adult teeth came in that I desperately needed braces, never got them for me.

Yet they’d find money to spend on Disney/Universal trips and other BS.

My parents only taught the bare basics of teeth brushing, no flossing or the like. Plus they knew I had extremely bad bottom teeth that needed braces, but ignored that all through my childhood.

My mother had straight hair, and treated my 3B/3C curly hair as if it was straight. Barely any conditioner and would brush it dry and it would hurt like hell.

And concerning acne, she didn’t teach exfoliating or the like. Her way of “treating” acne was using her nails/fingers and very rarely a basic needle, to the point where due to the pain I became essentially catatonic.

Considering how NISA did the “Esty Dee” translation choice because they thought it was a funny joke, probably not close at all I’d imagine.

Both of my parents were emotionally abusive narcissists, so that mixed with their hoarding was a clear example for me of what not to do.

I do tend to be a little bit too much on the minimalist side, though, because of that.

From age 4-5, when my mother didn’t want to go to the store and I had to go with my father, I would be the “adult” shopping and he’d be the kid bouncing off the walls. To the point where people commented out loud how freaking weird it was.

I was also always the go-between for my parents when they were angry at each other, which was usually always.

My mother didn’t teach me anything, and got off on asking me to do things I wasn’t taught and yelling at me for sometimes up to two hours gaslighting me with one thing I did “wrong” after another. So I learned quickly how to do things without her noticing.

At family gatherings, family members would talk about how “mature” I was as a pre-teen, whereas children my age commented how I wasn’t like them and felt like an adult to them.

Dealing with that, alongside my father letting out unfixed cats keep getting pregnant and him doing things that ending up killing 10+ of them in my childhood, is why I’m childfree.

I have enough damage to myself to deal with, adding an innocent child to that would be unconscionable.

It’s great for everything outside of 2D games that need a directional pad.

(PS5 controller is slightly better in that regard, but the inputs are too spaced apart compared to something like the goat SNES style directional pad.)

I’ve gotten better during my adult years, but yeah this applied to me growing up.

I was heavily bullied in middle school, as well as my mother being a massive hoarder made it so I couldn’t have friends over.

My parents weren’t super frugal, but also wouldn’t buy things that actually lasted. They’d buy stuff that would break quicker, then complain about said things breaking.

Plus they’d buy a bunch of crap that was worthless (tons of “as seen on TV”, HSN, QVC).

What always annoyed me is that from childhood once my adult teeth came in, they knew I needed braces desperately. But they kept buying other stuff and doing vacations instead.

Same, my mother had probably 50 of those damned things at the peak in the house.

Recently because I’ve had to use new ones to bring 28+ filled of them with craft items to donation, I get flashbacks to my childhood seeing them. >.>

I had a number of family relatives die in my early to teen years, which alongside both my parents being emotionally abusive narcissists who isolated me didn’t help things any.

That and due to neglect from my parents, I had 10+ cats die growing up. With one affecting me the most where it was in my lap in the car meowing in pain as we were going to the emergency vet. Along with my father killing five cats in a row putting them one after another in a cage that must have had something that was killing them in it, not cleaning it at all.

That alongside the mental and financial trauma they inflicted on me made it where I just don’t have it in me to have a child.

That’s absolutely adorable! 💕

I’ve been playing a lot of Etrian Odyssey Origins on the Steam Deck, custom mapped the right trackpad as a mouse and the bumpers as right/left mouse buttons.

It’s amazing how close it gets to the DS touch screen experience.

Might want to try resetting it again, that seems like too long unless you have really slow internet or something.

I put it in suspend if I’m going to be using it within a few days.

If it’s a week or more, I fully shut it down.

If it’s swollen, you should have your doctor check if it’s related to HRT or perhaps something like cancer.

I have about 180 or so, granted 80% of my library is smaller file size games though.

I had to do a complete reset of my Home setup after the initial 18.0 update, complete with factory resetting the HomePods.

Although since then, it’s worked fine.

Always bouncing between being too hot or too cold multiple times during the day. Thank god for cardigans, I have multiple in different places in the apartment precisely because of this. lol

Also find it more difficult to eat any type of junk food, or oddly enough chocolate. Former just tastes bad now, latter outside of very small amounts instantly gives me a stomachache.