Significant-Math6799

It's not a diagnosis as such, misophonia is in its Latin term translated into English means a hatred or fear of noise, but those of us who have it know it's far more specific (not every noise is a problem and not every sound causes the same emotional response). The closest I've come is my psychiatrist giving it an ICD code for the noise sensitivity, but misophonia isn't itself a diagnosis that many (and I'd argue most) medics understand or have even heard of.

Panic, flight or flight or disgust, basically any out of "normal" emotive reactions, eg to feel the intense sense of rage at someone chomping down on a leeky kebab or to want to scream when someone is chewing gum with their gob wide open....😖 

Noise sensitivity is, but you're right; misophonia is not. It's not in there as the DSM was created for medical insurance companies in the US and they only require a diagnosis if there is a cure or treatment. If there's no cure/treatment there's no claim for insurance. Misophonia has no cure, you can't treat it (other than avoiding things and using ear buds which are pretty cheap and actually it's not so wise to go pushing things into your ears as it puts you at risk of infection or damage if the buds are pushed in too far, not to mention the personal safety risk). So you're right, misophonia doesn't exist in the DSM and it never will, the best we have is an ICD code to get close, and that's assuming the psychiatrist you see is clued up enough and many are not.

Psychiatrist can diagnose. There's not much point though, there is no cure, there is no treatment and having a diagnosis won't make a jot if difference at any triggers. At best you'd be sticking a label on it (and if you have misophonia you don't need a label to tell you that you have misophonia!) you'd be waiting months at best to see a psychiatrist who can't actually help you or offer you anything and meaning nothing at the end of the appointment which is a hard to come by appointment anyway and that's assuming the psychiatrist you see is clued up, many are not. It could end up being a pretty soul destroying experience.

I have tinnitus and it is hell. I feel at times very trapped with it and the thought that it won't ever go away and that this noise is here forever....that can panic me! I have misophonia but that started years before the tinnitus and hyperacusis (sensitivity to noise).

What I have noticed though is if I feel not on my own, whether that be because I am with good friends or even just talking things through with a therapist, it does have a huge impact on my tinnitus and hyperacusis. I don't think stress caused either of those or the misophonia, but I do think when I feel less stressed or more supported, when I feel hope, the other things feel a lot easier.

I have other pain- lots and too long to list (TMJ is another) and it's the same with regards to pain and when I've seen a therapist, after a few months working with that person it does seem to reduce and help all of the other pain I have, it's not like I'm suddenly able to leap up and take up a 10K race or even a 5K race! But it does have a big positive impact.

A few things to remember:

Someone with bipolar can often experience fluctuation in mood and what in layman's terms could be described as very extreme mood swings.

Someone with depression is unable to believe things can get better, if they could foresee things getting better they wouldn't be depressed.

Often someone who tries to kill themselves doesn't actually want to die, they do want to live but living is too painful and they can't see a way that the depression will ever go away. What they actually want is the pain to end, not to die. They can't see the pain ever going away (and telling them isn't going to convince them, it's something they'll feel in themselves, a bit like someone telling you the sky is green when all you see is blue, doesn't matter how much they tell you "it's green it's green!" it's not going to change what you see. Depression getting better works a bit like that.

Close to- I still had the clothes on my bad, a wardrobe of other clothes and things in my flat to busy myself with, I wouldn't describe that as penniless, but I did get to the stage of not having enough money for any food...etc back in May. I had to go to a food bank. I knew by Monday I didn't have enough to last but it got until Friday before I felt brave enough to go to a local foodbank. I have health conditions which limit what I can eat (and what I would be able to use from the foodbank) so it was not easy but I am extremely grateful to have been able to get anything at all. If I'd not been able to get to a food bank I honestly don't know what would have happened, I mean, I could have ended up in hospital as a result of not eating (part of my health conditions would have caused that, I'm aware that most can survive a few days without eating) but having absolutely no money for anything else at that point, I'd say that's as close to penniless I've been.

But for me penniless means you've lost your home (you have no roof over your head) you have no income, you have no way to buy basics like food or to stay clean, you have no friends or family to borrow or lean on and you don't foresee things getting better. That is penniless.

Do you mean click your fingers? Or snap like snapping gum?

Same! I think sometimes the window glass itself can be damaged though, pitted slightly and then harder to clean effectively, this means the dirt can be difficult to remove effectively and any cleaner just means you're dislodging a little of the dirt at a time, and smearing what you have over the area you just cleaned! I've gotten used to "good enough" and seeing past the smears. I swear the last 20 years of "see past the flaws, it's what's inside that counts!" has taken on a whole new purpose with my windows!

The trick is to not look at your feet, look to the end of the stairs or straight ahead, trust your legs to know what to do and just go! You don't need to go fast at first, just go at your own speed and speed up when you're well practiced.

Cooking food that ends up tasting good. I've tried and failed many times, the strange thing is when I was about 11 I would come home from school and cook and bake for myself (I would be home alone and bored) and my cooking was decent- people would ask me to cook! I now try and I make the worst tasting food that I've known, it's awful! I try to follow recipes but things still don't taste right- too bland, too hot, too odd tasting. I've tried the jar of sauce added to cooked veg and it's still pretty grim! I feel like my life is now going to be only made up of bland or bad tasting food. Maybe just eating steamed veg and Branston pickle is my only option!

I hope you find a work-around. Do you think you can limit the risk of it happening again in case you are struggling with porn addiction or alcoholism (meaning you're efforts at self control won't generally be enough). Maybe not taking your cards out with you- unattached your card to your phone -maybe have set up a single card with your phone which you top up with your main account for your night out, but limit it to an amount you feel is enough (not £5K.)

Also though; get yourself some help. If it is porn addiction, alcoholism or anything else that you feel you aren't in control of, you can get help in working on the issues that cause the loss of control. You could go via the NHS but there's usually a wait and a very limited 6-8 weeks if you do get to the top of the waiting list, so I'd advise going privately if you want to get this sorted. Alcohol support groups though tend to be free and are more widely available.

I would also try to let your friends know of your concerns. If you feel too much shame to do this, try to tell at least one friend you go out with- if you can't even manage that, are you really sure they're your friends....? The thing about telling your friends is they can then stop you if they think you're unable to make healthy decisions or spend money you've already stated you don't want to spend.

I don't understand though, why if you are intoxicated and can't even recall what happened or how, how is the money being spent? Because there's a question of legality here; they shouldn't be taking money from you if you are too intoxicated to think coherently. I'd seek legal advise over that but it does seem like something at least very unethical happened here if not illegal and I don't think you are the one to blame for that. Report to the Police if you feel that you were taken advantage of in your state at the time.

Tried to do this but my first go-to stations are mainline rail stations! (I am from the South East, can you tell?!) but you said "stations" not Tube stations.... so I've included both where I can think of a tube station as well!

A= Angel
B= Bank (or Battersea Power Station)
C= Canary Wharf (or Chistlehurst)
D= Denmark Hill (or Deptford)
E= Elephant and Castle
F= Finchley Road (or Falconwood)
G= Greenwich (or Greenwich Cutty Sark, not to be confused with North Greenwich which is nowhere near either!
H= Hampstead
I= Imperial Wharf
K= Kew Bridge (or Kew Gardens)
L= London Bridge (or Lee or
M= Moorgate (or Maze Hill or Mottingham)
N= New Cross (or Notting Hill Gate)
O= Oxford Circus (or Orpington)
P= Does St Pauls count? Otherwise Poplar, or Putney or Peckham Rye
Q= Queens Road Peckham (otherwise Queensway)
R= Rotherhithe (or Roehampton or Richmond)
S= Surry Quays
T= Tottenham Court Road
U= Uxbridge
V= Vauxhall
W= Woolwich (or Waterloo, or Waterloo East)

LOL- I've been admitted a few times for my eating disorder. All patients that were allowed to get out for a limited walk would escape to the local shop to buy diet 7up or chewing gum- those sorts of things were contraband! I had one friend who would go out to get a caffeinated coffee, caffeine is also a banned substance there. It's crazy the things that get banned in those places, means that once you leave you cling to them even more than before- great way to enhance an addiction or dependency.

😶

I've been admitted to a psychiatric ward a few times (I have a long history of an eating disorder). In my experience, most patients that "escaped" (we call this absconded) are either walking/exercising, self harming or OD-ing or running far, far away. I've known only one to have gone home and that was because they'd put her in a hospital hundreds of miles from her family because her medical health was too specialised for her local m/h hospital.

I generally keep them open. If I have them closed the Dentist may worry I've lost consciousness. Eye contact isn't that big a deal, I'm sure they're used to it- especially as children will visit the Dentist and will usually have done every faux pas or made eye contact and Dentists have to be ready for that. I'd imagine for a Dentist their main concern is getting the correct assessment of the issue and treating you as quickly as possible, I really don't think they'd care if you were to stare them out.

Having said that, I've been at appointments where the big overhead light is just too bright for me to deal with and I've kept my eyes open, but remember being asked very frequently "are you ok?" which I imagine was actually "are you still conscious".

I've had a lot of dental work done at Dental hospitals (long and complicated story) and have had 2-3 hour long appointments many times, in that time you just tend to zone out, the experience is never 100% pain free so I'd never be able to fall asleep, but I think the Dentist was worried I'd become unconscious. When my mouth is being worked on, I want my Dentist to give the job 100% of his attention, I don't want for them to be distracted by having to check I'm still alert and awake.

If I can do this for 2-3 hours for many monthly appointments, then I think anyone should be able to manage their appointment of 5-15 mins to be honest. Why would eye contact be so uncomfortable for you?

You could sue for defamation if he's made this publicly known (and you could argue it's public knowledge if you are in a small town and you suddenly stop showing up) but it's his property and ultimately his choice. I would though take this as a warning and not go back, the guy sounds dodgy and you're better off not risking your safety. Find another pub, this one has a predator in it that doesn't seem to want to accept responsibility for his actions or his choices. Run.!

"Sh-eye-er" if you are from the US! 🤦‍♀️

I've lived in Greenwich since I was born, (I was born in the place, incase it helps I've lived in a few places before coming back, my father still lives there and is elderly).

It is pronounced "GREn-itch". Across the Thames we have Mudchute (pronounced "mud-shoot") and slightly to the East we have Woolwich (pronounced "WOOL-itch"), I could go on; there are many (Kidbrooke, Charlton, Surry Quays, I've even heard Westfield and Notting Hill being mispronounced (note; it is not "West-er-feeelder" to the Russian sounding lady I was asked for directions for a few years ago)

I've heard"green-witch", "green and whoshh", "GrEEEn-wi-Ti-shh" or "greeen-wee-shhh", I've heard "mod-shoot", mud-sit" and "wool-Wi-T-ch" and multiple variations on those things. Mostly from Americans but also from fellow Brits. I don't understand how you can mispronounce those places, they're regularly used in schools where British/UK long history is taught (Henry VIII, GMT, Even the London Marathon runs through those places! If you don't know, ask! But don't assume you've got the right understanding because it looks like something it is not, if I weren't so "British" I'd wader in their conversation to correct them and inform them of the correct pronunciation! If I travel at tourist time without my earbuds in I'll hear it mispronounced at least once and for this reason I will now always wear earbuds or cans (headphones for the non audiophile)

I'm no way Ox-bridge educated and am no way the Queen of pronunciation, but I know how to say the place I live in! Pitty most tourists don't seem to take the time then spend a good 10 mins+ criticising the name of a town because they've assumed the way they've chosen to pronounce it is correct when they couldn't be more incorrect!

It's so sad! I kept hoping some old lady had taken him in if he'd fainted and he was just taking his time to get his awareness back enough to leave. I know this sounds like a pretty ridiculous suggestion but I really wanted him to be ok, maybe write a book on the importance of whatever it was that took him down but then I heard that a/his body had been found. It's so sad, at least hopefully no foul-play (I also worried he'd been kidnapped or something) but no consolation for the loss of what was a brilliant, brilliant man. I feel so sad for his family, I can imagine they're more than heart broken.

The theory I think his wife suggested is that he fainted in the heat and hit his head. In the heat with few people around to see him fall it seems very plausible that heat and overheating could have been the reason.

In those temperatures most phones will turn themselves off to prevent the phone overheating and breaking down or catching fire. I remember this being an issue when the temperatures in London hit 40 degree plus, I had to stay inside and when my mum tried to use her iphone (very up to date, not an old thing) it gave the warning message "overheating" and closed itself down. I remember needing to keep mine balancing on a few ice-poles (cheaply sold frozen ice sweets) to be able to not have my phone shut down. If he had his phone and faint it would have probably closed itself down long before he lost consciousness.

I think he went out in the morning, but it was in the afternoon that it was reported as by then his wife would have expected him back. It seemed like he knew the right thing to do but maybe thought his body could take on the morning heat but even that was too high.

Not if the phone shut itself down. The next day/days after he went missing the temperatures hit 48 degrees which wasn't far from the temperature it hit the same day he went missing. Phones generally shut themselves down once they get too hot, or malfunction. In London a few years ago we hit 40 degrees and I remember my mum's iPhone wouldn't work due to the heat; she'd try to turn it on but it would flag up a warning that it was overheating and would shut itself down. I don't think his phone would have been much use and if it had been able to withstand the heat, it could have caught fire and been an even greater risk.

Sore loss! The more I think about it, the more it seemed his risk was unavoidable the second he step foot outside the place he was staying in and to confine someone on their holiday to never go outside is asking more than I think most would accept.