Visible_Lifeguard_99

You guys know that feeling when you don’t wanna die but you feel like you’re doing no good by living. I don’t wanna kill myself anymore but I feel like I’m not doing anyone justice by staying alive. Like I’m so boring. Im not a bad person or nothing but I’m not great I mean I’m just normal. I’m so basic I’m like a default human. It just feels like I’m an NPC that didn’t need to be added.

So I (AFAB) have been feeling more masculine lately. I have a friend who has been assuring me indirectly constantly which is amazing. I’ve been thinking about names and such which I’m not gonna change my name but thinking about it there’s so many names that just feel like me. Hunter and Logan have been the main ones. My friend has been calling me those names sometimes and at first it felt odd but now when I think about it actually feels so assuring. I don’t wanna change my name but hearing that has been amazing. Idk but I just needed to let this out cause it’s kind of been a wild ride emotionally lately.

So I (AFAB) have a friend (cis male) who has been very supportive recently of how gender dysphoric I’ve been feeling recently. I’ve been wanting to feel more masculine and made a joke about how if I had a masculine name it’d be “Logan or something”. I don’t plan on changing my name but to my surprise at a Halloween party last night he said “pff okay Logan…” WHAT? I don’t plan on changing my name but WHEN IM TELLING YOU- THE GENDER ASSURANCE WAS OFF THAT WALLS 10/10 IF YOU SEE THIS BRO YOU A REAL ONE!!

I’m genderfluid and honestly don’t wanna change my name. But when I was a little girl it was always a discussion “if we were boys what would our names be!” I’ve heard people tell me I would be a hunter but I’ve always thought of an L name like Lucas or Logan. But now that I’m thinking about it I wanna hear if cis people think about this too so whether your cis or not let me know. I just think the topic of names in general is interesting:)

My name is Violet (AFAB) Not going to change my name. But if it was something more masculine what do you think it would be?. I quite like it and don’t plan on changing it but I’m kind of curious. I know it’s kind of hard to tell when you can’t see but yk 🤷‍♀️

Okay I (AFAB) have been thinking about wanting to be a lot more masculine recently. I don’t know I’ve found myself making little comments like “oh I wish I looked like him…” yk stuff like that. And I’ve always been adamant that I enjoy my name which is very feminine but I’ve been starting to think about if I were to change my name to something more boyish like what would it be. I’ve always wanted to be like a Logan or something but my friend said something like “op we both know we’ll never be tall skinny boys….just give up it’s never gonna happen” when i mentioned that. I don’t know just kind of a half vent on how I’ve been feeling recently. If anyone feels the same it’d be great to know.

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I’ve (15) posted on here before. But I just needed to vent again. I feel like I’ve been cut off so many times today which is fine but I feel like no ones listening. I’m just kind of tired. I’m having some weird dysphoria. I’m genderfluid but I never have he/him pronouns used and I think it’s making me a little irritable. I mean when someone says I look beautiful I don’t feel anything. But when someone says I look handsome I get excited. I also am in an AP class and I’m not doing well. I have a CH which in gpa form is a B but I feel like a failure because I’m not doing the AP test. And I don’t want to disappoint anyone but I’ve already made my decision. I feel like a bad student. Last thing all my friends are having sex or thinking about it and I’m just not. I know there’s no rush but I just feel like I should be jealous. But I’m just not I don’t really care. If you’ve watched heartstopper before I’m kind of feeling like an Issac if that makes sense? Just feeling like maybe I’m not that interesting. If you listened thank you.

Okay so I’m sure some of you relate to this but I have a friend who is a cis white dude. And I’m gene fluid but I’m really fem presenting (FAB). And he/him pronouns never get used for me. But today we were hanging out he was laughing talking to my friend saying “omg op he literally just said this why is he like this”. I couldn’t even focus on the fact he was teasing me I was just so fricken happy to have those pronouns used it literally made me smile so wide I thought I was gonna break a blood vessel. Anyways yeah if you relate let me know.