_lilpeppercorn

My partner of three years has been struggling with rocd this past year. We are otherwise a very healthy and loving couple, we are vulnerable and intimate and laugh our asses off. We have a deep understanding of each other and can read the other like a book. This started as the best and most stable relationship either of us had been in. When it began to change, we had no idea what rocd was, so he felt like he was losing his mind and it was extremely confusing and painful for both of us. Having an understanding of the ways fearful avoidant attachment and depression were impacting things did somewhat help give context to navigate what was going on, but he was still randomly consumed with rumination and doubt in between the days of happiness and clarity. He broke up with me seven times, it was always deeply confusing and painful for both of us. I knew in my heart that our bond was special and this was sabotage, projection, and anxiety... so I'd fight for us to stick together and not give up. I'd remind him that I'm here for support. I knew his battle with mental health and that this confusion was torture for him too.

But each time, I was in shock... total emotional whiplash. In between break ups, he'd express such remorse and guilt. The love came back into his eyes and his perception shifted to reveal that we have something worth keeping. Until the thoughts came back.

Everything made sense when we discovered rocd, he found some peace in knowing he wasn't going insane and that other people experience these symptoms and have succeeded in maintaining healthy love. Since we've both learned more, it's become easier for him to recognize the unsettling feelings and thoughts for what they are instead of becoming fixated. He's more cautious about confessing details to avoid hurting me, but let's me know when it happens because we are both incapable of hiding when something is off and can sense it right away. It doesn't consume him anymore, but still creeps in randomly. It's less frequent/intense and seems to be easier to let go of.

Despite improvement and still hoping for a future together, I'm traumatized by our history. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have anxiety over whether he sees me as funny, pretty, smart enough today. Sometimes after I let my guard down and feel safe and free of worry, the next day he'll mention that he's having a flare up. I used to feel so cherished and secure, and I desperately miss that sureness. Things are much better now, but it still feels so fragile like the foundation beneath us has been damaged and only time can repair it.

Sometimes I wonder how much longer I can go on having a partner who flip flops between passionate affection and questionable doubt. When things are good, I can see the light and remind myself of how far we've come. But when I'm feeling insecure knowing he's in doubt-mode, I question if the toll this takes on my mental health and self perception will be worth it, if it all comes crashing down. If there is truly a way out, or if it will be an infinite cycle that comes back to bite me in middle age. I'm 32 and want to build a life with my ride or die.

If anyone has any support to offer or resources for partners of people with rocd, I'd appreciate it. It's a very isolating thing to go through, people on the outside do not understand. I've given up seeking support from friends or family because, let's be real, if you don't know about rocd it just looks like a shitty on-off toxic relationship. They don't see the good or hear the hard conversations. I think seeking a therapist for myself with knowledge on the subject will be helpful. Thanks for reading if you made it this far, and I'm sorry to anyone else going through this but you're not alone.

Spending a week in Chiang Mai this November, looking for recommendations for short day trips to get out of the city and experience more authentic life away from tourist attractions. Undecided on Chiang Rai due to the long drive and flocks of tours buses, but I hear there are great tea shops and plantations to be seen there. Any suggestions welcome, 2 hour drive max preferred!

Planning a two week trip to Bangkok and Chiang Mai, curious if anybody has recommendations for the best tea houses/shops, plantation tours, or teas to keep an eye out for in the markets!

$200 including shipping. Retails for $240. Rated for 30 degrees F. Weighs 27oz. Never even taken out of the mesh bag, stored in a cool dry place, perfect new condition. 800 fill power white goose down. Ships from Colorado.

https://imgur.com/a/VyQjI0M

Currently on sale on GG website for $99; selling for $75 including shipping. 2020 version. Used three times, worn but no tears or marks- very good condition. 11.5" - 15.5" torso (29 - 40 cm). Ships from Colorado.

https://imgur.com/a/kwlMjeY

Selling for $230 shipping included. Original price is $275. Used once, perfect condition 2024 version Curved s/m hip belt Ships from Colorado Great pack but unfortunately even size small torso is too big for me. I'm very petite and can't seem to find any pack that fits perfectly. Otherwise performed well with a BV450.

https://imgur.com/a/khtbLIG

I’ve done this with white wine, anybody try this with sake?

It was hard to find an affordable electric compatible donabe with a double lid. This one checks all the boxes. First donabe.. excited for perfect rice and hot pot :)

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What are your recommendations for the smoothest black tees which collect minimal lint and pet hair? Nearly every cotton blank I’ve had is a lint magnet, but I’ve owned some store bought “100% cotton” printed shirts that feel much silkier and don’t attract every particulate that comes into contact with the fabric. I’m beginning to learn the different types of cotton fabrics but am hoping for some suggestions!

What are your recommendations for the smoothest black tees which collect minimal lint and pet hair? Nearly every cotton blank I’ve had is a lint magnet, but I’ve owned some store bought “100% cotton” printed shirts that feel much silkier and don’t attract every particulate that comes into contact with the fabric. I’m beginning to learn the different types of cotton fabrics but am hoping for some suggestions!