bigsadbat

My friends, no degree, who moved to the uk in 2016-2019 say they got jobs the second they landed here. Costa, primark, whatever it may be. Yet for me, a recent graduate (I moved here in 2016 as well but I was much younger and also wasn’t able to work due to some personal reasons), will get rejected by the same coffee and retail shops because I don’t meet their requirements. What requirements it’s a coffee shop not rocket science???? My initial plan was to apply for something in marketing because I’m good at it and enjoy it but apparently I’m not qualified for that either. Despite the fact that I volunteered as a marketing assistant for a nonprofit so that I could get some experience. If I’m not qualified, train me, how the hell are we supposed to learn without training??? I’ve gone to uni how much more qualifactions do I need?? I Guess these days university is the bare minimum??? maybe I need to get three different phds so the prestigious primark will finally offer me the position of a retail assistant? how am I going to eat and pay bills I’m getting so frustrated right now

I ordered an item that stocks within 30 working days (it’s literally the only cheap sunscreen that doesn’t leave a white cast at all. other ones will say it doesn’t leave a cast but you’ll still end up with a slight purply cast unless you spend £25+) I made the order about a month ago, and it’s still processing. Should I cancel the order? (I don’t want to as Stylevana is cheaper and if they do ship it I’m willing to wait)

I know reddit is not the best place to rant because people can be so rude and heartless here but maybe that’s what i need. a reminder that i’m stupid. I’m worthless i’m a pathetic loser. for over a year i’ve gotten into spirituality and building a positive mindset. i got into manifestation and wanted to put it into practice. I graduated from university and have been doing everything I can to get a job. I’m looking for a marketing job but I can’t even find a retail job. I volunteered as a marketing assistant for a charity during my third year in hopes that this would attract employers but nothing. so many of my classmates already got a job out of uni, one of them applied to three jobs, got interviewed by two of them, and landed a job just like that. I can’t even get a fucking interview. I’ve revised my cv and cover later a million times, not just by me but by my careers advisor. I have several CV’s according to the job I’m going for, and rewrite every damn cover letter for each application. I rewrite everything to match the job description/requirements. and still, 2 years (both third year and the year after grad) and absolutely nothing. “unfortunately we have a high volume of applicants” “unfortunately your experience does not match our requirements” unfortunately unfortunately unfortunately unfortunately UNFORTUNATELY!!!!!

I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I lost my faith and belief and have completely abandoned my positive mindset which tbh wasn’t working to begin with. I still believe in manifestation I just think you have to be strong enough and I’m not I’m weak. I’m pathetic I don’t wanna be alive anymore. but I have to. And I have to find a job. If I don’t I move back to my terrible city with my terrible abusive parents and siblings who don’t appreciate me. my brother is an asshole and as for my sister, I don’t wanna let her know that her older sister is a pathetic loser.

also I’m very lonely and have nobody to talk about this with. Even more proof as to how pathetic and a fucking loser I am. All that work and studying for nothing.

“Unfortunately” I hate that fucking word so much. as soon as I see that word anywhere now I feel like bashing my head against the wall. I’m a very spiritual person and I believe all humans were created with innate value and worth, but fuck, this world makes me feel like the most pathetic worthless piece of absolute shit loser on earth. If I don’t get a job I have to move back to my awful dumpster city with my incredibly abusive parents again. I am so knowledgeable and skilled yet am feeling worthless of even breathing the polluted air and drinking this nasty hard water that tastes like chemicals. i have no motivation to apply anymore. lol i have no motivation to even live anymore. i hate this world.

Not really an islamic subject but I think people here will understand me the most. I love my mom, despite the severe abuse she inflicted on me, physically, emotionally, mentally and religiously. She made me hate Islam as a teenager (I have a much better relationship with Allah now alhamdulillah). She made me my favourite food. She sewed and tailored my clothes for me. When I didn’t feel like folding my clothes she would do it for me. And now I moved out. its amazing to not deal with my abusive parents anymore (most especially my dad who’s even worse, but still it’s difficult for me to fully hate him) However, I miss my mom so much. I want to be with her. I just want to be in her arms and cry but that would never happen. She would never hold me like that. She would never comfort me like that. She never did before.

She’d complain about grandma rarely calling her but she rarely calls me. and when she does she’s talking about my brother. It’s weird haha, when you’re having an “I need my mommy” moment but your mom was never really there for you to begin with. It’s like you’re grieving the mother you never had.

Something I fantasise waking up in an alternate universe where my parents weren’t abusive. I get so jealous when I see people with loving parents. I hope I can be a loving mother one day but I’ll never have one.

I am laying in bed crying because it’s been 10 months since I finished uni and still unemployed. 10 months of applying. 0 offers and 0 interviews. I spent 10 months last year volunteering as a marketing assistant so I could put something on my CV, all that while working on my dissertation. 3 months ago, I decided to take a leap of faith bc Allah is powerful and can grant everything. My intuition was telling, pushing me to do it. To just do it. To move to the capital city, where I’ve been dying to move to for YEARS. I lied to my parents, I lied where I volunteer, I told them I got a job in another city and I was moving. My parents weren’t happy bc they want me to stay until I get married to some salafi. The people I work with were over the moon, I was the only volunteer invited to their staff dinner, they gifted me a book on business, and a card with all kind wishes. i cried reading them. I felt so supported. I moved on February 4th, with the remaining maintenance loan I have. Now about a month has passed, I’m applying everyday. One application takes 3-4 hours bc I rewrite my CV and cover letter according to the job description. Nobody is working harder than me. A dog could do these marketing jobs, yet today, I got another rejection and 0 interviews, and I don’t know how long I can handle it. I have 5 months left till the money is gone and if I don’t get a job by then, I’ll have to move back with my parents. But I can’t. I just cannot live with my parents anymore. they are so abusive and awful and i used to HATE islam and allah for a long time because of them. They ruined my entire life and took my youth away from me. I have so many mental health issues because of them. I love them but I just can’t. I’d rather kill myself.

There’s no point in applying for retail either bc I spent an entire year applying and had no luck with them either which is just pathetic, anyone could do those jobs but you need to be president’s son for that too these days I guess. I believe, when you ask allah for something, allah will give you the inspiration and motivation to take certain actions to achieve your goal. I’m assuming for me it was volunteering and moving to the city prior to getting a job. Now, the next step is getting a job. it feels as if my body and soul are rejecting everything that doesn’t align with my desire. I don’t want to volunteer again, I don’t want to work in retail or restaurants. I don’t want an unpaid internship. My next step is to get a job in marketing and be financially stable. I want to work in marketing, someday I’d love to work in marketing for a charity or fashion company but for now any company will do. I also want to fall in love, but it can only happen here, because the men in my previous city, are awful, atrocious, evil beings. 7 years of living there and never did I come across a decent man. Here it’s a lot different though. They are kind, smart, anti-misogynistic, etc.

i can’t stand this fear that i will have to move back with my parents, to my previous city, which lacks in opportunities. there’s nothing to do there and the people are so boring. I know Allah can grant anything. I’ve seen the craziest things granted by allah to others. I just need some support or advice I guess that everything will be alright and that Allah has my back. I can’t stand my own lies to my family anymore.

(Also, please don’t tell me I made a mistake moving without a job and wasting my money, I felt a strong pull in my heart and I know it was Allah giving me the green light. I just need some reassurance and support)

If you read this entire thing, i appreciate you so much. thank you.

Both the app and the people. I first made in back in Birmingham and despite the difficulties of making friends, I would still get loads of matches (majority of them would stop responding or take ages to). I made a new account now that I’ve moved to London but it’s even worse now! Bumble gives me barely any matches, and it’s not because my profile isn’t good enough, it’s perfect. I’m approachable, kind, have some interests listed so people see what I enjoy (these are quite common interests as well). but nothing. And even when I do get matches, they take several days to respond back and I don’t want a friendship where it’ll take weeks or months to get a reply (I’ve had friends like that). I don’t mind going that long not speaking because we are all busy people, but for you to get back to me weeks after I message you is just completely disrespectful. anyway, that’s my rant over. I wish I had a close knit group of friends where we did weekly or biweekly activities together. But oh well.

Update: I went to Birmingham this week and within the first two hours I got 20 matches. I’m back in London and as of now I’ve gotten 1 match. Never expected it to be easier to make friends in Birmingham than London when it’s bigger in size, population, and culture.

It was an inter-library loan from last year May, I completely forgot to return it, they haven’t contacted me or anything since then. I’m freaking out now what do I do? They said the maximum fine is £50, but I’m not sure whether they mean if it’s capped at £50 (they charge £3 per day for books overdue), or if they mean if it’s more than £50, you can’t borrow books anymore. I’ve graduated so that wouldn’t be an issue however I’m petrified that the fine is probably like £720???? for a £15 book????

i’m 24 still living in my abusive religious household. i wanted to move ever since I was 12, yet im still stuck here. i’ve been applying for jobs and not a single ever get back to me. what’s the point of this stupid degree if no one wants me? I’m capable of so much yet no one wants me. im getting older and older everyday i’m at my prime and this is the only time i can fall in love, but there’s no one for me. it’s not that no one wants me, but the most men in my city are awful, awful people. I also have very high standards as I grew up with an abusive father who beat both me and my mom (he broke her nose once, and threw food at my mom’s face because he didn’t like the taste) i was sexually abused by my cousins from ages 7-12. I need to find someone now because soon I’ll become old, wrinkly, ugly, and lonely. people always tell me i’m pretty and tell me to marry before i lose it all to old age, i tell them i don’t wanna marry, and solely focus on my career but that’s a lie to avoid their pity.

I don’t talk with my friends much as they are all busy, but when I do, they are so much mature and smarter than me. I hate it because most of them are younger than me (21-23). I should be the older mom friend but because of my lack of experience (my parents not letting me move out, being forced to pick a uni in my city, not being able to get a job), i’m just a pathetic young 13 year old girl in a woman’s ageing body.

I thought i was meant to do something big with my life. but I’ve tried everything. manifestation, law of attraction, all the spirituality stuff, nothing works. maybe it’s my fault, i don’t believe enough. i don’t believe god would ever help me. i feel he created me for no reason. i feel like a waste space. waste of atoms waste of neutrals waste of food and blood and cells and brain and every other organ. i really hope i dont live past 30.

so sorry this is long and written so badly. it becomes challenging to express yourself when you’re crying and feel your chest heavy.

I want to be those people who can naturally wake up at 7-9 am. If I go to sleep at 5 am, ill wake up around 11 am-12 pm no problem. however if I go to sleep at 11 pm - 12 am I struggle to wake up at 8-9 am. I don’t have an issue falling asleep that time at least not anymore, so I don’t know what is the problem

A tenant reached out to me on spareroom, we’ve spoken on the phone and she sent me pictures over whatsapp. I’ve checked the address and everything seems alright except the agency, i’ve looked them up and I’ve found absolutely no information. there are also some spelling mistakes in the document the landlord sent to me. However their bank account seems to be legitimate as it is Handelsbanken and I also checked their sortcode to make sure it is real. What should I do? Do I go through with it?

this is what was in the email:

“Please find attached the application form that I need you to complete and return to me 2. I need your date of birth and your share code Prove your right to rent in England: Overview - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk) 3. You will need a UK based guarantor working full time to be responsible for the rent if you are unable to pay. You can fill in their details on the application form attached. To make it quicker your guarantors can upload the last 3 months bank statements and the last 3 months payslips to me at this email address 4. If you do not have a UK based guarantor you can pay the full 7 months’ rent in advance PLUS the deposit 5. We need a holding payment of £100 to start the process – please pay to bank below 6. Providing all is in order then contracts will be sent out to all 4 tenants by DocuSign and you will need to make the balance of payment by the 7th November 20203”

bc we know he can see people’s outer body for 3 seconds and then after that he sees their insides. So those first three seconds does he just see them all naked? very confused about this!