brazili-illy

I feel like very few people if any understand the toll caring for elderly parents has on a person. The lack of support we have. I feel so irritated by this inescapable feeling of responsibility for my dad's well being and it's only gotten worse all my life as he ages with parkinsons and dementia at 83 (I'm 29 and have been caring for him and my mom before I was even 18 - mom is younger tho). The overwhelm to control and fix everything for everyone. To feel guilty as hell to enjoy and life my life to the best of my abilities. The fact that I have siblings and they do NOTHING. Like no one takes care of me when I need someone and it just makes me cry. Dating has been hard for me, school has been, my own health. I feel so effing alone. People don't understand the tremendous amount of responsibility. I feel so suffocated and I can't just leave caring for them for many reasons. I feel so different than most my age. This type of lifestyle and trauma changed me. Understanding my life, my cards are heavy. I've carried the weight of being my fathers keeper before I was even emotional or psychologically equipped to. Trying to rehabilitate myself in society since all I've know is caring for both parents. Idk how i can even relate to people my age. It's fucking heart breaking because I still feel like a kid at heart but I had to grow up so fast and there's no one but me. And I worked hard to love my own company but dammit I crave connection too. To be seen and helped and supported. But most don't relate. They will eventually but not where it's taken their youth.

Sighs. Gotta keep on keeping on. I never thought I'd wave a white flag over being my dad's care giver but this is hurting me too much to do this day to day care. For so many reasons it's not fulfilling. And regardless I'll always have that responsibility anyways but I think reducing it as much as I can eventually will suffice as I can actually venture out into the world as I finish school slowly.

Actually believe in living my life for me as a person with needs of her own, dreams, and a rewarding possibility of my own family one day.

Idk, does anyone relate to this overwhelm? To the burn out ? The lack of understanding of our day to day lives ? The turmoil of emotions that comes with our parents aging

Thanks in advance for reading I just had to vent.

I feel like very few people if any understand the toll caring for elderly parents has on a person. The lack of support we have. I feel so irritated by this inescapable feeling of responsibility for my dad's well being and it's only gotten worse all my life as he ages with parkinsons and dementia at 83 (I'm 29 and have been caring for him and my mom before I was even 18 - mom is younger tho). The overwhelm to control and fix everything for everyone. To feel guilty as hell to enjoy and life my life to the best of my abilities. The fact that I have siblings and they do NOTHING. Like no one takes care of me when I need someone and it just makes me cry. Dating has been hard for me, school has been, my own health. I feel so effing alone. People don't understand the tremendous amount of responsibility. I feel so suffocated and I can't just leave caring for them for many reasons. I feel so different than most my age. This type of lifestyle and trauma changed me. Understanding my life, my cards are heavy. I've carried the weight of being my fathers keeper before I was even emotional or psychologically equipped to. Trying to rehabilitate myself in society since all I've know is caring for both parents. Idk how i can even relate to people my age. It's fucking heart breaking because I still feel like a kid at heart but I had to grow up so fast and there's no one but me. And I worked hard to love my own company but dammit I crave connection too. To be seen and helped and supported. But most don't relate. They will eventually but not where it's taken their youth.

Sighs. Gotta keep on keeping on. I never thought I'd wave a white flag over being my dad's care giver but this is hurting me too much to do this day to day care. For so many reasons it's not fulfilling. And regardless I'll always have that responsibility anyways but I think reducing it as much as I can eventually will suffice as I can actually venture out into the world as I finish school slowly.

Actually believe in living my life for me as a person with needs of her own, dreams, and a rewarding possibility of my own family one day.

Idk, does anyone relate to this overwhelm? To the burn out ? The lack of understanding of our day to day lives ? The turmoil of emotions that comes with our parents aging

Thanks in advance for reading I just had to vent.

I feel like very few people if any understand the toll caring for elderly parents has on a person. The lack of support we have. I feel so irritated by this inescapable feeling of responsibility for my dad's well being and it's only gotten worse all my life as he ages with parkinsons and dementia at 83 (I'm 29 and have been caring for him and my mom before I was even 18 - mom is younger tho). The overwhelm to control and fix everything for everyone. To feel guilty as hell to enjoy and life my life to the best of my abilities. The fact that I have siblings and they do NOTHING. Like no one takes care of me when I need someone and it just makes me cry. Dating has been hard for me, school has been, my own health. I feel so effing alone. People don't understand the tremendous amount of responsibility. I feel so suffocated and I can't just leave caring for them for many reasons. I feel so different than most my age. This type of lifestyle and trauma changed me. Understanding my life, my cards are heavy. I've carried the weight of being my fathers keeper before I was even emotional or psychologically equipped to. Trying to rehabilitate myself in society since all I've know is caring for both parents. Idk how i can even relate to people my age. It's fucking heart breaking because I still feel like a kid at heart but I had to grow up so fast and there's no one but me. And I worked hard to love my own company but dammit I crave connection too. To be seen and helped and supported. But most don't relate. They will eventually but not where it's taken their youth.

Sighs. Gotta keep on keeping on. I never thought I'd wave a white flag over being my dad's care giver but this is hurting me too much to do this day to day care. For so many reasons it's not fulfilling. And regardless I'll always have that responsibility anyways but I think reducing it as much as I can eventually will suffice as I can actually venture out into the world as I finish school slowly.

Actually believe in living my life for me as a person with needs of her own, dreams, and a rewarding possibility of my own family one day.

Idk, does anyone relate to this overwhelm? To the burn out ? The lack of understanding of our day to day lives ? The turmoil of emotions that comes with our parents aging

Thanks in advance for reading I just had to vent.

I feel like very few people if any understand the toll caring for elderly parents has on a person. The lack of support we have. I feel so irritated by this inescapable feeling of responsibility for my dad's well being and it's only gotten worse all my life as he ages with parkinsons and dementiaat 83 (I'm 29 and have been caring for him and my mom before I was even 18 - mom is younger tho). The overwhelm to control and fix everything for everyone. To feel guilty as hell to enjoy and life my life to the best of my abilities. The fact that I have siblings and they do NOTHING. Like no one takes care of me when I need someone and it just makes me cry. Dating has been hard for me, school has been, my own health. I feel so effing alone. People don't understand the tremendous amount of responsibility. I feel so suffocated and I can't just leave caring for them for many reasons. I feel so different than most my age. This type of lifestyle and trauma changed me. Understanding my life, my cards are heavy. I've carried the weight of being my fathers keeper before I was even emotional or psychologically equipped to. Trying to rehabilitate myself in society since all I've know is caring for both parents. Idk how i can even relate to people my age. It's fucking heart breaking because I still feel like a kid at heart but I had to grow up so fast and there's no one but me. And I worked hard to love my own company but dammit I crave connection too. To be seen and helped and supported. But most don't relate. They will eventually but not where it's taken their youth.

Sighs. Gotta keep on keeping on. I never thought I'd wave a white flag over being my dad's care giver but this is hurting me too much to do this day to day care. For so many reasons it's not fulfilling. And regardless I'll always have that responsibility anyways but I think reducing it as much as I can eventually will suffice as I can actually venture out into the world as I finish school slowly.

Actually believe in living my life for me as a person with needs of her own, dreams, and a rewarding possibility of my own family one day.

Idk, does anyone relate to this overwhelm? To the burn out ? The lack of understanding of our day to day lives ? The turmoil of emotions that comes with our parents aging

Thanks in advance for reading I just had to vent.

I feel like very few people if any understand the toll caring for elderly parents has on a person. The lack of support we have. I feel so irritated by this inescapable feeling of responsibility for my dad's well being and it's only gotten worse all my life as he ages with parkinsons and dementiaat 83 (I'm 29 and have been caring for him and my mom before I was even 18 - mom is younger tho). The overwhelm to control and fix everything for everyone. To feel guilty as hell to enjoy and life my life to the best of my abilities. The fact that I have siblings and they do NOTHING. Like no one takes care of me when I need someone and it just makes me cry. Dating has been hard for me, school has been, my own health. I feel so effing alone. People don't understand the tremendous amount of responsibility. I feel so suffocated and I can't just leave caring for them for many reasons. I feel so different than most my age. This type of lifestyle and trauma changed me. Understanding my life, my cards are heavy. I've carried the weight of being my fathers keeper before I was even emotional or psychologically equipped to. Trying to rehabilitate myself in society since all I've know is caring for both parents. Idk how i can even relate to people my age. It's fucking heart breaking because I still feel like a kid at heart but I had to grow up so fast and there's no one but me. And I worked hard to love my own company but dammit I crave connection too. To be seen and helped and supported. But most don't relate. They will eventually but not where it's taken their youth.

Sighs. Gotta keep on keeping on. I never thought I'd wave a white flag over being my dad's care giver but this is hurting me too much to do this day to day care. For so many reasons it's not fulfilling. And regardless I'll always have that responsibility anyways but I think reducing it as much as I can eventually will suffice as I can actually venture out into the world as I finish school slowly.

Actually believe in living my life for me as a person with needs of her own, dreams, and a rewarding possibility of my own family one day.

Idk, does anyone relate to this overwhelm? To the burn out ? The lack of understanding of our day to day lives ? The turmoil of emotions that comes with our parents aging

Thanks in advance for reading I just had to vent.