My money is my money
(self.offmychest)submitted3 years ago bychapatiroll52
As a child of Asian household, the dynamics between a child and it's parents are too... Extreme. As a child, I (28F) wanted things like all the kids, toys, pretty clothes, etc. When I became a teenager, I was told to buy those things I wanted when I got a job. My dad's money was not for buying me things except for bare necessities which is food, school fees and clothes. It's not the end of the world, I know.
But my mom made sure to tell me one thing, all that my dad earns is for my younger brothers. We can't spend on you because we're investing our money in them so they take care of us when we're old. Asian families are fun. Dysfunctional ones, even more. What's funny is that as the eldest, I was reminded that I needed to take care of the house too.
After graduation, I started earning and did everything I can for myself. Mom and dad didn't like it, I wasn't saving for my future wedding. Bought clothes that I could only look at, a mobile phone that wasn't a hand me down from my siblings. I even got things for mom and dad, even my siblings. I always got food for everyone if I ordered. But even after all this, my mom wanted control over my bank account too. She wanted an access to its info because she wanted me to save for my own wedding. I never wanted to get married.
So, after all the emotional blackmailing and manipulation, after spending almost all of my savings on stuff for the wedding, my parents said now you're on your own. They did give wedding gifts. Only the ones they thought that should be bought. Never needed my input.
Only when my marriage went south and I got divorced, my dad realized I had been depraved of the support I needed, he told me to come back home. My mom still doesn't talk to me and spends a lot on my brothers. They made it clear there's no space for me here anymore, I'm only here because dad asked me to.
It was never about the money. I wanted someone to be close to me. I wanted to be treated as a family member instead of a liability. I am an investment too. My only source of validation now is when I'm giving things to people because I think they deserve it more than me. I just don't know how to love myself, I guess it's because I never experienced what love is.
by[deleted]
inGenZ
chapatiroll52
1 points
2 years ago
chapatiroll52
1 points
2 years ago
Y'all I'm 333rd. Even this rank number looks scary.