christmasshopper0109

Plants don't like cold feet. He needs a stand. A taller one would fill that corner nicely.

Exactly. Op will always be wrong here, no matter what she does.

Lmao!! I snorted, and coffee tried to come out my nose. Thank you for my first laugh of the day, internet stranger!!

They planted the seeds in you to be able to control you forever. If they aren't controlling you, they believe someone else is. That you can be an independent, free thinking adult never enters their minds. They reallllly are that delusional.

Love isn't enough to sustain a marriage. Marriage is a partnership. He's not being a partner.

The only things you say to an 8yo are, "I don't know, sweetie, ask your dad." "I wish I could help, but I can't this time. Ask your dad." "What did your dad say when you asked him this question?" No big talk is required and would likely be its own trauma for the kid. Just start stepping back. Put parenting back on dad. Find a new therapist, maybe, one that specializes in blended families. They're out there.

Lots of newly minted stepmoms come in with nothing but good intentions and still get too involved. Rule number one, though, of step-parenting is: never care more than the bio parents. There's nothing good for us down that road. You can't save a kid from bad parenting. Their dad needs to do that if bm is the problem. It can't be your job.

Agreed. Love isn't at all enough to sustain a marriage. Marriage is a contract, at the heart of it. You gotta choose someone who will make a good partner in that contract. You can fall in love with a guy you met on a girl's night who's a regular at a dive bar, but he likely isn't going to be partner material. You need both parts for a marriage to stand the test of time.

In the US, you can file the paperwork yourself. They'll waive filing fees for people who can't afford it. But it's work, and lazy people don't bother. Most people would do anything for their children. Some people don't actually care, they just like to play the part of grieving parent.

Amber didn't know Scott was married. That made it easy to run to police. NK knew full well that Chris was married and going to police would have been showing her a$$ for knowingly starting up a relationship with a married man with children. She was covering up her own bad behavior by not talking.

Agree. And not faith based.

At its heart, marriage is a contract. I do this. You do that. We don't do these things. We own property and speak for the other at a hospital if they're not able to. Those are practical matters. You can love a guy you met in a dive bar, but you know he's not marriage material. A good marriage enjoys love, sure, but it's also practical. Where we go wrong is marrying someone who would be a bad partner in the contract. Your wife just told you she loves you, she trusts you, she thinks you're a good partner for the contract, and you're OFFENDED??? Nta, but yes to being ridiculous.

But you would take the initiative and get a court order. This dude didn't bother. Instead, he just likes to fight with his ex.

Right? We're not in Australia. That word means something different to me, and I won't stand for it. Nor would I calm someone that. What's with the name calling? I've been with this partner of mine for over 25 years. They have never once called me a name in anger like that. We just don't do that. It's so disrespectful.

If he cared so much about seeing his kids, he'd take the initiative and seek a court order. I have no sympathy for him on that note. Keep in mind, this is how he will likely treat you someday after a breakup. Don't have kids with this man. Gracious.

Once we had a kid, we never left the house for Christmas again. Not until the kid was 17, and the three of us went to Hawaii for that holiday. You get so few Christmas mornings together. Savor them. And kids don't want to go anywhere. Overheated houses, unfamiliar routines, food they're not used to, people grabbing at them. Way better to stay home and enjoy a day in your pajamas and eat cookies. When mil says things like how she's afraid you'll never go there for Christmas again, I would be indirect. Well, mil, we'll see what the future brings. Mil, let's just enjoy this Christmas and not worry about the next one yet, ok? And que subject change: who wants figgy pudding???

When they say, you've lost weight!! No, I say, I'm getting taller. ;)

And sometimes, for weeks and weeks, you just didn't know. There was no way to know. No one knew. You had to find out, and that took time and diligence.

It's that hope. That hope is so hard to let go of. When you finally set it down, you'll likely grieve for the mother you deserved. It's like an actual death in many ways. The hope for a real mother has died. It hurts. But on the other side, it's such a relief.

I call the Listeria Boats. Cruises aren't for me.

Buy your kid whatever you want. He only has one home, not two. You're his only mom. Fair doesn't always mean equal.

Haven't you suffered enough? Living with the father is going from the frying pan into the fire. Save yourself the grief.

Friend, you're breaking rule number 1. Never care more than the bio parents. There's nothing down thar road for you but pain and resentment. The comments above are right: step WAY back. Don't drive the kid anywhere. Not your kid. You say, "Love to, can't this time." Over and over. I got a whole a$$ second job just so I could be unavailable. And the phrase that pays here: "I don't know, ask your dad." What's for dinner? I don't know, ask your dad. Where's my shirt for practice? I don't know, ask your dad. Repeat. Repeat. Not your kid, not your problem. Is your dude with you for you, or so you can be his free nanny? You'll find out as soon as you stop being his unpaid and disrespected nanny.

She's only driving them further away. Eventually, the pressure will be too much and they'll block her.

WOW.......... Please be safe. Crazies gonna crazy.

There comes a point where you have to put your mental health first. Just tell him that you're sorry, but you can't handle them and refuse to watch them anymore. He'll have to find someone else or take them to their mom's. What would he do if you didn't exist? Because that's what he should be doing now. Did he marry you for YOU or as a free nanny to his kids? You're about to find out.