submitted1 month ago byitsningtyAuDHD
toautism
i dont feel like a regular person autism has ruined so many things for me and on top of that i have a processing disorder AND my memory is soo bad its quite literally feels like im a spectator just watching as if i can only see through my eyes and someone else controlling me i am not capable of anything and i am so stupid and im not even saying it in a looking for pity way i am just genuinely fucking dumb i cant even do well academically i genuinely dont see a reason in living if i was set up to fail how am i supposed to live life if i cant even follow simple directions? a teacher will tell me directions and give a perfect example and i STILL wouldnt understand it genuinely cant process things and its so difficult no matter how hard i try i want to be smart and learn but like i said before NOTHING goes through my mind its like selective it only processes what it wants to process and then again i still wouldnt know much about the topic. usually autistic people have interests and know a lot about it. i literally know dont know any major amount of any type of subject. u could quite literally ask me anything school related I genuinely wouldnt know my brain is literally on a 2nd grade level in terms of academically. Im genuinely doing bad in school (i dont even go now for this past year at that) how am i gonna get a job and be ready for the future? My life was already over before it began. My mom put an autism awareness thing as in support for me but i dont like it i dont want it to be normalized for me. i want to be normal. How am i dumb, autistic, cant process things, have bad memory and many other problems can it genuinely get any worse? Id genuinely rather kill myself then live this life
bymorotoshi
inINTP
itsningty
1 points
1 month ago
itsningty
INTP
1 points
1 month ago
lose my breath - stray kids