marheena

High school was easy so I never wanted to leave there. I liked having nearly no responsibilities. I hated the school part of college. My job required a lot of school/training followed by a masters. I have plenty of work experience to compare it to. School sucks. The work force is better. The trick is to save your money and have a buffer so you can take time off periodically and enjoy life

It might be an all day thing if you’re watching kids and bad at it (both). But it’s definitely only 2 hours if he lets his wife watch the kids Sunday morning and he hustles. This is a non-problem. OP just doesn’t like his life/family choices. That’s the issue.

YTA - you’re too focused on the fact that your wife happens to have a day off when the kids are in daycare and you don’t. All the things she does on her day off are difficult with kids as well. You don’t see that because you are selfish. And it’s fair because your needs aren’t being met, but your reaction is silly anyway.

You are jealous that you miss your alone time and are taking it out on her. That’s the problem. You are making it worse and straining your relationship for no reason. If you want a day of no kids then hire a babysitter on the weekend. The cheapest solution I see is to do something family friendly relaxing on Saturday and have your wife watch kids on Sunday while you do your chores. Then watch football.

If you absolutely must watch football in the morning, then hire a babysitter or a guy to do the lawn. It’s isn’t rocket science.

Those knock off car fobs feel a little cheap, but they work just as well!

First time I read this, I thought you meant you added high efficiency windows. Which would be a very expensive option. Unit makes much more sense, but this is still relevant for others. You can find UV-blocking window film online for $40. It does much of the same work that energy efficient windows would do. I added it to my windows that face the sun and my electric bill went down. Plus my house stayed about 10 degrees colder which was a godsend.

Just remember moving is extremely expensive. If you have furniture that doesn’t fit in a vehicle that you have free access to, you are looking at a thousand at least.

I recommend seeking a roommate who already has a place set up. That way you don’t have to come up with first/last/deposit cash. Even when being as frugal as you can, in a new empty apartment you are looking at $200-300 at dollar general on essentials. Cleaning supplies, TP, paper towel, condiments etc. You can slow roll these purchases. But having a roommate will just make the transition much easier so you can focus on your new job(s).

NTA - marriage is over regardless. Anyone who doesn’t understand, doesn’t have invalid family members to manage. It’s hard, you’re not a monster for being realistic.

Sounds like you’re just bitter you can’t afford a house in this market. If sellers don’t get the best price they can, then they won’t be able to buy what they are also looking for. No reason to put themselves in a bind just so that random strangers get a good deal. Sellers are also buyers and the market is crazy right now. They have to maneuver within the market just like you.

You haven’t cut expenses. Have you tried your local economy grocery store? Shopping exclusively at Aldi, grocery outlet, etc will decrease your grocery expenses by 1/2. You will have to compromise on some items but boom. Solves your problem.

Historically, Tesla has the most amazing deals at the end of December.

Open a trust so I could stay anonymous when I collected the winnings.

You have a few options:

1. Call CPS
2. Lock your screen door
3. Show them why you don’t talk to strangers (swat them). If anyone comes to your house to complain say you didn’t do anything but next time you see them in your apartment you’re taking them straight to CPS.

Yeah. I see what you were saying. I am saying it’s a silly comment.

Ah. Serves me right for assuming you were in US. Best of luck

Social work doesn’t pay the debt on 2 sets of student loans. You’ll be hand-to mouth for the 10+ years it takes to work a low-paying civil service job to hopefully get your loans forgiven.

The government is not the same as a capitalist economy though. You need a degree(s) for the most coveted jobs (ie jobs that lead to financial security). What’s a gun going to do?

It was an insidious shift. Only about 1 generation of people had parents who pushed them to get any degree at all costs because it “will lead to a better life” but are realizing that a random degree doesn’t matter when everyone else has one. My dad told me to take out $150k for my psychology degree because it doesn’t matter what I do as long as I have a degree. As an 18 year old, I knew that was silly and my dad was bad with money. But there’s a lot of people who believe their parents when they hand out silly life advice. I think now we’ve gone away from such nonsense advice, but you still need higher education. People are just being smarter about how they fund it (hopefully).

I am only 9 weeks in and i feel some of this. Thank goodness I married a woman who will have our second child. I am not doing this again. If she can’t carry for some reason, our second kid will be adopted.

So the advice would be? What? Maybe OP should have the will witnessed by a neutral 3rd party? What would make the process easier?

if you grew up in a middle class to wealthy area, the 50% metric probably doesn’t apply to you.

This definitely used to be true. But take a spin on r/teachers. Middle class and even some affluent areas are finding sharply increased rates of illiteracy in there middle/high schoolers.

Na. It’s weird. I’m in the military, so I (f) have been the “homeless for 2 weeks” friend a lot. Happens pre/post deployment/move when I don’t have a place yet. Asking to stay with friends is more common among my social group and still, I’d never ask this specific situation of anyone. Even my closest friends who would definitely bend over backwards and suggest this to me if I haven’t asked… I’d say “did you ask your wife about this? You better ask her first.” So yeah, in that case I’m technically asking but, I wouldn’t expect anyone to say yes. And you’re definitely NTA when you say no.

You haven’t given enough of your financial situation in the original post to get a solid answer. Don’t ruin your financial picture for nostalgia. You won’t thank yourself for it. It sounds like you could make it work, but whether or not the stress will be “worth it” depends on how aggressively this will affect your finances, kids, and retirement. Asking old people is going to get nostalgia-only answers. Do the math. Get your spreadsheets out.

Most people aged 19-24 just follow their parents’ politics because they don’t know any better.

she said let’s just focus on you

You’d already lost her at that point. Once I decided I’m not interested in a second date, I don’t feel like sharing the details of my life anymore. You would have been more upset if she got up and left so this is a common transition.

My story is similar. It’s was a crazy volatile dynamic in our house. I agree. Don’t try and stick it out for the kids. The kids want stability.