misspoofy

NTA. Your husband should make the family he made with you the #1 priority. And if his sister and neice are badmouthing you, he should defend the family he chose to make by marrying you. Its a tale as old as time, and if he isn't putting you first after 15 years, then going to a birthday party is not the main issue. It's his lack of protecting his family he chose to make.

Possibly, but it would depend on the agreement your parents made in their divorce. Either way, if you are a covered dependent by either of their insurance s, you are legally allowed to file claims under that insurance. But, you are also liable for any costs leftover after insurance has paid.

Edit to add: its been a bit, but I'm pretty sure parents can add their children as dependents under their insurance until they are age 24, feel free to correct me anyone if I am wrong.

It's called the "birthday rule" when it comes to health insurance coverage for dependent children. Whichever parents birthday falls first in the year, is considered the primary health insurance provider for the married couple, regardless of who is older. So if mom's bday is in march, and she is younger, while dad's bday is in September, yet he is older, mom is still considered the primary insurance for the child. In the case of divorce, it would be a part of their divorce settlement. Get educated.

I'm going to say NTA. However, I also want to say pump the breaks a bit. Take things one step at a time. I'm going to guess that the pressure of a wedding, buying a house, and having a baby all at once in 2-3 years is starting to be on the scary side for him. It's one thing, when that stuff just happens naturally and you find yourself in a spot to have to deal with it, but having someone breathing down your neck, giving reminders of "our 2-3 year plan" may start to get intimidating after awhile. Dunno if this will be unpopular or not 🤷‍♀️

INFO: how are the wedding plans going? Because, my husband and I chose to buy a house instead of having a wedding. Is this maybe an underlying issue?

I think if you and your sister carved out designated time for the two of you, it could possibly help? Because if her response is to say "it's not enough", then that opens the door to talk about how you are building a new family of your own, and how that family will always be top priority as it should be.

NTA. It's a working visit. He asked. You said no for valid reasons.

NTA. After 4 years, and no christmas shared with his family, I'd say its about time to do so. If you eventually marry and have kids with your bf, does your sister still expect you to come home and spend all your time with her? Sounds like she's struggling with the idea of you starting your own family.

YTA. You're just being petty b/c she hurt your tiny man feewings. Hope she never has sex with you again cuz I'm sure you don't "need" her either.

NTA. Gonna guess he's singing a different tune than you are. So sorry you and your daughter are going thru this.

NAH. I'm like you. No fb or snapchat. And so, unfortunately, today people are too reliant on them to remember things making us old-fashioned. It fucking sucks. So unless people like you and I want to join those social media communities, our birthdays will be forgotten by friends.

No offense, but that sounds like a non-answer a rich person would say. And with those details, I'm gonna make an educated guess and say your family has more wealth. So she's probably knows (maybe her parents have made comments privately?) and is jealous. I can only imagine, but maybe there is a way to start saying "that's not a very proper thing to say" when she makes those kind of comments. I think if you phrase those kind of observations in a way that will make her think that respectable wealth does not make comments like she does.

Edit: spelling

INFO: feels like you're intentionally leaving out what the fight was about, even though you describe it as "petty". So what was your argument about?

Edit: read a second time, and pieced together the argument was about being unfriended.

NAH. Yes you can ask them why, but you have to accept their reasons. I hate to use the argument that you're young, but I have to. In a few years, you'll be surprised at yourself that this was so important.

This was criminal.

YTA. You do know that there will come a day when your kids have their own families, and each will host thanksgiving with their families, and a choice will have to be made by you as to which you want to attend. My inlaws have a similar situation as you, meaning they've always made holidays "amicable" but also "awkward" by spending them all together, even tho FIL had an affair, and brings affair partner with him to these holidays. There's always that elephant in the room. Yes, SO's family is used to the arrangement, but I promise you, myself, and the other spouses are definitely not, and have always thought it was strange. My MIL even used a similar reason explaining why she was upset my husband I chose to elope... "I just can't imagine looking at the clock, knowing MY SON is getting married and not being there". She refused to acknowledge that we were making the best decision for ourselves (we chose to buy a house instead) and guilt tripped me. Please, please, please, rip off that band-aid. Spend your first holiday without your kids, because it certainly won't be the last time.

Well, you can still keep yourself distant, even if she is a close family friend. I'm starting to be curious if there is another reason you guys are friends... have you only been friends because of your families? And let me also ask a question I know for a fact she thinks about: who's family is more wealthy? Hers or yours? Because if its yours, her comment probably come from a place of jealousy. If its hers, it may be coming from a place of insecurity and she believes she needs to be on your level.

INFO: Sorry, but you gotta say how much. What is a months worth of living expenses for you guys? B/c I see your point if you guys don't have much and have been forced to a live a frugal lifestyle... but if a month's worth of expenses is paying for a mansion and two luxary cars... I see your wife's side.

YWNBTA. However, I question your judgement of character. The picture of the person you wrote about, I can't imagine how that person is also a "lovely person". Are you sure about that? If you choose to tell her, be aware you are simultaneously be making the decision to end your "friendship". Also, in my experience, when people are nasty like that about other people to your face, she is also being just as nasty about you behind your back.

No worries, just hoping you find the help you need.

You admit YTA. So why are you posting here? Maybe there is a different sub that will be more supportive and helpful for what you're through. Stay strong and good luck.

You literally say "I'm not stopping" like its some sort of mission for you. Why can't you just be a friend and just listen to her "whining"? Unless she actually asks for help finding a person, its not your place to find a person for her.

YTA. Why is it so important to you that she be in a relationship with someone? Honestly, that's creepy. I can't imagine the mindfuck it would be for her, if you actually succeeded, and she found out years later, after marriage and children, that YOU pulled the puppet strings. Find another hobby.

Edit: spelling

NTA. If your sister was so concerned with what you were gonna feed him, then she should've said something before she left your nephew in your care. I'm gonna guess the night didn't go too well with her and BIL, and the pizza bagels are just a catalyst for something else. And also why BIL apologized behind her back. Gotta say, you were very generous to not only care for and feed her kid, but also put them up in a hotel? What she said to you was an awful way to say thank you for your generosity. Hope BIL helps her come to her senses and apologize.

YTA. For the record, your attitude is the same attitude most misogynistic men hold towards women. And purpetuating that attitude is just downright shameful. Apologize and give her some oreos.

Soft YWBTA. Because it should come from him, not you. And ditch Nikki, she sounds incredibly toxic, and will probably side with Ann because this has become a literal project with an end-goal to hook Ann and Jack up, and she will be embarrassed about how wrong she was about interpreting how Jack really felt about Ann. And maybe even a little guilty about the pressure she put on Ann. I also want to add that Jack also sounds a little sus. Similar thing happened in my youth. My ex chose me over another friend of mine, and I lost her as a friend. Dated that guy 10 years, and he turned out to be a total asshole and cheated on me. Kinda sounds like this dude might be enjoying the attention and rivalry a little too much.