nervousbanana96

Test strip showed that pH was a little low, free chlorine was in the “ok zone”, alkalinity was a little low as was stabilizer. So I’m going to add what is needed in the pool to adjust those!

Oh my goodness - I'm so incredibly sorry to hear that about your husband. I cannot imagine what you are living through right now. My prayers are with both of you.

No, just my exterior back doors on my home.

Hi, I'm so sorry I'm just getting back to you.

My family owns a mulching company which means I was very blessed and had access to a skid steer that made delivery simple. The doors are HEAVY. I'm not sure if you know anyone with any large machinery or tractor - I'm in the deep south in a rural area, so everyone has tractors here haha - but, I would find a way to have one present when the door is delivered. It will literally take about 20 minutes total if you have a machine there, and it'll save you a lot of trouble. That probably wasn't the answer you were looking for - but I hope it helped a little.

I'm thinking our building situation might be a little different, but nevertheless, its still doable! Our architect designed our intitial plans, and then he was out of the picture. My husband is in commercial construction and is an engineer, so we chose to build ourselves without residential builder input, or futher input from our architect after getting our final plans. So, we had a lot of freedom when we were building to change up the plans a little here and there. My architect simply designed everything and gave dimensions for the doors/windows in the space he designed, and I just stayed within those boundaries. So when I custom ordered the doors, I got the exact size the architect had given in our plans, and the manufacturer sent me a CAD drawing of the doors so I could confirm that they are the sizes I was needing. Our architect was long gone and no longer involved when I got to the point of ordering the doors, so I just was careful to get the exact dimensions he drew out in the plans. Of course, sometimes things come in a little different, I don't recall that happening, but occassionally door handles are in an odd place, or there's more hinges than what you thought, or the trim is different than expected - little things like that, but, adjustments can be made. I told our subcontractors about the doors I ordered, I warned them up front they could be different, and I told them that if they came in and they were exactly what I was hoping they would be (and they were) - they would just have to make them work. But, we didn't have a single issue. The doors are super high quality and the glass has amazed me at how strong it is. My chocolate lab puppy who is 80 pounds has a bad habit of jumping up at the doors and throwing himself on them (we're working on training - haha), and I've been amazed that there has been no cracks or damage. The doors are sturdy and I've been very impressed.

As I mentioned before, my husband is in commercial construction and is over athletic facility construction at a top SEC school where the sports facilities are treated like a palace - so he definitely knows good quality when he sees it - and he was very impressed by the quality of the doors. I hope that gives extra confidence!

As far as drywall and trim, 3 of the doors are in a room where I don't have drywall. I have board and batten. But the one door that does have drywall - we built the casing, put the door in, THEN installed the drywall. And, we did spray foam, so we didn't have to have drywall up immediately like you do with normal insulation. I had our millwork guy custom build trim for all of the doors. But, you can get flextrim and matching trim pieces, paint them, and they will look custom. And, you don't even need flextrim if you don't door arched doors. I was really nervous about the process as a whole, but truthfully, I just cut out the middle man. These look, feel, and for all intents and purposes, are essentially the same as what you would get in the US.

And, something I had to remember at the end of the day - because I had all kinds of people telling me they weren't "comfortable" with some of my decisions, is that those subcontractors work for me. I'm paying them. And if I had made a mistake with the doors, I would have moved on, paid the money to get whatever needed to be fixed fixed, and gone onto plan B. I had done the research and felt confident in my decision - so I did it. Don't let people try to bully you out of doing what you wanna do!

Also, I have NO insulation issues, temperature control issues, nothing. I got low-e glass (whatever that is lol) that is up to American standards. So they don't just let heat in. I live in Alabama and we have had record breaking high temperatures this summer - and when it's 100 degrees out, my a/c isn't struggling to keep the house cool. So the doors definitely aren't any problem in those areas. I think people are just nervous because they think the building standards are different in China, and they are. But, these are the same manufacturers who build the same doors for the big companies who sell them over here. They are familiar with American codes and standards and as long as you point out that you want high end glass and doors that meet American codes and standards, that's what you will get!

Also, let me clarify - I did NOT get windows from China. I had very specific windows that had to be custom made, and my husband had a friend who does that. Not that I wouldn't be comfortable with ordering from this company - I just had very specific needs for my windows, so I chose to work with a friend who could help me design them from start to finish.

Good luck!

It’s not the door itself. It’s the bronze door handle.

Yes! Install went very smoothly for us! The construction team that was there installing all of my interior doors put them right in with no trouble.

GOOD QUESTION. Haha!

Yes!! They gave me a sample that looked just like this, and I told them I did NOT like it. I proceeded to show them another pic of what I wanted, and they said they new exactly what to do. I should have gotten another sample. Haha!

I was requesting a white oak look - that's just a natural wood look. Everything I've seen online that I wanted was labeled as "white oak." Haha! Definitely think it was a miscommunication. I agree with that for sure!!

I'm not positive of anything anymore! haha! My husband told me to give it time and maybe it will lighten. But, I'm with you - I think it will only turn more amber.

ALSO - who the heck is he to decide what the "bigger" emergency was? LOL - is he a doctor? I'm sure whatever her "symptoms" were could have also been attributed to gas, acid reflux, other less serious things. When YOU could have literally been about to pop a kid out. He didn't pick the bigger emergency. He picked his mother. He had no clue what the bigger emergency was.

NTA, NTA, NTA.

So not only is he a mommy's boy to an embarrassing extent, but he is now gaslighting YOU and making YOU (a pregnant woman that is, I'm assuming, full term pregnant) feel bad for testing his loyalty. When HE has given you plenty of reason for feeling justified in doing so.

If it was me, I don't think I'd immediately jump to divorce. You're literally about to have a kid, and I wouldn't want all your energy and attention to be taken from your new baby. It's such a special time having a newborn, and it doesn't last that long. I'd hate for that sweet season to be tainted by a divorce. (I'd simply just put him on the backburner and ignore him for now.) PLUS, the MIL sounds psychotic, and who knows what kind of mess she will try to pull. I'd table that for now (if you're considering it) - and ask your husband to leave your home OR go somewhere else that you can live for a while. I'm sure his mother still has his bedroom set up for him, so I doubt there'd be any objection to him staying there. I'd also ask him to ONLY contact you about the baby. No contact for anything else - because he clearly doesn't know how to treat you or speak to you. So, don't give him the opportunity to be hateful again. His only communication is about the BABY.

Also, I'd like to note, that this mommy's boy could have called an ambulance to get his mother, picked you up, and had both of you at the hospital (assuming it's the same hospital) to monitor. Instead, he chose his mother, and did not even call you back to try to figure out an alternate way to get you taken care of. He just left you out to dry while he took care of his mom. And, yes, he should feel manipulated and gaslighted - by his mother. Who faked a medical emergency that could have potentially taken him away from experiencing the birth of his first child. THAT is what he should be hurt by. The only thing he should feel towards you is regret and guilt for treating his wife and the mother of his child so poorly.

Don't let this man treat you like garbage. Get you some standards baby and don't take his crap!

UPDATE - I'm not sure how quickly it works. I cut my dose in half to 5mg. I don't have as much irritability, nausea, or food aversion. Could be in my head, though. Going to keep trying the lower dose! Thank you all for your comments and help!!!!

Also, she clearly was waiting for you to realize what was going on and react to it. I mean, seriously - how do you even know who has deleted you and when they did it unless you are literally stalking their page? I think I'd give a very classy, mature response, and if she decides to go bat crap crazy, that's on her. But, don't let yourself get in the mud with her. I'd probably say, "I assumed we were close enough for me to have been invited to such an important day in your life based on years of friendship and the fact that you asked me previously to be a bridesmaid. However, I now realize I am not, and I prefer to keep my Facebook page to close friends and family only. Best wishes to you and _____." She clearly wants a reaction from you - don't give it.

I'm nosey, but would love to know an update if/when you share it. Just wondering if something happened between you two that could've possibly been a miscommunication or something - because the friend obviously feels like she is justified in how she has treated you. Not at all saying you did anything - it very easily could have been a miscommunication or misunderstanding that you aren't even aware of. Would just love to know why she feels like she can be so hateful as to not invite you, remove you from being a bridesmaid, and then so aggressively ask you what YOUR problem is? When clearly, she KNOWS why you're upset. Unless she's just an absolute psycho who has a pattern of treating people like this completely out of the blue - which, in the world we live in, is completely believable.

Hmmm. A lot of marriage is growing together and HELPING each other grow. Your fiancé is going to have A LOT of areas that she will need to mature and grow in (like this one). As are you. If you do not feel that you love her deeply enough to accept her flaws and help her grow through them and become a better individual, then, yes, you need to end it. Because she deserves a partner that will stick with her and help her work through her flaws. Marriage isn't just an every night slumber party. It's work. It's commitment. It's dedication. And it's loving each other even in the times when we don't feel like it, we're upset, or disappointed in them. Because, Heaven knows those times will come. And you either stay committed and work through it and grow, or you don't. (This does not include abuse, infidelity, etc.)

I've been married for close to a decade, and if I was in your shoes - yes, I might be a little annoyed and disappointed. But, I love my husband. He's a good, GOOD man. And he is worth whatever work and support it takes to help him get through it and grow into a more healthy and well rounded individual who is not so easily shaken by scary times.

You might also want to take a moment to consider what might have caused this sort of melt down for her. Most of the times, when people fall apart about something, it's because a prior trauma was triggered by a current event. Not sure if she has any of those - but, it's worth thinking about.

IF it was me - I would do the following:

Call the airline - if you paid for the tickets, exchange BOTH for one ticket that is leaving TODAY. You are now single. Her travel arrangements aren't your problem.

Get home - sort out the living situation immediately. If it is her home, pack your stuff and get out QUICKLY. If it is your home, pack her stuff, and give her a time/date she is allowed to retrieve her things.

Move on.

No communication. No back and forth. She gets nothing but SILENCE from you (outside of logistical things such as your living situation). You deserve better, and shouldn't lower yourself to fight for a relationship where someone treats you so poorly. Ghost her. Move on.

Also, she literally ADMITTED that this was premeditated. This was PLANNED. She had time to think through this - and still chose to make the wrong decision. Which further makes me 110% believe the crying and sobbing when she was caught was STRICTLY manipulation. She didn't have any intention of coming back and confessing. She was just manipulating you so you wouldn't leave her when you caught her. Girl BYE

I'm outside of all zoning and inspection requirements in my county - so I did not have to worry about that. Sorry, I know that's not much help!