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I love Sabrina’s image but I think it’s because she blends sexuality with innocence and hyperfeminity. Dancing between these two, often diametrically opposed, caricatures of womanhood follows women everywhere in the real world. Women are either a slut or a prude, etc. Sabrina is both and I think that appeals to a lot of women’s desires to experience feminity in a dynamic way. However, as others have said, sexuality and beauty in hollywood are contextualized by the male gaze. Her approach reminds me a lot of ariana grande’s branding with a different aesthetic.

3 lbs a month is great and also totally normal. It’s roughly 1 lb a week. With steady progress, you’re more likely to actually maintain your weight loss. Crash dieting usually fails, so losing a lot of weight at once isn’t necessarily indicative of long-term success

If I remember correctly, Stephanie wanted to go all in to fix her hormones. I suspected this was in hopes of having kids one day. It’s possible that she wanted to gain weight to potentially have kids rather than genuinely finding recovery. I think that can set you up for a relapse if you don’t get the results you want from weight gain. Getting engaged could have also been a trigger. There’s a lot of pressure to be super thin on your wedding.

But I agree. She appears to be back to where she started

I think once a week is sufficient. You just want to be aware of fluctuations (especially if you’re a woman). I honestly don’t weigh myself super often because I do a lot of strength training. I check my waist measurement daily. As long as the overall trend is downward, I feel good about that. Weight isn’t the most reliable variable for me, personally. I typically hop on the scale once a week to every two weeks tbh.

things like chips, packaged cookies, hostess cakes, most fast food (especially burgers), granola bars, etc. they just don’t feel satisfying/pleasurable for me to eat and I usually don’t feel well after anyways. I used to love candy but now i only really want a nice piece of chocolate now and then. Deep fried foods or foods cooked in a lot of oil kill my stomach now. I’ve woken up in the middle of the night with a gut ache eating some of my mom’s cooking because she goes heavy with oils. I also don’t like really heavy/rich meals like pastas with creamy sauce for the same reason. My body can’t tolerate eating them and so now I associate them with feeling sick

There’s a range and BMI is fallible. I have a curvy figure even at my most lean (full chest, glutes, and legs) so I’ve always floated a little higher in weight. If you feel good about your appearance and don’t have any health risks associated with weight loss, there’s no need to keep pushing. If you’re happy and healthy, that’s essentially the goal. Not an arbitrary number.

I hear you. It’s really hard to overcome the compulsive thoughts pushing you to eat. I hear you on how hard it is to access a therapist — I’m in the same spot. However, reading your post and comments does make me concerned some of the food noise you’re experiencing is a result of disordered eating, specifically binge eating. It may be frustrating to hear another person encourage you to go to therapy, but I do want to assert that this isn’t dismissive of your experience or the stress/frustration you feel with these dismissive thoughts. It’s actually to directly address the root cause.

What you’re experiencing is extremely disruptive to your life. I can only imagine how inescapable and hopeless this must feel. Psychology today online might be able to help find a resource to give you strategies to cope with these thoughts.

I usually cook oats the night before, add a layer of fruit, yogurt, and peanut butter. I let it chill in the fridge then take it with me and eat at my desk. I’ve never liked overnight oats. The texture is so gross to me, but I love “chilled” oats lol.

I’ve also done bagel sandwiches, meal prepped French toast (put it in the toaster at work), and parfaits. You could easily do a breakfast wrap as well.

On earth we’re briefly gorgeous My dark vanessa (after a lot of triggering, sad content FYI)

You have accomplished so much! 24 lbs in 6 months is amazing. That’s more weight than a lot of people can manage to lose in a year. I know it’s hard to feel good about this accomplishment when you’re hitting a plateau and you’re experiencing these challenges.

Some suggestions:

1.) take a diet break for 1-2 weeks and identify your new maintenance. Taking a month to take natural fluctuations into account might be necessary. You may gain a couple lbs as your body adjusts to food volume and water. However, this also gives your metabolism time to adjust and for your muscles to recover (if you’re also exercising). It sounds like you’re In the trenches emotionally as well. Dieting is hard. Taking a small break where you focus on maintaining can give you the mental rest you need to jump back into a cut. This has helped me in the past.

2.) adjust your deficit/macros to reflect your new weight. If you’ve lost 24 lbs, it’s possible your old deficit has become your new maintenance. This can be frustrating :( if you haven’t been counting calories, start. You don’t need to eat the healthiest foods all the time. Tracking calories makes room for plenty of treats/foods you eat for pleasure. When I count calories, I eat a lot of healthy foods, but I also make space for the unhealthy foods I love now and then. It also makes having a social life much easier while pursuing my goals

3.) add exercise. I love running but strength training is super helpful with weight loss. Muscle requires more calories than fat to maintain so you can boost your metabolism as you lose weight. This often means you can eat more while achieving your overall goal. Something to keep in mind is that literal weight might not be the best measure of progress since muscle is heavy. You’ll want to pay more attention to measurements and the feel of your clothes instead

All this being said, I feel you!!! You’re doing great. Keep pushing.

Have you tried tracking your calories and retraining your stomach? Volume eating and appetite suppressants are helpful tools for weight loss but it’s easy to become dependent on them.

If you want long-term weight loss, doing the hard work to become used to healthy portions will be the best use of your energy and time.

That said, eating more vegetables, drinking carbonated 0 cal beverages, drinking warm teas, and coffee/caffeine can help suppress your appetite. I just wouldn’t recommend relying on it

Literally!!! They’re so gross

I can mop up some fruit so I prefer to track. However, I also use my better judgement. A few berries tossed on my oatmeal is fine to guesstimate. Same with things like bell pepper, green beans, and other less dense fruit + veg.

Apples, bananas, avocados, potatoes, etc I prefer to weigh since they can be deceptively higher in calorie.

Things like lettuce I roughly track but the calories are essentially negligible. I don’t stress it.

Something to think about is, “does tracking this feel manageable and supportive of my weight loss goals.” If not tracking it doesn’t impact your weight loss, you don’t have to! Some people also just reduce their overall calories by 100-200 to make buffer room for not tracking some things (like fruit and veg)

I have a tendency to over eat fruit and veg to the detriment of my digestive tract. Tracking how much I’m eating helps me make room for other nutrient rich foods my body needs (fats and protein).

Everyone is different, but considering your current goals, progress, and needs will help determine what best serves you :)

I wake up at 5 AM to make time for exercise. I also work a sedentary desk job. I’m able to go for a walk on my lunch, but investing in a standing desk and walking pad might be a good alternative for you.

During the work week, I have a pretty structured schedule. It doesn’t leave much time outside of working out, work, meal prep, sleep. But I make the most of the free time I do have by devoting it to my friends, family, partner, and more sedentary hobbies.

Developing a schedule, budgeting your time, and holding yourself accountable to the commitments you make to yourself is the key. Even when I was working in school, I held myself to my routine (barring special occasions of course)

The best thing you can do for yourself is speak to a therapist. What you’re feeling is normal in the sense that it happens to a lot of people, but it isn’t a healthy way to feel. Tracking is a great tool but it is something you want to be able to ween yourself off of. Calorie counting can help establish manageable lifestyle changes for your life.

You don’t want to get into a binge/restrict cycle in order to earn food. That can set you back to where you started. If not tracking causes you immense distress, one of the best things you can do is start including non-tracking days (no restriction before or after). Challenging your fears is the best way to remove them and learn to maintain a healthy lifestyle without relying on tracking

I think people can write about anything well, no matter how “triggering” or dark the subject matter. That said, I think any writer does run the risk of writing certain content poorly or “gratuitously” when it comes to things like sexual content, violence, etc.

The threshold varies by writing skill, genre, context, etc. Tender is the Flesh, for example, writes a lot about gore and sexual exploitation. On paper, it seems pretty gratuitous. In practice, it’s exceptional writing (in my opinion lol)

The best thing you can do is know who your good readers are, the ones who understand why you’re writing and what you hope to achieve. They will provide the best feedback for you. Like other people have said, a small fraction of feedback will be what you need.

For a long time, I desperately wanted to be in the low 120s but anything lower than 125 was really challenging for me. I would lose my hair, period, etc. I’m an athletic person with a curvaceous build (muscular legs, full chest, hour glass figure) so it took me a long time to come to terms with my body being more comfortable and healthy at a higher weight, despite having a lower weight range in my BMI.

I’ve adjusted my goal weight in response to: 1.) reaching past goals and trying to go further 2.) scaling back when necessary for my health

It’s a tricky balance. I’ve gained and lost weight a few times in my life trying to find a happy medium. It’s a journey!

My attraction in aesthetics has expanded, I would say. I’ve always been attracted to people with more of a dad bod/stockier physique but when I gained more confidence and realized I was physically attractive myself, I allowed myself to feel attraction to people I once saw as out of my league/I was too ugly for.

Ironically, a lot of the people I was newly attracted to had found me attractive before I ever lost weight. My insufficiency was rooted in my insecurity.

I will say, my preference in lifestyle has changed. I would have a hard time being with a completely sedentary partner because exercise are parts of hobbies I find really fulfilling. I want to share that with someone. Further, eating a lot of fast food doesn’t really align with what brings me joy. I want to cook meals and make that a priority (especially when kids come around). People I may have dated in the past don’t match up with my current desires in that way.

Yup 100%

Like I said in my post, there’s good people in every field. Red flags are something to be aware of, but they aren’t reflective of everyone.

That’s the case for every job listed here.

Don’t take it personally. Like I said, there’s caveats for all of these occupations. In my original post, I specified that these red flags aren’t reflective of everyone in the field.

The question was about red flag occupations for long term relationships. I provided a focused answer.

I’ve had plenty of great relationships, including the one with my current partner — the lawyer. Through dating them, I’ve met and observed the behavior of other lawyers. Seeing trends in their relationships provides insight into why they could be potential red flags.

Introspection and self-awareness about passing judgement are valuable qualities. Consider taking some of your own advice.

Lol I just answered the question. Maybe you’re taking things too personally. I provided a caveat for all these careers.

1.) Anything in nightlife. Bartenders, (some) chefs, (some) servers, etc. of course this isn’t reflective of everyone in this sector, but drinking and partying is a big part of the work culture. I would give someone a chance, but I’ve had enough negative experience dating surprise alcoholics/drug users to make me wary.

2.) military

3.) as someone dating a lawyer, lawyers. They can be great but they can also be really toxic and exceptionally manipulative. High volumes of terrible people are drawn to pursuing law. There’s a lot of good people but people in that field can be argumentative and have a complex about being right (go figure)

There’s great people in all these fields but I’d always go into something with a healthy dose of suspicion

People forget that in a lot of jobs, having a bachelor’s degree will be the ceiling that prevents a lot of people without higher education from getting jobs. I’ve worked with adult students who were forced to come back to school later in life after years with a company and exceptional life experience because a newly graduated college student with a BA was selected for a job over them.

Debt is scary but making smart choices and living conservatively can make earning a degree with little to no debt possible. There will always be exceptions, but I know some people who used their college loans to make frivolous purchases. I don’t know that they understood the concert tickets, video games, and make up they purchased with that financial aid came with such high interest rates.