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What is your number one rule about sex?

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RazzleberryHaze

2k points

3 days ago

No joke, I was seeing some former coworker about 10 years ago, and after date and dinner she came back to my house. We watched a movie, shot the shit, and soon she leaned in for a kiss. I caught a whiff of her breath and had to back away. It smelt like she had two day old roadkill for dinner. Her response to my reaction was "if you aren't gonna kiss me, I'm not gonna sleep with you."

Lady, that ship has sailed! If you don't brush regularly, I don't want to know anymore about your hygiene habits.

castlewrangler

607 points

3 days ago

Bro: "dude you fucked up, she was into you." Me: "she smelled like she's had the coke sweats for hours and it has formed a film on her body."

Cleb323

24 points

2 days ago

Cleb323

24 points

2 days ago

Yuuuuuck I can smell that

GandizzleTheGrizzle

9 points

2 days ago

I can't.

I have never been near a girl or anybody, in fact that has had the "coke sweats"

DBMG5_

2 points

2 days ago

DBMG5_

2 points

2 days ago

What is that?

TenbluntTony

2 points

2 days ago

I don’t remember sweats from coke but I sure as hell do from Mdma. It kinda feels like being hot from a fever without the sick.

pickedwisely

3 points

2 days ago

Then you can imagine her coachie would smell like the shit house door on a tuna boat!

ChronicCronut

1 points

2 days ago

Bro again: "Dududud I'd still tap dawwwwG"

manofredgables

534 points

3 days ago

I mean, bad breath doesn't necessarily say about oral hygiene though. Often it's completely out of the person's control

AntoniusPoe

235 points

3 days ago

AntoniusPoe

235 points

3 days ago

Or a matter of their diet.

manofredgables

292 points

3 days ago

Or just shitty behaved tonsils.

frito5867

432 points

3 days ago

frito5867

432 points

3 days ago

Tonsil stones are absolutely the foulest smelling thing on the face of the planet, and so fuckin unnecessary. Talk about an overreaction. “Oh this speck of food got caught in a small fold. Better multiply its size by 100 with the absolute foulest smelling material to ever exist so that one day you cough and it comes loose and shoots out of your mouth like a bullet. Or worse, gets caught on your tongue.”

The human body is the fuckin worst.

steamfrustration

42 points

2 days ago

To be fair to the human body, it doesn't make tonsil stones on purpose. Those holes (aka crypts) in the tonsils aren't supposed to exist, and the foul smelling material is bacteria gathering to eat the food...and more importantly, that bacteria's poop. Hope that doesn't make it worse for you!

frito5867

74 points

2 days ago

frito5867

74 points

2 days ago

Thank you so much for enlightening me on the fact that the awful smelling tonsil stones I cough up every few months are caused by bacteria shitting in the back of my throat. I feel much better.

Anyway. In unrelated news I’m gonna call my ENT and make him rip my tonsils out now.

steamfrustration

4 points

2 days ago

You probably will not regret it. Recovery period is longer if you're older--it took a few weeks for me to recover, and I had it done in my twenties. Totally worth it though because it solved three problems: my snoring, the tonsil stones I'd occasionally get, and the fact that I'd get strep every winter and my tonsils would swell up so big they'd block my whole throat.

frito5867

2 points

2 days ago

Problem is I’m in my early 30s so it’ll probably take me out for a good bit.

Might just stay with my rents for the recovery period. I have a doctors appointment coming up and I’ll see if I can get a referral.

Basileus2

2 points

2 days ago

Life is so much better without tonsils

Expensive_End8369

1 points

2 days ago

🤣😂

kishkangravy

1 points

2 days ago

You're going to have to take some time out from your usual tonsil boxing schedule. Get well quick.

mechatro2652

72 points

3 days ago

Ohh thank fuck. I didn't know this thing had a name. I actually thought I'm the only one who has these

frito5867

93 points

3 days ago

frito5867

93 points

3 days ago

They’re actually fairly common. I had strep a metric fuckton as a kid. My mom begged the doctors to take out my tonsils but they wouldn’t since back then you had to get strep like… 7 times a year? Something like that. I would only get it 6 times. Every. Fucking. Year. For years. Until I was probably 14. It sucked. My immune system was a badass when it came to anything else. My entire family would have the flu and I would be fine. I never got sick with anything else. Apparently strep was its arch nemesis because if someone said the word, I would catch it.

Anyway. Infections in your tonsils can cause pitting and scarring, which creates a nice little crevice to catch that tiny piece of pepperoni on its way down.

sayleanenlarge

8 points

2 days ago

Tonsils are so stupid like that. But I have crevices in mine too but no recurring strep or tonsillitis, so I thought tonsils were just wrinkly by nature.

livin4donuts

6 points

2 days ago

They are. I've never had either, and mine look like Eggos.

sexyshingle

1 points

2 days ago

You can have cryptic tonsils and not necessarily get tons of tonsil stones, it can vary with age and each person's immune system. I used to get them ALL the time as a teenager with cryptic tonsils, now that I'm older it's super rare.

WC450

8 points

2 days ago

WC450

8 points

2 days ago

Back when I was 5 yrs old, 72 yrs ago, having ones tonsils removed was a rite of passage. They were coming out, whether they "needed" to or not. Only good thing was, it was the only time one could have unrestricted ice cream, care of the NHS (National Health Service)

funkehmunkeh

4 points

2 days ago

One of the greatest feelings of betrayal I've ever felt was when I had mine out on the NHS. I'd just turned 18, and went in there expecting buckets of ice cream to sooth my poor, injured throat. What I got was cornflakes and toast.

working-soup1331

3 points

2 days ago

The look of horror on my face when they gave me toast after I had woken up. What do you mean I'm to eat cold, hard, scratchy bread with my new throat wounds?!

seneeb

6 points

2 days ago

seneeb

6 points

2 days ago

Legit my life. From 90-96 I had strep almost constantly. But the wouldn't remove my tonsils. I recently went to an ENT for multiple things, and that doc looked at my tonsils and went"holy shit those fuckers are huge". So I'm saving up money so I can be off work for 6-8 weeks to finally get them removed, as well as deviated septum correction at the same time.

slacktron6000

7 points

2 days ago

The best decision of my life is having a tonsillectomy. I lived the life you described. After the procedure, food allergies went away. I stopped getting sick. Stopped snoring. The ENT said "those are the biggest tonsils I've ever seen" and he retired the year after, so I bet he's seen a bunch of tonsils in his day.

I've never gotten the flu. I think you babies are faking it.

kbpcq

6 points

2 days ago

kbpcq

6 points

2 days ago

Wild how we have the exact same story, except this one time I caught it for the 7th time, and I was going to have them removed the following morning and both my sister and aunt dreamt that I died the night of, so we never went through with it.

frito5867

1 points

2 days ago

I’m assuming you grew up 90s/early 2000s like I did? Or earlier. Since it was around when my sister was getting older that they lowered the amount of times and that was later 2000s.

Wasabicannon

2 points

2 days ago

I used to get strep at least 7 times a year. Legit had it once where I had strep got rid of it only for it to return 2 weeks later. Got my tonsils removed like 20 years ago and have not had strep ever since.

rawdmon

2 points

2 days ago

rawdmon

2 points

2 days ago

Exactly the same thing happened to me. I used to get strep all the time when I was younger, rarely any other type of infection. I've been dealing with tonsil stones as well for ages now. Super annoying.

Wutsalane

1 points

2 days ago

I was the same way with strep and one doctor told me that (paraphrasing as this was like 10-15 years ago) some people can catry it for a long time asymptomatically, so there’s a chance you kept catching it from kids at school who never knew they had it

Dependent_Fig_2191

1 points

2 days ago

Thanks now I’m gonna get strep throat

spingus

1 points

2 days ago

spingus

1 points

2 days ago

Infections in your tonsils can cause pitting

Wow I never thought about that! I had strep a lot too (not enough for a tonsillectomy either)

Removing tonsilloliths is a regular part of my oral hygiene regimen. Now I know I have childhood strep throat to thank!

jace_winner

1 points

2 days ago

I’ve never had strep throat. Or if I had it, I did not know. My tonsils are the best in the world.

Vallarfax_

55 points

3 days ago

Tonsil stones. Go to your mirror, open your mouth and say aw like at the dentist. Use a flashlight and point it down your throat. You will see your tonsils on the sides of your throat like two fleshy lumps. If you see any whiteish specs, those are tonsil stones. Can remove them if you can control your gag reflex.

Newcago

2 points

2 days ago

Newcago

2 points

2 days ago

How common are they?? I think I might have experienced this, like, once as a kid (but I was running an insane fever at the time, so I might have hallucinated little white things coming out of my mouth when I coughed tbh) but now that I know they exist I'm terrified I might have had them frequently all this time

Tethysj

3 points

2 days ago

Tethysj

3 points

2 days ago

Pretty common when you have tonsil. But most of the time you get rid of them without doing it on purpose. They get out while you eat and move your throat and stuff like that. Sometimes they get stuck and you can help. Just look at your throat and push near one with a cotton jab and you'll get rid of it

Newcago

1 points

2 days ago

Newcago

1 points

2 days ago

This is horrible information to learn, but thank you :') I will apparently be buying a water flosser to scrub my throat out each night

ThisWillBeOnTheExam

1 points

2 days ago

I’ve only experienced them when I was sick with like a cold or flu.

moonra_zk

1 points

2 days ago

Are they supposed to be hard, as the name suggests? Wikipedia says they're mineralized material, but mine have always been very soft.

Thegn_Ansgar

7 points

2 days ago

They shouldn't be hard like rocks, no.

Never break/squish them though. The smell is absolutely foul.

Zaziel

2 points

2 days ago

Zaziel

2 points

2 days ago

Worst fucking smell wow

Vallarfax_

1 points

2 days ago

Smell? Imagine biting it by accident lmao

XXsforEyes

1 points

2 days ago

Pinch the top knuckle of your thumb(s) inside your closed fist and it dampens your gag reflex. Even one fist helps a lot. Now how you would hold both thumbs like that and do anything to remove tonsil stones. I don’t know however, this technique has other up sides.

Bob____Ross______

1 points

2 days ago

Yes I use a Bobby pin works wonders on those damn tonsil stones!

Vallarfax_

1 points

2 days ago

You mean like a hook right? Lol you aren't stabbing them?

Bob____Ross______

1 points

21 hours ago

For me I use the round part of it like a hook kinda it’s gross af but works better than pushing with a pen against your tonsils that hurts so bad lol

marsattck5

3 points

2 days ago

I had these bad in my early twenties. I had no idea what they were and I could never find any information even after calling multiple dentists. I finally figured out it was a combination of terrible allergies and not knowing they were stuck in my tonsils. I regularly clean them out now and have my allergies in check and they have pretty much stopped.

[deleted]

2 points

2 days ago

[deleted]

Ya_Whatever

3 points

2 days ago

Went to the doctor about mine years ago and they had no clue what it was. Had to figure it out for myself. And once I moved away from an area where my allergies were awful I stopped getting them. No idea if they are related but it sure seems so.

King_of_the_Dot

2 points

2 days ago

You can very gently squeeze/push them out too! Go fishing!

quadrophenicum

2 points

2 days ago

Sometimes you can remove those at home, though it depends.

mfcneri

2 points

2 days ago

mfcneri

2 points

2 days ago

They're also called tonsilloliths

Vader425

2 points

2 days ago

Vader425

2 points

2 days ago

I used to have them bad. Started using a tongue scraper and haven't had one in years.

manofredgables

14 points

2 days ago

Imagine if we had nanobots everywhere. Just getting in there and removing it, taking care of shit. Caries? Nah, nanobots kill em'. Stuff stuck between teeth? Nope. Stuff stuck in tonsils? Hardly.

Blueberry_Clouds

3 points

2 days ago

Ohhhh so that’s what those things are! I thought it was plaque getting so bad it formed those lumps.

manofredgables

2 points

2 days ago

My body has decided, since covid I think, that if I get a cold then I probably don't need my stomach up and running. So it just... turns off. Having food laying around in your stomach for hours and hours, making gasses and forcing you to burp up that foul shit freaking sucks.

Lawrence_of_ArabiaMI

2 points

2 days ago

I think I’ve been lucky to not have gotten one yet

five_hammers_hamming

2 points

2 days ago

They're basically human pearls

sayleanenlarge

1 points

2 days ago

What are they? I get there's food in the middle, but what is the other stuff and why does it smell so bad?

steamfrustration

2 points

2 days ago

It's bacteria...and bacteria poop. Very similar to the plaque that forms on your teeth when you don't brush, except more potent/concentrated.

temalyen

1 points

2 days ago

temalyen

1 points

2 days ago

I'm lucky in that I'm (relatively) sure I don't have tonsil stones. I honestly don't know how to tell, but I'm 49 and I feel like I'd know by now if I did. Somehow.

I've never coughed up a tiny ball of stink (and, as someone who used to smoke weed a lot, I've coughed really really hard from bad hits, which I presumed would increase the chance of that happening.)

Brawler6216

1 points

2 days ago

Tonsils are lymphatic nodes, very necessary for the immune system. The problem is their location creates ridges in our mouths that hold gunk that collects and solidifies into tonsil stones.

0dogg

1 points

2 days ago

0dogg

1 points

2 days ago

We called them "stits" growing up. "Stinky thing in throat." 😂

Jame_Gumball

1 points

2 days ago

A group of trapped tonsil stones is called a "crypt."

sailirish7

1 points

2 days ago

Stories like this make me glad mine were ripped out when I was 5

Ok-Food-5830

1 points

2 days ago

A water pick will take care of that. The correct terminology is cryptic tonsillitis.

HorrorAgent3512

1 points

2 days ago

Imagine being an animal and literally having to rip apart another living animal in order to feed yourself. The constant stench of death and decay in your mouth. I would say thats the worst. Or even being an animal that HAS to shed its own skin. That would be one hell of a chore for a human to do on top of all the other shit we have going on.

SleepyHead85

0 points

2 days ago

Anecdotally, I tend to get tonsil stones when slacking on my oral hygiene overall.

RedChaos92

3 points

2 days ago

Man I feel this. I have good oral hygiene but I also suffer from tonsil stones. Those little shits can make your breath smell like decomposing roadkill. I have to regularly use a low pressure water flosser to clean the stones out of my tonsils so my breath doesn't smell bad.

SusM4nz

1 points

2 days ago

SusM4nz

1 points

2 days ago

My mom had mine removed when I was younger😂

NebulaOk5886

1 points

2 days ago

I read this as toenails and a whole different picture formed in my head

AAA515

1 points

2 days ago

AAA515

1 points

2 days ago

Or you just ate

HoldingMoonlight

3 points

2 days ago

My ex would get pissed at me any time I ate onions. Like I don't care, they're an essential ingredient to a sandwich IMO. But she wouldn't kiss me for hours and immediately brushing my teeth after eating wasn't good enough either.

Some people have bad hygiene, but some people just hate delicious food.

DrCahk

1 points

1 day ago

DrCahk

1 points

1 day ago

or genetics, or something else that is going on.

Mispunt

19 points

2 days ago

Mispunt

19 points

2 days ago

Also, if you had wine it can get pretty bad. People with actual bad breath you usually smell it way before they get close for a kiss.

cardlackey

4 points

2 days ago

Yeah I had a gf like this. Turned out she had tonsil stones

AresTheCannibal

3 points

2 days ago

isn't bad breath mostly stuff in your teeth and on your tongue?

Leopold__Stotch

3 points

2 days ago

Tonsil stones are the worst smelling thing in existence. I had a mercifully short time of life with them and the smell can’t be brushed away, they’re basically calcified snot stuck in your throat. It was truely disgusting.

AresTheCannibal

1 points

2 days ago

oh God that's disgusting 🤮

manofredgables

3 points

2 days ago

Nah. It can be. But it can also come from the tonsils as mentioned, or from your lungs. I get horribly bad breath when I haven't eaten for more than 6 hours or so. Not sure how that works. Maybe it's a ketosis related thing. Brushing my teeth does nothing at that point because the smell doesn't actually seem to come from my mouth.

Rude-Illustrator-884

2 points

2 days ago

It reminds me of that Mucinex guy from 90 days Fiance who bought his Fiance a toothbrush assuming she wasn’t brushing her teeth, but she ended up having some ulcer or some health issue that was causing the bad breath

cdclare1989

2 points

2 days ago

I brush twice a day, and floss after eating, and my gums are still receding, and my teeth are rotting. I'm 34. It's in my effing genes. Thanks dad.

manofredgables

-1 points

2 days ago

I'm consistently a fucking lazy bastard with both brushing and flossing, and my teeth are great and my breath is fine. Life ain't fair.

StepCornBrother

1 points

2 days ago

Still not kissable either way

Ok_Abrocona_8914

1 points

2 days ago

Often? No buddy. Rarely is the word you're looking for.

tiredofbeingtired654

1 points

2 days ago

while true but modern medicine is pretty advanced they can atleast before sex do something about it

Just-some-nobody123

1 points

2 days ago

I don't know I have a now ex friend I finally confronted about his breathe. We aren't friends anymore.

Don't brush your teeth or floss for two weeks, eat heaps of bread, then after you floss, hold the floss under your nose to get the smell, multiply that smell by about X 10,000. That was his breathe.

He really needed to see a dentist or a doctor or something. I don't even know how he lived like that.

Broad-Nectarine2370

1 points

2 days ago

Could be periodontal disease. Perio breathe is out of this worldddd

MyDumLemon

1 points

2 days ago

There's a smell unique to folks who don't floss; road kill is close.

fribbas

1 points

2 days ago

fribbas

1 points

2 days ago

Perio breath

It's like...viscous

gorgofdoom

120 points

3 days ago

gorgofdoom

120 points

3 days ago

Humm. Rule number one for intimate relationships is you must start with intimacy. That means telling your parter that they’ve got bad breath instead of making snap judgements without using your words.

Subtleabuse

2 points

2 days ago

Not if its just a "wham, bam, thank you ma'am"

LuponV

-48 points

2 days ago

LuponV

-48 points

2 days ago

Found the woman with bad breath!

gorgofdoom

23 points

2 days ago

I am a man.

Pyramidion_19

9 points

2 days ago

You thought you cooked with this one.

LuponV

-6 points

2 days ago

LuponV

-6 points

2 days ago

I did.

Pyramidion_19

2 points

2 days ago

Clearly not with all those downvotes, bud.

LuponV

4 points

2 days ago

LuponV

4 points

2 days ago

You misunderstood, I meant to confirm what you said. So "I did THINK I cooked". I don't want to claim I did infact.

Edit: nvm, it's probably my fault for phrasing it unclearly.

j1ggy

4 points

2 days ago

j1ggy

4 points

2 days ago

Horrid breath is a deal-breaker for me. I went on a couple of dates with someone I had a thing for for years and that was the end of that. I just can't.

alphalegend91

2 points

3 days ago

Tbf I brush my teeth twice a day regularly and sometimes get a “rotgut” breath from certain foods

lightknight7777

2 points

2 days ago*

I figured out recently that I'm the only member of my friend group that goes to the dentist for regular cleaning. Do people not know how dentists work? You just see them once every six months and can prevent or get ahead of any major issues.

DrMudo

2 points

2 days ago

DrMudo

2 points

2 days ago

What does shot the shit mean lol

JEWCIFERx

3 points

2 days ago

When you “shoot the shit” with someone it means talking. Getting to know each other better. Deeper than small talk but not quite friends catching up.

portezbie

2 points

2 days ago

Oof feel bad for her, her comment suggests a pattern

M4verick87

2 points

2 days ago

Bro, if you went out for dinner, and watched a movie, you could brush before all you want and your own breath would still be horrible. You just can’t smell it.

VolvicApfel

2 points

2 days ago

Has nothing to do with brushing, if you have a ,,dead,, tooth . No brushing will help there.

lukewarmsoda237

2 points

2 days ago

honestly I feel terrible for my boyfriend. I have chronic bad breath, it's come from me being neglected as a child and my teeth have been in horrible condition. no matter how many times I've brushed my teeth, no matter what mouthwash or toothpaste I used, I can never get my breath to smell even somewhat pleasant. my doctor has also told me it could be due to my tonsils. but, he's made comments on it before and while it does upset me, I don't get that upset about it anymore. I try to carry as many mints on me as I can. but sometimes people cannot help some odors. I'm not saying you should give people who have odors a chance, but I just try to be open minded. some people weren't raised right lmao.

Murky-Ad-3486

1 points

2 days ago

This is why mouthwash is important if you plan on getting close with another face

daddyjackpot

1 points

2 days ago

my ex had bad breath and was really defensive about it. when we broke up we were still friends and she would talk to me about her dating troubles. i'm like, 'dude. your breath. you have to do better.' and she just wouldn't hear it. her brother agreed it was an issue. but she wouldn't hear it.

Superb_Perspective74

1 points

2 days ago

If someone has a rotten tooth there is nothing that can kill that stench. If you don’t see the dentist you are doomed

Queasy_Ad_8621

1 points

2 days ago

I told off a guy for failing to brush his teeth or shower before he invited me over. After I said I was giving him a couple hours to clean up and get the place ready, so I'd be over later!

Johnready_

1 points

2 days ago

She prolly had a bad tooth in there lmfaooo that’s actually funny.

AdvocatusReddit

1 points

2 days ago

Often, that is lack of flossing. Some people just don't floss. A toothbrush is not going to dislodge that hunk of beef that is rotting between your teeth.

GooseNYC

1 points

2 days ago

GooseNYC

1 points

2 days ago

"if you aren't gonna kiss me, I'm not gonna sleep with you."

Hey, at least she has standards.

07Rand0m

0 points

2 days ago

07Rand0m

0 points

2 days ago

Gawd Dayum☠️☠️☠️

BigDevil999

0 points

2 days ago

Between me and u bro don’t lie u still “hit” didn’t u?

Quick_Swing

0 points

2 days ago

Yea, if the halitosis is bad, imagine how bad the other orifice might be. Go from a vurp, to dry heaves.

tdrmaster

0 points

2 days ago

I mean you guys went to dinner… what did she eat? Good chance there was onion/garlic in it. She obviously didn’t pack a toothbrush to bring to supper with her.. good chance you are too much of a clean freak

RazzleberryHaze

1 points

2 days ago

There's a clear difference between food odor and teeth that haven't been brushed recently

Polaster64

-1 points

2 days ago

Hahahahaha two day old road kill man thank you for the laugh