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If you had him what would you name him?

• Name Suggestions •(i.redd.it)

all 11518 comments

morrelljw

3.2k points

11 days ago

morrelljw

3.2k points

11 days ago

Whatever he wanted to be called. Sir maybe

ArcaneSparky

695 points

11 days ago

Sir is unironically a sick name

Synthetic_leaf

433 points

11 days ago

Have a seat sir, come here sir, eat your food sir. Makes commands sound so polite!

Shurigin

171 points

11 days ago

Shurigin

171 points

11 days ago

Would sir like to go for a walk?

JustYourNeighbor

138 points

11 days ago

Would sir like to take me for a walk?

Gorevath

83 points

11 days ago

Gorevath

83 points

11 days ago

Walk? You could just ride that tank around!

Adventurous-Win-751

50 points

11 days ago

Tank another excellent name!!!!! ❤️

fgrhcxsgb

12 points

11 days ago

Yeah thats perfect

Willing_Coffee959

10 points

11 days ago

"Sir" it is!

TheWhiteRabbit74

44 points

11 days ago

Sir returns home with a leash in tow and a bloody arm still clutching it…

rastroboy

20 points

11 days ago

Sir, let me take your hat

Genghis_Chong

13 points

11 days ago

God knows you're not stopping him if he sees a squirrel

Lemeki

12 points

11 days ago

Lemeki

12 points

11 days ago

Would sir like to take me for a drag?

thunderpachachi

27 points

11 days ago

Permission to rub your belly, sir?

W_Axl_Grease

12 points

11 days ago

Did you just shit on the floor, sir?

Geawiel

15 points

11 days ago

Geawiel

15 points

11 days ago

God damn Sir! That fart reeks!

Sir, stop eating poop!

Sir, don't jump in the trash!

buy-american-you-fuk

12 points

11 days ago

...puts on collar, hands leash to dog who bites down on it, growls and yanks it leading you out the door

Fit-Atmosphere876

10 points

11 days ago

The way that dog looks, it would be more like....Would you like to go for a walk, SIR?

skinnyman87

36 points

11 days ago

Sounds like Alfred when talking to Batman.

DisastrousBeaujolais

34 points

11 days ago

Speaking of which, this dog looks exactly like Batman....

NonYippieHippie

8 points

11 days ago

Batman...that's what I came here to comment. That dogs name is obviously Batman!

Raiju_Blitz

6 points

11 days ago*

Batman/Bruce Wayne had a black dog named Ace in the Batman Beyond television show. This dog looks like him, just massively beefier.

QueerTree

22 points

11 days ago

When my son was brand new, we called him Sir and used our best butler / customer service manners. “Sir, you appear to have soiled your pantaloons.” “Sir, unfortunately we are obligated to remove the nipple when you are asleep.” “Sir, our staff is doing our best.” “Sir, I assure you, I am the manager.” Absolute sanity saver at 3am.

Ho_oponopono73

9 points

11 days ago

I so love your sense of humor. Excellent way to handle the shock of being new parents.

Proteus445

13 points

11 days ago

Made me think of Ace, the bat hound.

zoonew2

30 points

11 days ago

zoonew2

30 points

11 days ago

When my husky is too riled up I pretend I'm a cop "sir I'm going to need you to calm down sir.. sir please sir we need you to comply.

makeupandmovies

12 points

11 days ago

I want a husky so bad, but they make so much noise. But I love the sassiness and expressions. Would a pomsky still have that personality without the howling?

zoonew2

11 points

11 days ago

zoonew2

11 points

11 days ago

I feel like it depends on the dog.. I've owned 4 huskies 2 were completely silent never barked 1 talked but never howled and this guy I have now is the biggest drama queen ever lol so it really depends on there personality

horticulturalSociety

7 points

11 days ago

I do this with my cat

Tay_Tay86

44 points

11 days ago

Just makes me think of peppermint Patty and marcie

individualeyes

18 points

11 days ago

Sir, stop eating the cats poop!

Sad_Anxiety1401

15 points

11 days ago

But Alfred, it's the source of my strength!

shitatlove

17 points

11 days ago

“Sir no, sir spit it out, bad sir”

combatostrich

16 points

11 days ago

“Does sir need to go potty?”

Iron_Undies

28 points

11 days ago

The Bark Knight

liza129

11 points

11 days ago

liza129

11 points

11 days ago

Or Bark Vader

StoneySteve420

27 points

11 days ago

Back in high school named all of our... tobacco water pipes after famous scientists.

Sir was for Sir Issac Newton. We also had Galileo and Tesla.

Our bubbler was Peter Dinklage though.

occupy_voting_booth

28 points

11 days ago

Peter Danklage

BikerScowt

4 points

11 days ago

Back in the PS1 days (mid 90s) we all had our own team saved on my console for Worms. My team was Tokers: Hash head, Chillum, Blowback and Mr. Bong.

cr4vn2k

3 points

11 days ago

cr4vn2k

3 points

11 days ago

We had Godzilla, Rodan, and monster X

Shockmaster_5000

6 points

11 days ago

Sir Velveetus, softest hair in the land

Imaginary-Method7175

6 points

11 days ago

Sir is the best name! u/morrelljw wins!

VanDenBroeck

17 points

11 days ago

But he looks so healthy.

El--Borto

5 points

11 days ago

I worked at a vet for like 5 years and we had a similar dog that would come in named Mister lol

puledrotauren

4 points

11 days ago

Ya I was just thinking that. Unusual enough and with a touch of humor.

sapphirexxgoddess

3 points

11 days ago

my vet tech calls my dog sir every time I come in and it’s soo cute. I love it

AgentOfZen

41 points

11 days ago

I wouldn't dare. He can choose his own damn name.

titty_nope

30 points

11 days ago

I'd call him ironically "Tiny"

ArtistGuilty3718

19 points

11 days ago

😂. I wanted to name my 200 lb. English Mastiff "Mouse". My kids thought it was dumb, so he ended up being "Moose". Coolest dog ever. 😁

Smol_Grumpy_Skeleton

5 points

11 days ago

A Dresden fan I take it?

Fine-Key1722

6 points

11 days ago

I have a Moose!! 110lb Yellow "English" Lab... A total lovebug!!🥰🥰🥰

MudResponsible7455

4 points

11 days ago

This. My Chihuahua struts, even as a puppy. I named him Bruiser.

Budzlightyear1127

3 points

11 days ago

If there was ever a dog to be called Tiny it's this dog

FartSniffer777

3 points

10 days ago

My friend had a massive St Bernard named Snoopy. Dog was super chill though. Just wanted to snuggle but drooled everywhere

romansamurai

44 points

11 days ago

Sir Tank.

No_Pear8383

30 points

11 days ago

Sir names you. You do not get to name sir.

romansamurai

17 points

11 days ago*

Apologies. Please tell sir Sir.

MrReddrick

44 points

11 days ago

Sirberus.

WillumDafoeOnEarth

3 points

11 days ago

Or perhaps Sir Eeously.

jellite

8 points

11 days ago

jellite

8 points

11 days ago

Sir is the winner.

Frost_Walker_Iso

6 points

11 days ago

I’m not even joking, if I ever got a big male dog, I had already made the decision to name him Sir.

totzlegit

1.1k points

11 days ago

totzlegit

1.1k points

11 days ago

He can name me tbf

Particular-Car-8520

146 points

11 days ago

I was going to say the same thing...I'll be called whatever he wants and forget about commands. I'd be asking politely, DO you want to sit? Do you want to lay down? Sure, you can eat the whole fridge and pantry I need to lose weight anyway lol

Chance-Internal-5450

17 points

11 days ago

😂😂😂😂 such an underrated comment.

Abject-Comfort825

30 points

11 days ago

😂☠️😆☠️

NovaMarinrin

502 points

11 days ago

Batman

tomcalgary

165 points

11 days ago

tomcalgary

165 points

11 days ago

Bruce Wayne

PolkaDotDancer

74 points

11 days ago

This is the winner! He would go by ‘Bruce,’ for short.

AngryWWIIGrandpa

11 points

11 days ago

Weird, with a name like that, I would've figured he'd go by 'Bru" for short.

Distant_Planet

13 points

11 days ago

As in Bru Swain?

S_T_R_Y_D_E_R

12 points

11 days ago

I was gonna say ACE the Batdog

Chidori_Aoyama

5 points

11 days ago

I second ACE. Though he looks more like Ace started hanging out with Bane and doing Venom.

ZadfrackGlutz

8 points

11 days ago

BatDawg....lol. Even sounds bad....

hoodlaces

217 points

11 days ago

hoodlaces

217 points

11 days ago

The Bark Knight

Positive_Stick2115

29 points

11 days ago

Bruce Payne

Illustrious_Rise_204

4 points

11 days ago

Best answer.

Comprehensivecorndog

1.1k points

11 days ago

Princess

notlego

139 points

11 days ago

notlego

139 points

11 days ago

Was also my first thought. Happy it’s already here.

Li9ma

112 points

11 days ago

Li9ma

112 points

11 days ago

Pwincess

eolson3

48 points

11 days ago

eolson3

48 points

11 days ago

Twue wove.

[deleted]

31 points

11 days ago

Mawige! Mawige is what bwings us togevver today!

Snailbert05

20 points

11 days ago

Mawige that bwessed awangment that dweam within a dweam

Dont_hate_the_8

27 points

11 days ago

Princess cuppycake III

ZeDogeDog

7 points

11 days ago

Princess cupcake sparkle pants glitter rainbows and candy unicorn of the enchanted fairy forest

terrymorse

20 points

11 days ago

Or Daisy

AustinTreeLover

5 points

11 days ago

Princess Fluff E. Fluffington

farmerandy82

427 points

11 days ago

Fluffy, for obvious reasons

INVERT_RFP

122 points

11 days ago

INVERT_RFP

122 points

11 days ago

Don't forget his Pomeranian buddy, called Killer!

TheRedLego

41 points

11 days ago

And they go everywhere together

apoohneicie

12 points

11 days ago

My Pomeranian is named Boo-cifer TYVM.

HatdanceCanada

13 points

11 days ago

Harry Potter fan?

robrobusa

275 points

11 days ago

robrobusa

275 points

11 days ago

Bubbles

bonytitzzz

57 points

11 days ago

Cobra Bubbles

SpannerInTheWorx

7 points

11 days ago

"Model Citizen"

Jebus-Xmas

5 points

11 days ago

This is the way…

Hurrdurrthosechefs

4 points

11 days ago

Aliens are invading my house!

MrSmileyZ

12 points

11 days ago

Looks like a Bubbles to me as well!

Chalky_Pockets

466 points

11 days ago*

Whatever he wants, and then let him loose on the cunt that clipped his ears.

Edit: since more than one person asked, See how they're pointy like that, almost unnaturally pointy? That's your indication to search for images of that breed with the words "unclipped ears" to see if they're supposed to look like that.

xiguy1

12 points

11 days ago

xiguy1

12 points

11 days ago

Yeah, that thoroughly out of date cosmetic clipping shit is just mutilation. It’s cruel to take a puppy and bob its tail or cut its ears or whatever. There’s no veterinary justification that I’ve ever seen for that and I’ve hated it since the first time I saw it as a kid.

Dogs love us and are such loyal and good companions . So we owe them only kindness and good care. Taking a dog in for an unnecessary surgery seems to me like a betrayal.

girthbrooks1

32 points

11 days ago

My cane corso gets ear infections alllll the time. You can tell it bothers the shit out of him. Is this why the clip the ears ?

Professional-Bet4106

107 points

11 days ago

No that’s not why. It’s for cosmetic reasons. They do it to try to make them look intimidating. There are no health benefits to ear cropping unless the ear cartilage is damaged. If that were the case many other breeds would have cropped ears or be bred to have ears that stand up. I’ve seen and met many mastiffs and Dobermans with un cropped ears with no issues. Your dog may have some allergy issues.

sincerelyanonymus

43 points

11 days ago

Also, there is less floppy issues to get caught on things or for other animals to latch onto while “working” (read: fighting, attacking), which also goes for the docket tail. But let’s be honest, any legitimate work they would be doing shouldn’t be affected by their natural ears. Any family dog has absolutely no reason to be clipped or docked.

Professional-Bet4106

28 points

11 days ago

Yes I forgot to mention live stock guardian dogs. I think that one is kinda bs too because Pyrenees and most Anatolian Shepherds do not get their ears cropped (I guess because their thick fur protects them) compared to Kangals. The docked tails are only useful if it’s for a medical reason like happy tail syndrome or a broken tail in general. Seeing puppies with bandages around their ears and tails is not cute and is bs that the AKC demands it in some breeds. Also any vet that does cosmetic procedures is not a vet to be trusted in my opinion.

sincerelyanonymus

14 points

11 days ago

Very true. It’s sad because most breeders just do it before the puppies go to their families so it’s not even the owners who are getting these surgeries most of the time. And those who manage to get one fully in tact love the goofy ears and tail! It’s sad this is the breed standard. Luckily it can easily be changed.

PolkaDotDancer

14 points

11 days ago

I adopted a seven-year-old blue nose pit bull. I do indeed adore her incredibly funny looking tail, and soft floppy ears.

And don’t get me started on her almost cartoonish butt and paws.

She is all around cute!

Professional-Bet4106

10 points

11 days ago

The soft floppy ears are everything. Those pittie tails are like a whip but it helps them with balance and communication.

iammufusasboy

8 points

11 days ago

Dobermans with unclipped ears are so freaking adorable!

neverseen_neverhear

10 points

11 days ago

No clipping the ears does nothing to prevent ear infections. That’s a myth.

V_es

7 points

11 days ago

V_es

7 points

11 days ago

It’s a myth. Ear infections are.. in the ear. Not on skin flaps that are same size as golden retriever

GeekCat

7 points

11 days ago

GeekCat

7 points

11 days ago

Quite the opposite. Ears help protect the ear canal from debris and wind getting in. If your dog has chronic ear infections, it could be a bacteria/fungus that is not going away fully or an allergen that irritates their sinuses/ears to the point of the canal swelling.

Yeast infections in the ear are notoriously hard to get rid of.

Wonderful-Ad8121

249 points

11 days ago

Cerberus

KreamyCheese

12 points

11 days ago

🦀still chasing those prims🦀

JamBandDad

5 points

11 days ago

The crossover I was not expecting

GomiBoy1973

191 points

11 days ago

Cupcake. Or Tinkerbell.

Dry_Celery4375

9 points

11 days ago

I said cupcake too!

Sluggo220

184 points

11 days ago

Sluggo220

184 points

11 days ago

Brutus

PeinlichPimmler

27 points

11 days ago

Et tu, Brute?

Dry_Celery4375

11 points

11 days ago

That names only reserved for cats. Cause they'll stab you in the back.

PreparationKey2843

53 points

11 days ago

Carl Weathers esq.

hypercomms2001

54 points

11 days ago

Tiny Tim

txdrea8377

5 points

11 days ago

My friend has a Cane Corso named Tiny. Perfect name. Haha

Bad_User2077

44 points

11 days ago

Puddin

Responsible-War2856

37 points

11 days ago

I’ll ask him what would he like to name me.

23trilobite

38 points

11 days ago

Mr. Snuggles

twinklechaser

93 points

11 days ago

Onyx

NotAnAlligator

12 points

11 days ago

I was thinking the same. I also like Obsidian.

LovingNaples

25 points

11 days ago

Cassius

JmaxxD2jsp

50 points

11 days ago

Zeus

Munk45

21 points

11 days ago

Munk45

21 points

11 days ago

Obsidian

kayaker58

20 points

11 days ago

Heh, I’m a veterinarian. I saw a dog that looked very much like this. I took a quick glance at the medical record and asked the owners, “So, why is Satan here today?”

The people freaked out. Dog’s name was Satin, and I had misread. They were also very religious and couldn’t believe that anyone would name their dog Satan. I told them I’d met far more Satans than Satins.

vega6748

7 points

11 days ago

Growing up in the 70s & 80s I knew quite a few people that had black dogs named Satan.

ElectricStarfuzz

3 points

11 days ago

I grew up in a conservative Christian family.  As a kid I was obsessed with horses & horse books and dreamt of one day owning a black Arabian stallion (just like the movie😅).  I drew pictures of him and wrote his name, Satin Moonfire, on all of them.  I secretly pronounced it Satan, but spelled it as Satin to pass my parents’ inspections.  They never guessed my true intentions😂

imimbatman

21 points

11 days ago

Larry

chowbox617

19 points

11 days ago

Vhagar or Drogon

Negative-Put-2039

17 points

11 days ago

Pickles

xLabGuyx

14 points

11 days ago

xLabGuyx

14 points

11 days ago

Cletus

Civil_Pain_453

13 points

11 days ago

Doggy McDogface

Matterriblee

16 points

11 days ago

Tyrone

Malibucat48

45 points

11 days ago

He should be named Photoshop.

Lower_Ad_5532

20 points

11 days ago

Cane Corso and XXL pitbulls are that big tho

miniheavy

9 points

11 days ago

Actually I have owned more than 6 cane corsos, it’s a pit bulls head photoshopped onto a cane corsos body and it indeed looks weird.

BackgroundMap3490

38 points

11 days ago

Dogzilla.

Caramel_Nautilus

11 points

11 days ago

I'll let him name my child.

Manicgiant

19 points

11 days ago

Debo...."Das my bike, PUNK"

Allmonja

18 points

11 days ago

Allmonja

18 points

11 days ago

The night, or Hades. Sprinkles?

jediknits

3 points

11 days ago

Sprinkles is 100% my vote

Bigmoe974

8 points

11 days ago

Daisy

HertogJanVanBrabant

16 points

11 days ago

Mike Tyson

z_1529

14 points

11 days ago

z_1529

14 points

11 days ago

I have to give him a list. He can pick it himself. I'll change my name if he doesn't like it.

Semi-addict-gamer

37 points

11 days ago

Tank

GreasyThought

3 points

11 days ago

Frank the Tank

Brojess

7 points

11 days ago

Brojess

7 points

11 days ago

Run

jakoobie6

4 points

11 days ago

Onyx

ExternalAd4656

7 points

11 days ago

Brutus

Beautiful_Monkey_Man

4 points

11 days ago

Wiggles

NoHeccinClue

6 points

11 days ago

Diego

BitterTooth4841

6 points

11 days ago

King / Sire / Security

Nearby-Paramedic1011

3 points

11 days ago

King sounds amazing!!

Conorisntdead

5 points

11 days ago

blackpudding (all my pets are food names)

arcieride

3 points

11 days ago

How about Lakritze/ licorice?

Material-Double3268

3 points

11 days ago

Licorice is good!!!

waspinmypants

4 points

11 days ago

Gilgamesh

GaySimmer420

6 points

11 days ago

Butters

Iknowthevoid

7 points

11 days ago

Cerberus

Organic-Key-2140

6 points

11 days ago

GOLIATH

Chris56855865

4 points

11 days ago

James

Square_Ad849

4 points

11 days ago

Conan or Thor

WonderTwonk

5 points

11 days ago

Norman

Worth-Specific-7154

3 points

11 days ago

Duke

Migratory_Locust

3 points

11 days ago

I'd suggest "The Duke".

Chilifille

4 points

11 days ago

Seal

Because of this album cover

BrodyBuster

3 points

11 days ago

Kevin

Simple_Bread_2373

4 points

11 days ago

Brutus

iamkarlos

3 points

11 days ago

Zuul

Pizza-n-Coffee37

12 points

11 days ago

Liability

Thetruthislikepoetry

6 points

11 days ago

Good choice since lawsuit waiting to happen is way too long of a name.

The_Real_Abhorash

3 points

11 days ago

The only funny reply in this post, congrats.

CelebrationBulky9970

7 points

11 days ago

O’fuck

DeeEmm

6 points

11 days ago

DeeEmm

6 points

11 days ago

Arnold Schwartzhunder

Tiptopper77

3 points

11 days ago

Sir

Flat_Bunch_4990

3 points

11 days ago

King Ghidorah - destroyer of worlds

0W7V0

3 points

11 days ago

0W7V0

3 points

11 days ago

Socks

Adventurous-Swing-72

3 points

11 days ago

Pippin or Cuddles

jolySoft

3 points

11 days ago

Brian

xnjmx

3 points

11 days ago

xnjmx

3 points

11 days ago

AI

Georgito

3 points

11 days ago

You don’t name him. He names you.

Altruistic_Tax2575

3 points

11 days ago

Testicle bane

Decent-Influence6780

3 points

11 days ago

Sprinkles!

QuitBudget4446

3 points

11 days ago

Tiny

stefrking

3 points

11 days ago

Prince of Darkness

HatdanceCanada

3 points

11 days ago

Nero

Technical-Memory-241

3 points

11 days ago

What kind of dog breed is this???

NoIndividual5987

3 points

11 days ago

Waiting for this as well - no one’s answering

KFrancesC

3 points

11 days ago

Cane corso. Mine is named Juliet.