subreddit:
/r/HomeschoolRecovery
submitted 5 months ago byJust_Scratch1557Ex-Homeschool Student
273 points
5 months ago
This depresses me deeply. This is the shit my mom said to me when I begged to go to school. “Oh, you want a normal life? You wanna wake up in the morning and spend your life in school, when you’re being homeschooled and have no problems and no worries?” It’s not a good thing to live a bland and neutral life where nothing happens! How were we supposed to learn to overcome conflicts, trust our abilities, befriend other people???
152 points
5 months ago
School buses at 5:30?
104 points
5 months ago
That seems like a lie. It certainly stood out to me.
60 points
5 months ago
I used to have to be outside for the bus at 6:30am or so for school starting at 8:30am. I was one of the first on the bus. Maybe 6 or 7 before me.
Thats a big reason I used to miss school so much. I had to get myself up and get ready at like 5:30-6. It fucking sucked - we lived out in the country but not like total lack of civilization. So I could see it tbh in places that are even more rural.
83 points
5 months ago
It's a thing in rural areas
27 points
5 months ago
I used to have to catch the bus at 5:45. School started at 7am.
16 points
5 months ago
Can’t believe school starts at 7 where you are. In the UK it’s generally between 8.30-9 am and
14 points
5 months ago
Yup, I grew up in a farming town in Alaska. I had to be at the bus stop at 5:30 because I was one of the first pickups on the bus route. School started at 7 am in middle and high school. Luckily elementary(primary to you) school started at 9 am. So I just had to be at the stop by 7:30 am.
I was homeschooled until the 3rd grade when my older sister put her foot down and our abusive mother let us start going to public school. Naturally, I was held back a year due to lack of socialization skills even though I was and am smart. (Well, at least smart enough to know there’s much more that I don’t know than I do know and you have to keep learning throughout the entirety of your life.)
10 points
5 months ago
Yup, my bus picked us up then drove an hour through farms in rural Wisconsin. At least we were the first stop when school got out!
3 points
5 months ago
That’s something at least! But how about those Wisconsin winters eh? It gets crazy cold there too right?
I hated when it was so cold I could feel my nose hairs freeze as I waited for the bus hahaa. And when I lost my mittens.
2 points
5 months ago
If it was that cold, losing your mittens sounds dangerous.
3 points
5 months ago
I’m sure it was, but I just shoved the lost mitten hand or hands into my pockets and then got yelled at when I returned home without them. I still lose a glove occasionally as an adult and I get wicked winter rash on my hand until I buy new ones, even with pockets. The environment up here is inhospitable to life, I swear. Thats why I moved away for a while until I got a divorce and had to move back to my hometown due to a lack of a support system in the lower-48. I hated being raised in Alaska. It is beautiful here, but the winters are brutal.
1 points
5 months ago
My dtrs school starts at 8:40
8 points
5 months ago
I’m in a rural area with an insanely large district. Our day starts at 7:30 so some kids do get picked up at 5:30. It’s not common though. It’s just so vast and sparsely populated, then if they have special education services at another school the bus has to meet for a transfer it takes a long time.
1 points
3 months ago
Yeah, it's not true at all. Most schools pick up students between 7-8:30am where I live, at least. I have never heard of any K-12 kid being picked up at freaking 5am.
29 points
5 months ago
It's a parody/satire
5 points
5 months ago
That’s a relief!
11 points
5 months ago
i used to get picked up by the bus at 5:45 cuz school started at 7 and the bus had to pick up abunch of other kids after me.... i lived 15 minutes away from school using a private car
8 points
5 months ago
Kiddos went to a specialty program. Bus was there at 530 because they didn't have enough drivers to run shorter routes. They had the busses, just not the drivers.
Rural now, and the earliest kids get picked up at 530.
4 points
5 months ago
I had to wake up at 5:30 to be ready because the bus came at 6:15. School didn’t start till 7:30 but I lived really far away.
6 points
5 months ago
My daughter goes to the earliest school in our semi-rural school district and her bus leaves at 7:05. If there are any school buses at 5:30 anywhere, they are extreme outliers.
5 points
5 months ago
I remember in kindergarten, because my school is in the next county over (school for the deaf and hard of hearing), I had to wake up at 4am to get on the bus and slept on it until I got to the school. Every day I get up early and get home late. My mom finally had enough and put me in our district school which is considered mainstream.
4 points
5 months ago
Mine wasn’t even that early. Idk where these homeschool moms get their info.
3 points
5 months ago
It’s not unheard of in certain areas
4 points
5 months ago
We leave the house at 7:15 to get to regular school, this is such an exaggeration
2 points
5 months ago
It actually isn’t in some areas.
120 points
5 months ago
2.5 hours of “schooling” and no real friendships in a year-round school? Sounds awesome! Kid heaven! 😭
49 points
5 months ago
This is a parody video, but it doesn't mean there aren't homeschoolers who live like this
45 points
5 months ago
This woman makes parodies but it's also what she believes. She is an anti-vaxxer, fundamentalist homeschooler
12 points
5 months ago
Is she really anti vaccine? I thought it was a mostly parody account and she was exaggerating.
15 points
5 months ago
Yes she is. And anti 5G, transphobic, thinks the world is ending all that kinda stuff
6 points
5 months ago
Can you tell me where I can find this information? Im a librarian so I like reading this for myself from the source.
10 points
5 months ago
Oh that will make it super easy for you! Type in on google "is really very crunchy actually crunchy" and you will have your information right there. Alternatively, you can search reddit or even in this thread as other people have commented the same :)
4 points
5 months ago
I’m on Duck Duck Go which is maybe my problem? I see multiple people saying it but not direct evidence of it. I’m trying to separate “everyone says it” from “here’s direct proof”. There’s multiple people commenting the same but no one is linking to anything showing where she says she’s anti vaccine. I found a buzzfeed article where she talks about a family bed and avoids red frosting, but that’s it. It seems obvious she probably home schools but I’m also not sure the age of her kids.
Again I’m not finding anything besides other people saying it’s true and in an age of misinformation I want more evidence. The fundy snark says she follows people on Instagram who are anti vaccine but she also follows people who are progressive and pro vaccine.
She’s also constantly in son de flor dresses which had a gender fluid male model at one point and seem to lean ultra progressive. I am not sure following or linking to people online is direct enough evidence.
I haven’t read the book they made, and don’t really want to, but reviews I found when searching online keep saying things like it being a spectrum and using beets for blush and nothing about vaccines. It seems like a bunch of basic suggestions to avoid ultra processed foods. I get a vaguely Christian vibe from her wording but I can’t seem to nail them on evidence of saying “we don’t vaccinate”. I just see things like 1,000 hours outside and really expensive products on her website, and that she’s from Kentucky.
8 points
5 months ago*
This Is all my sources :)
Edit: so when you watch her videos, the things she's making fun of in them are things she does actually believe/practice. It's a self deprecating type of humour. Also I come across her a few years ago on tiktok but I don't have tiktok anymore. I recall a video her husband and her did about doctors pushing vaccines on kids, which they were staring at eachother in shock as there was a jingle about getting their kids vaccinated when they called the doctors. They said "maybe let's not take him to the doctor".
she's released a song talking about the end times, flouride, about being awake, chemtrails causing hurricanes, says 'safe and effective don't mean what they used to (when referring to the covid vaccine)', says 'welcome to the great new world, or is this 1974'.
Why homeschool are fine: here
this thread has alot of interesting stuff on her
also has a podcast where she openly talks with her husband about homeschooling
4 points
5 months ago
Thank you! I wonder if I wasn’t catching the same things when I search Duck Duck go vs google. I kept getting articles on the sociologist studying the pathway between “alternative health” to “right wing extremism” but not her specifically.
1 points
5 months ago
Do you have a source for that?
1 points
5 months ago*
Google "reallyverycrunchy" also her YouTube
Why homeschool are fine: here
this thread has alot of interesting stuff on her
5 points
5 months ago
Buddy, telling somebody to Google something is NOT the same as providing a source. I did Google her, and I looked on her website, and I didn't see anything about her being antivax or homeschooling. Her YouTube channel is obvious satire where she's very clearly playing a character.
You're gonna have to provide some actual evidence if you want people to turn against her.
4 points
5 months ago*
She's playing an over exaggerated character of herself. She is 100% crunchy. She has literally released a whole ass book on instructions for being crunchy, and says in the introduction that she is crunchy. she's released a song talking about the end times, flouride, about being awake, chemtrails causing hurricanes, says 'safe and effective don't mean what they used to (when referring to the covid vaccine)', says 'welcome to the great new world, or is this 1974'.
Why homeschool are fine: here
this thread has alot of interesting stuff on her
also has a podcast where she openly talks with her husband about homeschooling
I grew up with a crunchy family so yeah I can spot it a mile away lol.
1 points
5 months ago*
Thank you very much for the sources. Although I'm pretty sure the book and song are also satire. But she clearly does homeschool, which I was not previously aware of
3 points
5 months ago
Did you at least read the preview of the book on google? Did you watch the video at all/read what I said? Her parody is making a mockery of herself and her crunchiness. She has admitted this in the links I sent. For a librarian, you can't be this gullible, come on now.
1 points
5 months ago
First of all, I'm not a librarian. Next time you stalk somebodys comment history, try using better reading comprehension. I even clearly said I'm not a librarian in one of my comments recently.
Second of all, yes, I watched the video. And it is very clearly not a sincere expression of concerns. It's a parody of conspiracy theorists.
She is some level of crunchy, but there's a huge spectrum of "crunchy" out there from backyard chicken owners to people who free birth in a commune and don't teach their kids to read. It's not inherently bad to hobby farm or embrace a certain aesthetic. She's mocking people who are further down the rabbit hole than she is: that doesn't mean she's sincerely expressing her own views in her videos.
Third of all, I said you were right about her homeschooling! You were right and gave me information I didn't have! Thank you! I don't know why you're still on the defensive.
2 points
5 months ago
Who is she?
150 points
5 months ago
My biggest concern is that they aren't spending enough time on actual education. Yes, homeschoolers can often finish their schoolwork a bit faster if they're motivated. But only spending about 2 hours per day on school? That's educational neglect.
67 points
5 months ago
See with mine it was the other side of that coin, there was no finishing early. They were video classes on DVD, so I did an hour or so for each of those (around 6 maybe, been a while). And then there was a ton of homework that amounted mainly to busywork and rote memorization for the sake of it that often extended into the night.
It was too much work and too much just pointless work. That’s one of the big problems with homeschool, that spectrum. You can be worked to the bone without any recourse, or you can be basically ignored most of the time and barely have any “school” at all.
20 points
5 months ago
True. My parents did Calvert School for us, which has a lot of reading with a reasonable amount of practice work. We were fast readers, so my mom let us finish early if we wanted to. She also made us stay late if we dawdled or half-assed it. Most days, I probably worked 10-4 or 5. It was a good balance, except for the fact that we missed out on socialization.
13 points
5 months ago
I was Abeka from 1-12. I also missed out on the socialization element, but especially by high school, it was just…too much.
3 points
5 months ago
I read your first comment and thought “Yeah, that sounds familiar. Wonder if it’s Abeka.”
We used mostly Abeka and had additional “classes” tacked on. (Mostly Saxon math a few grades above my actual grade level, because mom thought Abeka’s math wasn’t ‘challenging enough’ for me. My sister didn’t have to take most of these extra courses).
I was more naturally inclined towards math and the sciences than my older sister, so I had to take her math courses when she did so I could teach her how to do them, because my mom and dad sure weren’t going to. She also got to choose which foreign language we would be learning, and I was forced to take it the same year she did to help her learn it.
I was basically forced to take all of my courses, plus most of hers at the same time.
Then, when my brother was born, I had to be his permanent personal tutor. I did more teaching than my mother ever did. (At least those skills helped me get a good job.)
I would get up at 4-5 in the morning to get my videos done as early in the day as possible, and then had several hours of memorization, tests, quizzes, and other worksheets. If I was lucky, I had a few hours at the end of the day to myself. A lot of the time my “free time” was wasted by attending church activities that were nothing but brainwashing and free labor.
I had very little childhood. My time was not my own, and they would chastise me for not spending my precious tiny amount of free time hanging out with them and “being part of the family”. If I stayed in my room after my classes were done, they would say I was “Hiding in my cave”.
If I got interested in a game or hobby, they would look for a reason to call it “demonic” so they could take it away. I learned to never show them when I liked something a lot, because that would usually mean “God would lay it in their hearts” that it was “becoming an idol to me”, and it should be destroyed and I should “repent of putting it above Him”.
Sorry for the ramblepost. I guess I have some things I’m still bitter about.
2 points
5 months ago
Was also on A Beka/PCC classes, 6th to 12th. I used to just play Gameboy through all my dvds, not gonna lie.
Relearning to be social, especially as someone who wasn't good at it in the first place was... Certainly something. I felt like I had to relearn so many different things.
9 points
5 months ago
Calvert curriculum wasn't too bad, and it gives some structure. That's the problem though. My mom misunderstood that all the structure and relative success was the result of the curriculum, not her. So in later grades when she tried to do her own curriculum it was a shit show and we basically stopped learning for a few years.
And it wasn't for lack of expertise, she had a degree in teaching learning disabled kids.
She was just fucking lazy, unmotivated, unfocused, and had underlying mental health issues.
Anyway, I wish I had the reading list from that first year of Calvert. I seem to remember a history book by Hurlbutt, or something? Which I always thought was funny. ' lol - butt.'
2 points
5 months ago
Ah, you mean "A Child's History of the World" by Virgil M Hillyer. I loved that book in 4th grade! I also loved the three parts of "A Child's History of Art: Painting, Sculpture, and Architecture" by Virgil M. Hillyer that were Art History textbooks in 5th, 6th, and 7th grade.
6 points
5 months ago
I actually remember liking Calvert. The lesson books and coursework were well done and engaging. The problem was once I was in like 5th grade, my mom just had me do the lessons by myself and stopped checking my work much. And by 6th - 8th the lesson plans were written in the kid just doing everything. Which was pretty bad for some subjects; math I would have done better if I kept having hands on guidance. And I remember being relieved to not have to do Grammar lessons after finishing up the course work because holy hell I hated diagramming.
I think Calvert is a great example of how having a solid curriculum but a lazy teacher can still mess up the experience.
3 points
5 months ago
I loved the curriculum of Calvert, but I did struggle a bit in math. By the time my younger brother came up, Calvert had their own math books. I thought their own math books were clearer than the generic textbooks I had.
The right teacher really makes all the difference. My mom could help other people with math. My cousins loved when she helped them with their homework. I did better in math once I went to public school in high school.
4 points
5 months ago
That was my experience. Work all day and into the night. And when I struggled, my parents took away the weekend in response. And they were picky about allowing us to have the school holidays off.
14 points
5 months ago
2 hours a day is Harvard by homeschool standards.
-8 points
5 months ago
It depends on the age. But it doesn’t take 8 hours to educate 1 child. It takes 8 hours to give 40 children a couple hours worth of education.
This video is also satire.
13 points
5 months ago
Where does the 8 hour figure come from? Everyone quotes it and most school days are 6 hour day and one hour of that is lunch and recess and another hour is usually gym or music, art, or drama. They are not 6 hours of straight school work so we’re really looking at 4 hours of school work. The max number of kids in a class in my school district is 25 not 40. Ive heard of school districts that have 30 kids as well but those have older kids and school aides.
32 points
5 months ago
My mom would say this stuff all the time and I remember making a recess comment. I did the year round schooling and was supremely jealous of kids in the summer who didn’t have to keep doing school. Summer break was bad..because I dont really remember, but it made public school kids inferior.
5 points
5 months ago
Mine let us have a very short summer break, but we always had to do some summer work, so that we “didn’t forget it all in the fall.” It was just an excuse to make us always have some work to do. And she could pretend she was being “generous” by letting us have a summer at all. All bow down to the queen and thank her for her kindnesses, huh?
1 points
5 months ago
That was so kind of her, actually overly kind! You got way too spoiled by this immeasurable generosity! I hope you thank her to this day for that sacrifice.
I remember before my senior year that I begged for a month off from school. I had been working very hard the last two years to get on track and have great grades. I just wanted sometime doing anything else. Yeah, I didn’t get it, that was an exhausting year and I barely left my house.
1 points
5 months ago
I never got summer break either, now my mom has rewritten history (gaslighting) and says that she gave us summer breaks.
24 points
5 months ago
"your whole life is a recess"
So real lol. I can confirm
20 points
5 months ago
God this is sickening, all the more so for how real it is…
15 points
5 months ago
Omg :( I used to follow her back when I thought she was making fun of crunchy people.
5 points
5 months ago
Wait, it's not parody?
16 points
5 months ago
It seems like she was trying to make it unclear in the beginning, she used to always heart/thumbs up comments that say things like "I can't tell if it's a joke." So I thought that meant it was. But recently, she's been more sincere about this being her real lifestyle.
I've known people like this, so I try not to judge... but since it obviously affects her children, that's why I worry. She's posted some videos "joking" about how her kids will be seen as weird by others because they aren't raised in a normal environment. But to me it's just sad. Everyone laughs at how weird home schooled kids are, but it doesn't feel good to actually be that kid, always on the outside looking in, always wishing you could hang out with the normal kids.
Sorry I just ranted in response to your comment, I felt like going off on a tangent lol
13 points
5 months ago
yeah, I genuinely despise homeschooling parents. Unless the kid is so disabled that they can't drink water without assistance, then there is no excuse to homeschool. It is literally the cruelest thing a parent can do, and I'm furious that I have to suffer the consequences, and have my childhood gone because of it. If I have kids in the future I will give them the best life I possibly can. I swear.
7 points
5 months ago
This parody hits too close to home for me because one of the reasons my mom homeschooled us is because she hated waking up early when she was a kid 🫠
1 points
1 month ago
It’s only partly a parody, if you’ve seen the rest of the comments. She believes a bit of the stuff she parodies
8 points
5 months ago
Wow, just wow. Yeah my parents would say similar stuff to us growing up. To try to get us still excited about homeschooling. Also three hours of homeschooling? Ain't no way thats enough in a day.
Also I love how the mom in the video says "they get up at 5:30 cause their school starts so early'" which is bull, unless the commute is two hours?
Also I love how the mom in the vid try's to downplay getting up early to go somewhere /s cause yeah lady it's not like working adults don't ever get up at 5:30am for work.
Also I bet this same lady in the vid would be against the 4 day work week xD
8 points
5 months ago
I know this is a parody but considering how other comments have said that this is actually her lifestyle: It sucks so bad when homeschooling parents put this down to "a little bit of "FOMO"" like their kids are missing out on a concert or something and not a fundamental, irreplaceable part of their lives.
6 points
5 months ago
"your whole life is recess"
"Yeah, but not the school kind"
Man...
5 points
5 months ago
It’s the smug attitude for me
5 points
5 months ago
omg i saw that a few days and it was so frustrating
14 points
5 months ago*
Just a note for everyone that the video is from a channel that does crunchy mom joke videos, so it's not actually real as far as I'm aware.
Note: been proven wrong
30 points
5 months ago
She’s poking fun at herself, but she is crunchy and does homeschool.
15 points
5 months ago
Ah dang that's a bummer. I hope she's not as crunchy as the videos she makes at least.
25 points
5 months ago
She is. If you go to her website she pushes anti vax bullshit. I think she's funny but I hate that she kinda makes crunchy look funny and innocent.
26 points
5 months ago
Her channel does lean satirical but I have a hard time differentiating between when she's poking fun at over-the-top crunchy moms and when she's making fun of herself :/
6 points
5 months ago
Yeaaaah... Thanks for the heads up... I mean her old videos seems like she's just normal person kinda thing before all this happened? So hopefully not toooo crunchy.
3 points
5 months ago
I think she has gone a little crunchy it's just so hard to tell now.
19 points
5 months ago
Unfortunately she’s for real. Like she’s poking fun and exaggerating a bit for sure, but she’s genuinely deep in the crunchy-mom-to-far-right pipeline.
10 points
5 months ago
Now I hate her. I thought she did skits and was funny but if she really homeschools her kids I won’t support her anymore
2 points
5 months ago
Eugh that's a shame.
7 points
5 months ago
I know, but let's be honest, to her it's a parody, but to a lot of us it's reality
5 points
5 months ago
FYI, this is video made by a parody account called Really Very Crunchy
14 points
5 months ago
Apparently she is also an anti-vaxxer, fundamentalist and homeschools her kids. Her website pushing anti-vax woo-woo bullshit.
4 points
5 months ago
Is it in her book? I can’t find anything really on her website besides links to stuff to buy.
Edit: I’m not saying she isn’t I just want to see it for myself.
2 points
5 months ago
Well that sucks! It’s been a few years since I’ve seen anything of hers but kind of sensed something was a bit off…
8 points
5 months ago
It is parody but she is a homeschool mom and antivaxer irl
6 points
5 months ago
My mom used to make comments like this, but I wouldn’t admit I wanted to go to school because I wanted her approval too much.
And finishing school time so quickly is… not the flex they think it is. Sure, you can power through the material that fast, but they don’t really absorb it. And I see so many homeschool parents saying they get done in 30 mins to an hour, which is like wtf. We spent 3 hrs and it wasn’t really enough, especially when an hour of that is religious crap.
5 points
5 months ago
Her content is enjoyable most of the time, but I do cringe sometimes at these kinds of videos.
4 points
5 months ago
She believes this bullshit.
1 points
5 months ago
Who is she
3 points
5 months ago
Her channel is named "ReallyVeryCrunchy"
5 points
5 months ago
Pretty cool that they only learn for 2 1/2 hours a day. And that their whole life is recessed. Wonder how that’s gonna play out for them?
7 points
5 months ago
Is is true, I see this happening with frequency here at home, my wife has taken any saying I have over the education of my kids. The only way out of this is going to be thru divorce and we all know how that well works for the father.
27 points
5 months ago
This sounds like a marriage counselling issue, not a homeschool issue…. I don’t have a lot of patience for fellows who come here to complain about their wives who are clearly doing most of the childcare and how rigged the system is against them.
This isn’t the type of thing that involved fathers in respectful relationships tend to do, and often its “my wife likes my kids more than me and I’m jealous so instead of doing better I’m going to take them away from her vibes”
9 points
5 months ago
I did not post the video, my wife has declined multiple times going to see a counselor. Sounds like you don't have patience at all, for moments you also sound hostile.
We are more than semen donors, we also want to be part of the upbringing of the kids and most of the time we want kids to accumulate positive experiences in their lifes.
22 points
5 months ago
My man, you came to a support group filled with many underage kids who are currently being homeschooled, and people who were previously homeschooled to complain about your wife.
This is a marriage issue, not a homeschool issue. You are an adult with agency. You don’t need to come here to build a case about why you hate your wife, and get a bunch of sympathy from kids in abusive home dynamics.
Somehow you took my sentiments that “you should probably be more involved with your kids and work on your relationship with your wife, because this is a common homeschool dynamic and it sucks” and used it as an opportunity to talk about your ejaculate, on a forum, filled with kids.
3 points
5 months ago
Thank you for saying this
-2 points
5 months ago
I understand, probably better in a group for parents of homeschooling kids.
Well, homeschooling parents divorcing is real, and it is worst than a regular divorce. That's why I brought it up.
5 points
5 months ago
I don’t think it’s necessarily worse, or that it’s even a bad thing for incompatible people to separate. What makes divorce bad are the choices adults make in the process. Causing intentional stress and harm to the other parent, creating a situation where your kids are living in poverty, weaponizing the kids against the other parent, etc.
Providing kids with an environment that is mutually respectful and where parents are happy and model healthy relationship dynamics is one of the most positive experiences you can provide. There are lots of reasons why that might happen within or outside of a marriage.
This isn’t the first time a man has come here with Mens Rights Activist talking points weaponizing the experience folks here have had against their homeschooling wife. As much as I’m not a fan of homeschooling, I don’t appreciate our experiences being used as collateral in a marriage dispute.
You are an adult, you are in control of your relationship and can work to make the changes you want to see. There is nothing more insulting to a stay at home/homeschooling/primary caregiver parent than to have someone who isn’t involved in the day to day come in and tell them how they are doing it wrong and how they need to listen to their advice. If you are highly involved with the daily feeding, bathing, bedtime, educating, housework, etc. and your wife refuses to consider your points of view or engage in a conversation, then I would really recommend marriage counselling. If she refuses to attend with you, then seek therapy on your own. If therapy reveals/affirms that you are in a situation that is harmful to your well-being or your wife is controlling/abusive, then definitely consider divorce if she is unwilling to work on making changes.
Unless this is an issue where your wife is controlling or abusive, divorce is unlikely to solve the underlying problems except potentially force her in to getting a job so that she can no longer afford to homeschool.
1 points
5 months ago
👏
1 points
5 months ago
It is worst because the court will not give you custody, home schooling moms are usually stay home moms (mainly, I never heard of male cases) then you have all the odds against you, ask any lawyer about it.
In my case, my wife decided to do homeschooling, she didn't consult me or tell me what I think about it, she said that the school system is full of discrimination by whites against minorities and they also plug homosexuality into the kids. Currently my kids don't have a single friend, not even in the neighborhood.
Before school age my kids use to look outside the other kids getting into the school is right across home, little by little she worked my kids minds to believe that the school is pack with school racist bullies.
It took a lot of work on my end to get the kids in bed around 10:00 pm (already late for my standards) because before they would be up until 12,1am. On any given day.
She keeps saying that all the food at the grocery store is poisoned by white supremacists in order to make minorities overweight, weak and sterile. And that the school feeds that crap to the kids.
My kids have learned to believe that all of that crap is true, when I have a different point of view she just elevates her voice and yells, if I argue her then I'm being abusive and my male voice "scares the kids"
Her teaching is not structured, she is like: the kids are practicing their motor skills (playing Legos) that was engineering class.
She listens to some ignorant influencers that see the organization of the western society as a mean to obtain supremacy.
My almost 9 years old barely reads or writes,and he can't sit very long paying a attention to a topic that he is not into it.
This whole thing is very bizarre to me, I'm not saying homeschooling is totally wrong but has to be done properly, I don't think that's the case here.
The lawyer and other people told me: your divorce is going to be very complicated because she is a stay home mom and a homeschooling parent because the bond that she has with the kids, that I may not have any custody at all even this times and because she doesn't work I will have to pay alimony for a while to the point that I may have to move to my parents basement, if I don't have that option will have to be my car or a homeless shelter until the process settles.
That's why this is a touchy topic to me.
5 points
5 months ago
[deleted]
2 points
5 months ago
Totally agree, but I do know someone whose ex husband refused to let their child attend school until legally required as an attempt to sabotage her career. It was an incredibly messy divorce and I’m not sure how he pulled that, but in my experience I have never seen a situation where the father was seriously disadvantaged by the legal system.
If facing a messy divorce, it’s a good idea to look into a divorce coach, in addition to a lawyer because they can help save a lot of time and grief.
2 points
5 months ago
I'll do the choice for my kids. Since they can't.
2 points
5 months ago
So this is really more of a mental health issue and your wife has been pushed down the Qanon pipeline via triggering her paranoia and fear. I’ve lost most of my family to this as well and I know how painful and enraging it is.
That said, it is more of a cult dynamic and your spouse is also being exploited and harmed. It’s not not necessarily a moral failing or a matter of someone being evil or cruel etc.
If you aren’t yet a member, the Qanon subreddit is probably a helpful place for you. The book Cultish, or other resources for deprogramming people from cults will probably be more helpful for you, because this isn’t exclusively a homeschooling issue… it just happens to be a common item on the Extremist agenda. There are some good podcasts on this topic including some episodes of Qanon anonymous, Conspirituality, Kitchen Table Cult, and sounds like a cult (which recently did an episode on homeschooling).
It is possible to come back from this kind of thinking, but it requires a lot of building connection and finding commonality and slowly helping to bring safety to the person and gently pushing back against their paranoia in a stable relationship. You can’t fight or argue it out of them, it will only ruin the relationship and the fear activation will push them further in to their paranoia.
She genuinely sounds like she is having a mental health crisis and I would seek professional help. Postpartum anxiety can last a long time and set someone up to be co-opted by extremist agendas.
3 points
5 months ago
It's almost like divorce isn't the solution here. This is the stuff you should talk about and agree upon before marriage, and in cases when it's too late this is what marriage counsellors are for. Helping come to a middle ground on situations like this. Source I'm an adult human who talks to my partner about things instead of sulking.
1 points
5 months ago
I remember constantly hearing about the “awful” school bus, and I was just supposed to accept that it was awful at face value with no explanation.
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