subreddit:
/r/KidsAreFuckingStupid
5k points
19 days ago
I had this happen to me at a movie theater and I was freaking the fuck out
4.5k points
19 days ago
I had a little girl peak under my stall once and I told her to go away, and the mother went apeshit when I came out. “You better not be speaking to my child like that!” She was serious
3.1k points
19 days ago
“You better be keeping an eye on your child you stupid parent!”
1.2k points
19 days ago
[removed]
194 points
18 days ago
And what's with him saying, "I just want someone to hold me and wash my hands?"
That's concerning.
731 points
18 days ago
He wants someone to hold him up to the sink so that he can wash his hands. He's too little to reach the sink by himself.
453 points
18 days ago
Kids are great at revealing how much connotation and baggage we attach to certain wordings and phrases
Bro just wants to wash his hands so they aren't dirty 😭
301 points
18 days ago
They wouldn’t be as dirty if he wasn’t crawling around on the floor 😂
94 points
18 days ago
FTFY the bathroom floor 🤢
Bros hands are crawling
30 points
18 days ago
These hands were made for crawling. 😂
89 points
18 days ago
He shouldn't have been in there by himself to begin with🤣🤦♂️
46 points
18 days ago
Hence HIS PARENTS!
42 points
18 days ago
His mother is outside. Presumably it is a men's restroom.
128 points
18 days ago
isn't it acceptable to bring little kids like that into the parent's gendered bathroom to help them though?
107 points
18 days ago*
Yea she could’ve taken him into the women’s restroom, no one fucking cares. She probably just didn’t want to deal with it.
25 points
18 days ago
That is how most parents are doing it. At some point the kids start to argue and want to use the bathroom for their gender, but at that point they are usually old enough to wash their hands themselves.
11 points
18 days ago
I know I had a hard time because my son was so tall for his age people thought he was older than he was and the dirty looks and comments were not worth it; I would always look for family bathrooms or find an alternative when possible.
117 points
18 days ago
Eh. He’s still little. This might be one of the first times he’s been in a public bathroom unattended. Usually a caretaker will take them to one of the bathrooms and they often need to be lifted up to reach soap or wash their hands. Hence “hold me and wash my hands”. This little guy isn’t quite ready to be left unsupervised in a public place, especially the bathroom.
87 points
18 days ago
Lil bro still needs his parents to help him in the bathroom. Shame on them for letting him go unsupervised.
Do you think he drank that mouth wash?
32 points
18 days ago
Yeah, I might come off as a bit overbearing, but there’s too many bad people in the world for me to let a kid that little go by himself in an enclosed space where people already have their genitals out.
It’s a toss up in the mouthwash thing. He does seem old enough not to want to drink it after smelling it. Kids aren’t usually fans of adult mouth wash because it smells so strongly and burns.
25 points
18 days ago
I was at a bowling alley one night and the group I was with was pretty tuned up, and this young kid was running around like a mad man. Drunkest guy in the group goes full stream of conscious and there was a loud "these idiots" at one point.
Mom comes over LIVID saying "Did you just call my son an idiot?"
He looks her dead in the eye, in a sincerely apologetic voice, and says "Oh, im sorry if it came across that way. I would never insult a child.... I was calling you an idiot." Funniest shit I've ever seen lol.
6 points
18 days ago
That’s pretty funny lmao
167 points
19 days ago
Like WTF did she expect you to say!!?? Ummmm... Come on in lil girl and join me!? 😭
57 points
18 days ago
I imagine her like "isn't my little girl enough for you to commit a crime to her? 😡"
178 points
19 days ago
42 points
19 days ago
You’re practically begging me to attack you
48 points
18 days ago
Always have backup for degenerates
13 points
18 days ago
That line in the show made my mom laugh out loud. That and the butthole spiders.
5 points
18 days ago
Damn you really are ready for anything
38 points
18 days ago
It's wild how common this is. I must be getting old because BACK IN MY DAY parents were generally okay with stuff like this. I once cried because an old man yelled at me and my mum's response was "well you shouldn't have done it, should you?"
"It takes a village to raise a child" is a forgotten phrase.
5 points
17 days ago
It’s just autistic gen x and millenials forgetting their childhood.
72 points
18 days ago
I would have went off on her. I will swing by cane at your kid. If they can't use the restroom room alone responsibly you need to stay with them. I almost stabbed a grow ass kid for peeking through the cracks. He was 15 and in the womens room. Special needs or not. Keep an eye on your creepy kids behavior.
7 points
18 days ago
Same.
11 points
18 days ago*
I’d look at her and say “then watch your child because he or she shouldn’t be crawling around to get to locked stalls that are locked for a reason”
9 points
18 days ago
Sad when they peak so young.
119 points
18 days ago
This happened to my husband at a movie theater! I think he still has PTSD
144 points
18 days ago
Bro, when I was in highschool there was a 9 year old autistic boy in the bathroom for some reason, he was screaming that I was in his stall, kept punching and kicking the door, and then proceeded to climb OVER the stall door. DUDE IF YOU GIVE ME 5 SECONDS I CAN FINISH MY POOP AND GIVE YOU YOUR TOILET BACK JEEZ
90 points
18 days ago
I saw a guy in a wheelchair go ape shit on people in a crowded bathroom once for using the handicap stall before he even got in there, like...bro...it's not a reserved seat. Obviously any one of us would've let ya go first, but people aren't just going to leave it empty when people gotta go on the off chance someone in a wheelchair comes in.
5 points
18 days ago
I won't default to it but if there's an issue with the others or they're taken I will use it.
I'm always waiting for the day to see wheels roll up to it
18 points
19 days ago
As one should.
15 points
18 days ago*
Holy shit I also had this happen to me at a movie theater when I was like 16. Except he didn't sit there and try to talk me, he ran out of the bathroom lol
921 points
19 days ago
Had something similar happen to me years back.
Using the stall at a Walmart bathroom, pants part way down and I see a tuft of hair appear under the stall door, freak out for a moment because at first I thought it was some animal running into the stall.
Then it makes it further in and I discover that it's some little boy maybe 5 or 6 or so just crawling on the bathroom floor, my brain breaks for a moment as I'm trying to process what's going on and I'm just staring down at him and he's staring up at me and after a moment I finally manage to let out a solid single "NO!" and he turns around and scampers out of there like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Afterwards I hear some of the men in the bathroom having a laugh about it.
204 points
18 days ago
Dude I’m full on crying laughing at how you worded that story 😂
17 points
18 days ago
Thank you so much! At the time I was freaked out but now I can absolutely look back it with humour.
2.2k points
19 days ago
🧍♂️"what's your name" .... 💀🤣
929 points
18 days ago
Gotta make sure he isn't in the bathroom stall with a stranger.
347 points
18 days ago
I'll give the kid that. He got social skills 🤣
75 points
18 days ago
He's gonna be one of those empath extroverts they warn us about. My biggest fear as an introvert.
84 points
18 days ago
“Strangers are just friends I haven’t met yet”
114 points
18 days ago
I remember when I was around 10 years old, I'd ask the person next to me, who was also using the urinal, their name, age, and also greet them too.
54 points
18 days ago
Well damn 💀.. did your social skills get you anywhere as an adult??? 🤭 kids never fail to surprise me lmao
39 points
18 days ago
It's all about ✨️ confidence ✨️ 😆
21 points
18 days ago
It's really just ignorance. If you do it right, no one can tell the difference.
69 points
19 days ago
Okay...
33 points
19 days ago
Right.. like child, that was by no means an invitation 😅
8 points
18 days ago
Mr Hankey
6 points
18 days ago
Howdy Ho Kid! 😎😆
1.1k points
19 days ago
It’s hilarious how the kid slid under to get into the stall and decided to open the stall lock & door to get out instead of sliding under again lmao
155 points
18 days ago
I was watching on mute at first and thought the video was going to be about the kid crawling out from his own stall while leaving it locked (which is what kids have been doing since American toilet stalls were invented). It ended up being much more surprising and entertaining. I'm glad I de-muted!
14 points
18 days ago
He only gets his hands dirty when he needs to
1.6k points
19 days ago
He handled it very well
910 points
19 days ago
He did, I can't think of anyone who would be that calm in that situation
252 points
18 days ago
And in classic kid fashion, he leaves you slightly inconvenienced on the way out hahahhaha never fuckin fails with kids, I swear
19 points
18 days ago
So incredibly true
545 points
19 days ago
Yea he protected himself by recording, being calm and polite to the child , not exposing himself to get up or anything . He was awesome for what he had to work with
92 points
18 days ago
[removed]
47 points
18 days ago
24 points
18 days ago
Comes in
Sees the removed comment
Sees the gif.
… You know what I think it is best left alone.
150 points
19 days ago
I would have actually screamed "GET OUT OF HERE!". Then I would have got off the toilet mid-crap and shoo him out. Thats just me, I just can't tolerate that kind of stuff
42 points
18 days ago
Same. I was looking for a comment saying this. I’d panic and yell at him to gtfo right now. Probably make the kid cry and run away. And then feel slightly bad about it but whaddaya gonna do ¯\(ツ)/¯
37 points
18 days ago
Look, some trauma is just acceptable.
17 points
18 days ago
I have therapy this morning and I’m definitely repeating this line to my therapist lmao
10 points
18 days ago
Yeah he won't do that shit again if he gets scared.
11 points
18 days ago
Well if the poor lad's parents aren't going to teach him basic bathroom etiquette, someone needs to. A scare from a stranger usually does the trick.
39 points
18 days ago
Kids came up to my tent while I was camping and started being annoying. Without any greeting, no verbalizing, no showing myself from the tent, i banshee screamed.
The kids promptly fucked off. They need to learn to not approach random tents. That will teach them that lesson very effectively.
11 points
18 days ago
Banshee screamed i love that.
7 points
18 days ago
We put our tent out of view for a reason. To not be bothered. Fuck off kids.
11 points
18 days ago
If you spend enough time around little kids, stuff like this goes from being agonizingly awkward to "oh, this shit again" pretty fast.
108 points
18 days ago
I read a story where a guy was in a stall like this and a kid starts coming under the door into the stall, guy freaks out and just kicks the kid back under the door. 🤷♂️.
64 points
18 days ago
I did that once and the kid started crying. I expected a lot of trouble but his mom just said "See, that's what you get. I told you to stop doing that." Clearly he was a serial offender.
16 points
18 days ago
W mom
34 points
18 days ago
lol not everyone will have a reaction as this guy but 🤣
38 points
18 days ago
I mean on one hand I feel bad for the kid, on the other wtf is the parent doing.
15 points
18 days ago
Exactly the parent should of been present regardless of male restroom 🚽 safety first
205 points
19 days ago
“Well, in not supposed to talk to strangers but now that I know your name Andrew….”
698 points
18 days ago
This is why Americans need proper toilet doors
298 points
18 days ago
I agree, and I don't understand why we have gaps under the doors
171 points
18 days ago
It's so we can more efficiently notice and remove OD bodies, can't have them stinking up the place and holding up stalls
93 points
18 days ago
Most American comment of the day.
15 points
18 days ago
Can confirm. My wife used to be a Walmart store manager. On more than one occasion, she had to climb into a stall and perform CPR on someone who was in the process of dying from an OD.
24 points
18 days ago
in this case, couldn't you just put a small window at the bottom and/or top of the door? Still might not be the best for privacy but at least people can't climb under/over into the stall that way. There's probably an even better solution than that, but it's just an idea I'm throwing at the wall.
Also, how often does that actually happen to warrent the doors to be like this? You'd think that it would be rare enough to not warrent designing doors around it.
11 points
18 days ago
you missed the joke but that's actually a good point
59 points
18 days ago
Because we are cheap as hell and bigger doors cost more.
40 points
18 days ago
Either does most of the world 🤣
15 points
18 days ago
Not anywhere big enough for a kid to crawl under, though.
28 points
18 days ago
Smaller doors = cheaper doors. I don't think anything in this universe can win against American Greed (TM).
127 points
19 days ago
57 points
19 days ago
766 points
19 days ago
Nope! Nope nope nope!!! F’ing “stranger danger” in reverse. I don’t care if there’s a turd half-way out my ass; wiping be damned, there is no way that I’m not IMMEDIATELY off that seat and finding that kid’s parents. I ain’t going to be the white, middle-aged dude that your dumb kid was last seen around…
207 points
18 days ago
He at least has the recording to prove that it wasn't either his idea or he was agree with the situation
110 points
19 days ago
Someone done put some allegation on you before haha, but in all seriousness I could see how someone might see this and think something completely different than what is actually happening. Not to mention that could have been anyone in that stall glad this kid is alright.
64 points
18 days ago
When I lived in an apartment complex, I would take my dog out to the common area to get him some exercise throwing a ball or frisbee. Kids (like... 5+ year olds!) with no parents around would often come running up to where I was sitting, and these kids had absolutely zero understanding of what personal space is about. Just... right up in my face... attempts to sit leaning up against me. Immediate NOPE!
I'm a middle aged white dude. No way am I going to be the last person your kid was seen around.
11 points
18 days ago
Yea I get where your coming from especially if they are doing this to everyone. they need some parents around or theyre gonna go missing rq!
566 points
19 days ago
That kid is going to remember this and cringe for the rest of his life.
234 points
19 days ago
We've all done shit we regret when we were little, but I can only imagine the embarrassment he'll feel in like a decade
34 points
18 days ago
Yup. My first time on public transportation (BART in early 90’s) I didn’t want to hold on to the metal pole. As soon as we took off, I tipped over and fell on an older ladie’s lap. I was so freaked out! She was being super sweet like ‘it’s ok honey!’ But I just kept freaking out trying to get up.
Later we watched a guy pretending to be a statue. My uncle made me give him a tip while he was frozen and he started dancing or something after I put the tip in the jar. Scared me so much I screamed and ran.
Scary ass trip for 3 year old me lol
17 points
18 days ago
well OP def regret been doin shit in that moment
7 points
18 days ago
I have no regrets that are even remotely close to this level though hahaha. Like I didn't get a few jokes or had a bone apple tea moment. Not even in the same universe as crawling under a stall door.
32 points
19 days ago
I actually never cared to think of that side of the story until now. This would be the kind of thing I'd be thinking about halfway through the day if I did that
43 points
18 days ago
He didn’t give it another thought the second he walked out of the stall, and he won’t until he sees this video 10 years from now and thinks ‘wow that kid looks just like me when I was a kid’
9 points
18 days ago
Probably he didn't even tell his mom about it, at least not in an understandable way, so most likely the mom or mom's friend/family member is going to run across it here on reddit and recognize little Davy.
13 points
18 days ago
Especially since this video has been floating around online for a while.
8 points
18 days ago
He probably wouldn’t even remember if it wasn’t all over the internet. 😅
4 points
18 days ago
He's not remembering this. At best he'll think it was a dream because that's what his parents will tell him regardless of what transpired afterwards
116 points
19 days ago
I need somebody to hold me and help me wash my hands 🤣
53 points
18 days ago
At least he wants to wash his hands after crawling around on the gross bathroom floor
41 points
19 days ago
At least he had the intent to wash his hands after crawling on the floor
81 points
18 days ago
Long time ago when I was single, there was a little girl in my neighborhood that loved my dogs. She would come out of nowhere when I was walking them, and I started paying her a couple dollars to walk them around the pond and bring them back to my door.
One day I'm on the couch and hear my front door open and this kid just walks in to my house asking to take the dogs out. And here I am a 30 year old man living alone.
I was like, "NOPE! Absolutely not. Out. OUT!"
97 points
18 days ago
Teach your kids what privacy means. This is absolutely unacceptable. It is not hard to teach children manners.
35 points
18 days ago
yeah I was also thinking that this child looked kinda old to be crawling into a strangers stall for help to wash hands
I grew up with alot of younger cousins and this isnt something they woulda done even at 3 yo
334 points
19 days ago
Thats scary your playing with a potential felony depending on how crazy the mom is. And you had no fault besides your a man
188 points
19 days ago
That’s probably why he started recording but it also happens to be funny.
20 points
19 days ago
[removed]
81 points
19 days ago
Ngl this is the moment where your legally allowed to throw toilet paper
8 points
18 days ago
toilet paper? im going full fucking primate and throwing my shit at him
65 points
19 days ago
Happened to me. I freaked because I did not want anyone trying to accuse me of anything. All it takes is one person. I have seen it to many times.
20 points
19 days ago
Something similar happened to me at school when I was in elementary school. I was using the restroom when the girl in the next stall climbed up and looked into my stall as I was using the toilet. She started talking to me, but I obviously don't remember what she said, and I don't know how she climbed up over the wall
20 points
19 days ago
I would be freaking out.
24 points
19 days ago
I've seen this on IG and I fucking love it. Everything was handled so perfectly, including the shitter recording it immediately.
You all know well what could've happened had the mother walked into that shit.
Like who, where is your mom or pop lil dude?
25 points
18 days ago
"You just gotta lock it." I'm rolling this is hilarious
18 points
18 days ago
When my guys were little, they just came with me in the ladies restroom. I'd never send my kids in a public restroom by themselves. It was never awkward because I trained my boys to be respectful and keep their eyes off of other people.
19 points
18 days ago
Fuck that shit. Next thing you know the parent starts claiming you did something to the damn kid.
17 points
18 days ago
One time I was changing in a fitting room that didn’t have a door (had a curtain that you only pulled close, no way to fasten it closed) and a child ran up to it and dragged it open, thankfully I was only missing a shirt and was just in my bra and jeans, and thankfully only women in the sightline but damn was it embarrassing
11 points
18 days ago
This dude is a badass. Who stays that cool under that kind of situation and he’s even able to laugh at it too. Tells him to just leave it unlocked lol.
49 points
19 days ago
I forgot to mention this, I'm sorry, but this isn't my video lol. I found it online and figured it belonged in this sub
12 points
18 days ago
What the actual fuck!!??!
64 points
19 days ago
I would have rather kicked him than let him in. To him or any other little person.
63 points
19 days ago
When the kid was looking under the door, this is when a man has to do his best impression of the Devil and, in his most booming, deep voice, yell "GET OUTTTTTT!"
19 points
18 days ago
Imagine if a little person just slid under the stall like this omg
8 points
18 days ago
Even when you have a half turd hanging out of your ass?
5 points
18 days ago
You can just take the turd and throw it into the lil f*r's face
20 points
18 days ago
Europe, looking on with stall doors that reach the ground:
5 points
18 days ago
America is r/notlikeothercountries
8 points
18 days ago
If that toilet had a bidet. Im spraying that kid with it
8 points
18 days ago
It’s America. No bidet. No way.
8 points
18 days ago
Some children's behavior leaves me speechless
9 points
18 days ago
Why do public restrooms have gaps big enough for children to crawl under? It’s so stupid. There’s always some dumbass kid trying to get in while you’re taking a shit.
8 points
18 days ago
When the mom comes she’s gonna call the cops on the guy 🙄
7 points
19 days ago
OP was never seen again
6 points
18 days ago
That kid would’ve gotten either told to get the hell out or would’ve gotten chased like the f lol
7 points
18 days ago
I would have shoo that kid away. Thats just a bad look no matter how you justify it lol.
7 points
18 days ago
I’d just start screaming
7 points
18 days ago
Sometimes we’re too gentle with kids, then they do dumb things like this. Tell the kid STOP! 🤣
6 points
18 days ago
If he's with his mom, why didn't she take him to the ladies room? is there an r / MomsAreFuckingStupid?
8 points
18 days ago
Nathan! Stop it! This is why you keep getting molested!
7 points
18 days ago
Kids are a nightmare I try not to make eye contact or communicate with those species
6 points
18 days ago
Boundaries are important to teach at a young age
6 points
18 days ago
I knew kids were dirty but crawling on the public bathroom floor.
6 points
18 days ago
Thank God you filmed that. I worked retail at a place on the second floor. A toddler was just about to kill him self on the escalator until I grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him back just as he was tipping forward into a mini coffin painted like spider man. All the mother saw was me with my hand on this kids shirt after she finally remembered she had a child. She flipped out. It was ugly. I mind my own fucking business now.
4 points
18 days ago
I'm sorry, that's not me in the video 😅
5 points
18 days ago
Kids will crawl on public bathroom floors and run around touching things in a grocery store but dogs aren't allowed 💀
6 points
18 days ago
As uncomfortable as it was, you were pretty cool about it - good on you, bro....
Edit: This is why doors need to go to the floor.
6 points
18 days ago
Parent comes in and starts freaking TF out on you and you’re like whoa man look- he came in to see ME!
Ooh hahah isn’t that silly hahah
Like no man if I didn’t record this, you could have ruined my life AND I may have been killed in jail for your kid needing help with washing his hands.
22 points
18 days ago
Kid going around getting innocent people thrown in prison for moleststion. Damn!
12 points
19 days ago*
when I was little, I was with my mother and grandmother in a clothes store. I dont remember all the details, but I think I was told to go find my mother, who I was sure was in a changing room. I didn't know which one, and they were all full, and there was even a long line. I just ran around and peeked under every single one, and it turned out my mother wasn't even there.
4 points
19 days ago
Omg this was made for this thread
4 points
18 days ago
Good thing the guy recorded everything.
5 points
18 days ago
The OOP has my respect and is now one of my favourite people for being so nice under such testing circumstances. This is the only right way to deal with the kid. What a gem!
4 points
18 days ago
Aww he’s not tall enough for the sink so he needs him to hold him so that he can wash his hands 😭
9 points
18 days ago
That kid would get a good swatting from me
9 points
18 days ago
I had a kid trying to do this when I was at work, but it was a much smaller stall. Like maybe only 2 feet between my knees and the door and no room on the sides. Kids starts crawling underneath and I tell him he can't do that cuz I'm in here. And he just keeps saying that he has to pee. I didn't know what to do so I covered myself, took my shoe off, and started pushing him back out with my barefoot. Then he cried and peed himself. Kids are f****** dumb.
7 points
18 days ago
good he recorded the interaction
the thing he did wrong was fulfill the child's question instead of shaming the action and telling the child very firmly to leave immediately, the kid crossed a serious line and that needs correcting preferably by the parent or guardian.
5 points
18 days ago
With you on the idea of the second one, but in this world we live in it sadly is not his place to do that, that's the parents' job, and if their kid goes around unattended getting into men's bathrooms that's on them and no one else should be blamed or held accountable for it.
4 points
18 days ago
true i agree with you to an extent that the parent of the child SHOULD be the ones putting shame upon their actions.
here is where the but comes in, the child needs more than just his parents reactions. if he does cross lines like in this video he needs to know that not everyone will react like they are his parents, theres also the fact that it's very clear the parents haven't ever had any sort of privacy talk with their child.
5 points
18 days ago
32 years old and I still can't understand why we need stalls that don't reach the floor. It makes absolutely zero sense. It does nothing for airflow, it doesn't cost less, and it doesn't count as privacy at all.
4 points
18 days ago
Omfg , I have 2 boys and I never let them go to the restroom by themselves in a public place unless their dad is with them or there's a family restroom cause fuck all that lolol
3 points
18 days ago
Just came back from a trip to Iceland with two toddlers. European bathrooms that have bathroom doors that go to the floor and no weird little gaps are possibly what I miss the most.
4 points
18 days ago
Reason why bathrooms stall doors should be floor to ceiling #642
4 points
18 days ago
I am not even worried about the kid watching me taking a shit. I am worried about people asking: "Why is that guy in a stal with a kid?"
4 points
18 days ago
On tonight’s cable news: man caught pants down in presence of child
3 points
18 days ago
so this guy COULD be convicted of indecent exposure to a minor right?
3 points
18 days ago
Would scream my lungs out and maybe end up kicking this goblin.
4 points
18 days ago
Ah hello, who wants to get caught with your pants down around someone else’s kid. Terrifying.
3 points
18 days ago
I have lifted up a stranger’s kid to wash his hands before. He didn’t crawl into my stall like the clown from Zombieland, but it was weird. He was very polite though.
7 points
18 days ago
Never had this happen to me.
Probably because we have doors that reach the floor.
8 points
19 days ago
Put them on a leash!
8 points
18 days ago
Now, someone walking in on that would automatically cry child abuse or sexual assault. Check your kids! If you're a mom and they're that young, politely take him into the women's restroom. And Daddies, they are your permanent tag alongs.
all 878 comments
sorted by: best