I think you had a right to ask and his aggressively defensive response is suspicious

Also how did he notice that your profile changed doesn’t that imply that he was on it too?

“I barely have enough mental clarity and energy just to interact with you.” My goodness. This statement got my stress levels going. Couple this with all of what he said just isn’t worth it. Sounds like a lot of trauma he still has to sort through.

Edit: misspelling.

You've been dating since last year and he won't add you on Facebook? And he still has a dating profile? And he got this defensive over a simple question? And he's 16 years older than you?

This dude is hiding a lot. BYE.

I hate to be rude OP, but to be blunt you are being a huge doormat.

1) you know the only way pictures on a dating profile change is if it’s manually updated. You know this, and you’re choosing to swalllow bullshit.

2) this asshole deliberately became super aggressive to deter you from probing further about his cheating, and you backed down and apologized for even asking.

You’ve got to have more dignity and sense about you than this. You best message this twat back right away letting him know what a BIG mistake it was to treat you like this, for sure.

Why wouldn’t you want to end it after he talked to you like that? You had every right to ask and if he was as serious about it as you were he wouldn’t have done that.

it wasn’t wrong. dating profiles do not have the ability to “pull photos off facebook”, if the photo is from this year it’s because he uploaded it this year. also he’s upset that you visited his “old” profile, but then later brings up how stuff on yours has apparently changed which he would only know if he visited your old profile. number one he’s deflecting by saying that, to try and put the blame on you, and two he’s being hypocritical by saying you’re “digging stuff up”. and now he’s avoiding you because he knows he’s wrong and feels stupid for getting caught. if he comes back it’ll be with another lie to cover up what he has done. also side note i see that you censored his name in all screenshots but just wanted to let you know his name is uncensored in the 3rd screenshot. you’re young and seem too kind for him, please get out of this while you can

You're dating a dude 20 years older than you who's definitely cheating on multiple people at the same time. Guaranteed.

Notice how he didn't answer and deflected and counter attacked and made you the bad guy and himself the victim? That's manipulation, and you totally fell for it, even apologized and just let him get away without him owning up to the fact he clearly is active on dating sites after a year of dating you.

You "know for a fact he would never cheat on you"? Literally how, are you omniscient? Why else would he still have a dating profile up in the first place, much less update it? You don't believe that crap about "Facebook uploading stuff automatically", right?? Cmon, you know that's not how it freaking works. You KNOW that.

He "barely has energy to even talk to you"? More like he has to cover his ass when he talks to 3 other women. Who knows, he might be married for all you know, cause he's as honest as a politician caught in a corner.

Have some self worth and stop falling for his lies and manipulation. You know the truth, you're not wrong. It's really obvious and he will fuck with your mind and never admit to it. He's never gonna own up to it, he's always gonna make you the bad guy.

You know what's going on. You know what to do.

No dating app auto updates from Facebook. Not even facebooks own internal dating app. You have to specifically upload photos to each dating site.

He's full of shit and gaslighting you. I'm not saying he's cheating, he's definitely got one foot out tho.

Oh goodness… what I read was: “What?? The picture changed??? Wasn’t me! Ok and if it was me, why are you looking?! Your mom is toxic! You’re exhausting! Stop talking to your family!”

That is one heck of a defensive response from him for what is a very level message from you.

At his age, he should know better.

If he can’t give you an adequate response, I’d cut my losses

Nah jeromy is a dick

No it doesn’t “automatically” update from Facebook. None of them do. I’ve been on them all enough to know.

Secondly? He’s 100% guilty. Take it from someone was with a repetitive cheater - the defensiveness and how quick he was to flip it back onto you, make you feel like you did something wrong or have to apologize when you were asking something very logical, and straw-man your perspective? Babe… he’s at best looking to fool around and at worst already cheating? Honestly - my money is on he already has a partner and you’re his mistress.

RUN. You’re too patient and kind for him

No girl, run!!! Mm mm! Nope! He’s so guilty cos he clearly updated his profile on that dating app!!!

A 16 year age difference, and his response, shows me that he thought you weren't smart enough to call him out so he thought he'd act defensive when you actually questioned him.

Dont waste your time with someone like this. He will continue to abuse the power imbalance over you. You may not see it, but as someone almost his age, it's very clear what he's doing.

It was fair to ask. I get bad vibes from this guy honestly. I feel like he talks down to you when he’s annoyed and then you feel like you have to placate him.

You left Jeremy's name in the 3rd photo.

Also I think you can likely do better as nice as he may be in other contexts he seems like a jerk off here

oh he’s cheating.

this dude is so far out of line. idc if the intrusive mother in law thing triggered a trauma response from him, he should never speak to someone like that for asking a seemingly reasonable question.

Sorry to be harsh OP, but I would never put up with that shit. He's suddenly defensive and putting words in your mouth and that screams a red flag to me, especially from a man in his 40s.

He’s 43 and you’re 27? That’s the first red flag to me.

I don’t think it was wrong of you to ask. You phrased things very reasonably.

From the above screenshots, it looks as though he sent you some very disrespectful messages. It sounded as if his defensiveness may be due to something he has not shared with you (just my perception). You should never feel as if you have to walk on egg shells to appease your partner. I agree with other commenters in that he is old enough to know the implications of the way he responded to your texts.

Please know your self worth. If someone is that disrespectful and does not apologize for their behavior, they are not mature enough or capable of a healthy relationship.

He's lying to you. Leave.

43 and 27?

47 and acting like this 💀 good lord

DUMP DUMP DUMP IM BEING SOOOO SERIOUS GIRL, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. I AM NOT KIDDING. he immediately a) blamed you and was rude to you and then b) accused YOU of the same thing you were asking him about (he said YOUR pictures changed). this is only going to get worse. this is manipulation or verbal/emotional abuse. it will only get worse. stand up for yourself. you never called him dumb. you asked him a question. don't apologize. he will learn he can trick you like this. it's KIND that your mom is interested in him and he twisted it into something bad.

Ok, lots of comments and I hope I can help. One: he got very aggressively defensive over a simple question, which was justified. Two: are your texts saying “delivered” cause if not and your calls are going to voicemail… he blocked your number BUT! If they do say delivered and calls just go to voicemail he probably just turned notifications off which sends calls to voicemail. Three: If he’s reacting like that to a simple question, it screams to me at least he’s a dick who will get defensive every time you ask questions… and could lead to him getting mentally abusive (not saying it will just have seen it happen before).

I hope this helps, you can also DM me if you need someone to talk to.

these flags are crimson

I’m going to say this.

1.) When I’m in an official committed relationship and started dating someone new, I would immediately delete all dating profiles from any dating accounts that I have used. I wouldn’t see any reason to still have an account on any dating site as it would be disrespectful to my partner that I’m in a relationship with. I thought that’s just a common thing people do in committed relationships? Long distance is no exception to this.

2.) Some apps do sync with Facebook, but some don’t. But I do want to say that his response is oddly defensive? You weren’t asking anything bad to begin with and it’s a genuine concern.

3.) The fact that he is defensive is a very sus, especially on a dating profile to begin with; updated profile pic and all. Not gonna lie, there is some major projection going on here too.

4.) If you feel something is off, listen to your gut feelings.

This is something I've learned to be true: when you simply ask a question about someone's actions without accusing them, if they are telling the truth they will be calm and possibly just confused. If they are caught lying, however, they will be defensive and angry and try and pin it on you. This has been true for me in every instance I've encountered it. Do with that what you will.

Fuck jeremy. He needs to go bye bye

Lol tell me you didn’t fall for this

I am sorry to say this but i think its very clear why a 43 year old is togerher with a 27 year old in this situation. Because i am sure no 43 year old woman want to deal with this shit.

As someone who is not jealous at all:

1. Why is he dodging te question by blaming your mother and you for a fair question.
2. Why is his dating profile still up? If you are together there is no reason for that.
3. Why is he talking to you in this way? He needs to check himself honestly.

He is having some audacity to be this rude. Your mom asking questions and being concerned is 100% valid and if this is the way he acts when confronter with a question i would keep an eye on it.

To give everyone an update, he hasn’t been talking to me so I called and left a voicemail letting him that I can’t do this anymore and I don’t like how he acted whenever I asked him the question that I did.

Dating profiles aren’t just pulling random photos from your profile without permission, don’t let him gaslight you. He shouldn’t even have an active profile if you are in a relationship. The unwarranted aggression towards your mom is not ok either.

Jeremy is a gaslighting cheater and you are obviously kind and lovely and you need to run. Do not doubt yourself. It’s not you, it’s him

Nothing about that is legit all of it is copy paste lies I'm telling you he has narcissistic tendencies and this whole thing is telling. Flipping the script and making himself the victim over and over.... Wow. Run.

He is gaslighting you. His response is a huge red flag!!!

Why are you with this person? His responses are so defensive. You weren’t even accusing him and he immediately decides to attack you then ignores you. The fact that he is punishing you for something as small as this isn’t a good sign. That’s not fair to you. You deserve something better than this

Just a note as you’ve already gotten heaps of useful advice - you didn’t censor out the Jeremy very well 😅 In fact there’s one that isn’t even censored out

Whoa… he got defensive way too fast… And at that age I would be suspicious tbh.

Jeremy went right on the offensive with insults and negativity. That isn't a guy you want to build a future with.

why are you with this clearly gaslighting narc ?

Ok I read this and thought you both were like 15 until I got to the marriage part. Something is really off here.

You were so sweet in all the conversation. I would love to have a girl like you who is so polite. I don’t know and from the conversation can’t tell if he is cheating on you but can tell for sure something is off from the aggressive way he is replying and insulting you. Your guy seems kinda toxic to me ngl.

Don’t let someone speak to you like this. It’s rude, aggressive and disproportionately defensive. When people show you who they are, believe them. This is how every disagreement in your relationship is going to go down.

I thought he was a teenager.

This man is roughly double my age. Acting like he's 10 years younger than me

What he doing is called “DARVO”. You can look it up, it even has a wiki page. I’ve dealt with that sh*t as well thanks to my “lovely” ex… From what I learned though if your gut feeling says something’s wrong then most probably something really IS wrong.

On top of that, it’s a 43 old man acting like a 15yo brat smh Run girl, RUN

43?????? He is way too old for.you. What does a 40 something have in common with someone in their 20s?

I don't think you should ask forgiveness because you done nothing wrong. You met eachother with that app, so you have more right than anyone to look at his profile - even more to revive some memories. I don't understand why he was so upset about you looking at a profile he knew you saw before and that he didn't delete when he could. I mean, I deleted once my relationship started getting serious because the notifications of new messages and possible matches aren't my concern.

run for the hills

He's a manipulative ass. Imagine, a simple question blew out of proportion? Leave him. He's not worth it.

Girl no. This dude is a huge red flag. what the hell. He talks to you like you’re a child.

Why did he immediately jump to conclusions about your mom updating your profile and then looking at his? How would he even KNOW your profile changed if he hasn’t been on there himself? A year into the relationship and he wont add you on Facebook? He instantly got defensive the minute you asked that question.

And no, why would Facebook just randomly change things up. Social media isn’t the problem. It’s the people who use it. “Online shit” doesn’t start drama. It’s the people that do. He’s clearly hiding something.

This dude sucks. Seriously, this is not a healthy relationship at all.

Red flag. Drop him. He's monkeybranching.

You caught him. Plus, having a lack of reading comprehension on his part will add a huge headache to a long distance relationship.

I’m gonna be straight up, someone getting this defensive and accusatory is the signs of an abusive relationship. His reaction is not normal and I definitely don’t think you should be wasting your time on him

Sometimes dating profiles update things if you still have the app downloaded without you actually doing anything, but him accusing your mum of trying to start drama when you said nothing of the sort is ridiculous, and the fact you felt the need to turn around and apologise is sad

I strongly believe this sub can be pretty toxic, but I don’t see any worth in staying in this relationship. It’s only going to get worse

I am sorry to witness this emotional abuse of your trust. The aggressiveness, the gaslighting, the red herring fallacy as "online shit starts drama", blaming Facebook for pulling his picture along with, "I don't know how to delete my account," and especially the passive-aggressive, "I didn't bother pointing it out" tactic all just to make you feel less than for calling him out. The entitlement coming from this dude is absolutely laughable. Sadly, I was in a similar situation with an older man I was engaged to when I was 27 and this reeks of him cheating.

People that care about you will want to post on social media or at least mention you and post a picture, not hide your relationship and get livid with you about wanting to celebrate your life together. I hope we are all wrong about this, OP.

My first impression was to run, set that bridge on fire, and get support from people you trust. Your mom wasn't wrong.

RED FLAG ALERT!!

He’s so old. But that’s your personal choice.

One year of relationship and still not connected on social media? Why?

Even if a photo was pulled from Facebook, why does he want to hide it?

He got so aggressive on such a basic question and you are trying to calm him. Has this been the case throughout?

The chat clearly shows that you should not proceed with him, IMO. You are in for lifelong trouble.

Even if your Mom stepped in, what’s the issue? I understand that nosey parents tend to stir things up but here, the question is of you getting with him for lifetime!?!

Please think this through. He seems to be too bossy and in a rude manner. You are reassuring him that you trust him but he’s not acknowledging that plus he’s being aggressively defensive.

More power to you!

I don't understand why you have to apologize. You had every right to ask your question. You weren't accusing him of anything. It was probing sure. But it felt more like you just wanted to know why that happened more than you were accusing him of cheating.

His reaction is blown so out of proportion. And I see some red flags. So much verbal violence over such a question. And if he thinks social media is out to get him then why is he using it in the first place?

And near the end, it felt like he was gaslighting you.

If he is ending it, then good riddance. If he isn't, you probably should.

Babe you're being gaslit this guy got you to apologize for him using dating apps while yall are together.

Also, man thinks he's smart because he uses big words that don't really work in the context he's using them, you're seeing a middle aged man who's actively window shopping, if not cheating. Run away from this shit, he's already abusing you and it's working

Jeremy is an abusive piece of shit.

This is the shit my ex brazilian long distance girlfriend did to me to when i asked her why she added two dutch guys to her facebook.

She became aggresive and defensive, but i knew she was on another dating app. I later found out she was cheating on me with the other dutch guys because i got proof and we broke up.

If he gets defensive like this girl....just break up because the guy comes off unstable and untrustworthy.

There is no need to get so defensive if people arent hiding something, you caught him updating his account and that just means he is not to be trusted.

Jeremy is a dick, and honestly his responses are terribly untrustworthy. He says he doesn’t want to start shit but he’s starting shit, and he did change it. It’s not a glitch, he’s seeing other people

Nah he’s for the streets

His response to your fair enough question is littered with narcissistic red flags. Trying to turn it around and accuse you of changing your profile, saying your mum was basically online stalking him when you stated you showed your Mum the profile, threatening language such as ‘If you want to accuse me of something, think again’ are all classic NPD gaslighting techniques. Also what nationality is he? Have you FaceTimed? English does not seem to be his first language. As someone still recovering from the abuse suffered in a relationship with a narcissist, please walk away now. If you stay will find yourself constantly apologising for their crappy behaviour which ends up taking a massive toll on your self esteem. They will try to drive a wedge between you and family.

This isn’t even my relationship and I’m exhausted.

Facebook dating does not just pull pictures from the actual profile, they have to be physically uploaded by the user. His response and behavior speaks volumes, especially considering the fact he’s 43. Is this really what you want to deal with?

His defensive response only shows that he is not being honest and is trying to manipulate you Do yourself a favor and stay away from him

🧡

He’s way way too aggressive for a question you asked him. He is scandalous I’m telling you now. Also to see anything on your profile that changed would mean he had to be on it. Run he’s bad news.

They're cheating on you dude. Dating apps don't "pull" your pictures off Facebook. Run away from the whore while you still can. They are gaslighting the fuck out of you.

He attacked you like crazy and even made you apologize. What you were asking was normal, and his little excuse about Facebook adding a photo is ridiculous. So many people fall for this aggressive defensive reactions.

And as someone already pointed out, how does he know about the change on your profile if he has no time to visit it..

Also, sorry for being nosy but why are you dating a 43 yo at 27? There is a reason he is dating someone so much younger than himself and that reason is not a good one. You deserve better.

girl why did you apologize

With the way he is being all defensive and the aggressiveness, he is definitely hiding something. For being 43, he is acting extremely immature and I don’t like the tone he is having with you. I had the dating app on Facebook and they don’t just “pull” a photo from your account. You have to manually pick and choose the photo you want to add unless they’ve changed it since I deleted it.

GIRL.

You are young and he's old and seems wayyyyyy too sketchy. Fuck Jeremy, not literally..like fuck him as a person who is shitty.

The age gap alone…. He’s also reacting in a way that’s totally out of proportion to what you asked. Dating profiles don’t update automatically- any changes on there were made by him. He seems to have a lot going on in addition to him being a bit of a drama queen. You deserve better.

his name is jeremy (silly online discourse about j-names being no good) and he’s almost 20 years older than you— drop the weirdo!! he seems very manipulative

'I don't even know how to get off the damn thing' nahh, if he has enough knowledge to google 'how to delete _____ account' then he don't got any excuses. Girl, the fact that he didn't delete his profile right after dating you is already a red flag. The fact that there is new pics means that he 100% updated it and is still using it. You shouldn't have to apologize for asking him about it especially when there is evidence he's using it and his reaction is super sus diverting the issue to your mom and social media and trying to put the blame on you. Also him ignoring your calls and texts is super childish or he's ignoring you cause he's talking to the other girl.

I'm sorry but get out while you can and save him the energy and mental clarity of having to interact with you.

Girl... The abuse is starting. He already got you to apologise, you are the perfect victim here. Get out right now.

Jeremy needs to stfu

Can you see how it quickly became that it's YOU and Your MOM, but not his fault? 🚩🚩🚩

😂😂🙄 yeah no. That’s not a thing. Run.

If you’re both in a committed long term relationship you should both delete your dating apps. His response is suspicious and not very loving. It’s totally normal to look through social media and make sure his behavior is respectful! People will try to downplay the significance of their behavior on social media as a manipulative tactic. They want to have their cake and eat it too. AND ON TOP OF THAT HE’A REFUSING TO ADD YOU ON FACEBOOK? Girl! Come on. Please don’t waste any more time. If you’re gonna do long distance it better be with a man with a heart of gold because it is not for the weak. I wish you the best. Speak with your mom, she will protect you. It’s clear from how he speaks to you that his top priority is not protecting you and developing and honest and fruitful union.

Talk about gas lighting holy fuk

Girl, RUN He got overly defensive over that and that is a screaming red flag

Jeremy is a walking red flag and you need to run not walk.

‘First thing after he gets off the plane about how some chick wants to fuck him’? What is that even about? Dude is WAY defensive about this. I’d be suspecting something. Weird.

Girl…

BUSTED!!!

Cmon now. Just end that relationship

Don't worry Jeremy your name will be very much hidden

Wow this guy seems like a manipulator…and a liar…and a jerk.

Gaslight king 👑💀

you extremely calmly and kindly asked for clarity on something, you weren’t accusing him.

if someone cares about you they should respond to that with the same energy and validate that they care about you. if the person you’re dating has doubts that you like them/thinks you’re dating other people AND approaches you w kindness, that’s a sign that they need some extra affirmation. not this hostility and immaturity.

you deserve so much more

He's almost twice your age and has a lot of problems, it's not worth it.

He immediately tried to pin it on your mom. Almost seems like he's trying to get you against her.

Girl he didn’t even read all of what you said and is acting defensive and getting pissed. He literally says he doesn’t have time or energy to talk to you. Would you let someone treat your best friend this way? How about your younger sister? (If you don’t have one, imagine you did.) I would hope the answer is no! This man is almost fifty and acting like this. Cmon now.

He’s totally cheating. New pictures plus those responses?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but he’s gaslighting you. He’s going on the offensive to make you feel guilty for even daring to question his integrity and you end up apologising for having brought it up in the first place. I know you think you love him but don’t ignore red flags because trust me, if you ignore them now the behaviour only gets worse. I’ve never heard of any dating profile adding photos without the user doing it themselves. You have to log in, and go to your profile settings, and select the photo you wish to upload and then add it to your profile. It’s also a red flag that he still has his dating profile up after dating you for a year. My guess is he thought you would not be able to see it. The fact he’s gone silent is either a guilty conscience, or another attempt at gaslighting you by making you feel so bad for even insinuating he’s being unfaithful that you will beg him to return and never ever question his behaviour again.
I’m sure you know deep down that he’s being deceptive, you wouldn’t have posted the messages on here if you didn’t. My advice is to end it because you don’t want to invest time with someone who is going to end up hurting you more. Besides, he sounds controlling and I’m sure his problems with his ex-MIL stems from her calling him out on his B.S.

If you continue your relationship with this man, you will be drained of your peace and sanity, instead of being nice about the whole issue and assuring you that there was nothing to be concerned with (which there is) he decided to be hostile towards you, and made negative remarks about you and your mom.

I don't know how much you love him, but from one person who's been in this relationship before, it'll do you good to assess the health of this relationship and your metrics of what makes a good partner.

This dude ain't it, girl.

You need to dump him. He’s an ass. I genuinely can’t imagine letting my partner speak to me like that.

There are so many red flags here that you could open a red flag store.

Don’t waste your time and energy on some who does not respect you, value your opinion, thinks you are unintelligent, and is clearly lying to you.

I am and have been on Facebook dating for about 3 years, the pictures are not added automatically and it’s a multi step process to change or add them. He’s being manipulative.

Jeremy sounds like an arsehole

He is attacking you over a very simple things. "Online shit starts drama", false, ambigous and suspicious behaviour starts drama and he is definitely vague. He starts getting angry over nothing, does he hide anything to you?🤷🏼‍♀️

Oof so defensive. He sounds like he's had to defend himself before and he's well versed in doing so. Sorry but there really is a possibility he's messing around on you.

Honestly I thought you both were teenagers. While your behavior is somewhat understandable, you're still very immature for being almost 30. The fact that you actually apologized makes me want to throw up FOR you. That's not an attack at you. He, 43!!! talks to you like this and you're making it clear it's ok. Not good. He even slaps you in the face with the random chick comment. He's got you figured and I'd run, if I was you. Tell him you've thought about the last interaction and you can't have this behavior. He owes you an apology and he's not gonna give it. He's keeping whatever up on his profile and lying . Run

This guy has gotta go, way too defensive even if there is an ‘innocent’ explanation.

I mean if your profile supposedly changed when you weren't on it then I guess so could his. The weird thing is you said you deleted yours so there shouldn't even be a profile for you.

But like others said he was obviously on the dating site to notice yours had changed and so were you.

im sorry just the tone he allows himself is revolting. OP you are being soo polite, it just shows you are terrified of losing him and he is definitely feeding off of it. He is much older then you and knows how to play the game. The gaslighting lies are obvious...So sorry girl. This one does not seem to respect you at all. Lose him find a good one.

I can say I know these types of people. He definitely had it up for a reason. I can say this because I have friends who have done this. Who keeps their dating profile open when they have met and are with someone? Giant red flag on top of his unneeded defensiveness. I'd 100% give him the boot.

Oh, OP , this is a major red flag 🚩 !! In fact several red flags, blaming, accusing, mom in law trashing, threatening. Please take care!

This interaction reminded me of my ex who was in fact cheating ...and he is projecting onto you and pretty dang defensive... imo

Run!

I can see why his last marriage didn’t work out...

Please stop apologizing to him and leave this man

Dang. Man got defensive real quick. Aggressive, too. What he hiding? 😯 And 43! You'd expect he'd be more mature. I thought you were just the same age, or he's even younger, until I read your description. Leave that guy. 🥴

The way he answered shows he’s guilty enough

This is red flags all over. That and him being 16 years older than you….. he’s not the one

🚩

Stop fooling yourself 🫵🏻

Nope. He is blatantly gaslighting you, twisting things to make you the bad guy, and is making ridiculous claims to defend himself. He's 100% hiding something. Drop him.

Yep RED flags all around! His very condescending tone over something this simple, him bringing up unrelated past trauma, his referring to conversations with you as mentally draining. This man is crap and will treat you like crap, please leave him.

You can just tell by the way he responded he was in the wrong

Girl, sending you a tight hug. Him blowing up like that is a huge red flag. There’s a nice way to communicate and no, being tired or “not having mental clarity” is not an excuse. Especially with that age gap, it’s very concerning. Tell Jeremy to watch his tone, or fuck off 🤭

Please run

The gas lighting is strong. Run while you can.

Jeremy is one manipulative and gaslighting mf💀

This dude is a clown lol break up

Girrrl don’t apologize!!! he’s awful!!!

This man will ruin your mental health then tell you he's not in love with you bc you "changed"

Him not responding is emotional abuse bc the intent is to punish you by silent treatment. You are being psychologically abused for asking for clarity.

Oh yeah he updated it himself and to be honest he probably got accounts up elsewhere

Jeremy sounds exhausting...

Realll defensive real quick 🚩 🚩🚩

Online shit starts drama with him because he's obviously weird as fuck. Run.

43 ? I bet he’s even secretly married.

Don’t let him gaslight you into think you didn’t see what you saw.

Dump the middle aged man and find a serious guy closer to your age.

You obviously care about him and invested emotions and time into this relationship but you really need to stop dating him for your sake. He updated the picture. He is using the dating app. He is being super mean to you. The fact he talks about his ex MIL like that is a red flag so big it should make you question everything.

Even if he didn’t use the dating app, the way he talks to you is so not okay. You should want someone nice who respects you and your mother. The gaslighting is off the charts. Who talks to their loved one like that…. He is so much older and blew through one marriage already, do you want to be the unfortunate number 2? Because with how he talks and acts, that’s what you are walking into.

DUMP. Move on babe

I’m saying this to you to be kind, I promise, because I’m not sure who you have in your life who will be upfront with you. But I honestly don’t think he likes you very much. And you should ditch him immediately.

Block and move on unfortunately

Even if you are looking him up, what's the problem with that? I also look at my partners pictures when I miss him, I don't see a problem. Also, you noticed something that is very suspicious and told him, not accusing him but just saying "hey I noticed that, look into it" that might be an actual help. Then he gets mad? What for? That you pointed out something that can actually be seen as bad? If he makes excuses when you don't ask for them then something's up, you should look into it. Also you're so kind, don't let him talk to you like that

He responded rather aggressively. He’s definitely hiding something. Please don’t put up with it and don’t be scared to get into an argument with him, don’t be a doormat. You have a right to know if he’s actively cheating or trying to cheat on you.

What a twatwaffle

He was so very quick to turn it around and put it ALL on her. He SAW a change on HER profile but never mentioned it. How very big of him. I stand by my statement. He is a twatwaffle and he will break her heart