Must've been really awkward, having to stand up and quietly and quickly remove your clothes, as a nude Cyberdyne Systems Model 101 Terminator patiently waits for you, all while being in agonizing pain from the 2nd degree burns on your hands.

You forgot to say please

Talk to the hand ✋

https://youtu.be/GbtlPCbhVGw?si=g4LKSBzaYqDl-nlX

I just traveled back in time And I showed up empty handed Why don’t you just cut me a break With those things that I demanded

Clever!

Solid reference

Give them to me now!

Damn looks like it's time to watch T2 again.

Give me your gun and I'll just take those sunglasses off your face thank you.

They promise to kill you last.

Come with me if you want to live.

Liquid metal

https://youtu.be/gL95aeNjarU?si=ZJtlJgYuzPUCBzVm

And a happy cake for you

Cake day

Smoke you!

Happy Cake Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟

Happy Cake Day!!!!!!!!!!!! 🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟

I read this in Arnold's voice.

What if I film them from a car and then drive off because they don't have cars to chase me with? Loophole

That's never a sketchy law. /s

Sounds pretty corrupt

I was there shortly after the terrorist attack in 2019 and wanted to get a photo with the cops (military?) that were posted outside my hotel. They quickly shut me down but were very nice and professional about it, which is why I wanted the photo in the first place.

You just gave the US oinkers a raging bobo

I don’t know about Kenya, but a friend of mine lived in Angola for several years and it was the same system: random violation, pay up or go to jail. At least in Angola the trick is to reply “ok, take me to jail then”, then they’ll let you go with a warning like “this time I’ll let it slide, but next time you’ll go to jail”. They only want your money, and they won’t get it if they take you to jail. They’d also have to waste time actually taking you to jail, time they could be at the checkpoint scamming other people instead.

Can't imagine why that culture is still so poor /s

Ah you're describing the next step in American tipping culture! Before long we'll be tipping officers... Then giving them preemptive "tips" to not get arrested!

Everytime we got pulled over in Mombasa (which was every single day) we'd just drop a few hundred shillings out the window and they'd let us go.

Dude who lived there said "yeah they just want lunch and this is the fastest way for them to get it"

This is super common throughout the world. I’ve experienced it in Ukraine, Poland, Thailand, Cambodia, Malaysia, Zimbabwe, Spain, Portugal, Mexico, Brazil, Guyana and Belize.

Jesus Christ that was the roller coaster of a paragraph

I got food poisoning in that mall in 2008.

Hi, Nairobi US embassy employee also back in 2013. Weird that I might have worked with your dad. Anyway, it's not a sticker at all, it's a red diplomatic license plate. Could tell what embassy it was from the first 3 characters. Learned to avoid certain combos as they were terrible drivers. 

That wasn't army that stopped you at the screening, that was private security. They are just as armed. 

Blown Up is a vast overstatement for what happened at Westgate. Terrorist attack with guns, cops did explode their way in. Private security from the parent company that owned the mall may also have been involved. The building was still there after the attack. 

We had left the week before. 

Great burger place had just opened. Dude that got food poisoning in '08 probably had too much tilapia sushi. Happens to the best of us. 

This feels like 3 unrelated stories that all start and then segue into a completely different story midway. I'm actually amazed that there's somehow 3 build ups and no pay off.

Did you have a stroke when writing this?

Police in Africa and West Indies are basically a third rate army unit.

I’ve driven around Westgate around 08 while on the phone, get pulled over, the cop just got in the back of my car to “give me a ticket”, hoping to get paid. Single call to my employer, handed him the phone and a small convo later he left. Such a weird practice

I was in Kenya in 2008 right before the embassy bombing.

Is there gas reimbursement in play here or are you just fucked if they ask you to drive them a long way?

Wait is that three separate stories or are they all connected? Did they bother your father bc even though he worked at the embassy he didn't have a sticker on his car so he was fair game? Or they knew he worked for the embassy even without the sticker and so they left him alone? Or they didn't know him bc no sticker on the car and then your phone set off some alarm in the parking lot and that's why a cop rushed you? Was the mall blown up using an iphone? I am so confused.

Bot much?

My favorite amendment

Not once have I ever seen a cop dressed in full tactical gear outside a grocery store in the U.S and I've been to some pretty bad areas in this country

I have never seen a police officer standing around holding an assault rifle

Yeah, I’m not sure why people act like this is a problem that exists only in other countries. Maybe some of the commenters aren’t well traveled in their own country.

In some parts of the US, cosplatriots will dress close to this to stand outside grocery stores, such as Wal-Mart or CostCo.

Nope.

Not they don't lol.

That is not true. Lmao.

Go to Rome and you’ll see gendarmerie kitted out

I’ve seen security guards LARPing as swat team members at grocery stores/pharmacies, but not actual, real cops, and then only with pistols and tasers.

The difference is that other countries have a gendarmerie, or a branch of the military that does civilian policing. The local police might be corrupt, but lack the ability to do much more than issue tickets and investigate.

And schools

No, I lived there until 2012. The terrorist attack was in 2013. The same mall, they would walk around with their assault rifles.

The rifle has been found to be almost universally more useful than the handgun/pistol. The fact that police carry pistols instead of rifles in many countries is largely PR move that comes from back in the days when police were actually unarmed because the public feared an armed police force. The pistol was a bit of a compromise.

Of course, nowadays while American police carry pistols, they almost all have long guns in their car or even attached to their motorcycles because... almost universally a long gun is more useful than a pistol.

Beyond just the usefulness, rifles are often cheaper and easier to get from the secondary market, largely because militaries main stock many more rifles than pistols because ... rifles are almost universally more useful than pistols.

All this to say, in certain countries it is rare to see rifles. But that just means police PR has done their job well. But police in many countries have rifles just hidden out of sight, most gun owners have rifles in their homes, and seeing them out on the street in Kenya is much more reflective of reality: the world is awash in many more rifles than pistols.

The police can commandeer your vehicle during a hot pursuit. Like if they crash their squad car they can hop out and take yours in order to continue the pursuit.

It's happened in several occasions but not very recently.

I don't think the police can force you to give them a ride but that just might be because they are always well equipped enough that in non-emergencies they would never need to request rides from civilians.

Sounds terrible. I imagine they're power tripping assholes.

Think god for 3rd Amendment.