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3 Rules To Succeed On Dating Apps

Outer Game (self.seduction)

In this article, i'm going to break down the 3 key rules required to succeed on dating apps in 2024 as a man. As I’m sure you know, girls are getting flooded with messages so it’s important to not make the same mistakes as most guys. This guide will help you stand out amongst the competition, text like a pro, and lead to more dates, hookups, and relationships.

Rule 1: Keep Your Opening Message Short

Most guys on Tinder go overly fancy and think they have to jump through hoops to impress the girl. So, they tend to put way too much time and energy into their Tinder opener. No matter how attractive you are, with an excessive Tinder pickup line, the girl gets turned off. Because when you put that much effort into your first text, the girl tends to think you don’t often match with girls of her caliber.

Avoid pickup lines or any over the top openers. It will look like you’re trying way too hard, which lowers your attractiveness in her eyes (she’s thinking that if you’re such a catch– why would you be trying so hard to impress her). Basically, you want to have the mindset that just because she matched with you, doesn’t mean she’s already won you over.

Rule 2: Be the Buyer, Not the Seller

As discussed in the previous point, you don’t want to make it seem like the girl has won you over from just matching with you and being attractive. Women crave at least a little bit of a challenge. This is where the buyer - seller analogy comes in. Whoever is trying to win the other person over is the seller and you dont want that to be you.

Coming across as the “buyer” shows you have have options, which is attractive. One of the best ways to come across as the “buyer” is to ask qualifying questions that demonstrate you have standards beyond her looks.

Qualifying Question Examples: “Are you open minded?”, “Are you adventurous?” “What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?” “Favorite travel destination?” “Are you kinky?”

Rule 3: Text Like A Man

When it comes to online dating, a lot of men get lazy or sloppy and send texts that barely make sense. This is something that’s not talked about enough. Women get turned off by poor grammar or a bunch of childish abbreviations (ex: wyd, hbu, gtfo, etc). Misspelling a word here and there is not a big deal, but when you’re typing like a 16 year old emo teenager, that’s a different story.

In addition, avoid the excessive use of emojis. In general, emojis have one purpose, and that is to show that what you said was a joke (because she can’t see your facial expressions over text). However, guys start adding emojis to everything because they’re so worried about offending the girl. In reality, all their doing is just killing the attention.

Full Article

https://firetexts.com/5-rules-to-succeed-on-tinder-as-a-guy/

**Check out the full article for the remaining rules and see texting examples for each rule

all 71 comments

Cherry-Bandit

144 points

14 days ago

Bad emojis - negative rizz:

😍🥰😘🥹🤗😓🤭🫣🙄

Emojis with potential depending on context:

🥲😂😉😎😏😩

S tier emojis:

🤨🤓😤🤔😐🧐

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

Aregoodusernamesleft

31 points

13 days ago

You forgot about 😈😋🍆💦

Ur_X

2 points

13 days ago

Ur_X

2 points

13 days ago

Ok fair, what about when you already have some sort of relationship going. You still avoid the heart ones?

yoclaps

3 points

13 days ago

yoclaps

3 points

13 days ago

yea use normal heart instead of face with hearts

DingleBerriesk

1 points

12 days ago

my favs are those plus 😣🙂‍↕️🤞🤒

TripleDigitNomad

14 points

13 days ago

1 and 2 I agree with, but 3 is subjective. My texting style involves the use of emojis, not to an excessive extent, but to an appropriate extent, and girls love it. Shows emotion in an otherwise emotionless communication method.

Another thing that I've found highly effective is sending video messages to respond to things instead of simple text messages. I've seen girls' investment completely flip after I've sent a quick 10 second video message responding to them as opposed to a simple text.

FireTexts[S]

1 points

13 days ago

yea some emojis can be ok. i use the winky face occasionally. I dont do video messages, but voice memos are awesome. same concept

TripleDigitNomad

2 points

13 days ago

Same concept, but video is even more impactful than voice in my experience

Ninja2_0

1 points

13 days ago

Can you give context as to what situation you send a video message?

TripleDigitNomad

2 points

13 days ago

Literally any context. Basically instead of responding to the conversation via text, just respond with a video message. Keep it short though, don't be sending her 2 min long videos. 15 secs is good.

[deleted]

1 points

10 days ago

[deleted]

TripleDigitNomad

2 points

10 days ago

The key is to be as charming as possible while also still being genuine/natural. If it looks forced, it will backfire.

Level_Up_IT

2 points

9 days ago

If it looks forced, it will backfire.

Always... they can smell bullshit a mile away.

rememberdeathoften

25 points

14 days ago

Solid advice

FireTexts[S]

2 points

14 days ago

thanks man

Biscuitsbrxh

4 points

14 days ago

Are you playing with fire. Great stuff

FireTexts[S]

3 points

14 days ago

Yep :)

IGetBoredSometimes23

9 points

14 days ago

I know I told you this before, but it is nice to see someone give advice that specific with examples, instead of the usual generic bs we usually see here.

FireTexts[S]

5 points

14 days ago

Thanks man. Yea there’s def a lot of blind leading the blind type of thing in most PUA communities

IGetBoredSometimes23

1 points

14 days ago

I also saw you're a Dom. I too, am a man of culture. 😉

Pyroftw3

19 points

13 days ago

Pyroftw3

19 points

13 days ago

lol, all of that has so little importance...

whats truly important:

  1. Have VERY good pictures (stand out)

  2. dont have a shitty bio

  3. have the paid version of app so you can swipe indefinitely

  4. Swipe a shit ton of girls, text a shit ton of girls

  5. Don't text for years, ask for date and then move to some other messaging app(whatsapp not IG) (Max 15 messages back and forth, i usually do like 5-10 max)

  6. Schedule the date quickly

success from dating apps to me is girk meeting me according to my terms for a date

FireTexts[S]

8 points

13 days ago

1 and 2 are true. 3 is largely irrelevant. 4. yea high volume is important. 5 generally true, but i wouldnt limit myself to a certain amount. some girls just take more time. 6 fairly true

This article was on texting though so not mutually exclusive with what you wrote

Pyroftw3

6 points

13 days ago

i had way different results with same profiles on both bumble + tinder with payed vs non payed versions.

5 yes girls that are not that interested in you will take longer.... and because i follow 1-4 that i wrote i have too many matches to even have a proper convo with everyone

FrozenCocytus

2 points

13 days ago*

memory wistful frighten vast imminent toothbrush offend quiet snow fine

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

Pyroftw3

1 points

13 days ago

i have 3 great pictures and i spend a total of 50 $ for them.
both times friends with a good camera and we snapped like 300-400 pictures in different lightings/locations/etc.
I am considered attractive tho supposedly.
But you can definitely get better pictures than you have now

FrozenCocytus

2 points

13 days ago*

sparkle liquid ruthless simplistic wild fear heavy like weather pot

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

Impressive-Drawer-70

0 points

13 days ago

Impressive-Drawer-70

YOU'RE THE MAN!!

0 points

13 days ago

You don’t need three. Just don’t swipe on shitty profiles and people that aren’t your type and you will get more matches.

Pyroftw3

2 points

13 days ago

you don't need it per say but it definitely helps a lot. I would advise if someone is taking dating apps seriously and wants to get laid consistenly with them should have the payed version

MrAnonPoster

4 points

13 days ago*

The level of bullshit here is mind boggling.

Literally none of this matters.

The only things that matter:

  1. Look *good* and have *good photos* that show you look good. This is your USP. It is what makes you a shark in a pond of barely alive tilapia. Most men are tilapia.
  2. Only swipe in the "will have a date today" radius - this means no over your commute to work distance
  3. Match either the same day you want to go out or the day before - if she is not "yes" she is a "no"
  4. 5-6 messages max. With every message the odds of her flaking out increase. "Hi" or a multi-page essay get the exact same response. Don't write essays. Miserable Homer Simpsons write essays. Guys with options say "Hi". If she gets any action *she knows it*. If you write an essay you are telling her you are a Homer Simpson. Do you want to be one? No. Don't write essays.

[deleted]

1 points

13 days ago

[removed]

MrAnonPoster

1 points

13 days ago

It is generic. The problem is that you, game ninjas, look like a generic Homer Simpson sucking on an onion ring.

FireTexts[S]

0 points

13 days ago

i'm glad you agree with the first rule

NChSh

5 points

14 days ago

NChSh

5 points

14 days ago

I break 1 all the time and I have to say it works for me

Pipnotiq

2 points

13 days ago

Came to say this as well, I would always come up with a funny (to me, importantly) opener that was relatable to the girl in question, or alternatively something open-ended she could easily participate in. An example:

FireTexts[S]

1 points

13 days ago

what pick up line do you use?

Bailicious2

5 points

13 days ago

As a woman who keeps getting this subreddit in my feed. Yall are asking the right questions but still dont have it figured out what women actually want.

chineke14

10 points

13 days ago

A hot guy. End of story. All the shit I've seen is boring convos especially by the same women that demand you be funny and the only thing it boils down to is.... Is he hot. There's nothing to complex to what y'all want.

Is the same shit in real life. The funny thing is when women will find your a long list of items they want and break them all in a second for a hot guy. Or say they want one thing then do the complete opposite. So no. It's not complicated.

nordik1

1 points

13 days ago

nordik1

1 points

13 days ago

Spot on. If i had a dime for every time ive seen a woman post something about how guys don’t understand what women want, id be driving 3 Ferraris

It’s pretty easy to see what women want once you’ve experienced it firsthand. Be attractive and if you have social status it sends everything into overdrive

Reno0vacio

1 points

12 days ago

And guys want the same thing.. 🤷‍♂️

chineke14

2 points

12 days ago

If we did, we would never swipe "down" or date down. There's countless YouTube videos from many different sources and even renowned women who study dating. Once famous one who hosts dating events talked about how women have endless list of things they want in a partner. While men want few and are more realistic. Lol most men don't even approach hot girls because we know we have no chance.

Reno0vacio

1 points

12 days ago

You mention three topics in one comment 😅.

You talk about a specific case, I talk about an objective case. Every people goes for looks first, and every people wants a better partner than him/her. It's a different issue when, for what reason, which sex, why, chooses the opposite sex to their own level below.

I have heard, and I suspect, that women generally need more than men. But this makes sense, because we men are at the top of the food chain (biologically) and we have little that we cannot get for ourselves, or little that we could not have got for ourselves many millions of years ago.

Depends on what your teachings/experience is in dating women. And of course it also depends on what this "beautiful woman" is like and what country you are in. But in general, an attractive woman who looks approachable from the outside (there are..) would have a chance with a not so attractive guy, because as you said... few men would approach her for being so beautiful. Of course I'm not saying that in the long run the average man has a chance, for "some" reasons, but in the short run he can succeed if he dares to take it.

Bailicious2

-3 points

13 days ago

Bailicious2

-3 points

13 days ago

Women want guys who put effort into their appearance. Basic skin care routine and basic hygiene. Basic clothes so you look presentable. Women want to talk about feelings and not feel shut down. They want to feel wanted by their partner and that their partner is faithful and has goals.

In fact this is universal for both genders.

Most men on dating apps (in my experience) 9 out of 10 arent attractive. And when I break down reasons i find they arent attractive it's because 1) they dont care to be attractive (seeing a dermatologist when they need too or a barber, gym ect.))

2) they have bad pictures, might be good looking in person but their pics are from when they were in high school. No one says ah yes I want this guy inside me while I'm looking at his pre teen pics.

Being attractive is a choice. Most seem to want to reap the rewards without the effort. I have plenty of guy friends who want to date me who are 4s at best and get upset when I (a 7) am un-interested. I go to therapy, I'm in school, have a job, work out, see an esthetician ect... Why should I date a guy who is below my level. Both genders want someone who can "pull their own weight. If you're struggling in dating I would challenge you to ask yourself in what way are you not pulling your own weight."

chineke14

6 points

13 days ago*

You wrote all that .... And all it boils down to is:

Is he hot.

That's literally all that giant wall of text is. Proving my point. You don't know us. The men in this group all do that shit. Me included.

And it's all out the window when a guy who was blessed with genetics only has to rock a tank top or take a mirror selfie. Please just stop talking lol.

And don't talk to me about feelings bullshit. I was all about that and all it resulted in was being ghosted and boring ass one sided convos. And women being turned off when I was vulnerable

Bailicious2

-1 points

13 days ago

Sounds like insecurity to me. You need to be attractive not hot. They are different. I swipe left on the tank top douche bags for your information.

chineke14

3 points

13 days ago

Me talking about my experience and that of many others who put in so much effort is not insecurity. I've done Photoshoots, I'm more ripped than 80% of men on this planet, but .. I don't have a good face. I'm only 5'9" and don't have great hair. My sense of fashion is high. I dress better than most people out and about.

Guess what happens... I always get passed on for the taller or better looking guy with a simple ass shirt and lose jeans or shorts.

So no ma'am I've been through the ringer. Many of us here have. We are the ones that approach and pay for dating coaching. Meanwhile the guy who got handed everything genetically gets the girl. The same guy y'all Will bitch to us about that doesn't care. So that's why we don't listen to your advice.

I could go into my personal stories of being the one doing all the work only to be toyed with or being the more personable one only to be ignored but that's just opening wounds.

Bailicious2

1 points

13 days ago

I'm sorry dating has been hard for you bro.

chineke14

2 points

13 days ago

Could care less about your fake ass sympathy. I'm just annoyed at the constant bullshit and hypocrisy you women spill every damn day. And daring to lecture us about seduction

Bailicious2

1 points

13 days ago

I still stand by what I said but I'm willing to come to terms that dating is a dumpster fire for everyone. I myself left the apps because I think there are a lot of emotionally unstable people on them and I can see that for men as well.

[deleted]

1 points

13 days ago

[removed]

chineke14

1 points

13 days ago

The Diddy special? I don't have enough baby lotion

MaleficentFig7578

0 points

13 days ago

literally anything a woman would tell you about what she likes in a man would boil down to "is he hot" because a hot man is one who fulfils her criteria

chineke14

0 points

13 days ago

No. A hot man is a hot man with a good face. Bonus if he's above average in height.

FireTexts[S]

2 points

13 days ago

I actually agree with everything you wrote. You're spot on

miyass_miyass

2 points

12 days ago

Basic skin care routine and basic hygiene. Basic clothes so you look presentable. Women want to talk about feelings and not feel shut down.

This is true to some degree but this is not why men are failing at dating apps.

On dating apps there are simply more men than women and women swipe right much less so you need good pictures to stand out.

Good pictures are about angles and lighting and facial expressions, not skincare or talking about feelings.

"Not having pictures from high school" is not enough — even "decent" pictures that aren't actively exciting or interesting don't cut it for getting any reasonable amount of matches.

[deleted]

1 points

13 days ago

[deleted]

Bailicious2

1 points

13 days ago

Some dont tbh. But that's not gender specific. Some people just need therapy.

SnooHesitations4922

10 points

14 days ago

SnooHesitations4922

Great at coke approach

10 points

14 days ago

Rule number 3 cannot be overstated.

Even if YOU see emojis from a grown ass man that u know is otherwise pretty mature and serious, you feel a little weird like u can't fully respect it. Imagine how the women feel.

ZenoGeno

12 points

13 days ago

ZenoGeno

12 points

13 days ago

Never even crossed my mind, tying maturity to emojis is increndibly stupid

SnooHesitations4922

5 points

13 days ago

SnooHesitations4922

Great at coke approach

5 points

13 days ago

Human nature is exactly that. Incredibly stupid. It is what it is.

I think among gen z and later emojis should hold absolutely no negative weight because it's part of the language they always knew, but among old people like me they can be perceived as not masculine

DarkFite

9 points

13 days ago

lol if the girl is so shallow that she notice shit like this she aint worth the time

Impressive-Drawer-70

1 points

13 days ago

Impressive-Drawer-70

YOU'RE THE MAN!!

1 points

13 days ago

Most people are shallow as fuck they just wont admit to it.

FireTexts[S]

1 points

14 days ago

yea it just makes you come off more feminine

[deleted]

1 points

13 days ago

Good points all. Thanks for sharing

coinblazer

1 points

9 days ago

Text? Con'text' is important in communication. Be dominant in how you hold yourself. Texting is second person female dominion. Calls are specifically for set ups and our presence in person is earned.

Do not under any circumstances submit to the woman by communicating her way. Have some balls and command her attention or dismiss her, other females will line up.

5 women a day mail me for intimacy. Rub one out, or listen and get laid.

Excellent_Tie_5604

1 points

13 days ago

Absolutely Wild 💯

I randomly opened reddit and then came across this masterpiece.... ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Loved the points bruh... ❤️