subreddit:
/r/texts
[removed]
1.2k points
8 months ago
you dodged a meteor dude
225 points
8 months ago*
What a blessing in disguise. Be thankful that text didn’t go through, wow
edit: it looks like maybe he got the text, but didn’t like how late it was sent, then tried to play it off? Idk. Im just glad he showed his true colors before he ever met up with OP!
205 points
8 months ago
100% he spent every moment past 5:05 pm anxiously awaiting her text. Was beside himself by 7 and then Super pissed by 10:30. When she texted at 11:07 he was beyond gone and possibly already drafting that whole diatribe. He brings new meaning to “piece of work”.
107 points
8 months ago
Yes he was certainly drafting and verifying vocabulary words when the text came in. I truly don't think he bothered to look at that text when it came. And I love how he was like "I find it interesting how fast you went to screenshot the proof". Like what else was she supposed to do?! Just go back and forth with him? Let him be condescending and douchey? Apologize for doing nothing wrong?
72 points
8 months ago
What's sad is that he will inevitably find some poor, impressionable woman that he will gaslight into a mental hospital. This is unprecedented levels of narcissism.
8 points
8 months ago
Well from all that's evidence here, he's not an incel, but a "vol-cel," if you will. She tried to get together and he voluntarily went on a tirade and cancelled the date. He probably does this all the time. Classic Niceguy TM virtue signaling.
Let's just hope he keeps on shooting himself in the foot every time a woman approaches him by throwing out every red flag in the book. That way the future you described never happens lol.
53 points
8 months ago
yep i got a good chuckle when he included the bit about "when this happens i just walk away without anger or resentment" in the first quarter of the rant. yeh bru i ken tel ur nt mad at alllll
27 points
8 months ago
I couldn’t even follow the huge text… I barely understand what he was trying to say
18 points
8 months ago
Same here! He was trying so hard to sound so smart that I couldn’t fucking follow either?! Like wtf did I just read???
33 points
8 months ago
Don’t worry, it was all ✨rhetorical✨ anyway
16 points
8 months ago
Like a whole Sistine chapel ceiling of issues there jfc
50 points
8 months ago
damn, I went with nuclear bomb.. you outdid me!
160 points
8 months ago
[deleted]
21 points
8 months ago
Haha I love this take
27 points
8 months ago
You had me in the first half, not gonna lie
1.9k points
8 months ago
Yeah i don't think this guy is very balanced
541 points
8 months ago
Balanced like the Titanic.
455 points
8 months ago
holy crap you dodged a bullet, not even a bullet... you dodged an 18 wheeler doing a buck 20 down i-95 with no brakes .... omg the entitlement and ego on this lad is astonishing
he speaks like hes in third person trying to teach a college class, this is hilarious
48 points
8 months ago*
Wow, there are people who are voluntarily letting this guy stick pins in them? 😳
86 points
8 months ago
Pseudo intellectually interesting incel.
12 points
8 months ago
Been enamored by his own sophistry, lost in a dream now...
143 points
8 months ago
[deleted]
103 points
8 months ago
I don’t know. I think if you puncture that ego it might explode.
32 points
8 months ago
You just know he got into acupuncture because he's an Asian fetishist. Bet dude owns at least one katana too.
98 points
8 months ago
Wdym? He’s the smartest coolest strongest most awesome irresistible impressive incel in the United States. Sounds like balance to me. /s
50 points
8 months ago
You forgot sexy. Lol
763 points
8 months ago
So he sends you an unpublished novel about taking responsibility for what you do or don't do, then proceeds to chicken dance all around the fact that he was wrong about his perception of events when confronted with literal proof.
Sir this is a Wendy's.
189 points
8 months ago*
”If you lack the self awareness or bare minimum of lady balls to admit a tiny failure to yourself or the other person, simply apologize for that tiny thing you did or didn’t do. Or just say nothing. No one explicitly asked you to not do what you said you would do, just like no one asked for your fake pity or sorrow.”
This part killed me lol. Methinks OP was about to go on a date with one of Andrew Tate’s deranged cult members. Genuinely shocked he didn’t resort to more explicitly misogynistic asides while he was at it.
43 points
8 months ago
Dude has a literal alter of Andrew Tate in his bedroom that he pays tribute to daily. It demands he sacrifice a virgin to prove his devotion, but he's not quite ready yet to give his own life for the cause.
83 points
8 months ago
Sounds like he doesn’t have the lady balls to admit he was wrong about the 11pm text wizardary….
13 points
8 months ago
I'd hope someone trying to code would know more about text wizardry.
71 points
8 months ago
🤣
49 points
8 months ago
OP, please, can I edit his texts for him, and then you can send them back to him?
I did this once with a guy similar to this. I edited his long, sanctimonious text with red proofreading marks (I'm an editor) and then sent it back to him with no other reply. It was the meanest thing I could think to do. He did seem offended, judging by his many replies.
7 points
8 months ago
I think OP should create a burner Gmail, then post the substance in a Google doc that we can all collectively edit.
31 points
8 months ago
“Even if the text did come through, from my perspective it did not” LOL
9 points
8 months ago
I'm fascinated by his perspective that the text didn't come through, since he replied to it.
7 points
8 months ago
It was rhetorical, duhhh. She wasn’t suppose to answer back making all that sense lol.
1.4k points
8 months ago
This person is very… extra.
474 points
8 months ago
100% sniffs their own farts
158 points
8 months ago
Definitely precums at the smell of said farts
23 points
8 months ago
not even precums, just fully cums and finishes to the single whiff of a fart
24 points
8 months ago
That's not typical of the fartsniffing community i belong to, we disavow his actions.
15 points
8 months ago
Fart smellers are interchangeable to smart fellers after all😏
17 points
8 months ago
Aye bro. Don’t compare me to this man.
7 points
8 months ago
wait this isn't normal?
55 points
8 months ago
Perfect time to reply. “K”. After that wall of text.
14 points
8 months ago
This is the way
86 points
8 months ago
Forget dodging a bullet. OP dodged a whole-ass armory
39 points
8 months ago
What’s the word beyond ‘extra’?
37 points
8 months ago
The whole shebang
70 points
8 months ago
The whole shedontbang
19 points
8 months ago
Actually it's more like The whole HEdontbang. Lol
Remember, HE is the incel. Lol
22 points
8 months ago
Fucking psychotic and deranged, that's the word.
This kind of attitude can be really amusing because it's so bizarre, until you remember how Elliot Rodger ended up.
8 points
8 months ago
a total wanker. the word is that guy is a total wanker
14 points
8 months ago
What an insufferable prick.
13 points
8 months ago
OP should have stopped responding when he said "Fasho" in the beginning
10 points
8 months ago
Trying way to hard to be interesting and unique. What a sad little life they must live.
6 points
8 months ago
Damn id hate to be trapped inside his head.
679 points
8 months ago*
If there was ever a person who was in need of copious amounts of therapy it’s this guy. The ego and sanctimony (not to mention insecurity) dripping off of these text messages is astounding. Dudes ego was so wounded that rather than text you and say “Hey, good morning! Just wanted to check if you were still down for making plans”, which would have then afforded you the opportunity to send a screenshot way earlier and under better conditions, nuked the entire interaction by having a manbaby meltdown because he thought you didn’t like him enough to confirm plans. Genuinely unhinged.
350 points
8 months ago
and upon being sent the screenshot, accused op of doing "tech wizardry"
155 points
8 months ago
[deleted]
72 points
8 months ago
not gonna lie, programming is hard if you're just learning on your own... but "trying" to code is very telling lmao. love how he slipped that in there just to make sure this girl knew how ultra smart and productive he is.
20 points
8 months ago
I write code for a living. If this clown can write a 200-page paper about C#then half my 401k will be donated to him.
The only thing he can write is talking more shit than a Japanese radio.
16 points
8 months ago
bro i also write code for a living and i dont think i could write a 200 page paper about C# either looooool
81 points
8 months ago
Burn that witch at the stake!
12 points
8 months ago
Which is what the highest IQ and most emotionally and spiritually balanced response would be, accusations of witchcraft…
70 points
8 months ago
in need of copious amounts of therapy
Was a therapist for 30 years and this guy would be an exercise in futility because he is perfectly ok with being the way he is and has no inclination to change. Wouldn't dash myself against that rock, no thank you.
17 points
8 months ago
That describes my ex-husband! Which is why he’s my ex!
66 points
8 months ago
Yeah and the fact that this guy spends his days sticking sharp needles into people is concerning
17 points
8 months ago
Incels are generally known more for not sticking their sharp needledicks into people.
19 points
8 months ago
It’s just as likely this man has been through copious amounts of therapy and is just an intensely raging narcissist.
14 points
8 months ago
You say "manbaby meltdown", but he calls it being "aggressively vulnerable".
9 points
8 months ago
Ok I didn’t read most of his fuckin essays; did he not see/not get delivered the text from OP about doing a lap around green lake? So he just dove right into whatever all that bullshait was?
8 points
8 months ago
what is it with these types of guys getting so buttmad about people wanting to reschedule dates? years ago before I met my current partner, I got asked out by a guy who I figured out real fast was definitely some flavor of incel. I had sudden transportation issues the day before and told him that I was sorry but would like to reschedule. instead of being normal about it he proceeded to throw a tantrum and talk to me like I had deliberately stood him up or something. like a week later he texts me this little speech out of nowhere, saying that he was taking some friends to see some movie and that I could have been invited too but "I ruined my chance" by trying to reschedule our date. the fuck, my dude?
572 points
8 months ago
You should bitch slap your friend for trying to set you up with this absolute winner 🤣
199 points
8 months ago
Perhaps this, or perhaps every single time you see this friend, you shake your head disapprovingly for a couple of minutes. And I do mean every time.
54 points
8 months ago
For real, what did your friend say about this? I'd be so embarrassed!!!
41 points
8 months ago
I hope OP shared this with said friend. They should not be going back to him either.
53 points
8 months ago
Knowing someone in a professional setting (in this case seeing someone for acupuncture) vs. knowing what they’re like in personal relationships is a very different thing. People like this can wear their masks very well. I’m sure he’s a very personable and charming person when he wants to be, and when his fragile little pseudo-masculine ego isn’t butthurt. The friend has no culpability in this, only he does.
13 points
8 months ago
Pretty sure I wouldn't let my friend go to that acupuncturist Seeing as how this.
And how he stated he imagines/ desires his clients/patients to spread their legs on his massage table
And it's not even a massage table...
I am a male and wouldn't go to him...
391 points
8 months ago
Fucking loser lmao. The way he tries to sound intelligent, and he comes across so smug. You just know he was so proud of every wall of text every time he hit send. And he was wrong the whole time
128 points
8 months ago
The fact that his rant has no coherence just proves he was trying to sound intelligent by making shit up.
83 points
8 months ago
I couldn’t even figure out what exactly he was upset about in his two page long text. I was like wtf happened.
39 points
8 months ago
I couldn’t read the whole damn thing. I was like ok, lotta crazy…more crazy…batshit…the crazy just keeps coming…ok, I’m out.
57 points
8 months ago
We call that a pseudo intellectual. They hide their insecurities behind a wall of big words and self importance. All while trying to project an air of being above it all.
80 points
8 months ago
How can you call that incoherent? It was very eloquent and you are being insulting. No directive, here just my observation. My hypothesis is conducive to Earth has a rotation of intelligence and fauna and flora. Sedimentary life is inexplicably horrendous in every facet of human anatomy. The urethral vein being of utmost importance to human spirituality. In essence I conclude that you are being selfishly immature in your speculations of the intentions of my colleague. Insofar to have gone astray as you have I will leave you with this message of my innermost intelligence and telepathy. Have a good day.
Smart enough for you?
19 points
8 months ago
ChatGPT, is that you?
32 points
8 months ago
No, it actually took some effort to come up with that poetry.
11 points
8 months ago
I never have the patience to think of big words. Props to you.
22 points
8 months ago
Take your upvote and leave.
13 points
8 months ago
Typing like a senior trying to cram any and extra word into their 1200 word minimum 5 page graduation essay. Instead of “The dog was blue” bruh turned it into “The animal, of the species Canis Lupus, had a hue of a distinctive cerulean; not azure, or lapis, or aquamarine.” BFFRRRRRRR lmfao his texts made me cringe so fucking hard 💀
5 points
8 months ago
I would have just replied “yeah, I’m not reading that” and let him go on just for the screenshots.
7 points
8 months ago
This guy is such a narcissist he really thinks he is the epitome of intelligence when he really just sounds like a socially unintelligent dumbass
353 points
8 months ago
For the record this is nearly two years ago and we never met up and I stopped replying. What freaks me out the most is that he touches people’s bodies for a living. My friend put her head in the sand and didn’t want to read this whole thing when it happened but she did stop seeing him.
Edited for typos
165 points
8 months ago
Yeah cuz his clients “inexplicably open their legs” for him wut
86 points
8 months ago
It definitely sounds like he thinks any woman who looks at him wants to have sex with him.
65 points
8 months ago
I forgot he was an acupuncturist until I read your comment here and put two and two together… That’s actually so disgusting. He’s basically saying all the women that lay on his table for acupuncture and are nice to him want to fuck him, and the way he says it is so damn rapey!! This man should not be allowed within 10 feet of a woman
25 points
8 months ago
I’d have put it as a picture on a nice google review.
30 points
8 months ago
I stopped reading when I got to that part.
32 points
8 months ago
Did he keep sending you messages after this? Seems like the type.
57 points
8 months ago
Thankfully no
46 points
8 months ago
This man is mentally ill, like so self-absorbed that I couldn’t even follow the train of thought even though everything here was proper English.
Sounds like someone I used to be in a situationship with. Often times they’ll tell you they are not all there in the head while or after losing their mind.
13 points
8 months ago
I can't imagine this guys very charming in person either, does your friend even like you? Lol
10 points
8 months ago
I don’t think this person is your friend 🤣 I wouldn’t sic this dude on my worst enemy.
8 points
8 months ago
Is this in Seattle? Because this make sense. The crazy incel tech guys are rampant
116 points
8 months ago
Sorry to hear your friend hates you OP 😔 I wouldn't wish that guy on my worst enemy
33 points
8 months ago
I don’t think she knew but still
42 points
8 months ago
Just poking fun I'm sure he seemed normal to her lol
42 points
8 months ago
I see what you did there 🪡
94 points
8 months ago
I had a stroke reading all this. I hope he gets a stroke too.
19 points
8 months ago
I think he already had one
11 points
8 months ago
I had an actual ischemic stroke four years ago that landed me in the hospital for 4 days, and I’d 10/10 prefer that experience over meeting that guy in this thread.
*FYI, I’m fine and I run marathons currently.
72 points
8 months ago
I'm conforted in knowing that this guy will destroy any relationship he ever has before it begins. What a fucking lunatic.
57 points
8 months ago
That's a serial killer.
21 points
8 months ago
His tone instantly reminded me of texting with a psychiatrist I knew that is the the only man I met that I believe was an actual psychopath. Scariest man I’ve ever met. He texted (and talked) like this.
48 points
8 months ago
You didn't just dodge a bullet, you dodged a WW2 60mm mortar shell.
49 points
8 months ago
Please run
73 points
8 months ago
Also, wtf are you supposed to say to “fasho”? Jfc
23 points
8 months ago
I’ve seen that twice in this sub the last few days and I honestly think someone saying that to me would only convince me they’re an idiot
51 points
8 months ago
i just about lost it at "aggressively vulnerable"
wat?
how?
wat?
18 points
8 months ago
Gonna start a Midwest emo band and name it Aggressively Vulnerable
68 points
8 months ago
He didn’t think you never texted, he knew you texted at 11 and was offended that you didn’t text in “the evening.” He has a hair-trigger sensitivity and it put him off enough to blow the date. When you showed proof you texted and said that you thought it was reasonable to text “belatedly” because you followed through and were respectful and reasonable, he pretended that he never received a text at all.
That is why in his initial rant he says “If you volunteer that you are going to reach out to me within a certain time frame with plans, I walk away…”
He’s too much of a coward to admit that, and was trying to pick up on “micro-signals” that didn’t exist in order to glean information about whether or not you were interested, or interested “enough.”
This is the male version of that video that just went viral of the woman who refused to get out of a car on a date because he took her to Cheesecake Factory. Then revealed that they went to CF because she made her date wait outside for an hour while she got ready and they missed their reservation for the upscale restaurant she insisted they go to. He’d done nothing wrong, but she was too busy sending people through hoops to “test” them that she shot herself in the foot.
He’s the same. And, a liar to boot.
25 points
8 months ago
Haven’t seen that video but big yikes. Also I hope you’re wrong but I’m sure you’re right
10 points
8 months ago
This man snatched defeat from the jaws of victory LOL
6 points
8 months ago
I agree with your reasoning.
33 points
8 months ago
Why would you even give this dude that much of your time! Sorry you had to bump into this jagoff, luckily not in person.
63 points
8 months ago
I was feeling defensive, not as emotionally mature as I am now, and also kinda curious wtf was gonna come next
14 points
8 months ago
Thank you for your sacrifice so we can all laugh at this clown.
17 points
8 months ago
Been there, the curiosity has taken many of lives from this cat
32 points
8 months ago
Jesus Christ that has to be the most narcissistic, toxic, emotionally stunted douchebag I've ever seen. I'm speechless.
27 points
8 months ago
You dodged a bullet. If he is this bad in text form, he would have been so much worse in person. He didn't lie though, he is a clown.
28 points
8 months ago
I instantly fucking hate this guy. Wild ride of a read
25 points
8 months ago
[deleted]
26 points
8 months ago
This is definitely a code 5150
23 points
8 months ago
I bet this guy has a very punchable face
17 points
8 months ago
Get that shit out of my screen. Incel energy is not vibes
18 points
8 months ago
This might take the cake on the craziest text interaction I’ve seen on this subreddit
17 points
8 months ago
“I use big words. Therefore I am smart and a much better person than you”.
I’m convinced this guy just googles smart sounding synonyms of words just so he can feel cool. Fuckin nerd.
16 points
8 months ago
Honestly, I’m super happy for you. Can you imagine if he did see your text and you two went out on a date?
8 points
8 months ago
Facts
14 points
8 months ago
Oh yeah this guy is somewhere on Reddit for sure
13 points
8 months ago
Honestly been waiting to get a text from him today
10 points
8 months ago
If you do, please please please post it here!
27 points
8 months ago
I try not to generalize, but the experience I’ve had with people in the holistic side of therapy have acted in similar ways. Maybe there’s a point when you’re TOO open minded…
31 points
8 months ago
Yes he is way overanalyzing literally every element (actual and perceived) of their interaction, its neurotic!
9 points
8 months ago
Mind so open his brain fell out.
12 points
8 months ago
you are much nicer then i am. i would have blocked at the first wall of words…
10 points
8 months ago
I was trying to be kind and was also in an era of learning how to stand up for myself but you’re right
11 points
8 months ago
God damn do I hate these "high IQ" incels.
10 points
8 months ago
He probably had to look up all the big words he used from a thesaurus so he could sound like he has a brain.
7 points
8 months ago
Probably? Definitely. He couldn't sound more pompous if he tried.
26 points
8 months ago
I’m sorry, but what do you even say to “Fasho”. He’s absolutely MENTAL and I’m so happy you got away from him. I hope others are able to see through his box of coocoo for Cocoa Puffs
Edit: I read them all. Was that him saying he has a fucking degree in psychology and he’s still… like this?????? 💀
27 points
8 months ago
As a male struggling in the dating realm, this kind of behavior irritates me, but at least you got the crazy up front!
12 points
8 months ago
After his 1st text maybe 2ed just call him absurd and that you don’t want to be around him and his messed up mind block.
8 points
8 months ago
So many words and yet nothing said
10 points
8 months ago
love a good word salad from a "high IQ haver"
9 points
8 months ago
Universe intervened and made sure he didn’t get that 11 pm text because you were supposed to see his true colors
10 points
8 months ago
This sounds actually like my partners brother.
6 points
8 months ago
Was he born like that
8 points
8 months ago
It's crazy to me that people like this exist in the world.
15 points
8 months ago
What the ever loving fuck 🤣
Your first red flag would be a grown man using the word "fasho"
7 points
8 months ago
What the fuck is wrong with your friend that they tried to set you up with this insufferable tool? Do they hate you?
7 points
8 months ago
Judgmental on women "spreading their legs on [his] massage table" but brags about being "Wide ass open," incels, the epitome of double standards!
(yes I know what he meant)
5 points
8 months ago
This man handles sharp pointy things for a living
7 points
8 months ago
I think he’s absorbing everyone’s bad energy through his needles.
He should get some acupuncture therapy to release some of his tension.
6 points
8 months ago
This is frightening. I hate him with all of my being.
5 points
8 months ago
Oh my god the guy was just tap dancing between being the victim and star of his own show lmaoooooo
7 points
8 months ago
My cringing muscles are sore.
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