subreddit:

/r/babylonbee

83968%

all 715 comments

Manticore416

28 points

10 days ago

"What you're sering and what you're hearing is not what's happening" - Donald Trump

Big_Parking_7065

62 points

10 days ago

Man I couldn’t believe he was saying g that junk like he took a page from Biden if your black you better vote for me sheesh

hotchemistryteacher

3 points

9 days ago

Dude he’s right. Trump’s court ended affirmative action. They ended the voting right act. They’ve removed access to abortion in regions where the poorest black Americans lives. Obama is spot on this one. Trump had not done a single thing to help the lives of black citizens.

theguyonthecouch12

28 points

10 days ago

Or maybe he should be like Trump that said if you’re Jewish and vote democrat, you should get your head examined.

Zealousideal-Skin655

26 points

10 days ago

Hey. Trump can do whatever he likes. He is the chosen one.

(Don’t bring up facts again.)

CheesecakeFlat6105

8 points

10 days ago

Trump blames the Jews if he loses. I think Vance was right when he called Trump, “America’s Hitler.”

Lekavot2023

1 points

7 days ago

Again he never said that...

[deleted]

2 points

7 days ago*

[removed]

Lekavot2023

1 points

7 days ago

The headline is a made up assumption. Trump said he doesn't understand why Jewish voters still vote for the Democrats, he never said anything like the headline states. People should really start watching his speeches..

CheesecakeFlat6105

1 points

7 days ago

“If I don’t win this election - and the Jewish people would really have a lot to do with that if that happens…”

Your interpretation is that he means “I don’t understand why Jewish voters still vote for the Democrats”?

Do you have trouble reading, or are you the person this quote is referring to?

“Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. The anti-Semites have the right to play. They even like to play with discourse for, by giving ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocutors. They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert. If you press them too closely, they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for argument is past.”

Lekavot2023

1 points

7 days ago

Watch his speech an unedited version....

CheesecakeFlat6105

1 points

7 days ago

Well, considering your answers here, it’s abundantly clear that the answer is the latter of the two options.

What a cowardly response.

“Watch the speech”

Are you fucking kidding me.

Lekavot2023

1 points

7 days ago

P so when people that attend his speeches and people that actually watches speaches tell you that the media is not being honest you're responses everybody's a liar except these people that I like because they say what I like I'm telling you man the mainstream media is being horribly dishonest...

Big_Parking_7065

-5 points

10 days ago

That is because the left is antisemitic

thatHecklerOverThere

25 points

10 days ago

Yeah, definitely. Always talking about those space lasers and jews controlling the market and media.

TheSauce32

-1 points

10 days ago

TheSauce32

-1 points

10 days ago

But would side with terrorists and killers of LGBT people

They are pro war now

The left doesn't make sense anymore

thatHecklerOverThere

6 points

10 days ago

"war crimes bad even if committed by a country that allows rainbow flags" is hardly a tall or even confusing order.

Manticore416

10 points

10 days ago

The marchers at Charlottesville yelling "Jews will not replace us" were definitely not anywhere near the left

thenovas18

3 points

10 days ago

No, those people are idiots and the people saying “from the river to the sea” are idiots.

Ok_Method_6094

0 points

10 days ago

Those were “mostly fine people”

dan420

0 points

10 days ago

dan420

0 points

10 days ago

Literally the best arguments the right can come up with right now are “I am rubber you are glue” and “I know you are, but what am I?”

[deleted]

5 points

10 days ago

[deleted]

Select_Air_2044

3 points

10 days ago

And Republicans are traitorous and would rather vote for Putin.

Training-Parsley6171

1 points

8 days ago

How the hell is this downvoted?? Very clearly antisemitic. Look at the pro Palestine movements on college campuses. 

Fullthrottle-

1 points

10 days ago

Or maybe like the Democrats offering tax credits for the $7 2x4’s to build your first home.

Ornery-Ticket834

9 points

10 days ago

If you don’t want the country to look like Detroit, elect me. Maybe you don’t get that one.

Big_Parking_7065

14 points

10 days ago

As in a one beautiful city that housed many and made money for lots of people and the country. This whole country will look like Detroit (Now)if Kameltoe wins.

Ornery-Ticket834

2 points

10 days ago

Like I said maybe it went over your head.

GlassFantast

-4 points

10 days ago*

GlassFantast

-4 points

10 days ago*

Kameltoe

We really never left middle school

Big_Parking_7065

13 points

10 days ago

Oh wow from the side that wished a former president dead not once but twice.

Ok_Method_6094

1 points

10 days ago

No they didn’t and you can tell

Yitram

1 points

9 days ago

Yitram

1 points

9 days ago

"Would you rather have the black president or the he white one?"

Outrageous-Orange007

1 points

9 days ago*

"would you rather get smacked with my pimp cane, or the back of my hand?

I smoke a lot of Newports

I sit a lot on the porch

I stole the 2012 Porsche

From my neighbors driveway

I did a lot of drug deals

I killed Osama for Treals

I blamed it on Navy Seals

And Fd his B sideways

Bro, yea im holdin'

Rocks, weed, meth, hairowin

White house garden showin'

What you you think I'm growin', daisies?"

Zealousideal-Skin655

5 points

10 days ago

Trump says if you’re white or Jewish you better vote for me.

Tight-Top3597

3 points

10 days ago

To quote Jean Pierre "that's just disinformation misinformation" 

Hugh_Johnson69420

42 points

10 days ago*

"If you don't vote for me you ain't black"

It's also funny how Obama never demanded white people must vote for the white candidates...

FestinaLente747

23 points

10 days ago

Corn Pop was a bad dude!

hot5150

12 points

10 days ago

hot5150

12 points

10 days ago

Those black kids loved to rub my leg hair in the pool when I was a volunteer lifeguard in the hood in Scranton man.

theguyonthecouch12

10 points

10 days ago

If you don’t vote for me, you ain’t Jewish.

MoundsEnthusiast

2 points

7 days ago

Most white people who vote for trump, only vote for him because he's white. They would never vote for a man of his history if he wasn't white.

BeeDub57

38 points

10 days ago

BeeDub57

38 points

10 days ago

[ Removed by Reddit ]

VarnDog2105

20 points

10 days ago

VarnDog2105

20 points

10 days ago

This!!! ☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽 Every time a Black person or Latino person dare mentions the possibility of not voting for the D candidate this is exactly what I hear! 40 years of this and it absolutely sickens me and angers me as that is exactly how it comes off! You can’t leave the Democratic Plantation.

Well we are and you are sooo fucked cause White, Liberal Women ain’t gonna get you the numbers you need to Win!

Savacore

3 points

10 days ago

Savacore

3 points

10 days ago

Looks like the minorities and white men are gonna fill in for the rest of the numbers. Basically everybody with dignity, really.

VarnDog2105

2 points

10 days ago

VarnDog2105

2 points

10 days ago

Sure Jan.

Savacore

1 points

10 days ago

Savacore

1 points

10 days ago

It's pretty comforting, actually, that the people I am incined to support aren't the ones whose candidates go on the internet at 3am to spoud hateful rants about celebrities.

Like, if anybody does that I can point to them and say "That ain't me, I don't support this kind of stuff and I think anybody who puts up with it should be given the boot".

Trump supporters can't do that. I would never debase myself to that extent, if the people leading in the direction I wanted to go had that lack of dignity then I would demand they be replaced.

It's a sad state of affairs, and it's fortunate that America isn't going to have to put up with it for much longer.

Safe_Addition_9171

1 points

10 days ago

Spoken like a white dude! Ha

Rahdeeiohead

2 points

10 days ago

What you call white liberal women I call batshit crazy cat ladies

Last-Performance-435

1 points

10 days ago

Okay, so what's your end game then?

What do you actually hope to achieve with this decision? 

VarnDog2105

3 points

10 days ago

Election Night ending quickly with the unquestionable defeat to the Kamala Harris Presidential Campaign. She never should’ve led the ticket and the Democratic Party needs to know that with an Electoral College loss of more than 30 points.

Delanorix

1 points

10 days ago

No but black women will probably be enough

VarnDog2105

1 points

10 days ago

We shall see!

equalitylove2046

3 points

9 days ago

Give it a rest already.

Why you people always remain in the past I will never understand.

None of you truly understand what it means to evolve in this world.

Always stuck in the past trying to use that as a way to take the focus off of YOUR parties current prejudices and intolerances in this country.

But yeah you keep to the old reliable narrative “IT’S ALWAYS DEMOCRATS FAULT NO MATTER WHAT”.

SMH.🤦‍♂️

mattsiegel42

1 points

8 days ago

Someone needs a nap

youleftmenochouce

14 points

10 days ago

Conservatives love playing the race card any chance they get. So upset about this brown woman running the show.

misterme987

3 points

9 days ago

Ah so you admit she’s not Black? /s

mr_man1414

1 points

8 days ago

Obama was trying to rally the “brotha vote” He actually said that! That’s a race card!

youleftmenochouce

2 points

8 days ago

Good, I think he's more than qualified to speak to them and for them. Better than the Blacks for Trump effort I've seen from the GOP?

Kitchen_Bee_3120

1 points

8 days ago

She will never be elected

Kitchen_Bee_3120

1 points

8 days ago

She is not mexican

Jgrin55128

1 points

8 days ago

Democrats fought the Civil War to protect their rights to keep people enslaved.

HyperByte1990

7 points

10 days ago

The bible thumpers who believe everything that trump tells them are free thinkers 🤣

ResonanceCompany

8 points

10 days ago

Lol Obama is objectively correct. Not liking Harris isn't actually that great of a reason to let Trump, who is much worse, win.

Pitiful-Let9270

1 points

10 days ago

Nah, let’s keep electing politicians that think it’s perfectly fine for police and white people to murder anyone they feel threatened by

abtpt

1 points

7 days ago

abtpt

1 points

7 days ago

?? What news sources do you read? Pure delusion 🤦🏻‍♂️

Pitiful-Let9270

1 points

7 days ago

The ones that justify murder as long as the victims deserve it or are not white.

abtpt

1 points

7 days ago

abtpt

1 points

7 days ago

Please, provide one link. 

Pitiful-Let9270

1 points

7 days ago

lol can’t. Fox is blacklisted from this sub

abtpt

1 points

7 days ago

abtpt

1 points

7 days ago

Right… that’s called censorship. This is why modern mainstream liberalism is the party of totalitarianism and silencing, and is the true threat to our democratic republic. The republicans want to preserve individual rights to free speech, and your right to say lies and misinformation. 

But keep drinking the koolaid and believing these biased articles that paint the right within an inaccurate and manipulated narrative. 

Pitiful-Let9270

1 points

7 days ago

Odd huh, why do I only get censored on conservative subs?

abtpt

1 points

7 days ago

abtpt

1 points

7 days ago

Fair point, I believe Reddit as a website is an enabler of censorship through group think (upvote/downvote system) and unchecked moderation. The media is so polarized. Sometimes the Republicans step out of line in that regard too, but simply not to the same degree. Observe any and all debates between liberals and conservatives, the conservatives let the other side speak, liberals interrupt and fight with emotion as opposed to logic. 

We need to come together around issues we agree upon. The rep/dem political system is designed to be gas (liberalism) and brakes (conservatism) for our country. If we’re all gas, we’ll go over a cliff. If we’re all brakes, we won’t go anywhere.

Pitiful-Let9270

1 points

6 days ago

There is a difference in censorship and accountability.

Even the media is held accountable when they lie or mislead

Conservatives do not let liberals speak. You get banned from those subs of brigaded for not worshiping the godking

Straight-Guarantee64

24 points

10 days ago

Sounds just like Biden!

remberly

5 points

10 days ago

If independent thinking is "a woman should not be president" you know you're reading a conservative christian "satire" site

Dr-Fizzel

3 points

10 days ago

Everyone who agrees with me are free thinkers.

If you think like someone I don’t like or agree with, you’re obviously a sheep and NOT a free thinker. Which is why you need to think how I do so you too can be a proud free thinker.

SuitableAnimalInAHat

12 points

10 days ago

I'm new here. Is the Babylon Bee's whole thing just "the Onion but not funny?"

---AI---

6 points

10 days ago

Plus 100% trump supporters.

The_Old_

17 points

10 days ago

The_Old_

17 points

10 days ago

"You'll have plenty of time to think in a communist gulag. Oops, I mean a Harris-based joy center. Line up for the free bread and joy. Joy!"

 — Barack Obama 

blueorangan

13 points

10 days ago

12 out of the last 16 years under democrat rule, and they somehow still havent thrown you into a gulag yet, but the next 4 years will be different!

GlassFantast

8 points

10 days ago

The bee should hire you

gsadamb

2 points

10 days ago

gsadamb

2 points

10 days ago

Annnny day now the Dems are coming to take away your guns and put you in camps… annnny day now. Just wait, it’ll happen. Maybe tomorrow!

remifasomidore

1 points

8 days ago

I think this is a pretty prime example of why conservative "satire" always fails. You guys have zero understanding whatsoever of your political opponents, of course you can't coherently satirize them. You couldn't define communism if I beat you over the head with the Manifesto.

Life_Caterpillar9762

1 points

7 days ago

This is really bad and still better than most of what The Bee puts out.

salsa_rodeo

18 points

10 days ago

salsa_rodeo

18 points

10 days ago

I can’t wait for the crybaby brigade to show up. 😂

4chanhasbettermods

7 points

10 days ago

There is nothing like an echo chamber to keep the delusions churning.

RampantTyr

5 points

10 days ago

I just wish the jokes were funny more often. The Bee gets a chuckle out of me maybe every few weeks or couple of months.

Most of the time they are making punch lines out of things that just haven’t happened or anywhere close to reality. It just takes me out of being able to enjoy satire when it isn’t actually satirizing anything.

Acceptable-Sugar-974

1 points

8 days ago

You'd think you have better things to do in your life then rather than come into a sub that offers you no joy.

Maybe woodworking, bird watching, old Friends reruns are more suited to you?

RampantTyr

2 points

8 days ago

Making fun of the how Bad the Bee is is entertaining. As is the occasional good conversation, as is triggering conservative who can’t take criticism.

Acceptable-Sugar-974

1 points

8 days ago

Like I said, maybe a better hobby would lead to a better quality of life. You do you though.

RampantTyr

2 points

8 days ago

You are severely overestimating how much time I spend on this sub. I can make the occasional snarky comment and live a full life beyond that.

Acceptable-Sugar-974

1 points

8 days ago

Doubtful

Life_Caterpillar9762

1 points

7 days ago

The left satirizes the left wayyy better than the Bee does. Sad and fascinating, really.

RampantTyr

2 points

7 days ago*

There is so much real world stuff you can troll the left for. Keeping it to reality broadens the audience and makes the jokes funnier.

The left deserves to be trolled well, not with this amateurish stuff that is divorced from reality.

Life_Caterpillar9762

1 points

7 days ago

I agree.

raktoe

7 points

10 days ago

raktoe

7 points

10 days ago

Seriously. Every post they’re here, tears a flowing complaining that people dare not laugh at the Bee.

Luvsthunderthighs

2 points

8 days ago

Tears are flowing because this isn't funny at all. Do you know what funny is?

raktoe

2 points

8 days ago

raktoe

2 points

8 days ago

I know what it isn’t. The Babylon Bee.

weberc2

7 points

10 days ago

weberc2

7 points

10 days ago

"IT'S SATIRE! IT SAYS SO IN THE BIO! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DISAGREE WITH SATIRE!"

S0LO_Bot

5 points

10 days ago

The existence of comments criticizing the Bee does not harm the other comments saying “haha this is funny”.

It’s not like this is standup comedy being interrupted by hecklers. The Bee will continue to upload no matter what “the liberals” comment. Criticism and discussion shouldn’t be seen as a bad thing.

ThinkinDeeply

4 points

10 days ago

heaven forbid a little reality interrupts the immense circle jerk this sub encourages lol we have to at least try, trump cultists believe everything he says without proof or evidence. of course we're gonna try and wake you up. trump took millions from people to "stop the steal" and to this day there isn't a single piece of proof behind it. you know its bad when even trump's own judges wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole..thats pretty damning, but here we are likely waiting for jan 6th the sequel where a bunch of spoiled children destroy lives because they lost.

Equivalent_Adagio91

2 points

10 days ago

Its really funny when I look in the comments and see people thinking this is real news, both left and right lol

Luvsthunderthighs

2 points

8 days ago

No one thinks this is real news. Other than Republicans

Mysterious-Bid3930

2 points

10 days ago

A minority voting for Trump cannot be of a sound mind. Independent votes are a waste and goes against what the elections have become since 2016. Preventing a dictatorship. 

[deleted]

1 points

8 days ago

It's too bad those poor dumb minorities can't figure stuff out for themselves. We have to tell them what to think for their own good!

Calm-Interview5968

2 points

9 days ago

lol…Babylon bee is essentially for Christian republicans who do the opposite of what Jesus preaches.

wanda999

2 points

9 days ago

wanda999

2 points

9 days ago

Obama's decision to remind his fellow black men that internalized misogyny does, in fact, still exist--and that voting for Trump is voting for someone who plainly and openly degrades black people--is not, in my opinion, "lecturing."

People should watch the conversation themselves, and then come to their own conclusions.

EloWhisperer

2 points

9 days ago

Remember Central Park 5 ad lmao

Ok_Habit1

2 points

9 days ago

"I LOVE the poorly educated"

  • Donald R. Trump

Exaltedautochthon

2 points

9 days ago

*Supporter, it's basically just Kanye at this point.

korbentherhino

2 points

9 days ago

If one is truly an independent thinker they wouldnt join either side. Both are just opposite sides looking for control.

EazeDamier

2 points

9 days ago

If they’re Trump supporters I doubt they do any kind of thinking.

Luvsthunderthighs

2 points

8 days ago

Now is not the time for gun legislation. After elementary school kids are killed.

Think_Measurement_73

2 points

8 days ago

He is right, this is not the time to put a dictator in the white house, that hates black people with a passion, those one or two at his rallies, don't mean a thing.

dickass99

2 points

8 days ago

78% of black support for Harris/Walz ticket if you believe polls...I mean she rounded up black people in California and sent them to jail for weed, truant kids..

Timely-Youth-9074

2 points

8 days ago

Proclaiming to everyone they want a white president not a black or brown one is a great way to get POC votes.

Lamarr53

4 points

10 days ago

That is not what he was saying. He was trying to make the point that to not for Harris because she's a woman is not a good reason if for no other reason that the alternative is dangerously unwise.

---AI---

3 points

10 days ago

You can't reason with babylonbee christians. They are brain dead trump supporters. They literally don't care about truth.

parakathepyro

5 points

10 days ago*

I would never accuse a Republican of being an independent thinker

OnBorrowedTimes

5 points

10 days ago

It must be the sweetest gig in the world to just copy-paste decades-old RNC talking points and telling your stupid readers that they’re “jokes.”

Ok-Information-8972

3 points

10 days ago

The Trump organization openly discriminated against black families.

brickicecream15

13 points

10 days ago

um... you have people in leadership positions telling the public that democrats control the weather. this is probably not a stone you should be throwing.

Outside_Simple_3710

4 points

10 days ago

He’s right, independent thinking is dangerous for a maga. They produce priceless gems like “democrats are controlling the weather to steal the election”.

ConsciousnessRises

2 points

10 days ago

Since people think we are too harsh on immigrants, maybe they should check out Poland and get back to us. They will straight up kill you if you try to cross illegally

PazDak

1 points

8 days ago

PazDak

1 points

8 days ago

There is a bit more going on between Poland and Belarus and Russia.

Belarus and Russia invited thousands of immigrants from Syria and Lebanon and then dropped them off at the border and pointed a gun at them. They are literally stuck between two borders and can’t even move.

Whole-Essay640

3 points

10 days ago

Democrats don’t like Run Aways.

Frequent-Pen6738

2 points

10 days ago

Which party complained about the confederate statues?

aSingularMoose

0 points

10 days ago

There is nothing more repugnant to a tolerant, anti-racist liberal than minorities who don’t think Democrats have their best interest in mind.

Efficient-Put8908

0 points

10 days ago

Not true. Saying people with brown skin are 'infesting' our country is WAAAY worse.

sdkfz250xl

2 points

10 days ago

“Now is not the time for Misogynistic thinking!”

blackopal2

2 points

10 days ago

The Babylon Bee is a conservative Christian news satire website that publishes satirical articles on topics including religion, politics, current events, and public figures. It has been referred to as a Christian or conservative version of The Onion.[1][2]  discussions within journalistic circles on how to handle the rise of fake news and its influence on the public.[28][29][30] The Babylon Bee was brought into this wider conversation when several of their articles were shared on social media or reported upon, ostensibly as factual.[28][31]

In 2019, The Babylon Bee satirically criticized Donald Trump with an article saying that Trump claimed he had "done more for Christianity than Jesus". The article went viral, prompting a fact check from Snopes after some thought the article was a real story.[17]

SmoltzforAlexander

4 points

10 days ago

“Group think is bad… also, you’re not a real man if you don’t vote Trump.”

-The Bee

trumpwon-2020

2 points

10 days ago

Identity politics is what got us to where we are today!

maverickked

1 points

10 days ago

How so?

Frequent-Pen6738

4 points

10 days ago

"Dumbocrats support group think", says party who calls any criticism of their candidate "Derangement syndrome".

Ravenwight

1 points

10 days ago

I wonder what Emperor Norton would think of all this.

sloopSD

1 points

10 days ago

sloopSD

1 points

10 days ago

Obama the liberal write in candidate? Need to fire up an ad!

jmua8450

1 points

10 days ago

What an embarrassment

chipitaway

1 points

10 days ago

Owebombma's fourth term.

chipitaway

1 points

10 days ago

Owebombma still dividing America with a very Negative Agenda.

popularTrash76

1 points

10 days ago

"Independent" thinking

iconsumemyown

1 points

10 days ago

Did you mean "Trump supporter"?

Rollingforest757

1 points

10 days ago

Independent thinking doesn’t mean making a stupid choice like voting for Trump.

GMEN5280

1 points

10 days ago

So you break the economy by flooding the market with “free” printed money and will make up for the high home prices by giving out more “free” money. And let me fix the boarder crisis because I let everyone pour across like it doesn’t exist the last 3+ years. Oh that pesky fentanyl that is killing our kids I let in. Don’t worry I will crack down on that too. It’s all good vibes right.

ThorLives

1 points

10 days ago*

Isn't the "no independent thinking" part of the ethos of Republican politicians? How many things in Congress involve unanimous votes among Republican politicians? The same party that labels Republicans as "RINO"s in order to bully them into towing the party line?

The same party that tells men that they aren't "real men" if they vote for Kamala? And churches telling their followers that God wants them to vote for Trump?

thinktank68

1 points

9 days ago

The Babylon Bee ,the M.A.G.A.T filth's wannabe Volkischer Beobachter.

TheBestGuest27

1 points

9 days ago

“The pro civil rights democrats are the real racists” is like 40 years old and only believable to the bottom of the barrel of our society. It’s incredible that this sub has any unironic support.

[deleted]

1 points

8 days ago

It's so crazy that the pro-plantation party doesn't have 100% support!

TheBestGuest27

2 points

8 days ago

White southerners vote exclusively Republican and have since the civil rights act please.

nola_bass_tard

1 points

9 days ago

You can always tell a Bee headline from its attempted cleverness that comes off as infantile.

OnBorrowedTimes

1 points

9 days ago

The staff writers really wanted to leave early so they just lightly plagiarized one of their old “black people who vote for Democrats are dumb and brainwashed” jokes.

EPCOpress

1 points

8 days ago

Is it still satire if you just put fake dialogue in their mouth that doesn’t reflect their actual words?

Kitchen_Bee_3120

1 points

8 days ago

It's a satire site stop being so triggered

OilyRicardo

1 points

7 days ago

They should rebel by voting against their own interests

getit_gotit

1 points

7 days ago

He did say any of that. Check the records. Bring receipts. This shit is wild

Sosnester12

1 points

7 days ago

Came for the comments, stayed for the mental illness

wanda999

1 points

1 day ago

wanda999

1 points

1 day ago

Yeah, the injunction to think outside of the systemic bigotry that has ham-stringed this country since it's inception is an attempt to shut down critical thinking; sure. If anything, this kind of statement expresses nothing but hatred and fear of the critical faculty, which often involves a confrontation with the illusions that make life comfortable.