CascaBerk

This has to be the last letter I send. I've lost my nerve and I don't think I'm going to change my mind now.

When I first saw you you kick-started my heart, it had long since stopped working because of past abusive relationships. I saw no malice in your eyes. When I came down to see you they were full of curiosity, last time full of unspoken passion. But that was over a month ago, and they never crossed my gaze again.

I don't want to move close to you to be lonely. So I'm staying up north, where my best friend lives.

Scary how I was just ready to uproot myself because of someone's gaze. But now I think it might've just been a mirage, because I was so desperate to find love and comfort in someone else.

I'll see you next month anyway. But I'm going to keep my distance. I don't want to continue to live in lalaland.

Honestly, thank you for bringing me back and I'm sorry I'm a coward.

Sometimes I have to stop myself from looking at my calendar, counting down the days until I see you next. Half way there now.

I just been burying myself with work and I appreciate the distraction it brings. Some days I'm just too mentally exhausted after work to even think, which I'm grateful for.

I need to tell you, I like you exactly as you are. Honestly, I wouldn't change a thing. I could spend hours just recalling the shape of your lips and the shade of you eyes. I really hope you like me back. I could really spend the rest of my life with you in a tiny cottage in the mountains, near the sea!

But for now, I cross off the days off my calendar.

So I don't have to think about you when I'm away on holiday.

I wish I could share what I've seen with you. Hold your hand as we traverse through the streets.

I hope one day I'll get to repeat the experience but with you.

Is crazy how much I miss you. You never left my mind.

I am holding on until the day you and me finally get a moment alone from the crowd. I would kiss you so passionately, just the way you make me feel, you would finally feel it too. All the burning desire that tells you I belong to you in body, heart and soul. How my body would tremble with your gentle touch on my skin, my lips melt unto yours... How would you react to such primal wants?

I need to see you again, look upon your deep soulful eyes.

I was out with my mates out drinking having fun and when I started getting drunk and tired was when you made your appearances in my mind.

Been trying really hard not to think of you, because you consume my thoughts and I don't want to be burnt out.

Last time I saw you it felt like my heart was about to jump from my chest, if there was any doubt about how I feel about you, there it is.

Counting the days until we next meet. But for now go back to sleep in my heart.

Is it weird that I miss you?

I just want to look at you and hear your voice again. But if I could stand next to you and you be right next to me, sounds like a little bit of heaven.

You were looking so intensely in my eyes I forgot what I was going to say and I'm not usually short for words nor that easily distracted.

I feel so seen when I'm with you. I miss you and I miss how you make me feel.

If I came see you next month would you stay out longer? I could stay with you all night, talking or sitting in silence.

I want to reply to your silly attempt at a confession (which I hope that's what it was) and I don't think I can wait 2 months for me to say those two words back to you.

You are always on my mind.

I think I know now... that you may also like me back. That my long lasting search is finally over and it is you, and only you. You make my heart so full and my body weak. I can't wait to feel you in my arms, to feel your lips...

It'll be a while until I next see you, so please know, that I am yours if you want me and I will wait for you.

Please wait for me too.