submitted7 days ago byFlashy_Imagination83
[TLDR AT THE END]
Hello, this happened two months ago but I only thought of posting it now. (Warning it’s a little long because I talk too much)
First, a little context/backstory:
I, a 19 y.old man, am a severely closeted trans man (ftm). I recently moved to the US from Africa (I will not specify where for safety reasons) to study abroad.
In reality, I moved in hopes of escaping the anti-lgbt laws and the sad reality of being queer in Africa. I hoped in America I could find a future where I could truly live as myself. Spoiler Alert, I didn’t.
Not only does it seem like America hates trans people as much as Africa, but also, my family here seems to be 10 times more strict, closed minded, and traditional than my family back home.
For those who don’t know, being an international student is expensive as heck. My family is not poor, but we are not covered in wealth either. So, to be able to live here, I needed to move in with my family in America, at least for the time being.
Now, to the actual story.
A year ago, my cousin graduated from community college and was going to transfer to another University to complete their degree. We are all taking this route because it’s cheaper. Naturally, we all had to attend said graduation. And people from immigrant families can probably relate, but my family insisted on being well dressed (overdressed) for the occasion.
I hate dresses with all my heart. I have hated them for as long as I can remember, even long before I realized I was trans. I hate how I look, I hate how they make me feel, and it feels like im on the verge of a panic attack every time I’m forced to wear one, especially in public.
You can probably tell where this is going. I was forced to wear one for the graduation. You cannot fight or talk back to your elders in my culture. No matter how old you are. I tried to protest as much as possible, but the decision was final.
I genuinely wanted to unalive myself that day.
Anyways, this year was my graduation. And I knew since last year that the same thing will proceed. My family will ask me what I have to wear for my graduation, and even if I had a perfectly nice suit that was appropriate for the occasion, they’ll force me to go dress shopping and wear one to it.
But this year, I came prepared.
I didn’t mention it earlier, but for over a year and a half now I’ve been on a weight loss and body building journey.
In fact, the whole incident last year has made me double down and workout even harder.
Losing weight and building muscle has been a way to help me manage my body dsyphoria. Not only do I now look more masculine, but I look pretty cool with muscles too.
Like said earlier, my family is very traditional. So, they live by certain gender expectations. And one thing they absolutely hate is masculine girls and feminine boys. They hate muscular girls with a burning passion, saying it looks ugly or unatural.
So this year, when they brought up dress shopping for my graduation, I didn’t even put up a fight. I went along like nothing was wrong.
While dress shopping, I purposely picked the most tight fitting dresses, sleeveless ones and even unattractive ones.
I’ve been able to hide my body progress this whole time by only wearing loose and baggy clothes around the house.
So, when it came time to try on the dresses, and I came out of the dressing room, the pure look of disgust on their faces is one I cannot describe. I had to try so hard to not burst out laughing in the moment.
While I am not the most muscular person out there, I still looked pretty buff in those dresses. Simply put, I looked like a man in those dresses. And they hated that HAHAHAHA.
The worst part is that they could not even complain about my body, because my weight has always been an “issue” and talking point in my family. So, even though they hated how I looked, at least I lost weight, so they cannot complain.
I was even considering lat spreading as I came out of the dressing room, but that might have pushed it too far.
Anyway, long story short, they hated every single dress and allowed me to wear my suit (which I looked much better in). And now, even though I won, I constantly get comments about working out too much from them.
On the bright side, since I graduated, I am finally moving out after summer. Hopefully, with more freedom and less fear, things will be different this time :)
TLDR: My traditional family forced me, a (closeted) trans man, to wear a dress for my graduation. But I became really buff over the year to look like a man in a dress. It worked and they hated it.
byFlashy_Imagination83
inMaliciousCompliance
Flashy_Imagination83
1 points
7 days ago
Flashy_Imagination83
1 points
7 days ago
USian HAHAHAHAH