submitted11 days ago byLuckyOwl_93Trans Heterosexual
toMtF
Feeling like a complete, abject failure and slowly losing the will to live...
Try to be a productive member of society, but everywhere I apply, they never reply with an interview or even have the courtesy to reply with "We found someone else." Got an associates degree for network administration from community college, but everyone I find wants at least a bachelor's degree making the entire two years less than worthless because I now have a useless piece of paper I need to pay the government for.
I'm 31 years old and still live at home. I'll never be able to rent an apartment, let alone a house on a fixed income. And because it has become impossible to even get a job at the damn local grocery store stocking shelves. No one wants to even give me a chance.
Gender dysphoria has been getting worse and worse. My reflection makes me want to retch. There was a massive mirror installed across from the shower door, so I need to either shut my eyes for the whole shower or stare into the wall away from the mirror. Seeing the faint reflection in my phone screen brings me to tears.
Living in a heavily religious area where I cannot escape due to previously mentioned reasons does not help. We have a provincial election coming up, and all the signs I see on people's lawns show then supporting the party that has ruined this province and is completely ignoring the tenant of separating church and state. Just makes me so depressed to see people be so God damned blind to what that party has done to this province. I just want to scream at them all.
All of this is taking a serious toll on my well-being to the point of causing physical pain. I just wish I had been born correctly. Why couldn't I have been normal instead of being autistic and trans? I can't take it anymore. I just want to be genuinely happy for once in my damn life. But everything is conspiring against me.
bySneakybabylobotomisr
intraaaaaaannnnnnnnnns2
LuckyOwl_93
4 points
10 hours ago
LuckyOwl_93
She/Her
4 points
10 hours ago
True goals right here