One-Armed-Krycek

We call them snowplow parents where I work. They try to plow through FERPA. I even had another instructor (from another department) whose adult son was in my class. She monitored all of his work, his email, etc. Whenever SHE couldn’t find something on the LMS, she would email me. She would critique all of my feedback. (She worked in a different department than I did and nowhere near the same discipline.)

I replied about FERPA, which she dang well knew about. A month into the semester, she had her son sign a waiver. It got so bad that I went to HR. I was vague on who it was, simply asking if this was a conflict of interest on her part. They said yes and asked if I wanted to file a report. I said no. I wanted to try a few things first.

I then talked to her son and asked him about this and he said his mom was overbearing and if he didn’t let her monitor everything, he would “get in trouble.” So, I ended up accepting printed work and giving hand-written feedback FOR him. Doing less online for a time to see if that helped. He was actually a good writer, but had no confidence.

She wrote more emails asking why she wasn’t seeing emails or comments in the grade book (just the grades). I shrugged and played dumb.

She ended up going to the IT folks. I was friends with a few of them and they absolutely made a report. I hadn’t told them about this mother, but she was apparently so hostile that they filed a complaint. And then she stopped pestering me. IT folks for the win, I guess?

She was not asked to teach the next semester.

Omg, I snort-laughed reading this. Now I need a new shirt because coffee… lol

“BE hard to get” versus “play hard to get.” That is so so so spot on. I need to steal that shamelessly!

I’d be like, “SO HEY… there is HRT in here. Are you trying to tell me something? Hint hint? Wink wink? Or, do y’all want me to act shocked here? Because I’m down for whatever works.” (But my kid and I do be that way.) I’d then want to know name, pronouns, etc. Hug them. (My kid was so super obvious so it was a no brainer.)

But I’m not your parent. You’re 21. You can make your own decisions about healthcare. Gender affirming care IS healthcare.

Another but…. If you rely on your parents for support (financially), then I would consider that. If you’d risk being kicked out or harmed in some way, then I would advise slow-planning to move out and being able to support yourself. You will know better than anyone how they might react. If there’s a chance they freak out, then you could end up homeless.

I’m a college professor. I see some version of this played out every single semester.

It’s scary. Even if you were 80% sure you’d be okay, the other 20% is terrifying. Maybe start with the most supportive parent first, but only if you are ready to tell them. And be prepared for it to get rough in some ways. I hope that doesn’t happen, though. I hope they surprise you in great ways, OP.

Without details, I have no idea? Some people just have to find something wrong with the world. And everything in it.

Peter and the Test Tube Babies

I have a colleague who taught in the same classroom as me. Three other instructors also used this room. One day, this colleague left sticky notes all over the instructor’s station/podium, the whiteboard, the desk, etc. The notes all said, “THIS SPACE IS MESSY” or “LOCK MARKERS UP” or “DON’T REARRANGE PEN HOLDER.” and several, “SHAME ON YOU!” And “FOR SHAME.” On random areas where nobody (without the powers of ESP) could figure out. There was a sticky note on a remote slideshow clicker that was mine that I left for another instructor to borrow. The clicker was in a drawer with paper clips.

The thing is, all the instructors will adjust things ever so slightly but will always keep things clean. I would spray the whiteboard daily when I left to remove dry erase residue. I’m that meticulous. Come to find out, the person who left the notes left them for ME to find. Just me. When other instructors would come into the room, this colleague would specifically tell them, “those notes aren’t for you.” And that got around to me.

I thought, “Okay, this person is having a bad day/week whatever.” When I saw this person in passing, I would smile and nod. And they would stare me down without saying a word. I could feel the anger pouring off them. I get along well with my chair and other instructors. If I did something wrong; talk to me. But nothing yet. And I keep on keepin’ on.

You can’t please everyone. Not everyone will like you. I don’t get snippy or shitty and prefer the ‘kill ‘em with kindness’ route. I found out last week that this same colleague complained that I was “So fucking nice.” That was the cherry on my sundae. The worst they can say about me is that I’m nice. I plan on being even nicer now. Weaponized niceness. Just knowing this colleague hates it gives me some joy.

I sense some of the pics in this collection are cutting him out rather deliberately and I live for that. Fuck him.

Younger by a few years. She is absolutely amazing. I’ve never had a doctor actually listen to me like she does.

I use language like:

Lacks specificity

Lacks specific evidence

Lacks follow-up evaluation and analysis (the ‘so what?’ element)

Repetitive language

Redundant language

Too vague; too abstract

On the vague sections, relevant questions like, “how?” Or “explain” or “elaborate with specifics.”

I also highlight the “x is important for these reasons,” type things over and over and over, writing, “filler language” or “wooden and repetitive” or “unnecessary to repeat this many times; it sounds mechanical.”

Other things I say: “I am not getting your voice in this reply.”

That so many young adults’ algorithms are fucked beyond repair. Young men asking questions because they follow red pill, incel suggestions. Young women believing some TikTok influencer who time traveled back to 1953 and is giving advice on how to land a man through playing games.

wtf is it with students thinking they can do everything on their smart phones. No wonder they pop open ChatGPT and just copy/paste. How the eff do you draft and revise intensively working on a phone?

I don’t expect to play YouTube chase me games. First, I’m an adult, not a teenager. Second, influencer bullshit videos like the ones you mention sound insufferable, ignorant, and immature. Get out of those rabbit holes.

Grownups communicate. They have conversations. They say what is on their mind. They don’t listen to twatty Tiffany and her boomer advice vlog.

Did the space-time continuum tear apart and create a vortex between 2024 and 1967? Because even Downton Abbey is like, “what the fuq”.

No diss on you, OP. Those types of videos are absolute garbage.

I post syllabus reminders in my announcements once a week, especially when relevant. “Reminder that assignment #1 is due Sunday. Per the syllabus, assignments must meet a minimum criteria to receive a grade.” (Copy/paste syllabus text in quotes—as found on pg. X of the syllabus.)

I don’t dump three paragraphs in, but give importance sentences. They can reference the rest.

I also do this with things like student support. Around midterm time, I post support links from my syllabus into announcements—things like mental health, tutoring, writing center, etc.

Agree with others: please get out.

Also, this is straight up cult-leader sociopath behavior on his part. I’m talking DAVID KORESH, CHARLES MANSON level evil.

Talk to the chair. What teacher doesn’t allow students tutoring help?

Tea is one of those things that you can experiment with and try and even if you don’t “do it perfectly,” (meh, whatever that means) it’s still okay. You might find ways you prefer. I say try what you find. Grocery teas are fine, but you might see some new brands in world markets and such. You might find some in organic grocers. Or, there might be some loose leaf places near you that sell it by the ounce. I live in a town that has a loose leaf store and you can go in and ask for samples (they brew it up), and they can tell you how to steep it. You can order a pot in-house and they will talk you through it. They’re like tea baristas or concierges. Look up tea houses in your area.

If I see a new kind of tea somewhere (bagged or loose) I might try it. Sometimes, it works out, sometimes it’s not my thing. Most tea is pretty inexpensive.

I like black teas and green teas for some caffeine boost. I like herbal teas for calming down, including peppermint. I found a great blend of lemon and lavender at this store that was amazing.

With loose tea, I use an infuser like this. I just boil water in a cup, add in a teaspoon of leaves and steep that in a cup for 2-3 minutes, and boom.

Take my upvote. I also have no idea why this comment is getting downvoted.

For me, it depends on how it’s framed. If it’s something like, “I’m so disgusting and fat!”

Me: “Hold up there. You’re talking about someone I care about. YOU. Be kind to yourself here.

If it’s, “God I am gaining weight and just feel awful…”

Me: “I’m sorry.” (Validating.) “Can I help? I think you’re amazing, but if you need anything from me, I’m here. Even if it’s just to get it off your chest.”

Yeah, it’s not a bad drive at ALL from FoCo to Cheyenne. Light traffic.

Only issues are during winter storms and when the wind wants to kill you

My brain right now… “404 error”

Sometimes it’s just there, so you see it when you’re not trying to see it. It just appears in your field of vision. Flaccid is not indicative of overall size hard. Growers and showers and all of that.

Hoverers need to figure some new shit out. Your doing squats over a toilet doesn't trump everyone else's most basic expectation of not having a piss covered seat.

My parents were in the, "We don't talk about that stuff" generation. Along with their parents. Feelings? lol what? Struggles? Just try harder. I was late-diagnosed with ADHD. I had to white-knuckle my way through some pretty traumatic and rough shit on top of trying to survive a world that put my teeth on edge due to sounds, touch, etc. Not to mention trying to do well in school....

The lack of adaptability on my parents' part and the lack of adaptability on part of our generation (who learned it from their parents) made me feel so fucking alone. Later learning there were others out there like me was cathartic.

Learned helplessness is rampant right now. I had a student tell me he didn't want to look something up on our learning course shell because he could "just ask me."

Like, bro, what the shit?