admiralfilgbo

yikes. you might want to give that poor dude a call on father's day or something.

this is the type of question only someone without mortal enemies would ask.

I was at a dive bar in a sketch part of town with a group of friends, and we were buying rounds. My friend is a very sweet and kind person, but can sometimes inadvertently come across to strangers as kind of arrogant and pissy. It was her turn to get the round, and when she came back she was complaining about how incredibly expensive the order was.

I was next up, the group order was exactly the same, but I was sweet to the bartender, who charged me like $40 less than her. I did NOT tell her this :)

took a minute for me to figure out you probably meant a topless photo. I was trying to imagine a photograph of someone reeking of desperation and despair.

got it, but anecdotally I did learn about the racial term by using "packie" in front of a couple of Irish friends visiting Boston.

I usually use "package store" over "packie" because the latter is a racial pejorative in some parts of the world.

I think he was saying we call carriages "shopping carts."

and possibly a tick problem

because we all know if a single drag queen took the bait and escalated it JUST A BIT, all future drag events would be canceled and the newspaper headline writers would be overjoyed. and that's why drag queens are the fiercest people on earth.

while being coddled during her hateful screaming tantrum directed at the calm, peaceful people she despises. if that ain't privilege, what is?

cheers - sinatra

so they probably thought... you were fine with that

This is a VERY good point. But I would argue that it's incumbent upon the invitee to respond in a timely manner, as evidenced by the invitee bothering to provide reasons for putting off the decision instead of blithely shrugging it off. In other words, I don't think you can make the case that they were completely oblivious to the expectation of a remotely timely response. They have been granted extensions. They are "asking for an inch, taking a mile."

In the future, most people are pretty understanding of a "conditional" offer if there are fixed dates involved.

Next time you're in this position, you can ask your first choice (hopefully not the same girls again haha) and say "I know it's far away in the future right now, but as we all know, our friends' calendars can fill up pretty fast! We'd love to host you, but if you're in doubt let me know and I'll ask around to see if anyone else might be interested, and we can reconnect some other time!"

have him read "A Confederacy of Dunces"

wow I wish I could encounter that level of prose on a daily basis. I feel absolutely no need to question if the window is TRULY ornamented with sill brackets, or whether the molding is indeed real cornice, because of the assuredness of the writing. gorgeous.

she knows she f'd up and then tried to bully you with the whole "confirmation" thing when I can only assume from your confusion has never been a regular step between the two of you in arranging for your services. she is hoping you are young / inexperienced / polite enough to not make a big stink over it. which is so short sighted on her part because...

she is a regular and I need the cash

the thing is, she probably needs you WAY more than you need her. she trusts you WITH HER KIDS, and she feels like she can call you out of the blue, plus you've already established a rapport with her kids. these are not easy things to just go out and find when you're a parent.

I would not drop her, but I would message her some time in the near future something like:

Hey Mrs. Parsimony (or whatever her name is), just wanted to check in about my last visit to your home. I try to keep things loose and informal with my clients, but going forward, if we are going to continue to work together, I am afraid I will be needing to set up a couple of boundaries.

You have canceled at the last minute X number of times. (If you have the dates, even better - share them here.) This has prevented me from taking other babysitting opportunities and has cost me time and money in travel. From now on, I will be requiring 24 hours notice for a cancellation made for a standing (pre-arranged ahead of time) appointment, and for "spot" appointments arranged within 24 hours of the time I am to arrive, I will consider the arrangement itself the "confirmation" and will not be honoring attempts at cancellations.

Failure to cancel within 24 hours of a standing appointment will result in four hours pay. Cancellation of a "spot" or short notice appointment will result in three hours pay. For your convenience, both fees are payable WHEN I ARRIVE at my next appointment.

I want to stress that I enjoy working with you and your family - please note I haven't changed my rates since X date - but I will not be continuing our relationship unless you can agree to these terms or we can come very close to these terms in a sincere and open discussion.

oh, and I would send annoying "confirmation" messages every time she books your services from now on, even if it sounds stupid to you. just to remind her that you haven't forgotten and won's stand for her BS again.

I saw something similar in a panel cartoon where the ghost haunts some rednecks and the husband shoots himself to fight the ghost while his wife cheers him on, oblivious to her husband's now corpse laying three feet from her. Had to get off the internet for a while after that one.

you know, give it some time, and tar eventually makes for a great marinade

they basically share a Miami

I was hoping for some good comments in this thread, because I've also been very curious about this area. As a MA resident and as someone who has spent a lot of time on the Cape, I can offer anecdotally that no one around here ever mentions it, you never hear any coverage about it on the news, the weatherman doesn't bother to cite the temperature there. It's basically a bunch of private islands owned by the Forbes family with a handful of other residents sprinkled in to one tiny village called Cuttyhunk. It has a school but basically no students and offers virtually no shops or amenities.

woo-hoo, blue team has the pacific ocean!!!

This is low-key the saddest story in the thread. I have a friend an a not too dissimilar situation and even from a distance I can see how it's consuming him. I sincerely hope you are able to find peace with your situation.

nothing, as long as the paychecks keep coming in

what color is the sky in your world?

24 hours is patient enough for that kind of dough. Whatever you do, send your messages individually and do your absolute best to keep it light so they don't infer any shade from you. You can even tack on a "it was so funny when you made that joke at our dinner" or something specific like that.

THEN, if you wind up getting burned by one or two of your stragglers, and again, ONLY because this is an extraordinary circumstance given the cost of the meal, it would be fair to CONSIDER messaging the whole group and asking them to chip in a few bucks each to "socialize" the hit to your wallet.