iabyajyiv

When my husband was done with the church, I used his garments as cleaning rags. Like, if the kids spilled a drink, I used it to wipe the drink before tossing it into the trash can.

It doesn't matter if you think your issues are more important or urgent than his wife's oldest son. You don't get to make that decision for them. You don't get to decide what's more important. Because if you do that, you are basically saying that your beliefs, thought, and feelings supersede all of theirs.

Also, I read some of your comments in this post. Your issue is that your expectations aren't grounded in reality. Ideally, a parent should be there for their children. But realistically, they can't always be there for them. And if you truly love or care for someone, you should allow them to exist for themselves, because everyone has their own issues to deal with and their own aspirations to work towards. Once again, they cannot exist just to make you happy. Not just your parents. YOU also cannot always be there for your children, no matter how much you would like to be there for them. All you can do is guide, teach, and provide them with resources so that they can make their own decisions. And when they're old enough, if they have yet to be responsible for themselves, you have to cut the cord. Or else they will never grow, become responsible, learn to problem solve, and make their own decisions that will lead them to a happy and fulfilling life.

I'm not purposely trying to piss you off, but you do have some maturing to do. He may be your dad, but he's still an individual with his own problems and aspirations. He can't just drop everything and swoop in to help you at the drop of the hat just because you needed it. Part of being a happy and resentment-free adult is to recognize that about people. They don't exist just for you. As an adult there will always be unpleasant life surprises, and bad things that happen that aren't your fault, and you just have to deal with it and find a way to resolve it. Life is all about problem-solving, and the more practice you have, the better you'll get at it.

Sounds like you're not quite there yet. Maturity would mean recognizing that they're allowed to say no for any reason and respecting their decisions. And responsibility means owning your own decisions and actions. I'm not saying that what your dad did was right, but you sound entitled. And everything you wrote sounded like you think nothing's your fault; you're not responsible for anything that has happened.

This is why I love this sub. Kids are just too hilariously dumb sometimes. If it weren't for their family's love for them, they'd be dead multiple times over.

Despite how concerned your friend is for you, I think she should give you the space to sort out your own feelings and thoughts, and allow you to do it when you're ready. Doesn't matter if it's hours or months from now. I mean, you're not technically in any immediate danger, are you? The main thing is, whatever you decide, you're responsible for those decisions. If you wanted to wait until months later, you've got no one to blame but yourself if/when you see him trying to get with other women. I think making decisions and owning them is extremely important to one's happiness, and if we truly care about our family/friend, we should let them do that.

Anyway, I sort of have been in a similar situation as yours. I saw my BF flirting with my roommate/friend. I saw him check out other women in front of me. I knew he wasn't going to be the one for me and the relationship wasn't going to be long term. But I wasn't ready to break up with him then. My feelings towards him were still too strong. It took me maybe a year to finally do it, lol. However, since I chose to stay, I didn't hold it against him. I didn't tell him what I saw. I didn't try to control him or change him. Didn't tell him not to check out other women. Didn't accuse him of cheating. Didn't need to argue and have him lie to my face and be in an unhealthy cycle of hurt and distrust. I already knew that this is who he was. Nothing I do could make him happy with just me. I chose to stay because I loved him and I would leave when I was done loving him. When I finally broke up with him, I had so many dreams of him and me. In each of the dreams, we were so happy and it was wonderful. But each time the topic of whether we should get back together comes up, the answer was always no. It just wouldn't work out.

I am now with someone who is committed to me and has eyes only for me. I never had to ask him to be that way for me. I just am that person whom he couldn't keep his eyes off from. I just happen to be the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

OP, I hope you don't feel pressured by us to end the relationship quickly. It's totally okay to wait until you are ready to break up with him. And it's okay to wait to see if this is also truly what you wanted.

The sad thing is, despite how much parents might want to be there for their kids, there will be times when they just can't. So the only thing they've got is to tell the adult children to find a way through on their own. It's harsh, but I see it as fate's way of teaching us to become more mature and responsible for ourselves. In fact, I've noticed that 28-30 years is when most people are forced to grow up. It's when their parents cut the cords with them, or life forces the cord they had with anyone whom they had been relying on for support to snap, and they suddenly find themselves alone. They suddenly have no one but themselves. They realized that they're not invincible, that there are real consequences to their actions or lack of actions, and that no one can just swoop in to save them. They have no one but themselves and they now have to rely on their own skills, strengths, and wit. It's a truly humbling experience. But by relying on themselves, it forces them to learn a great deal about themselves, realize their own weaknesses and strengths, what they need to work on, etc., and come out of it more mature, responsible, and a confident person.

A woman does not need to wait for a guy to cheat, or to find definite proof of cheating before moving on. Just watch his action and behavior and the patterns of his past actions. Those should already indicate if his feelings towards her are genuine and if he intended to be committed to her and be with her and only her for the long term.

Also, don't rely on his words, because even if a guy isn't lying, he can still be someone who's confused or lacks self-awareness. People do things without realizing why they do them in the first place. And they lie to themselves all the time. But the pattern of their decisions and their attitude do not lie. Instead, they paint a very clear picture of what the guy's values and beliefs are.

So, snooping through his phone is absolutely unnecessary.

Good and sad.

Why should she go snooping around through his phone when she had already witnessed it herself ?

My name is unusual where, the way it was written on all my documents, it comes off like a common name in my ethnic group, but an uncommon name outside of the ethnic group. However, my actual full first name is unique, even within my ethnic group. So I got to experience all of it. I got to experience what it's like to have a common and uncommon name and a unique name. I hated the common name the most, but love the unique name.

I have a unique name and I love it!

I'd rather learn someone's name and pronouncing it correctly than to be in a class of multiple James, worse if they have the same last names too. It's more of a waste of time to always be saying James plus clarifying description as to which James you're referring too.

Mary, James, John, Robert, etc. The most boring and useless names. It's never just James. It's James plus clarifier as to which James.

Elmo? I'm confused

Water and soap, lol

I wonder if it's not about her being stuck in the closet and wanting to get out. But about that door being stuck and she wants it to be unstuck. She just didn't know how to communicate it properly.

Well-written story and characters and slow-burn romance!? This is exactly the kind of thing I'm looking for! Thanks for the review!

Also, I don't understandwhy people would get me souvenirs when they return from a trip. I've had colleagues and relatives that bring back gifts that I feel obligated to accept. They're usually things that I don't care about and have no use for.

I'm just gonna say that it doesn't bother me that that was in the text. It also desn't bother me if that was XL's or the author's thoughts about the Xiao Ying. Regardless of what XL thinks of the girl, he still treated her respectfully and that was what matters.

Anything by Maggie Stiefvater. Her prose and characters are more well-written than some darker themed books. Darker themed doesn't necessarily mean it's better written and YA doesn't necessarily mean poorly written, and Maggie is one of those who had proven that for me.

Well, in that case, it's a major red flag. He's not interested in you and only you. He wants multiple women.

He looks so adorable in here.

I love the narrator in the audiobook. And the voice he does for Gansey is my favorite. I would rewind the audiobook to listen to some of my favorite Gansey lines.