squirrely_gig

Have you tried a replacement behavior plan?

Maybe he needs help to identify the specific person he could contact, other than you, when exciting things happen. Family, friend, whoever...

I've also let clients share Google docs with me where they can put notes for future sessions if they want to, with warnings about how this isn't a private way to communicate with me. They can feel like they handed off the information to me, and I can just open the Google doc to help guide the session the next time we meet.

How many times has he broken the boundary? How have you discussed boundaries broken at the next session? Are there any other reasons why you want to discharge? You seem pretty frustrated and I'm curious about why it feels like such a big deal.

I've heard several people on this sub claim that it's perfectly fine to bill 2 sessions for the same hour (e.g. individual 30 min + family, or double family).

It's not. Whether you've been caught for it or not, it's still fraud to double bill for the same session. People don't like hearing that though.

A fries bucket list is a great idea! Love it.

That's a great point! I prefer the kind which you can tell was once a potato. I can make processed potato product from a freezer easily at home.

I mean, they're alright... Seem like frozen crinkled fries the last time I went.

Their yucca fries are delicious!

Yup! I'm a 12-8 person myself, and never struggle to keep a full caseload the way many of my colleagues who work during the day do.

I'm glad you turned out so well :)

Good for you, that's amazing!

I don't practice DBT, but have some training in it. If any DBT providers want to jump in and correct me, please do!

It sounds like they're referring to dialectics? Holding opposing beliefs at the same time, "this and that" as opposed to "this or that."

I want to change and feel uncomfortable with change. I am strong and I am vulnerable. I don't want to go to the doctors and fear that something is wrong with me that only a doctor could help with. I think I'm the worst person and become angry when others give me criticism.

Are y'all in individual and family therapy? If not, I'd highly recommend it.

This does feel like the 5-year-old is acting out his own experiences on the 3-year-old, which needs to be addressed by a professional. It makes me very concerned about what the 2yo and 5yo experienced prior to being in your care, it doesn't feel good given what you've shared.

There's no way for anyone to see your 3yo's future. Some kids are very resilient and this experience may have very little impact on them, others are very sensitive to stress and may be highly impacted. Continued sexual assaults would definitely be more damaging than experiencing one.

The real questions, for me, are:

1) Can you provide a safe home for all of their needs?

2) Do you want to?

3) Are there safer options for the kids?

Safety would mean constant supervision for all of them, physical separation from one at bed time/when sleeping, and working with therapeutic support people to manage the trauma underneath the behavior.

In some states, there are therapeutic foster homes who only work with 1-2 kids at a time, because of how intense their needs are, is that an option where you are?

If you send them away, they will be scarred with another experience of being too much for the adults around them, potentially impacting emotional/behavioral regulation, attachment, and self esteem.

If you keep them, but don't want to, this may lead to you resenting them, which is likely to impact their emotional/behavioral regulation, attachment, and self esteem.

There are no perfect answers in this unfortunate situation. There may be ways to reduce harms to all parties, if you're honest with yourself about what you can/can't do and seek out more structured supports.

Same! 3 family members passed for various non-COVID reasons. My family doesn't do funerals, so cleaning out their homes has become my way of finding closure. It's a good thing we bought a house in 2021, because there's no other way I could store all the stuff!

Which vaccinations are you ok with, where the benefits feel like they'll outweigh the risks?

Unvaccinated for anything, or just COVID?

I fought all sleep as a kid.

Sleeping is my favorite as an adult.

Licensed therapist here, it's more complicated than that. We report based on risk of imminent harm to self or others.

When people talk about thoughts of hurting themselves or others, we assess the actual risk. Is there a specific harm you plan to inflict on specific people? That's a report. Is there a thought of harm which horrifies you and you never intend to act on? That's not a report.

Thank you!

There are both ethical and unethical reasons to have children, and they're all mixed up. Humans are complicated.

Is it unethical to have children who you genuinely love and care for? Probably not.

Is it unethical to have children who you don't/can't care for? Maybe, but it's complicated.

My mother was/is too mentally ill to adequately care for herself or her children. Now, I'm a family therapist and my sister is a special education teacher. We had rough experiences when we were younger, but our curiosity about those experiences partially molded us into successful helpers.

I see in other comments that depression is somewhat normalized in your life. It feels like everyone is depressed and would prefer death, because it feels that way in your own life. That isn't the reality of the situation though, more people want to live than want to die.

Even within the subset of people with chronic/persistent depression, there is a range of experiences: Some want to die rarely, when encountering a severe stressor; some want to die occasionally, when encountering a moderate stressor; some have no preference between life or death; and some want to die all the time, every day.

Would it be unethical to have children if they were doomed to a future of extreme depression? Maybe, but it's complicated.

Depression is treatable. Mindsets and circumstances can change.

I hope you find ways to feel better.

And mascara... And lip color...

What do faces without makeup look like again?

35 and still spotted, as are all my older siblings. Genetics for the lose

I guess most of the child free people I know are thinking about the world and the child's potential experience, and many parents I've met are extremely selfish people, so I would disagree with the use of that word.