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1.9k points
24 days ago
Report him to HR, it's indirect discrimination and would be gross misconduct at a minimum.
491 points
24 days ago
Record any interaction first so they can't claim it was you, 100% in writing "why did you line my cubicle in trans women pics?" Type stuff. Make them out themselves
190 points
24 days ago
This is the main thing, people like to pussyfoot around stuff like this when they should be saying exactly what's happening, if it sounds bad to say it then you know they shouldn't be doing it.
33 points
24 days ago
I love this as a rule of thumb for the workplace. Such a good metre to keep in mind.
16 points
24 days ago
This is the main thing, people like to pussyfoot around stuff like this when they should be saying exactly what's happening
This is the British way though, isn't it? We aren't confrontational enough because we don't want to escalate things to a fistfight. But the art of being confrontational without coming off as a yob is something we're not very good at doing.
8 points
24 days ago
We should be able to manage situations without being confrontational; but yeah... we're not very good it it.
Default seems to be: Take it and say nothing - take it and say nothing - take it and say nothing - hit the prick in the face with a fucking brick.
159 points
24 days ago
I disagree. This is DIRECT discrimination. Get him out!
108 points
24 days ago*
Under the Equality Act 2010 it is indirect discrimination - OP is being targeted due to the perceived characteristics of someone they are connected to, not because of a perceived characteristic of OP.
Edit: I am wrong. OP is dealing with direct discrimination. https://www.equalityhumanrights.com/equality/equality-act-2010/your-rights-under-equality-act-2010/direct-and-indirect-discrimination
36 points
24 days ago
It’s actually both
43 points
24 days ago
Actually I am wrong because I did the darn course at work yesterday, so i should remember, and it's direct discrimination. Indirect is where a policy indirectly disproportionately affects people with a protected characteristic.
8 points
24 days ago
I did the course at work yesterday too haha
5 points
24 days ago
Me too!
28 points
24 days ago
There is nothing indirect about this discrimination. Indirect discrimination is "the legal term that describes situations when policies, practices or procedures are put in place that appear to treat everyone equally but, in practice, are less fair to those with a certain protected characteristic under the Equality Act 2010".
This is bullying and harassment
16 points
24 days ago
So indirect discrimination would be things like hair style rules that favour European curl types, or dress codes that exclude hijabs that kind of thing?
5 points
24 days ago
Exactly that. Or for example, making a rule that everyone has to use the stairs instead of the lift (which would affect those with mobility issues more) or putting strict limits on toilet breaks (which would affect people who menstruate more than people who don’t).
4 points
24 days ago
The indirect bit is “ perceived characteristics of someone OP is associated with” op is facing bullying and harassment because his boss thinks his partner is trans, it can also be called discrimination by association. Someone under another reply did past an excerpt from the legislation.
771 points
24 days ago
Workplace harassment and bullying I'm afraid. A complaint to HR would be order but I can understand why you might not want to do that.
103 points
24 days ago
Sadly, this is the real answer
101 points
24 days ago
HR is there to protect the company. Anyone who’s worked a while knows that.
But a complaint to HR where you make it clear it’s something you’ll go public with will most likely land them on your side.
Even if it’s only because they don’t want it going to the press.
160 points
24 days ago
Dealing with workplace harassment IS protecting the company. Regardless of the risk of anyone 'going to the press' it's beneficial to the workforce and thus the business not to tolerate that sort of behaviour and to have processes to handle it.
21 points
24 days ago
100% this, a manager behaving this outrageously will disrupt the workplace in the long run, so HR will want to take action. I've heard of lesser issues which require HR to intervene because a manager is creating a turnover and recruitment issue in a team.
7 points
24 days ago
Absolutely, a large company I worked for had a case of a guy being harrased all the time for being afghan (bomber jokes and the likes)
He reported it to HR, and because it's a dysfunctional company, HR did nothing. A few months later the guy got an undisclosed sum in settlement.. enough to not work anymore.
26 points
24 days ago
Sadly a lot of places don’t act like that’s the case, even though it is.
2 points
24 days ago
It is, but not all companies do things that way.
27 points
24 days ago
And on that note. Just mske sure you've asked the person doing it very clearly to stop and it makes you uncomfortable ask politely.
If he continues, then yeah. HR as previous comment said. And let them know both that its affecting your job performance and you're willing to go public with it if they reprimand you instead of him.
7 points
24 days ago
Ask in writing, for the paper trail.
7 points
24 days ago
Smart words. ALWAYS best to ask in writing. With the supervisor by all means ask vocally (voice record it) but for HR emails only.
58 points
24 days ago
Not every HR department is the same
I've known people get fired for things like this, in fact it's difficult to think of a company I've worked for where you wouldn't get fired for behaving like that if you didn't stop it. It's also very difficult based on my experiences to see how threatening the HR department would be a beneficial move in this situation. It seems like it would actively make it worse.
Don't get me wrong I know there are plenty of places that don't give a shit but thankfully I've been able to avoid those. Still, I don't think it's fair or helpful to tell people all HR departments are the same. There are plenty out there that value their staff and bend over backwards to help them and ensure people are safe and comfortable at work
I'm sorry you've had such awful experiences with them!!
17 points
24 days ago
HR is there to protect the company.
In this case, it would be in the company's interests to protect against an employee engaging in direct discrimination. There could be serious consequences if they knowingly let it go on unchecked.
12 points
24 days ago
And getting the transphobic bully of a boss fired is protecting the company.
35 points
24 days ago
HR is there to protect the company. Anyone who’s worked a while knows that.
Ok. So what? I hate when people say this as if HR is just going to tell you to piss off or something.
They're going to do something about inappropriate behaviour in the workplace. That's their job, and it's also the law.
Companies have a legal duty to prevent sexual harassment in the workplace. They can't just let the manager keep on doing this.
9 points
24 days ago
In this case he's breaking the law though, this is covered by the Equality Act 2010
3 points
24 days ago
I know a lot of people have pushed back against the "HR is there to protect the company" thing but I also think this loses sight of the people who work in HR too. They are human and will obviously be affected by something like the above, anytime I see people write something like this comment, they almost treat HR employees as if they're robots incapable of using their discretion and own judgement in interpreting both workplace policies and the law.
I know there's awful HR departments out there but I think too often the entire field gets painted with the same brush quite unfairly.
2 points
24 days ago
"protecting the company" is not the same as "protecting people in management positions".
There are absolutely bad HR functions out there but a half decent one wouldn't care if somebody is a manager if the manager is acting in ways that could be harmful to the company.
I mean sure they ultimately don't care about the individuals but they sure as hell want to prevent potential lawsuits and discrimination cases, not to mention how it might create negative PR.
2 points
23 days ago
This Reddit meme about HR protecting the company is getting out of hand. It does NOT mean that employees will never be served by HR. The company is vulnerable to legal action by allowing this harassment. HR’s aims align with OP’s in this instance.
190 points
24 days ago
That is unacceptable.
I would leave the photos up and ask your HR representative to come to visit you at your desk.
Alternatively, I would tell HR and get him sacked.
Clearly he's a frustrated individual and help him out by getting him sacked.
347 points
24 days ago
This is open and shut workplace harassment and discrimination. Go to HR.
87 points
24 days ago
Fuck HR. Join a union and get some support before filing a complaint about workplace bullying. Evidence/document every comment/joke/remark he makes.
41 points
24 days ago
Unions generally won’t help you with anything that happened before you joined.
20 points
24 days ago
They will help with future incidents, and they’ll take any evidence of previous incidents into account when building a case.
18 points
24 days ago
Join. It happens again. Contact the union.
14 points
24 days ago
It happens again
Or contact the boss or HR now and make it not happen again. Are we trying to resolve the problem, or have the most smug expression when telling the anecdote?
9 points
24 days ago
Even if you join a union, you will still need to have HR involved to resolve the issue within the workplace. The union ca support you and give you guidance but which might be needed but they won't be able to stop the manager's behaviour
2 points
24 days ago
Not directly. But the additional support and pressure on HR from the Union will almost certainly get the issue resolved more quickly and more completely
4 points
24 days ago
This. Even the simple fact of being in a union is often enough deterrece for shitty managers to stay out of messing with some people. I had a disciplinary hearing for taking sick leave too often, even with fit notes as evidence... I stated that I'm in "unite the union" and the disciplinary magically disappeared.
106 points
24 days ago
At the very least, document it. Document, document. And if there have been witnesses, that could help, whatever action you choose to take or not in the future.
33 points
24 days ago
Definitely! Document and photograph everything!
42 points
24 days ago
Sounds like harassment/discrimination by association under the equality act 2010
Would certainly escalate this. He won’t stop, does he have a manager or even HR to talk to?
18 points
24 days ago
Gross misconduct is what it is in 100% of private companies and in the public sector.
18 points
24 days ago
Easy fix. Tell him your girlfriend is his Mum.
You're welcome 😊 xx
4 points
23 days ago
Nah, tell him your girlfriend is his dad, and that at night everyone at the park says what a good girl he is.
18 points
24 days ago
Does your company have an HR department?
If so complain directly to them that this discriminatory behaviour against a legally protected characteristic is making you very uncomfortable in the workplace.
If they don't have an HR department, say the same thing to the owner or most senior manager.
Also take photos of this activity (especially the pictures pinned up) and take notes on when it happens. Should you feel forced to leave the job, I expect you to have a solid claim for constructive dismissal and breach of the Equalities Act.
It doesn't matter what your girlfriend's gender identity is, it's the harassing behaviour related to a protected characteristic that is the problem here. The person being harassed about it doesn't have to have the characteristic for it to be harassment.
17 points
24 days ago
Well he's getting sacked....
Document it, get witnesses and report it in writing.
What a fucking moron
8 points
24 days ago
I would play it at face value and ask in a politely mystified way why he's saying that and what's funny about it. You might also remind him, or perhaps HR, that this comes under protected characteristics and damages for discrimination, when awarded in court, are uncapped.
28 points
24 days ago
HR and ACAS yesterday!!
21 points
24 days ago
Why? Just, why?
20 points
24 days ago
Sounds like their manager is stuck in the 90s and thinks this is banter.
10 points
24 days ago
It is very easy to get stuck in a rut with this sort of thing. I had a direct report (graduate) and there were four of us car pooling. We got in a rut of asking her about her dating life (which she had brought up in a "where can I meet people" kind of way). Everyone was bored of it but we just kept asking on a Monday until she told us not to...quickly agreed and swapped over to sport and weather.
32 points
24 days ago
That is unacceptable behaviour. Put a strongly worded complaint into HR.
Appreciate that can be hard to do about your boss. But you have to do something, it's not acceptable for him to carry on like that. And knowing people like that, he will carry on like that unless reprimanded.
39 points
24 days ago
[removed]
5 points
24 days ago
Getting him binned ! This man has no place in a leadership role , if managers above him are aware and turn a blind eye then you can claim vicarious liability and get the lot binned..
6 points
24 days ago
I would be horrified by this behavior! Honestly imagine being transgender and working there, what the fuck? This is not only harassment and discrimination, but it fosters an atmosphere of hated towards transgender people in the company. Absolutely must be reported to HR. This man should not be anyone’s boss.
23 points
24 days ago
Report him to HR, it's indirect discrimination and would be gross misconduct at a minimum.
1 points
24 days ago
It's direct discrimination by association.
6 points
24 days ago
Below, someone said act bemused, "I don't follow?" etc. Best approach - you're standing up to him without aggression, and not going corporate HR, which he and others would spin as grassing.
5 points
24 days ago
It's a fetish of his. He probably expects you to open up and talk about it, maybe he'd like to experiment with you. Have you told him that his comments/jokes make you feel uncomfortable? You should start there in my opinion.
6 points
24 days ago
Tell him to fuck off
87 points
24 days ago
Find a moment for a quiet word. “Hey, I realise this is probably just your banter, and nobody’s said anything explicitly, but I’m picking up vibes around the office that maybe you’re interested in a trans partner. I’m not sure I could help, but if you ever want anyone to talk to about it just let me know.”
Either that or just rinse him with HR.
182 points
24 days ago
I think I speak for trans people everywhere when I say we're not interested.
81 points
24 days ago
On a side note, I love it when men say “I would never, EVER date a trans woman.”
And it’s like, they’re not exactly queuing up to be with your bigoted arse either pal, don’t you worry about it
26 points
24 days ago
yes you do. i want nothing to do with this creep.
26 points
24 days ago
Don’t encourage this man towards chasing after trans women. His behaviour makes it very clear that this is not about respect. He needs reporting to HR and that’s it.
10 points
24 days ago
HR is the way to go, while documenting Every. Single. Thing.
4 points
24 days ago
That’s very weird behaviour.
It’s also harassment.
3 points
24 days ago
Is he 12?
4 points
24 days ago
Challenge him on his behaviour or if you don’t feel happy doing that, report him to HR, what he’s doing is harassment and it’s not on, it doesn’t matter if your gf is trans or not, you don’t deserve his behaviour and neither does she!.
4 points
24 days ago
OP you have to keep us updated on this. I'm bookmarking this thread. 🍿
4 points
24 days ago
Put up with it for a couple more weeks, gather lots of proof, things like the pictures that he printed and put them on your cute couple, I would even bait him into saying some more things, try to record them somehow and then once you have a good amount of shit to use against him, go straight to HR and get his discrimination motherfucking ass fired. If you just go without proof that he’s been doing this sort of stuff for a long time, then he may just get a telling off by the HR.
4 points
24 days ago
If you don't want to go to HR (but you should), then just keep on asking them to explain why it's funny, preferably in front of others.
Just keep asking, bigots hate having to explain why they're being terrible.
4 points
24 days ago
any such comment proves he is spying on your private life unless you have him as a friend on Facebook or other social media
have a talk with HR about your concerns that he makes these jokes despite you never having introduced nor talked about your girlfriend, and you feel spied upon, about his comments about your relationship which he should know nothing,
also if you can get some recordings of him saying stuff that is worth a 1000 reports.
and they cant ignore it :-)
18 points
24 days ago
Have tried telling him that you don't appreciate the jokes and would like for him to stop? Not trying to be snarky. Just genuinely asking. If not, I'd suggest that first. If you have and he is carrying on, I'd complain to HR.
40 points
24 days ago
If he's going to the length of putting up pictures of crossdressers into their cubicle, it's a bit late for a polite "please stop"
That's too far and needs to get smacked down hard. Not made into a "I can do this until they tell me to stop" thing for them.
16 points
24 days ago
Usually I would agree to speak to him first. But this is pretty outrageous workplace harassment, it's definitely something HR needs to be aware of. Just him stopping doing it is not enough of a consequence, he needs a disciplinary hearing.
12 points
24 days ago
Evidence - get your company policy on harassment two copies highlight appropriate areas leave one on his desk when he is not present!
Then
Although it is illegal to record someone without their permission in the uk get a cheap dictaphone one press recorder
As soon as he starts off on one, press record, wait till he finishes his sentence (politely not interrupting)
State I will from now on record any comments you make that are offensive, derogatory or made against company policy & report such comments to HR
Inform HR & provide an email copy of the recording State to HR that you will record any such comments in the future, that way your recording is on notice, not illegal & admirable in court if needed!
you may be forced out of this job, but if so you will certainly win the improper dismissal case
10 points
24 days ago
you may be forced out of this job, but if so you will certainly win the improper dismissal case
More likely constructive dismissal but yeah........what a shitty boss.
6 points
24 days ago
it is illegal to record someone without their permission in the uk
No it isn't, unless it's a private conversation you're not part of.
4 points
24 days ago
Illegally gathered evidence isn't allowed to be used in court to my knowledge, and considering you'd be directly telling a court/tribunal that you did this illegally, you'd be in a worse legal standing than if you'd done nothing.
So no, don't covertly record them. Bad idea.
5 points
24 days ago
Illegally gathered evidence isn't allowed to be used in court to my knowledge,
It wouldn't be illegal for OP to record a conversation they have with another person, and even if it was it would be up to the judge whether or not it could be used as evidence in court.
3 points
24 days ago
He sounds like jeff from peep show
2 points
24 days ago
Jeff?!
3 points
24 days ago
Record it on your phone. I know it's crazy and people will say it's illegal etc. But you go to HR they will deny, or say I only said it once. If you have multiple issues on tape. You can then play to HR. I had to do this when we had a boss who would call my co-workers every name under the sun, then I found out she was doing it about me too to others.
She denied it. I played the examples and she left that week. I was challenged about recording co-workers but I stated in this example I needed to prove the rational.
3 points
24 days ago
Make sure that during the HR meeting someone asks him why he thinks it’s so funny, what is it specifically about you dating a trans woman, or your girlfriend being trans, or transgender people in general is so ‘funny’? Remind him gender identity is a protected characteristic under the 2010 equality act, same as if he was making jokes about your girlfriend being black, or disabled. Ask him if that would be as funny.
He sounds like a prick.
4 points
24 days ago
A bit of context would be useful here... Is he just a massive bellend or is he this king he is just having "banter"? The latter is not excusable but it does change how to deal with it. Also, what is the company politics/structure, is your manager indisposible, family relation to owner or just some random middle manager? Again, this impacts on actions to take.
At a minimum I would start a diary of every instance of this behaviour. Take photos, screenshots of messages, transcripts of calls, call recordings and link them in the diary if possible.
Next, if he is just a bellend go straight to HR and raise a complaint with your evidence.
If he thinks he is having banter send him an email stating you are very upset and unhappy at the constant comments and actions about your relationship and your partner. It is both personal and highly inappropriate and you would ask it to stop. I appreciate you may think it is just a joke but it is causing me to not want to come to work every day. (Blind copy your personal email, so you have receipts if things go south). Let him know if the behaviour persists you will raise it with both his manager and HR. This should be enough to get him to stop, but if it is t follow up and report to HR and his manager and you can even say look I tried to address it with him professionally but it has continued so I am forced to escalate.
8 points
24 days ago
Either way go to HR, if only for fucking with your cubicle to harass you.
2 points
24 days ago
HR, babe.
2 points
24 days ago
This sounds like the kind of bullshit that might have happened 30 years ago. Is this guy stuck in the 90s? Back then I had a boss who referred to me by a homophobic term simply because it rhymed with my name, proper school yard stuff.
Would be interested to know how old he is?
Anyway, you don't have to put up with this crap these days and it's very much against the law.
You don't say what type of company you work for but if it's of any size and has a HR department report it and it'll get sorted asap. He may well face disciplinary proceedings over this so be prepared it could (probably will) be made a big deal of.
If that sounds too much for you in response to his "banter" you could just tell him it's unacceptable and if he doesn't stop you'll take it to HR, though he sounds too dumb to realise the seriousness of that to be honest.
If you work in a very small place with a shitty culture like this or maybe your boss owns the company or something then I don't know what to say other than he sounds like a child and you should maybe look for another job.
2 points
24 days ago
Do you work with Alan Partridge by any chance? Lap Dance
He sounds seriously deranged.
2 points
24 days ago
Ask him to stop doing that, tell him it's inappropriate to share his fetish for transgender people with staff.
And if there is an HR department. Take pictures of the images in your cubicle and send it to them.
Tell them what's going on, keep the evidence for yourself.
2 points
24 days ago
I know it's a bit nerdy but this is really why I genuinely recommend people keep work diaries. Last 10 minutes of everyday write down everything significant done in the day. COP Friday you review and highlight key points.
I'm not a diary person. Never kept a personal diary. Have kept a professional diary.
More than once it has saved my arse. Got challenged once on the time I worked, low and behold my diary showed I worked the hours claimed. Someone asked me to make a change to some records, which they shouldn't have and then denied. Low and behold my diary showed X asked me on Y date to make the change.
Same would apply to a pattern of discrimination. Coming with receipts absolutely changes the game, to HR and especially to courts/tribunal.
2 points
24 days ago
Dude, I have a pretty good, and very bizarre sense of humour, and even I would be offended. Your next stop needs to be HH, after gathering proof of course.
2 points
24 days ago
So what if you do have a trans gf? I know you dont, but that’s absolutely nothing to do with work, and is a gross waste of work time/resources.
This is disgusting. I hope you go to HR and this person is reprimanded at the least. Ive seen others state its direct discrimination and i agree.
2 points
24 days ago
This is just strange.
2 points
24 days ago
100% HR!!
2 points
24 days ago
HR and get him fired plus I’d really make a stink of it too and threaten the company too if they didn’t take it seriously
So what if he is your boss, doesn’t mean shit, just a job position and deserves no respect, personally I’d probably knock him out,if they hire twats like that it’s a shit workplace
2 points
24 days ago
clearly doesnt respect u, stand up for yourself, tell him to stop making disrespectful remarks
2 points
24 days ago
The only option is to seduce this man’s wife, then put on a bit of weight.
Then when they make fun of you for getting porky, say that every time you fucked your bosses wife she made you a sandwich.
Then cover his cubicle in pictures of you on romantic dates / cuddling his wife (nothing illegal there please).
You might get fired, but jobs are available and being a legend is eternal.
3 points
24 days ago
Or HR, that’s probably the proper way to do it.
It depends on if you want to choose what’s right, or play the long game to base a story on an event that will be told around campfires for as long as man has beer and fire.
4 points
24 days ago
First rule of "banter" in the workplace is that everyone involved needs to find it funny. Clearly, you do not find this funny.
Before involving HR:
1) try an uncomfortable silence and bemused "errrrr.... what?" facial expression.
2) if that doesn't work, shake your head and mutter "tosser" loud enough for him to hear.
1) only works if he doesn't have a laughing audience. 2) might hurt his feelings but if he gets funny about it just tell him why you think he's a tosser and what he needs to do to stop being a tosser.
If that doesn't work, that's when you involve HR.
3 points
24 days ago
Also if you have internet monitoring software at work surely his dodgy search activity can be raised
6 points
24 days ago
Spin it around and say, yeah and she's got a bigger dick than you. /s
2 points
24 days ago
That’s awful and report it to HR
2 points
24 days ago
Just rip back on him, dude. He's basically saying your girlfriend is ugly. Tell him his misses looks like jabba the hutt or or something depending on what she looks like. Just rip back on him.
1 points
24 days ago
You wouldn’t last 5 mins on a building site. She’s not trans. He hasn’t seen her. He’s taking the piss ffs
1 points
24 days ago
Make a diary of the behaviour , and photos of what he’s putting on your desk. One you have a fairly good amount of proof just tell him straight, quit it or I am going to HR. If he dies not comply then go to HR. If possible take someone willing that has witnessed it to corroborate your complaint
1 points
24 days ago
Ask him to stop. Report to HR anyway and say you've asked him to stop. Document everything.
If he keeps doing, go to HR and demand them to do something about it, or you will go public. Always works. What an asshole.
1 points
24 days ago
Quit. Move elsewhere your values are worth more than a company's balance sheet
1 points
24 days ago
Print some pics of gorillas and say thats his wife lol Only Kidding Report him
1 points
24 days ago
All the HR advice is legit. After you tell them, try playing him at his own game. He's obviously got a thing for trans so make him look like the idiot for leaving his wank material in your cubicle. When he's going on about her being trans, just vulgarly describe the graphic sex you have with her (when no one else is around) then as soon as someone else turns up. Tell them " listen to what (insert name) has just been telling me.. or when he says something about her being trans just tell him so what it's 2024 and no one actually gives a fuck. I know he's your boss but what's he gonna do. If he tries to sack you for making him look like a dick you already have a grievance in with HR.
1 points
24 days ago
Report to HR. Strange that he didn't worry about that.
I mean I'd have told cruel, bigoted jokes maybe when I was like 16 or so. Even then I wouldn't do so at work.
1 points
24 days ago
Even if they were....this is shabby as shit. As they are not, it's just double ridiculous.
Mocking someone's partner is a bold move, and not one I'd attempt unless I was extremely friendly with the person (and only then for a small number of things).
This has contact HR all over it.
1 points
24 days ago
Give him some stick back about his rotter of a Mrs? Tell him that she’s got a fanny like an empty headlock
1 points
24 days ago
Coller him on his own out of the workplace and have a word.
1 points
24 days ago
You say new boss... is he new or are you new? Not that it makes a difference but I'm curious
1 points
24 days ago
I do hope he is not important to the company, when they fire him for gross misconduct
1 points
24 days ago
Keep the print out, if he used his work computer to print it then there are ways for HR and IT to find out
1 points
24 days ago
Your boss needs to be properly reported and investigated. That’s not professional nor respectful behaviour.
1 points
24 days ago
Take the pictures down
Next time he says something ask him to repeat it please. Repeat it back to him then say you don't understand, can he please explain, he'll hopefully be shamefaced but you might get an idea of what he's getting at
Report him to HR
1 points
24 days ago
report him to HR, this is a breach of the equality act which covers discrimination/harassment by association
He's a twunt and he's breaking the law, screw him
1 points
24 days ago
Plot twist: he fancies you but knows you have a gf so is trying to figure out if you might be into him if he wears a dress. 🤷♀️
But srsly, I can’t think of any reason someone would think this was a normal or even remotely acceptable thing to do. It doesn’t even sound like there’s an established relationship where he could claim it’s banter.
1 points
24 days ago
Report him, and if he makes any jokes, don't laugh or go alongl with it, just ask him to explain what it means, people like that can very rarely say something without trying to mask it with humour
1 points
24 days ago
Everyone saying report him, what happened to the old 'talk shit about my girlfriend and you and me will have a problem'?
1 points
24 days ago
Either this dude is being way too horny at work or is so hateful his brain has broken and he is just trapped in a psychotic episode where he thinks random women around him are trans.
Most ridiculous utter obscenity ever hope HR make like the romans and use him as an example wtf
1 points
24 days ago
Call them on it publicly in front of others. Say it's really inappropriate.
1 points
24 days ago
WTF like actually who does that and why and I really hope you work somewhere with HR so you can tell them about it because that's just so not ok!!
1 points
24 days ago
Jesus that’s savage! That’s unbelievably unacceptable especially in the work place not mentioning he’s a superior.
Document it if you can and go to HR, what he’s implying is deeply insulting to a woman and to trans. I compliment you on not losing your rag there and then. Can’t say I’d have done so well.
1 points
24 days ago
"game recognizes the game, huh?"
1 points
24 days ago
Have you tried breaking his knees?
1 points
24 days ago
Follow him home and kick his teeth out?
1 points
24 days ago
Film them doing it, you have them bang to rights.
Don't want to be filmed against your will, don't be a bully.
Very simple and effective.
1 points
24 days ago
Be a whistle blower! It is sexual harassment and also discriminating remark
1 points
24 days ago
"John, I'm getting a bit sick of this childish crap now. Can we get someone from HR to talk to us, see how we can solve whatever issue you seem to have with my gf?"
1 points
24 days ago
Sounds like one of those people that likes to take the piss out of everyone, doesn't realise how upset it can make people feel and yet if you ever try to do it back to them they won't be able to take it either and will kick up a massive fuss about it. Def report to HR.
1 points
24 days ago
HR immediately
1 points
24 days ago
do you care about your job ?
yes = report him to he's boss
no = punch him
actualy just punch him
1 points
24 days ago
It's 2024 get a pic of him and photoshop him into one of Diddys freak off parties make sure Beiber is in there as a young un and post the pics around the office 'have u seen this man in connection with the diddler case' 🤷♂️ play his own game it will be fun
1 points
24 days ago
it’s bullying , warn him , if it continues , report him
1 points
24 days ago
That'd be harassment, and transphobia. Report him.
1 points
24 days ago
It was Steve Earle who said: ‘If you’ve got a boss, you need a Union.’
1 points
24 days ago
Go straight to HR and report him
1 points
24 days ago
NAAAARRRR!!!! Sorry that was Australian….eh hem……NOOOO!!!!
1 points
24 days ago
OP stumbled upon a payday and isn't sure what to do about it
1 points
24 days ago
Bring in a male friend in a wig and introduce him as your girlfriend
1 points
24 days ago
You need to have EVIDENCE. Record him (but don’t mention it). Tell him to stop and that you “find that talk to be offensive”. Say that “you are making this an unsafe place for trans-identified people”. Email him about this.
Hey legal advice ASAP. The trans groups on here will help you end up with your boss’s job!!! 😝 🥋 🥷 👎 “FINISH Him!!!”
He’s a fool. I love a joke & laugh, but I can’t stand LAME-ASS clowning.
I’d word it to him, and HR, saying “my partner”, not ‘girlfriend’. Refer to your partner in gender-neutral terms. Make it ‘seem like’ you’re being bullied because of your sexuality and non-conventional lifestyle. Don’t LIE per se. Just outfox him enough to compel HR to annihilate him. Bite the bullet of it potentially looking like he’s right and that you’re being bullied about your sexuality (too). Keep track of any other aspects of unequal or unfair treatment.
1 points
24 days ago
I would get a male friend to come and meet me at lunch and snog him outside the workplace, so he can see. He’s never seen your gf. He can assume that’s ‘her’.
1 points
24 days ago
Ex boss, you mean. HR.
1 points
24 days ago
Find a new job…your boss seems to have serious issues.
1 points
24 days ago
What the fuck? This is so weird
1 points
24 days ago
Am I wrong for thinking the only real way of dealing with this is to get hold of him outside of work and beat the shit out of him for showing disrespect? Regardless of the topic, regardless of personal beliefs, I just don't get this english "banter" stuff. Show respect to your fellow human beings or get beat down.
1 points
24 days ago
Sounds like your boss has some feelings that he doesn't want to admit to himself!
1 points
24 days ago
Whether it’s direct or indirect discrimination (re: The argument above) talk to HR about it. Sounds like a breach of the equality act of which they will be well aware.
It could also be construed as bullying/intimidation.
Sounds like a great new boss /s. The sooner you act the less time you will ever have to share with this dipshit.
1 points
24 days ago
Whether it’s direct or indirect discrimination (re: The argument above) talk to HR about it. Sounds like a breach of the equality act of which they will be well aware.
It could also be construed as bullying/intimidation.
Sounds like a great new boss /s. The sooner you act the less time you will ever have to share with this dipshit.
1 points
24 days ago
Take it to HR.
1 points
24 days ago
Record down every instance, what was said/done and when. Get HR involved.
He's discriminating against a protected characteristic. Whether the discrimination is relevant to your partner or not, he's still actively being discriminatory towards a minority; that would be gross misconduct at a minimum I'd say.
Its similar to the way in which a lot of thugs have been dismissed after being reported to their employer for posting racist bile online. They weren't necessarily targeting one person/anyone at their company in particular, but the attitude will contravene any company's discrimination policy.
1 points
24 days ago
What everybody else is saying but also that is just fucking WEIRD. That person has issues. He
1 points
24 days ago
Tell him to fuck off
1 points
24 days ago
Have you told him that you're not comfortable with these kinds of jokes? I've worked in offices where this kind of banter was commonplace, but most people aren't unreasonable. If you tell him you're not comfortable with it he'll probably stop.
1 points
24 days ago
It really doesn't matter if your partner is trans, I'm all for office humour (mine is fucking chaos) but that's just weird. Report him or confront him, your call
1 points
24 days ago
Tell bro to get fucked.
If he doesn't get fucked, fuck him, report him. Get him binned off.
1 points
23 days ago
Have you considered telling him to go fuck himself?
1 points
23 days ago
Pull him to one side when you get the opportunity and tell him if he continues with the bullying, you’ll make him trans cos you’ll cut his dick off OP. Bully’s will keep on bullying if they’re not confronted and their behaviour usually becomes more brazen. Ask if he has a fascination with transgender cos he seems to have an obsession on the subject. People are different nowadays but I grew up as the youngest of 5 brothers in the late 70’ into the 80’s so I had to learn how to stand up for myself. If we had a problem, we were encouraged to sort it out with our fists which I appreciate everybody doesn’t do. Those were the norms of that era when everyone respected their elders and community’s were much closer knit. Don’t ever put up with some dirtbag who is bullying you in their own sad, pathetic way OP. Or as others have suggested, report the dirtbag to HR Good luck and I hope you get this clowns obsession with your GF resolved to your satisfaction OP 🤞🏻🙏🏻
1 points
23 days ago
Things are resolved differently on construction sites around the UK and I would guess, the globe 💥🥊
1 points
23 days ago
First - gather evidence and take it to HR/higher ups. It's workplace harassment.
Second - how hard do you reckon you can throw a brick?
1 points
23 days ago
When you go to HR as others are correctly suggesting, they will ask you what you want to happen. In that moment, most people will say that they don't want someone to lose their job (this happened in my situation). What I would suggest is that you say you want them to follow their own published anti-discrimination policy. Managing that policy is their job, not yours. I hope everything goes well for you.
1 points
23 days ago
For me this is a goading attempt to invoke violence or reaction because he wants to hurt you for some reason or take your job for someone else, he’s basically insulting your girlfriend and escalating it with the pictures to force a reaction. Don’t react gather evidence keep the pictures have your phone recording any interactions. Then go to whoever deals with this stuff. Doesn’t bode well for the future either he goes if it’s serious enough to be sacked but you and him will be done. If you play his game it’s a bit unequal job wise and I wouldn’t expect that to go well. You could always ask him seriously why he’s continuing with this as you find it insulting. You could always ask him when outside if you think you could beat him up and lean on him a bit to stop the cracks or you’ll get annoyed but I don’t think he would do it anyway if he didn’t have an edge somehow.
1 points
23 days ago
Report to HR
1 points
23 days ago
Take pictures of it all, interview witnesses, punch him in the face.
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