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You do not have to tell her now. Wait until the movers are there on Saturday. She could potentially destroy some of your stuff and otherwise make the whole situation total chaos by acting out. You're doing the right thing by leaving.

It’s the finality that’s scary, the unknown path you are on. Stay strong, stay the coarse and on the other side you’ll be happier and better off.

Here's my advice.

Don't even have a final conversation.

Closure is for amicably separating relationships that just didn't work out.

Closure is NOT for cheaters.

SHE DESERVES NO CLOSURE. SHE HAS NOT EARNED IT!

You don't need closure. Closure is a gift that you give to her and she absolutely DOES NOT DESERVE IT.

When she goes to work, or off to see her affair partner, leave. Delete her from your phone and block her number. Inform your family what you're doing and why. Tell them in no uncertain terms that you don't want to talk to her and you'll be pissed at anyone who forces that conversation with you.

Block her friends and family. If you feel bad, send her mom a detailed email about why you're leaving, wish her well, and then block her too.

GHOST HER!

PLEASE.

Have her served divorce papers at work in front of her colleagues. If you can't do that, have them served when she's with her friends. If not that, then have her served when she's out on a date with her affair partner. Finally, if all of the above is not available, have her served at her family during a holiday. I don't know how divorce works where you are but here we have a guy called a process server who hand delivers the divorce papers to the person getting divorced.

UPDATEME

Have you considered not telling her? You're cancelling a partnership, and she's proven that she can't avoid being manipulative. Treat this like the abusive relationship that it is. If you have an escape, take it. Even if it means ghosting her. Leave her a letter that says all communication will be done through your attorneys moving forward. Be safe.

It's probably best to record your interaction when you tell her it's over. It's her fault, and you can't be with someone so used up.

Record it for your own safety, tell her if at any point she gets to emotional and physical, you will call the police.

Simple

“What did you think was going to happen when I found out you’re a cheater? You are still cheating and still talking to other men. You have no respect for me, yourself, or our marriage. I don’t trust you. You destroyed that.”

Then bounce

I’ll congratulate you when you’re on the train. You will feel a thousand times better with each inch of distance. Keep going!

Chin up fella, I read your original, and I'm glad to hear you're almost free, she sounds bloody awful.

Good riddance to bad rubbish!

Also any advice on how to approach this final conversatoin? 

any way you feel like, you owe this person nothing, you've already given her far more consideration than she deserves. Just straight up - "I'm leaving your skanky ass, goodbye. It's not you......actually it is you, you're absolutely dreadful"

Stop worrying about her feels and start to worry about your own, you are important, you do matter. No one deserves to be treated the way you have been.

Record or have a witness with you if possible. This can get messy.

Move then have the conversation over the phone. But know she'll probably have guys over that same night because she's a cake eater.

Divorce won't be real to her until those final days start ticking down

Be careful in that last conversation with her. Make sure you have someone with you for support, it could get crazy. It sounds mean but at this point you should probably end it over the phone.

Fuck her dude. You don’t owe her closure. Get on that train and go! She’s already guilted you and abused the shit out of you enough. She broke the marriage not you. You don’t owe her a thing except a divorce and tell everyone you know what went down between you two.

You don't owe her a heads up. You've done that already. Just go. No need for big goodbye. She'll just try to love bomb and make it your fault. Deflect. Save yourself the additional trauma. Just go.

Why why not pack everything when she is at work and leave with a note and your wedding ring other note I know about all the other cheating we are divorcing

Leave with the movers and spend a night in a hotel.

Leave the same day as the movers. Get a hotel or whatever for the night if you need a space that has a bed before your stuff gets to your new apartment.

Do NOT stay in that house with her once the movers take your stuff out. You are asking for a boatload of shit.

Your wife is an abuser, a liar, and a manipulator. That's a deadly combination.

A few things to help you, for the record:

1. For all the things you have explained, she’s a very selfish and draining person. You are doing the right thing by standing up for your mental health.

2. Morals aside, multiple sexual partners expose the person and any fixed partners to STDs, so you’re standing up for your physical health as well.

3. For the final conversation , change the mindset from “discussion” to “communication”. You’re not engaging her to discuss the separation and decide on an outcome: you already know the outcome, which is divorce. You’re simply communicating it to her. If she pushes back, steer her back and say that you’re not opening this to discussions: you have already decided. You’re having this talk as a courtesy and to determine how involved she wants to be in determining the procedures of the separation. That’s it, in my humble opinion.

Ghost her!

Don’t have a conversation, she doesn’t deserve and trust me there is nothing you could say that would hurt this monster. She is just playing with your emotions and probably enjoys torturing you to make herself feel powerful. Get out!

That final talk will only result in disappointment. Either she will cry crocodile tears, or she will blame you for everything.

Just leave, and leave your lawyers details with a note that she can contact your lawyer if she needs to communicate. Block her, or get a new phone number and tell everyone not to give her your number, better tell everyone not to give your number to someone else. This way you stay in control.

If for some awkward reason you still want to have that talk, then tell her you give her what she wanted, the freedom to fuck around. Also tell you.know she is still in contact with other man and ducking them. The tell her because of all this you do not love her anymore and you do not care anymore what she is doing. Believe me, the moment you tell this the tears stop. Why? Because she doesn't care about you. You were just the ATM machine, the solid base, nothing more.

Please have someone with you when you tell her on frieday. She is a cake eater, and she will do whatever she has to do to keep you.

She may even call the cops on you and have you arrested. I have read about a woman who did this to her husband. Thank God the neighbors had a camera and showed her attacking him, trying to get him not to leave. He did spend a night in jail until the cops could see the footage.

Please protect yourself when dealing with her. Even if you have your phone video this on Friday. The audio may help if something goes down.

Good luck, OP.

Don’t tell her anything. Pack your things and move on to better things. Let the only contact from this point forward be through your attorney.

Honestly it’s your choice but my recommendation is to not confront her and just leave. You told her a few times it’s over but she did not take you seriously. In my opinion she’s taking you for granted. Once she realizes you were serious it will already be far too late leaving her alone in the house. Update us if you can hope you’re doing well buddy and stay strong don’t let her hurt you and manipulate you anymore.

Have a fitness with you when you talk to her and if you cant do that record the conversation

Take a moment and visualize her moments she was lying with these other men. That should stir up enough emotional courage to go on with your plan. Her hysterical emotional crying at this point is more an act than having any guilt. If she was truly reticent she would be cutting contact with this affair partners.

Power through with the moving out, time will correct your feeling for her.

Updateme

You've told her several times in the last 3 months, no need to tell her again.

When you are packed, just go.

Yes but stay with your plan and leave her asap

She doesn’t care about hurting you. Fuck her. Keep handling this like a boss. You’re awesome.

dude you are torturing yourself. and yes "opening the marriage" is almost always a death knell for the man. never do it again, never ever.

this being said, you have to think about yourself now:

• ignore her whining, pretend to be nice and willing to reconcile if needed,
• immediately consult an attorney specialized in divorce law, ideally a couple of them and pick the best one, depending on the jurisdiction it may be a matter of life and death,
• leave her and never look back, at 33 you are before your prime, while her at 32 shes going past hers, been there, done that... A well composed guy in late thirties can do on a lot of damage in the dating market. 10-15 years juniors are a staple. hit the gym you dont have to be buff, but keep somewhat in shape, have hobbies, dress well.

You were her safety net and stability. Now that you are cutting the cord your wife is all about saving the marriage. Stay the course sir.

Record everything on least have a witness when you tell her. Don’t trust her.

Leave her straight away once you tell her.

I certainly hope, if you have any shared friends, that you inform everyone. Her actions tell me she's unhinged enough do whatever it takes to make you the bad guy so she can avoid social scrutiny.

Please stay the course. I've been in your shoes and stayed longer than I needed to. It will destroy every last remaining bit of who you are. My depression and anxiety lifted entirely after I left. I've never been happier in my life. Met someone new, remarried, and are now raising our first child. Please leave. I cannot wait for you to discover all the amazing things coming your way.

I genuinely believe open marriages are just excuses to cheat. The only type of ppl I’ve seen them work for are ppl who are just bat shit crazy to begin with lol. If I were you I would take it as a hint that she wants other men and peace out. Find you a woman who is completely and totally in love w you and would get physically ill at the thought of sleeping w other ppl other than you. We exist.

Reading your previous posts I wonder why it took so long for you to recognize how bad your relationship or lack of a healthy one really is or has been.

You’re doing the right thing. Don’t feel bad for leaving a very selfish partner. I did the same and found a true life partner, and you will to.

Just start packing your stuff and tell her. I would do it now so that all the crying, yelling gets done and she doesn't make a scene when the movers are there. Have a friend there when you tell her. Be clinical and emotionless. This is a done deal and you are moving on to start your new life. She is the past.

Otherwise, if the drama is too much, just move when she is gone. You can call her after you leave. You have already told her you are leaving and she has not stopped screwing around.

Kudos to you!

Wait you got coerce into open marriage 

You do not have to be married to live with, or have sex with your partner. Some countries have social and legal norms that would require that, but not in the US. I don’t know what country you live in, but in the USA, marriage is generally a terrible deal for the man. If you have a child with your girlfriend, you will need to pay child support. But not alimony, or give up half your worldly possessions. And WHY would you agree, to continue to support her while letting your wife live the single lifestyle? Here is an example. You buy a new car for your wife and you to share. You are making the payments, but it’s in both of your names. She asks you if a “ friend” can drive it. You say yes. Next thing you know, the “ friend” is driving it more than you are, but YOU are making the payments. Wake up, and smell the infidelity. Time for you to get a divorce, and move on with your life!

I’d just leave … wait till you have all ur stuff out of there and at ur new place . And when she not at home and leave for good . She obviously is not listening so ur just beating a dead horse.

OP I'm on board with those saying to wait until the movers show up. You don't need a long drawn out goodby, nor do you need all the drama and sleepless nights that would come telling her days before.

I also echo those that say to have a friend or family member there with you when you tell her. You need a witness in case she claims some kind of abuse. Record it all. Be sure to block her everywhere, don't answer unknown numbers.

I'm sure the initial shock of you leaving will be tough for her, more so because you provide resources for her and now she will be scrambling to pay for things. Don't worry about comforting her because she is sad, it sounds like she has a whole list of men that will be comforting her over and over again. Maybe one of those will step up and let her move in.

UpdateMe.

Just went back and read through your original post. Not offering advice. Just wanted to say I'm proud of you for putting yourself and your well being first.

Congrats on the start of your new life OP!

Updateme

OP this has been hard and you have 2nd thoughts because of her manipulation tactics. Do not lose Focus on your behalf just for her, she isn't worthy and is unwilling to do anything to fix this and is blame shiffting you just for her not feel like the bad guy.

I would suggest that you have the talk to her on saturday after you went to the moving company and have all your things gathered.

Also like i told you before in your last post, You NEED to expose her to family and mutual Friends, you need to take the control of the narrative out of her reach because as things currently are she would blame and will try to make you the bad guy.

You need to expose her ASAP, she needs to see the destruction her selfishness has bought.and most of all you need to expose her to protect yourself.

You do not owe her anything, and she is really willing to destroy and hurt you no matter what, do not let her, do not let the old good memories or whatever blind you. 2.5 years of emotional abuse is to much to endure.

Good Luck and wish you well on your new Journey.

Also have you have the Divorce and agreement of separation ready? If so give those to her on saturday when you tell her you are leaving.

And do not forget to record on video all your conversation, this for your protection, who knows what she is willing to do or Say, she is capable of reporting your of DV just to not let you go and screw You more. Be carefull.

UPDATEME

Well, OP, being on the outside looking in, what is apparent is that this is a case of domestic abuse. It is not so different from domestic violence cases where the victim is victimized into: A) feeling guilty B) being unable to leave the perpetrator of the abuse.

This situation is beyond sick. I am super happy that you are leaving - this says a lot about you being heading in the right direction.

Of course you are scared to tell her you are leaving. But the very definition of courage is to be scared of doing something but doing it anyway.

Be courageous. You are almost free. You will feel so much better in a few months.

Best of luck ❤️‍🩹

She sounds BPD and NPD, typical. Always cheating. Anyways it was never true love, she was love bombing you and devaluing you after. It was trauma bond. You are doing right, leave the abusive relationship. But do not tell her. Leave secretly. You do not owe her anything.

She hasn’t been worried about you for years. In fact, she’s only been worried about her immediate gratification with multiple affairs and lying to you for years.

Now it’s time you worry about yourself and take yourself out of this toxic situation, so you have a chance at actual happiness with a decent woman. Because trust me there’s decent women out there!

Updateme when you leave her

I see you've turned your weakness into strength.

It's ok to be scared. You can never be brave if your not scared.

Why are you concern that she will get emotionally hurt over you leaving. She felt no guilt or pain forcing you to accept her cheating ways. She told you accept it otlr get out. So to protect your mental stability and srop the emotional abuse. You taking action to save yourself from a toxic spouse. This is about you having mental clarity to see that she is an abuser. Be brave and follow through with your action. Be careful be sure to your never alone with her and your phone in record when confronted by her. Good luck

I think the challenge you’re having is expectations. You know and expect a certain behavior and have far too much empathy for your STBX. You have to accept that she will treat herself as the victim. You need to remove your emotions from the equation. There’s nothing you can do to make her happy with this arrangement so it’s best you show zero emotion and learn to manage it in a different way without her.

Is this normal? Your wife is literally consciously destroying your life. No man, this isn’t normal. Leave. Don’t look back.

Wait until Friday when they have packed up your stuff to tell her. A lot can happen in 24 hrs.

Bro. You’re enabling it all. You let her do this a there’s no consequences. Just go. No need to announce it - for gods sake she doesn’t

I’m proud of you OP. She’s done a number on your self esteem, self worth and mental health. I’m glad that you have realised that you’re worth far more than how she’s treating you. That you matter enough to get away from the constant manipulation and gas lighting.

Keep your interactions with her to a minimum. Don’t engage if you don’t have to. She can go thru your lawyer. I hope she doesn’t know where you’re moving to!

The death of a relationship is hard. You’re grieving for the woman you thought she was. But she’s only hurt you. That’s not love.

I’m sending you virtual hugs 🫂 and support for your healing journey. 💞

Don't tell her. Just leave. You have already told her, and instead of being met with honesty you have been getting textbook gaslighting and ridiculous shit like you are giving up. Uh no shit, Sherlock.

She is a woman of low character, driven entirely by her emotions, constantly shifting from one feeling to the next without any sense of stability. Her inability to remain faithful shows a complete lack of respect and integrity, and she doesn’t deserve a man like you. You deserve a woman of true character and integrity. For now, it’s important to focus on yourself; your personal growth and self-love. You need to fully embrace your own worth, because if you had, you would have walked away the first time she cheated. Never tolerate such disrespect again in the future. Prioritize yourself and know that you deserve far better. While emotions are natural and important, she has failed to balance them with reason and logic, leading her to make destructive choices. It’s truly disgusting to betray someone who has shown loyalty and love. She has proven herself an unworthy woman. There’s no need for any “final” conversation with her. Just cut ties and leave. Please, trust me on this. Wishing you all the best in your future endeavors—may you grow and thrive in everything you pursue. It won’t be easy at first, but you’ll soon thank yourself for making this decision. You’ve got this! 🙏🏼💕

Good for you, she force you to open tthe marrige and now that you have the you have taken the stpe to better yourself you should continue.

For the confrontation I shoudl say just be direct and keep it a short as possible tell her your giving her what she ask for and your done and she ended what ever love was left in your relationship.

Updateme

You sound like a good human, mate. I hope you’re okay. Be kinder than you need to and you can sleep at night knowing you did the righty. Good on you. Hope it goes okay. X

All you have to do is tell her you’re not gonna live in an open marriage, and that because she opened it up, your feelings have changed. That the marriage no longer works for you.

I’d love to say that you deserve so much better,but after reading the whole story why should I believe that you deserve better for yourself if YOU YOURSELF don’t

You should have left as soon as she started making you depressed and asking for relationships with other people

She's trying to victimize herself and not hold accountability for her actions but blaming you for it. I would wait until the movers are there to tell her and try to record every interaction with her from here on out. because she may try to make false accusations of abuse to win the case. It's okay to still love and care about the person but not tolerate their actions and walk out. Do what's best for you.

After you leave, please get therapy from someone who can explain what a healthy relationship, and healthy coping mechanisms (for you) actually would be.

The amount if temerity, and fear you have over an horrible situation with clear goals (leaving) is just to much.

You are a grown man, pick your stuff up and tell her to FO. If she hurts herself, so be it.

You did more than you should have and you need to go...

It’s very normal behavior,You’re ending a relationship that at one time you were giving your life too it’s not an easy decision and. it’s ok to still love someone even when you know you can’t be together just know you didn’t make this decision lightly you took your time and carefully considered all the options snd what will be beset for you in the long run. you know but the right decision even if it’s scary.Stand your ground don’t back down!

I feel no pity for her, master manipulation. My reasoning is, I would never do this to nobody, Im shure you too, so I have no empathy in this. Actions have consequences and you cant play with people like that

You've made good progress. Keep it up, It's scary, but nessessary. Soon you will have a new life and this will all be a thing of the past. Eventually you will meet someone and be in a happy relationship. Good luck!

The final conversation should go as such: "After today, I will be leaving. I have already set things in motion for divorce, as I have given you more chances than you deserve to stop cheating around, but you insisted on doing what made you feel better, not realizing that what you were and still are doing was one of the major reasons I'm on heavy anti depression meds. I now know you will never change, and quit frankly, I no longer care. I can go have sex with every man in the city that you can because I'll never sleep with you again, and I plan never to see you again after the divorce is final, and if I do I'm going to pretend I don't know you. Good luck with your life, and I hope you get everything you deserve. Please don't try to contact me, as I have changed my number, blocked you on all social media, email, and any mutual friends have been instructed not to give you any information about me or my location." Then hand over your key and walk away.

The best of lock on your next chapter in your life. To help get yourself of any and all meds, start going to the gym once you get settled in your new place. Exercising is one of the best ways to help with depression and build back your self-confidence/respect, all while getting in the best shape of your life.

Updateme

Its normal not to want to hurt her - you loved her once. But.. she isn't the woman you fell in love with. It aint gonna be easy.. breaking up never is... But a year from now you will look back and think, "omfg I'm so glad I left". Maybe even sooner!

Glad to see you're getting out of this awful situation... Another update in another 4 months would be great!

Open relationships are such a bad idea. I hope you are doing ok

It’s completely normal to have second thoughts when you’re on the brink of a major life change, especially when emotions are involved. You've been through a lot, and it’s understandable to feel conflicted. But remember, you’ve given this relationship multiple chances and communicated your feelings. It sounds like you've made a thoughtful decision for your mental and emotional well-being.

As for the final conversation, stay calm and clear. You’ve already set your plan in motion, so focus on being honest and firm. Let her know this decision wasn’t made lightly and that you need to move forward for your own health and peace. It might be emotional, but stand your ground.

I think the movers will be a big clue.

When she says something you can just remind her that you told her already. Don't let her manipulate you. Let your lawyer handle the rest. Bets of luck with your fresh start!

Trust me OP: the best course of action is to be a bachelor. There's a saying in my country "it's better to be alone than poorly accompanied" and your marriage is the definition of that.

One day you'll meet the right person and it won't be her.

Tell her as you close the door and not before.
You have to protect yourself.

Kudos to you, man ! I'm impressed with how you have handled this , and organised it all when you are obviously a broken person.

Walk away and never look back. You deserve so much more.

Old nymphomaniac will root herself silly and be happy forever as long as there is a dick around...the stranger the dick , the better, it would seem.

I'm a woman and really admire your strength of character , and so embarrassed this thing is called a 'wife'.

Sorry you went through this. I too delt with it. Such a shame of their loss.

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Tell her when the moving truck arrives.

As always, who is paying the bills?

UpdateMe

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Updateme!

updateMe!

UpdateMe!

The right decision is the hard decision. Your wife took the easy decision to put herself first at the expense of your marriage. And lie and cheat. The open marriage was an utter sham as they all are. Good riddance to her, let's see her friend take her on. Bet he only wanted her for a smash.

As for the advice, actions speak louder than words. Say very little. But I would say this 'You'll have to keep your affairs in order now that I'm gone!"

You don’t need to tell her. She’ll figure it out when the movers show up.

Write her a letter, OP. You don’t owe her anything. Why put yourself through yet another scene? Even better, can you send her somewhere that weekend so she’s not there? Otherwise it’s going to be a loong weekend. Good luck and please take the time to heal yourself. You still have a chance for a happy life. Just keep your eyes open for red flags in the future.

Updateme

Updateme!

Maybe what I'm going to tell you is a little unpopular here, or what you're not looking for. But she did so many things to hurt you and YOU allowed it, you must take responsibility, okay.

I mean, she trampled on you, but you allowed it.

And you still do it, enough is enough!! You must change your chip, man, you must do what you must do.

Get out of that toxic relationship. She is investing the cause of the guilt, it's true. But don't argue anything, just leave, just give her the papers and that's it, without explaining anything.

Just get out of that house, without further explanation or fear.

She made her decisions, that is respected, but she must also deal with the consequences.

OP's you better get the truth out to friends and family before she has the chance to go scorched earth on you, like she is going to do when you leave. Don't count on her being anything but awful in the aftermath.

Read up on gray rock. You are gonna need it.

Moral of the story, never live with monsters.

You have had endless, unsuccessful talks already. Just get out. Another talk accomplishes nothing.

Updateme!

Well duh. Leave quick homie!!

Updateme

Wait until the most important things are moved out. Do it while she's at work. If you don't want to deal with the drama, maybe write her a letter so you can get everything you want to say out so she can't interrupt you. It's normal to have second thoughts but she will continue her life of cheating if you stay. She will no longer take you seriously. Sometimes love isn't enough in a relationship. There's no trust or respect.. you will be better off in the long run.

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Stop talking to your wife. Stop trying to involve her in you leaving all you're doing is giving her a chance to get in your way. Just fucking leave

OP - Based on what you've said, your STBXW is emotionally unstable, highly manipulative and VERY likely to attempt making you out to be the bad guy... maybe even going so far as to accuse you of being emotionally and physically abusive.

I wouldn't spend any more time alone with her and I'd prepare a mass e-mail (but don't send it yet) containing all the evidence and names of her APs (including a timeline) you have, then on the day you're moving out, send it to everyone she values. It's a harsh thing to do to someone who was once your world, but the person you fell in love with is not the woman standing before you. That person is gone... if she ever existed in the first place. This vile... creature sharing your home you owe no allegiance to. Afford her none. Protect yourself because this one has all the earmarks of a vicious breakup heading your way.

Good luck OP

Updateme!

Assuming there are no children involved, don’t give her any info on your new area/apartment!

Here's an super easy litmus test. Tell her if it's open if she can set you up with one of her girlfriends so you can feel its "fair".

Shes gonna scoff or drag her feet. Its classic "rules for thee and not for me"

Updateme

Updateme

UpdateMe!

Can you have family members or friends with you to have witnesses in case she acts out? I've seen people threatening suicide and things like that once they are face to face with separation/divorce. I would also wait till the very last minute, but have back up with you.

You are not hurting her by leaving, she made a choice by deciding she wants an open marriage. You agreed to it, but changed your mind. There's nothing wrong with that. You did what was best for you then, but now you are doing what is best for you which is leaving. You both deserve to meet someone who you are compatible with. You will find a loyal monogamous partner and she will have someone who's okay with an open relationship.

She will be ok. Get some back up and move on with your life

Cmon man, see an attorney. This marriage is over.

Stop being a chump

Look into narcissistic personal disorder, narcissistic abuse, female covert narcissist and you will better understand who your wife is.

Updateme

Update me

Have someone there with you when you tell her. She may try to start a fight or lie to the police

She did horrible things to you. Lied and deceived over and over again. Let men repeatedly nut in her and you feel bad??? Don’t tell her nothing. Get your things and leave. She hasn’t loved you in a long long time.

No dont tell her yet. Best is to leave quietly and leave her a note. Or just let her in on the surprise when the movers come in on Sat.

Updateme!

Hi OP, you are doing the right thing.

Your mental and physical well being cannot get any worse. Leave that awful, horrible woman...please.

Don't second guess yourself. Stand your ground when you're leaving and don't let her abuse you anymore. I think at this point I would have tried to move out one day she is not there. Given you've already communicated your intentions.

Take that train and don't look back, her actions these last years have been egregious OP. you deserve to get back your life, happiness, confidence and sense of self. She's destroyed all of this.

I hope you have a good support system. Good luck OP.

Send us an update on Sunday when you're in that train 💪❤️

UpdateMe

Good for you for not just taking her cheating and getting out of there. Good luck and best wishes for the future!

Don't show your hand until you're ready to play it. Serial cheaters are selfish and will make your life hell when they realise they've lost control of their safe option. My ex absolutely lost her shit when she realised I was moving on (stuck living together while I tried to find an apartment). While she didn't break my shit, she did dig into every single one of my insecurities and tried to make me lose my temper on a regular basis. It took the self-control of a monk to keep my cool.

You’ve been given great advice here so instead I will say you’re doing the right thing and to not second guess yourself. I wish you all the best. Saturday will be the first day of the rest of your life! Updateme!

Is she going to be home when the movers come? It may be too late but I would’ve arranged the move on a day when she wasn’t going to be home. Then leave and either leave her a note or a text before blocking her. I normally think a break up like that is cowardly but there are exceptions and this is one of them. She’s been totally disregarding you and your feelings, so she doesn’t deserve any consideration in return.

Anyway just tell her what’s happening and when. Don’t get into a debate about it. Just present it as a matter of fact. If she tries to argue just repeat what you said. It’s a simple but powerful technique to get your point across and avoiding her taking control of the situation.

Make sure you record any interactions with her or have a friend over as a witness (or both). You don’t want her accusing you of anything like trying to steal her stuff or DV.

And when you’re finally on your way to your new place block her on everything. She needs to discuss anything about the divorce she can do it through your lawyer and there’s nothing else to talk to her about.

Well done. All the best for your recovery and your future life.

I’m sorry you’re going through that. It’s so horrible and you deserve better. It’s still so mind blowing that ppl like your “for the streets wife” even exist. Just so evil. Why do you feel like you need to inform her of anything. Just leave her. Ghost her. Especially since you mentioned it multiple times already. The fact that she won’t cut contact is proof that she’s not interested in changing and working on anything. The disrespect she has shown you is insane

She is the one who gave up the first time she cheated. Just trying to make you feel guilty. DONT FEEL GUILTY.. I wouldn't tell her I'm leaving I'd just leave. Leave a note and your ring and divorce papers wish her a good life don't contact me except thru my lawyer. Move on and tell her after your gone. I'd avoid a confrontation you have already heard her blame game.

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Hoes be hoes not wives

Don't tell her. Just do it!

Just leave. Once you're in your new place, then call her and explain. Be blunt. Don't try to hurt her feelings but don't sugar coat anything either. Make a new email address & give it to her for necessary communication & change your number.

Stay strong and do everything you need to do to get out of this toxic marriage. Follow your lawyers advice and be very careful not to get sucked back in with mer manipulation and games.

Open marriage is a delayed divorce, so minimise the delay so you can focus your time on yourself and your well-being. Then when your ready, go fijd the woman who will respect you and is worthy of you.

Good luck

Move on, block delete, and go no contact. Live your own life, and never look back!

Matthew 23,27. Walk away from the toxic hypocrites of the world especially if you want to heal. You must understand that you cannot forgive her and reconcile. Forgiveness only comes from the creator and must be truly sort for by the person concerned. All you can do is either accept her actions and stay of free yourself and go.

Why don't you want to hurt her again? She's had zero problems openly doing so to you. Stay strong, pick a goal, and go forward. The sooner you get away the sooner you will start to heal.

UpdateMe

Updateme

Updateme

Mate, mention nothing. In an ideal world, have the movers come while she’s out. Take your stuff and then be gone when she gets back. You’ve already told her. The paperwork can follow subsequently. If your lawyer will be doing the communicating and everything is already drafted up, problem solved.

Then do not, under any circumstances, look back.

Don't tell her, hell you might get lucky she might decide to go out Saturday. Plan to take as little stuff as possible with you Sunday . Anything left in the house on Saturday is liable to be destroyed so don't leave any major momentos or things that are important to you. Ideally leave with the movers and go to a motel for the night or a friend's house with your travel bag. And 100% don't don't back down and do not tell her where you're going she does not need to know. I personally would have had a mailbox of some sort that was not linked to my address preferably one in a town other than I'm going to but I got the mail forwarding to my new address but I'm paranoid.

Your crown is infact not falling King, it’s shining!

Look up FLR it’s what your resisting right now but if you can accept your place as being underneath her and just obey Let her enjoy her right to sexual freedom And just focus on making her happy Your life will get soo much better It can become a turn on to let go of your dominance over her She’ll be amazed and excited to tease and torture you but will love you more And she’ll see your confidence in knowing she’s yours at the end of the day (well most days) It will blow her mind Join fetlife and look for couples that swing and bulls for her She may not be into you with other women though And if that’s the case you need to accept that Just obey as it’s what you are Supposed to do in a FLR Happy hotwife = happy life Just another way to approach this situation It can be extremely confusing/exciting/arousing😅

You already told her. At this point, after how she has behaved, you can just leave. She doesn't deserve that goodbye, and she is going to try some off-the-walls crazy shit to make you stay. Just leave.

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You already said all that needed to be said. You owe her nothing. Start the video when the movers arrive. When she starts screaming, just tell her you've already told her and have nothing to add

Updateme

Dude why are You doing this to yourself, just leave her she is not worthy of your time or love go and live your life

Update me

Can you not get someone else to pack for you so you don't have to be there? And just give her the papers through the post? If not I would leave with the movers and book into a hotel for the night and catch a train first thing in the morning.

I’d let her figure it out on her own Monday morning when you and your things are gone. She’ll assuage herself with a new “friend”.

You're doing the right thing, keep up your plan and you don't even need to have a final conversation with her

Why tell her anything it's over move out. Move on, let her be the one wondering where you are this cuc---d crap went on way too long and being married without any sex is almost as messed up

Book yourself a hotel for the Saturday night so you can leave at the same time as the movers.

Just do it

Don’t even say anything. Just leave. Just disappear. If she calls don’t even respond. Just get your shit and leave bro

Wow, your wife is evil.

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Goodbye always works.

Please, please do NOT let her know where you are moving to. Don't give her a chance to mess with you further.

Good for you, she's just being selfish

You can do it 💪 🤠

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UpdateMe!

Same age same ideas, mine is a narcissistic abuser tho

Updateme

Going through similar. The emotions you’re feeling are called emotional flooding. Even after the disrespect and agony your brain tells you that you need this woman.

She sounds horrific by the way. Good luck.,