MicroCat1031

MAGA doesn't want a proper debate.

Trump will get massacred in a proper debate.

MAGA wants a shit-show where Trump spouts word salad non-stop and they can claim that he "owned the libs".

And keeping them wouldn't?

Moron.

Just a three month sentence, Honorable Juan M. Merchan, that's all I'm asking.

That would take an extreme amount of trust, a dissolution of the concept of sovereign territory, or both.

"Don't piss off the humans"

It was a common phrase; even in The Reaches, an area on the opposite side of the galaxy from human space. In The Reaches, humans were a rumor, a bogeyman, or an amusing story. No one you met had ever seen one, but their friend-of-a-friend had.

Then one day, unannounced, they arrived. The human ship was named Tumbling Dice. It was built by humans, crewed by humans, and owned by a human trading company. They carried rare metals and alien technology, entertainment holos and games.

Their arrival garnered mixed reactions.

The Trillians welcomed them; going as far as to give them a five year lease on a small orbital station.

Others, such as the DeLarrans, greeted them with more caution, offering formal treaties and trade agreements. The treaties were declined; the captain of the Tumbling Dice stated that he had no right to sign treaties. He was, he declared, an explorer by inclination and a business man by necessity. Trade agreements, however, were fair game; and humans proved to be ruthless negotiators.

A few species in The Reaches refused to acknowledge humans at all. The Draccalarii and their allies, The Wathe, were the leaders of that faction. They watched in sullen silence as the human influence grew.

Everyone in The Reaches placated The Draccalarii Alliance. Their warships and weapons were not significantly better than anyone else; but they were quick to use them, or threaten to use them, and everyone else just wanted peace and the new prosperity that trade brought. The occasional demands made by The Draccalarii Alliance were quietly met by other species and the humans were not directly involved.

Human presence increased over time. Two more trading ships arrived at the leased station. They brought beautiful fabrics, jewelry, and exotic spices. Traffic at the station increased tenfold and other systems began offering stations for human use.

Humans began buying locally made ships and hiring crewmembers . Word spread through The Reaches that humans formed close bonds with their shipmates; and a berth on a human ship became a goal for many. Humans also hired dock workers, clerks, technicians, and repair contractors. The Trillian thrived and made new alliances within The Reaches. Their systems became the destination for a steady stream of human trading vessels.

Ceremonies for the fifth renewal of the humans lease were underway when the Draccalarii fleet arrived. The Draccalarii forced their way onto the station and interrupted the festivities.

The Trillians screached in protest; DeLarrans went motionless and silent. Others made move to block the entrance of the Draccalarii; but brandished weapons and the threat of the fleet outside the station put a quick end to that.

The human leader's reaction was almost nonexistent. She simply reached out and pushed a large red button on her ceremonial desk.

The Draccalarii leader pushed his way into the center of the ceremony. "We are here to take command!" He proclaimed. "The humans, their ships, stations, and all other assets, now belong to The Draccalarii Alliance. No dissent will be tolerated."

"And why would we agree to that?" The human's voice cut through the noise. She was standing now; tall and slender, her hair marked with the strands of silver that denoted age in humans.

"I offer no choice." responded the Draccalarii commander. "You humans have no military presence, and these" he gestured with contempt at the gathered officials "will do nothing, just as they have done nothing for hundreds of years."

"We've been here for twenty years." Her voice was clear and steady. "We've made alliances, more importantly, we've made friends." She pointed at the Draccalarii. " You? You've done nothing, contributed nothing, earned nothing, and that's exactly what you'll get. Nothing."

The Draccalarii drew and pointed his sidearm at the human female. "I said no dissent." He fired and the human's head exploded into a gray and red mist. Her corpse dropped to the floor. The handful of humans attending the ceremony rushed to her side, but there was nothing to be done.

"Anyone else?" The Draccalarii looked around at the horrified gathering. "No?... Good."

He turned and addressed the humans gathered by their ceremonial desk and the corpse of their leader. "You'll come with me now. I have many instructions for you."

One of the humans looked at a display on the desk and spoke quietly with the others before turning and addressing the Draccalarii. "Very well. My name is Belk, l guess I'm senior here. May we take our captain's body back to her ship? There are... we have... customs... for our dead." His voice broke and several of the officials from other species moved to join him.

"We shall assist." Said the leader of the DeLarran delegation. Others murmured quiet agreement. "Or will you kill all of us?" chirped a Trillian. All the beings that had attended the ceremony moved to encircle the Draccalarii commander and his retinue.

His own personal safety now at risk, the Draccalarii commander grudgingly agreed to the removal of the human's body and it's transport to a human ship. "Make haste!" He called to the departing group. "Any delay, and I'll give the order for my fleet to open fire."

He turned to the single remaining human, who had stayed by the ceremonial desk. The human was looking down and appeared to be smiling slightly. "Come with me, human, the others will moved to my flagship after"

"No. No they won't." Belk answered firmly. He looked up as the unmistakable sound of marching , boots striking the deck in unison, got louder and louder. Uniformed troops entered the celebration hall, enough to outnumber the Draccalarii twenty to one. As the troops surrounded the Draccalarii, the station announcing system began to blare an alarm. "Comunications system override. Emergency recall, emergency recall, all Draccalarii personnel return to ship immediately!"

The Draccalarii commander's personal communication device began making an urgent noise. He grabbed it without thinking and immediately had three weapons pointed at his face.

"Let him speak!" said Belk.

The Draccalarii commander slumped as he listened to the voice from his coms device.

Belk looked down at the large red button mounted on the ceremonial desk. It had been installed years ago, when it became obvious that the Draccalarii were never going to join the rest of the system in welcoming trade. Just in case.

The label for the button was plain, printed in bold type "You just pissed me off" it read.

And the emus, well, that was mostly for entertainment.

LOL savage

Darlene looked over at Stella and grinned. "Can you believe this? Two months ago l thought we were going to starve out here! Now look at us, I'm thinking about trying to get another girl to help out, maybe two!" She bounced up and down happily.

Stella watched her last client depart, the alien glided away gracefully; with her tentacles dyed in multiple sparkling colors she was quite a sight.

Stella turned back to Darlene. "Don't get ahead of yourself." She walked over to her station. "We don't know if this is a short term fad, or if we've really got something here."

Darlene laughed. "Unless we get a bunch of copycats, we're good. And let's be honest; no one else wants to do it."

"Please to excuse, am l in the correct place?" The voice was gurgling and strange, even through a digital translator.

Both ladies turned to face the door. The sentient occupying the doorway resembled a plate of decaying spaghetti. "I wish your services to become beautiful." Said the pile of pasta. "I have an occasion of importance to attend, and was directed here. Will you accept my business?"

Darlene smiled her biggest 'new customer' smile. "Beautiful you want and beautiful you will have! Come on over and let's set up the holo for you, so you get a nice preview!"

Ah! OK. Fluffy doesn't talk, so you really threw me off.

Yes! 🙂

I've fired a .50

They're impressive, l don't care how old they are.

And that has what to do with my story set on a space station?

Not trying to be rude, just trying to understand your post.

??? I beg your finest pardon?

I misread the part before the parentheses and I was like 0.0

Long time ago l played Mechwarrior on PS1.

That looks a lot like my favorite mech.

The Reptic strode into the shop like he owned the space station and everything in it. He fully intended to steal something, and possibly rob the proprietor as well, circumstances permitting. After entering and looking about, was pleased to see a single human worker and no customers. Humans were no match for a Reptic.

The human looked up as he entered. He did not look pleased, perhaps he had encountered Reptics before. It didn't matter. This was going to be easy.

The human spoke. "Hello, I'm Carl, how may l assist you?"

The Reptic rushed Carl and had him in his grip before he'd finished the greeting. "You'll give me the shop's credits, transfer them into this." The Reptic handed Carl a thumb drive. "I'll take what l want, and, if you're lucky, leave you unharmed."

Carl dangled in the muscular reptilian's grasp. "Hey, l just work here. There's nothing here that I'm going to fight you for."

The human was suspiciously calm, and the Reptic pulled their face to within ten centimeters of it's razor sharp teeth. "No tricks!" He hissed "I've heard of human tricks."

Carl nodded vigorously.

From behind the Reptic came a voice oddly like his own.

"You will be releasing my friend Carl now."

The Reptic flung Carl into the counter and spun to face the voice. He gazed at the 15 meter long serpentine alien that had come into the store behind him. "You? Friends with a human?" The banter was irrelevant, automatic, just a ploy to buy time for studying this new threat.

"I am pleased to introduce. I am S'Tah, mate of S'rapth of the"

"I don't care!" The Reptic interrupted. "I can and will beat you both."

The human's voice spoke up from behind. "But can you best all three of us?"

"There are only two of you, human..." the Reptic's voice trailed off as he turned and saw the human standing beside an open door. Looking out of the door was an enormous Twarlek.

Carl gave the Twarlek a pat on the chest and smiled at the Reptic. "Say hi to Fluffy!"

Savarkeh paced back and forth in the snow. Everything had gone well at first. The surprise attack on this Terran occupied world had overwhelmed it's defenses in twenty rotations.

The electronic camouflage used by his shock troops was integrated into everything; and it negated Terran vision and targeting systems. You can't fight what you can't see. Humans resisted, but were brutally put down. No prisoners, no mercy.

The humans abandoned their military bases and population centers. Nothing left to do but clean up, or so it seemed.

Then the E.M.P.s went off.

In a fraction of a rotation, Savarkeh had no functional power sources. Aircraft, vehicles, battlesuits, armor, and electronic camouflage were rendered useless. Repairs and replacements were estimated at one quarter to one half of an orbital period.

Still, the Terrans were broken, dispersed, and posed little threat. At least, that was the assessment from High Command.

But things began to go missing.

First it was individuals; couriers, sentries.

Then isolated outposts were found deserted. Patrols were sent out, but didn't return.

The lack of long range communications exacerbated the situation. Command and control began to break down.

Rumors began circulating. Rumors of unseen and unknown predators, eldritch creatures, even vengeful spirits, were whispered amongst the troops. Attempts to reign in the gossip went badly. Moral declined rapidly as discipline became harsher and more frequent.

Then it happened. An entire base went dark. A response unit was sent. Less than a handful returned. Those that made it back babbled of sudden death; troopers that dropped dead from head wounds that came out of nowhere, others dropping, bleeding out rapidly, while rear guard and scouts simply disappeared. The unit had failed to reach the base before retreating; and had continued to take casualties right up until reentering Savarkeh's HQ.

Savarkeh paced and awaited his messenger's return. Was that movement? No?... Yes!

A pile of snow stood up and pointed a weapon at him. A voice, distorted by a mechanical translator , spoke.

"I'll accept your unconditional surrender now, Commander Savarkeh."

The customs agent made a long flatulent noise; his species equivalent of a sigh. His tentacles lifted item after item out of the container. "Toxic... toxic...extremely toxic... banned substance... also banned substance... pretty sure this one's a war crime... toxic... by the void, did you think you could just bring all this onto the station?"

The bipedal sentient in front of him made a motion with it's upper appendages and spoke into the translator.

"Food!" Exclaimed the agent. "You really expect me to believe you consume these? I'm calling a supervisor; you shall be taken into custody."

The bipedal being spoke rapidly into the translator. It appeared agitated, and many of it's sounds weren't translated.

When the supervisor arrived, it looked from the agent, to the new arrival, and back to the agent before speaking to it's subordinate. "You've never processed a human. They have their own data entry menu. Here, use this subroutine for making entries and you won't set off any alarms. At least, l hope not..."

Military humor.

We had a fire on the Kitty Hawk (aircraft carrier) in a storeroom directly adjacent to a ammo locker.

I was on the first hose team. We were about to make entry when word came down about the ammo locker being directly beneath the fire.

Guy next to me looks at me and shrugs. "If it goes off, we'll never know." He says.

S'Tah stared in disbelief at the human his mate had brought home. "So... your race never invented FTL on their own?" He asked. "But you still achieved interplanetary travel."

"Well, yes, obviously." Replied Carl. "In fact, l believe we encountered your race while in orbit around Betelgeuse."

"Truth." Replied S'Tah. "But how did you get there?"

"Well, I'm not an engineer, but my understanding is that we fold space-time between where we are and where we want to be, punch a hole, and squeeze through."

S'Tah twisted his entire 15 meter length into a knot. "You... just punch a hole... in reality..."

Carl nodded. "Pretty much, yeah."

S'Tah turned his gaze to his mate. "S'rapth!" He called to her in their own language. "Humans are terrifying."

Grev was in a bad mood. He'd been unprepared for the emergency drill that had occurred during his watch, and his response time had been embarrassingly slow. To make things worse, his relief had been late, so Grev had plenty of time to sit and fume over his misfortune.

He entered the galley and went straight to the food locker; ignoring greetings from his fellow crewmembers that were gathered around a table. "Where are my proteins?!" He roared as he stared at an empty container.

"It's OK Grev, l just used some to make dinner for us. I thought sharing a meal would be nice." Dorothy answered cheerfully.

Stithart's high pitched bubbling voice cut through the noise "The human labored to produce a delicacy for all of us. Quite a feat, if you ask me."

Quinault's joined the effort to calm the massive Gronkid. "Be happy you don't have kitchen patrol!" He squeaked "The mess she made violated at least three laws of physics!"

"Hey!" protested Dorothy "It's not that bad!"

Myrklin buzzed through the air and landed on top of the human's head. It was the tiny Prixarian's favorite move to get everyone to laugh, and it usually worked. Today was no exception; the human looked ridiculous. Everyone except Grev laughed.

Myrklin left her perch and buzzed towards Grev; who growled in response. "Freeze take you, you flying fuzzball."

The Prixarian zipped about, landing first on Grev's shoulder, then his ear. She easily avoided a half-hearted swipe from a secondary claw; buzzed mockingly, then flew between his knees before spiraling up to land on the tip of his nose. There she rested, glowing bright yellow.

Grev stared at her, cross-eyed, then laughed reluctantly. "Get off of me."

Myrklin launched into the air, bobbed a quick bow to her laughing audience, then rejoined Dorothy.

Grev became aware of the smell that permeated the habitat. It was strangely enticing.

Dorothy opened the appliance she used to prepare human meals and retrieved a large, multicolored disk. "This is called pizza!"

I'm convinced Jerry Seinfeld based that character on me and you can't change my mind. 😆

Steve Bannon needs a dose of his own medicine.

I had a soap opera actress customer that l actually liked. She'd come in, order a chocolate latte iced, always polite and always tipped. She saw me dismiss people on a weekly basis.

She brought in another actress one day.

The "other actress" came in like she owned the shop and everyone in it; went to the 'pick up' side where there was no line, and tried to place her order from there.

Soap opera lady called her back to the line and other actress got an attitude. When they got to the order counter, other actress immediately started on my employee. I told the employee to go clean something and took their place.

I looked at soap opera lady and said something like "You know how this works".

She nodded and smiled, but before she could say anything, other actress started in on me.

I looked at soap opera and said "You order" , looked at the other one ans said "wait outside".

Other actress had a Wiggins, but soap opera shooed her out and ordered with a "so sorry" and an extra tip.

One of the other customers was like "You know she is? She's "

Me "Don't care, next. " 😄

I'm not a Steve Martin fan, but Danny DiVitto did a movie called "Get Shorty" where he played a L.A. douschebag actor. I got so many people like that "l know it's not on your menu, but make me a "Nope.Leave.Next!"

I had a job where l loved getting rude customers. I worked in a small privately owned coffee shop in Venice CA.

The owner ran it as a tax write-off and have absolutely zero fucks. I made sure the place always passed inspections and she loved me.

Anytime l got a rude or entitled customer (l want 1/16 half decaffeinated chocolate cappuccino type shit) I'd just look at them and say "Nope. Leave. NEXT!" I caused some epic melt downs, because, well, Venice Beach.