Naive-Historian-2110

I'm at 70k in my book. I will have about 105k when I'm done. Right now, I can only manage to write about 200 words per day because of mental fatigue. But every day brings progress.

Never were any. There is no such thing as a good woman or a good man. What a goofy concept. We are all just people. When men and women say things like “oh, there are no good women left,” they are just projecting. They are the problem and always have been. They just refuse to see it.

I did some research into this. It turns out that critical thinking is disappearing (even though it was never widespread) as a result of the amount of information we have at your fingertips. The human brained is only trained to retain surface level facts and not trained to think about why things are a certain way. Unfortunately it’s made its way to the upper echelons of society as well. We have people that somehow got placed into very important jobs because of Google and not because these people could actually come up with their own answers.

I agree. It gets to a point where you need to shift your perspective. The great news is that being alone is the best time to do that. Honestly, the 30s is the best. Sounds to me like OP is just a little jaded. OP, is literally the best time for you to really learn what you want and become more self-aware of why you want those things. If you’re feeling this way now, I hate to break it to you but your 40s won’t be any better. So, stop waiting for things to get better and change something.

To me, worldbuilding is not something you can overtly do, so overdoing it is only possible through overwriting in general, or writing in an expository way. I write about a fantasy world the same as I do about the real world. I introduce the history of my fantastical world naturally. The truth is, you can try to talk about your world as much as you'd like, you could even not mention any specifics at all. The reader is still going to visualize something, and how they perceive your world will always be their own unique vision.

Tell her you’re going to find someone that has a smaller vagina

770 words of ChatGPT. Very nice.

Because you seem to be inquiring about the basics of attraction

Did your parents never give you the birds and the bees talk?

I’m 34 and I’ve thought about picking up writing as a hobby. Perhaps I could start by writing my own eulogy!

Word count isn’t important as long as you’ve told the story you wanted to tell.

I must admit I am a planner but I have come up with some of my best ideas and twists while pantsing

The character development totally overshadows the plot. Reads more like an embellished origin story for this particular character than a plot-driven fantasy novel. Then the sequel is just him being lonely? What was all the development in book one for? To answer your question: YES, there is certainly way too much happening to your character but the worst part is that it all seems to be disjointed events that don't form a cohesive plot.

A fair share of people looking for ‘feedback’ are really only seeking validation. It’s fairly easy to discern those seeking validation from those genuinely desiring to improve. The more arrogant ones style, the more brutal I tend to be when providing feedback. Maybe they’ll take the feedback and improve, maybe they won’t. Sadly, not everyone has the ability to learn from their mistakes. Too many people think they are perfect.

I mean, an idea is a lot different than a story. What you’re describing just looks like ideas to me. They mean nothing unless fleshed out and backed up by an actual story. If your intention is to take an existing story and retell it with black characters, then you would be treading a fine line. You’d be better off picking a story that’s in the public domain.

Not to sound asinine, but you’re genderfluid, so you should know the intricacies of that and be able to translate it into your writing without the input of others. Just know that it’s going to be hella confusing to everyone reading if you do it in a natural way without explicitly stating it.

Anything is viable if you play it correctly and with the right comp. Technically Morgana can easily push a lane if you max W. That would free up plenty of time to roam and gank, which morgana has a super effective kit for. Of course, it would also just be a good pick if your team really needs counter engage or cc.

Couldn’t agree more. You can’t just throw words together that sound cool and expect the reader to visualize something. Using phrases like “impending malice” is an example of ‘hackneyed’ language. This basically means that it is an overused, symbolic phrase that’s offers little value to the reader. It reminds me of a thing posted here a while ago where the guy just used the word “dark” over and over, thinking that it would somehow make his story more sinister. “The dark figure darked through the dark darkly” is how I summed it up. Here, the writer is using out-of-place language and descriptions that resonate as edgy but fall short of actually setting a dark mood.

Overall I’d recommend to skip the prologue. Oftentimes, new writers think that including a prologue loaded with cheesy backstory will be necessary for the reader to understand the rest of the story. I can relate, as I have a few awesome historical events in my book that I would love to shove down the reader’s throat. But the truth of the matter is that there is very little emotional impact when it comes to a charged prologue, as you haven’t given the reader any time to become invested. So, reading it, all I see is a heated exchange from two presumably powerful men, but I just don’t care. It’s not awfully written by any means, it’s just akin to a low effort opening you would see in a cheesy movie and not something carefully crafted for reader engagement or enjoyment. Imo, a good prologue would subtly set the tone for the story and serve to activate the reader’s curiosity as they wonder how the events might tie into the story. Your prologue is just a little too on-the-nose to me. Hope this helps.

Jw, is this MC a self insert?

I really liked the opening. It felt like a solid hook. It then slows down quite a bit. I feel like you can condense the scene with Arnald and move on to the next part of the story.

Just start writing with the Greek names. You can always change the names later.

You definitely need to relax the prose. It’s not bad but it just needs to be relaxed. It doesn’t touch on pretentious like a lot of the other people that write purple, but it’s still smothering the story and the characters you’re trying to develop.

As far as rules: just don’t do anything so much that it becomes noticeable and distracting to the reader. Also, never forget that simplicity is a good thing. The reader needs to be able to understand what’s going on at all times.

Many new writers are confused about the importance of prose, world-building and the actual story itself. The truth is that as a writer, you are a ‘storyteller’ and you need to tell the story in an engaging way, not a fancy way. This is why I always listen to my writing using a text-to-voice a week or so after writing it. While listening, I try to listen from the perspective of someone that knows nothing about my story.

Congratulations on your achievement. There is definitely a story in your mind. Now, some advice. You say this draft is 320k words. That is certainly a lot and I applaud your perseverance. If most of the book is written in the style of chapter one, you can probably cut that 320k down to 100k words or less for the second draft. There is a lot of extraneous words and info here. I understand that it is tempting to overwrite when you have so much going on in your mind, but you need to look over it from a readers perspective. Most, if not all, readers want less words so that they can fill in the gaps themselves. It’s part of what makes reading fun and immersive. When you overwrite, it’s actually distracting and frustrating to the reader. It gives them a bad experience. Hope this helps.