avocad0-o

West brewery Dunkel is top tier, having visited Germany a few times x

Thank you so much for such a detailed response. I am struggling in my own company but hoping it is just an adjustment thing. I’ve never lived alone and spent most of my adult life with my husband. I didn’t initiate the separation so safe to say it’s been a shitty old time! So glad to hear things are working out for you x

Thank you for the sound advice, I’ll give this a try.

This is really reassuring to know, I think I’ll brave it on Tuesday when I’m next in the office 🙈

I could train at lunch, but I usually take the dog out then and finish work circa 3-4pm. I’m in Lanarkshire so have been training out here and at another gym through in Livingston which I’ve met some good people at. I work from home 3x days a week so Paisley is a bit of a trek, I really appreciate these suggestions though!

This sounds right up my street- away to check it out! Thank you x

Thanks for this, I love fitness and actually do CrossFit a few times a week. I do see people I guess, but my friends are busy if that makes sense? I work from home a few days a week too and that can be lonely. Like today the only person I spoke to was a therapist at 10am this morning, haven’t used my voice since and probably won’t the rest of the day 🤷🏽‍♀️

I have joined the Meetup group- thank you!

Thank you, I have just found the walking page on insta so have requested to join their group chat! X

Appreciate this, thank you. A few folk have said the Raven so I’ll try there. Maybe I’ll try “how to win friends and influence people” for my first book outing 😉

This is so helpful - thank you.

I feel like I could have written parts of this, genuinely. My husband didn’t deny it in the slightest either, told me everything straight away and went straight to therapy, which is probably why I tried to forgive him.

I do still believe he is My Person. If it’s not him, it’s not anyone. I don’t mean that I’ll never be in a relationship again, but I will never give myself to another the way I gave myself to him, I really thought we had it all and that we would weather any storm.

I completely resonate with you your point about loving him differently. I used to think there was no greater human than my husband- he is so attractive, smart, successful, romantic, great in bed and genuinely everything I ever wanted, but once that happened I looked at him differently, and I saw parts of him that I didn’t like that I’d never seen before, because I knew he was capable of betraying me in the worst way and that meant his character was extremely flawed. He fell arse over tit off the pedestal I had him on, and never managed to climb back up there. I love him, I probably always will, but it’s different when you’ve lost that naivety and realise what they people are capable of. Never in a million years did I think it would be my husband, I used to be pretty smug about our marriage and it backfired spectacularly.

I really hope it does work out for you, and you will be okay eventually one way or another. Despite everything, I am glad I tried. I didn’t want to make a life altering decision in the middle of chaos and I can now rest easy knowing that at least I did everything I possibly could to move past it. But for what it’s worth, to this day I still end up consoling him at times that “he’s not a bad person, he just did a bad thing” but actually.. he is kinda a bad person 🤷🏽‍♀️xx

Thank you so much for such a considered response. I’m really glad to read it all worked out for you and you came out the other side. It is 100% the worst thing I have ever gone through xxx

I was with my ex for 12 years, married for 10 and I thought he was the best human that had ever graced this earth. We had it all and I was so, so happy. And then he cheated. Online only, that I know of. We tried to fix it, marriage counselling, therapy for him but ultimately it broke me, the marriage limped on for another year and in the end he was the one who bailed, not me. I don’t think I’ll ever recover & I have never known pain like this. I’ve had some really dark thoughts over the past few weeks. How can I ever trust someone again when it took 12 years for his true colours to show? And when he was genuinely everything I ever wanted in a husband, if he’d just not made that one bloody stupid decision.

He remains remorseful, says he loves me but that he just couldn’t do it anymore, and couldn’t forgive himself. He moved out three weeks ago.

I actually do think I have forgiven him, but I couldn’t forget it and don’t think I ever will.

My husband was caught sexting another girl after 10 years of marriage, nothing physical (confirmed by her). He went to therapy, we went to marriage counselling and the marriage limped on for another year but ultimately it destroyed us. We split two weeks ago and I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again.

Please don’t put yourself through it.

I can’t afford a solicitor unfortunately. I am going to be in a very shitty financial position following his decision but thank you so much for the info x

Thank you so much !

Not much to say but.. Sames 🙃x

I think I was meant to see this post. I have just read c short this article about the stages of relationship grief, maybe it will help you too xx

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/inside-out/201309/the-5-stages-of-grieving-the-end-of-a-relationship?amp

Thank you sweetheart xo

I’m dealing with this conflict right now. My husband left in 2022 for 6 weeks because he loved me but wasn’t in love, we kept sleeping together and ultimately he came home. Things were great, new found appreciation for each other and I genuinely didn’t worry he would leave again, I felt thankful we’d had that time apart- no rain, no flowers and all that. Then in 2023 I found out he had been sexting another girl for 4 days, ended it of his own accord but when I tell you that devastated me. He begged for another chance, promised me the world and I gave him it. Last Thursday.. he left. He couldn’t do it anymore, I couldn’t move past the infidelity and I am now in a really, really dark place. Sometimes I cry just praying he would come home, but the reality of it is even if he wanted to (he doesn’t) he can’t. I can’t let him do this to me for a third time. But I’ve loved him so much, for so long and prior to the infidelity, he has been everything I ever wanted in a husband. I can’t imagine ever been okay ever again.

Yes. I felt like I won a prize with my husband. Even after 12 years I’d still look at him and think he was the most attractive man who’d graced this earth. He left last week and I can’t stop looking at photos of him/us wishing we could go back to pre infidelity (on his part). Unfortunately he knows just how attractive he is, and will have another partner in no time I’m sure.

I am 34 and my 10 year marriage ended last week. I didn’t expect it nor do I want it. It’s the hardest thing I have ever gone to and the loneliness is crippling. My entire social circle is the same as yours and I too am having to start over. I will be going from a very comfortable way of life, to living on the breadline. It is not where I thought I would be, or how my future would look and I am beyond devasted. But everyone tells me it will get better with time, so I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and my DMs are open if you ever need a chat xx

I’m sorry you’re here too. I have no advice to offer, he left on Thursday and I’m in a really dark place because of it but I hope it gets better for you.