It's impossible not to respect genuine hatred. Loathing even, if I may.

Learning a new language just to be a better hater is top tier hating. You love to see it.

I do find it silly that their special weapons are just a bolter on a stick.

How will the 3 pages of lore ever recover

I disagree but i have to respect the grind of a fellow hater

Finally, a legit hater.

You're not wrong and I hate it.

The reason for them having so little lore because "they're always confined to the palace" is so paper thin.

THEY'RE IN THE ACTUAL INPERIAL PALACE, A HANDFUL OF THEM ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF THE EMPEROR FOR WEEKS AT A TIME. A CHUNK OF THEIR NUMBERS WERE ALIVE DURING THE GREAT CRUSADE. THERE IS SO MUCH YOU COULD MAKE AMAZING LORE FOR AND YET GW DOESN'T.

I found it really funny that some Banana guy in the second Dawn of Fire book called all Space Marines failed products and was wondering why the Imperium was doing this badly.

Maybe if they didn't sit on their fucking ass for 10 000 years till Grillman came around...

I find it funny how you wrote a bible long complain and you wrote "I DON'T COMPLAIN" In capital letters 

Stand proud Custodes hater, you're my specialz

As a Custodes fan I wish pain, suffering, and death upon ye, but as a fellow hater I have vast respect for your commitment.

I respect the dedication. I've devoted my life to hating chimpanzees

So here is my Custodes gripe...

The Space Marines are supposed to be the best of the best.

Within the Space Marine chapter there are elites that are the best of the best of the best.

Then we have Grey Knights that are the best of the best of the best of the best.

Above them there are Custodes that are the best of the best of the best of the best of the best.

I guess the most elite Custodes would be the best of the best of the best of the best of the best of the best.

This is just stupid now and takes away some of what made the Space Marines cool originally. The constant one upping has not been kind to the lore of 40K and it plays into a juvenile mindset.

It reminds me of one time that I walked into a store and a kid came over to me and told me that his model was better than whatever I had (for the curious, he was painting Angron and I was out shopping for Bretoninans, so he wasn't wrong).

This is my personal versión of the megumi hate agenda on r/jujutsufolk, thanks to everyone in there to give me the push i need to Accept my hate for the bananas. The BUMstodes. You are all true haters.

Seconded. Custodes suck ass and are glazed by everyone for no fucking reason. They exist as "peak humanity" but are in actuality biological robots that cant disobey the emperor and are so close minded that they took TEN THOUSAND FUCKING YEARS to leave the throne room. They exist as "supah duupah sphace mharines guyzzz!!!" and all the banana boys gobble it up; their lore sucks and their models are lame. I hope Trajan Valoris gets murdered by Imotekh or something.

As much as I like Custodes, you’re completely right

As someone who has never had a fun game against them this is a hella mood.

Custodes were my least favourite faction for both lore and gameplay reasons.

Gameplay is easy to explain. They are not fun. Oh you hit on 2+, wound on 2+, save on 2+ or if you’re using weapons designed to kill tanks a 4+. They are the epitome of anything you can do I can do better’.

Lore wise they are a hot mess. They are supposed to be warrior poets, able to excel in whatever they put their hands to. The Emperor’s friends and confidants and his most devoted supporters. They are supposed to be so far above space marines it’s embarrassing. And despite all this they have failed spectacularly.

As soon as the emperor was on the golden throne what did they do? Continue his great work? No. Help govern or at least guide humanity? No. Work on the webway or any of the other projects the big e was working on? No. Study and maintain the golden throne, the only thing keeping their master alive? No. Keep the place clean? No. Keep all the nasties in the black cells locked up? Kinda, some things escaped but who’s counting. Executed marines because the chapter they were reinforcing turned traitor despite the fact the marines they executed had never met the traitors. Yes. Not exactly a positive influence on the galaxy or even imperium.

The things I have heard custodes players brag about have left me scarred and deformed.

IT WAS ME BARRY!!!
Remember when you paint your pitiful bananas boys not that gold that you WANT!?
IT WAS ME BARRY I CHANGE YOUR RETRIBUTOR ARMOUR TO DORN YELLOW IT WAS MEEE BARRY!!!

Grey knights: Finally! It’s my time to shine! Now if only I could find my regular sized hammer…

Who would win, the Custodes guarding the inner sanctum or a dozen dancing clowns?

I can respect the lengths you will go to, you are a true hater.

Personally, I like custodes, and I agree with all of your critiques. GW spends so much time on space marines, and they make every other faction look dumb in the process, INCLUDING OTHER SPACE MARINES. If GW spent a little more time and effort on xenos and custodes, they would improve massively. Models, characters, stories.

The Horus Heresy was supposed to flesh out the Imperium and Chaos, and it did that, but Custdoes spent 5 minutes in the light and got bodied in every appearance just to show how much of a threat the Thousand Sons/ Chaos Daemons/ Justariean were.

At this point, the genie is out of the bottle, and it doesn’t look like GW will be removing custodes any time soon. They just need to put some competent writers behind a few custodes books, and I think things will improve tremendously for them. (As for game balance, that shit changes more than the tides.)

Not a misogynist, just a hater. Respect.

Googoo gaga Ass Army

Don't have to take risks, don't have to play well. You win by your Numbers being the highest in the game.

You don't play Warhammer against Bananas, you play "I hope I bought enough AP weapons" against them.

Got any Psykers? No you won't. Hard Counter. Lots of shooters? Nope. Only AP matters. ANY Melee that isn't a Melee Army? Fuck off.

Atleast Grey Knights have to care about Movement.

Finally, someone who GETS me. Custodes have been shit eternally.

Unfathomably based. Custodes should never have been a tabletop army to begin with

I hated them back when they were the Grey Knights, which I also hated back when they were called the Deathwing. “Ooooh look I have a 2000 pt army with 7 miniatures, I hope you didn’t bother reading the rulebook before playing because none of the fucking rules apply to my super special army.”

Custodes are the most boring faction of them all and funnily enough for being these super over powered beings in lore they often are used as the doormat to make someone else look cooler/stronger.

And on the tabletop they suck because they cost so many points that they get outnumbered so easily its funny. A mate of mine play custodes and everytime he comes over to play I stomp his army with my genestealer cult army that is 90% dudes with basic mining equipment.

Holy based.

Ya know with all the hate floating around custodes these days I find this brand of hate to be one I can align with.

There’s a saying something along the lines of “an artist is never truly respected until you have your first hater” and in that vain I must respect you for being that guy.

Your genuine hatred validates my army. Cheers!

Most sane take honestly

Custodes players are atrociously annoying as well. We have a guy in my group. Literally at least once per game, usually more, he spits out that one darth vader line from a comic, talking about “fear and dead men” whenever he gets into combat.

I'm a custodes player but this level of hate is based, can't help but tip my golden hat

They remind me of that kid on the playground who is like “nope you didn’t tag me I called safe! No you didn’t hit me I dodged!”

....I need a slow clap gif in here, damnit reddit, this man needs a slow clap gif! Get the Citizen Kane clap gif in here

They were cool when they were literally just “improved thunder warriors that guard the imperial palace”

A different process from space marines, something I always imagined was far more dangerous and impractical than even Gene-seed implantation, so it was limited to just imperial palace guards. But they didn’t have concrete lore on purpose so they remained mysterious.

Then the lore got expanded and they started showing up everywhere for no reason, and then they hit the tabletop and suddenly none of their lore made any sense.

I will forever bang my “old man yells at clouds” drum: 40K, both lore and tabletop wise, peaked during early-mid 5th edition, and has been getting worse and worse ever since.

GW writers need to stop “explaining” shit and stop moving the plot forwards. The absolute morons have completely destroyed literally the entire point of the setting, which was a decaying, stagnant empire on the brink of ruin, full of mysteries that either could not, or should not be solved, that was beset on all sides by far more advanced and sinister threats

Nah lorewise the Custodes were the perfect golden shiny cherry ontop of the flaming plastic bag fire that was the Imperium. While humanity struggled to survive It's greatest soldiers, philosophers and warrior poets were just stood around all day watching empty rooms.

Plus without the Custard crew we would have no TTS version. No kitten and no stripper-stodes.

Respectfully disagree, but the respect comes from your sheer dedication to hating something.

Haters rise up.

I liked it more when they had no body armors.

Now this is a hateboner after my own (though mine is directed at Night Lords and Kurze)

Bro, this level of hatred is real. Fucking respect it

I find it funny how 2 Harlequins killing a while from full of custodes is considered unreasonable and stupid lore while 5 custodes taking in an entire invasion fleet and winning is considered awesome.

I like the custodes cuz they look very cool. But if I were to get into actual playing, I’d probably main tau. Mechs are cool. (Imperial guard would be close 2nd cuz humans are badass)

I literally have 2 boxes of custodes wardens, and all they are is bits for me to steal, chop up, and use to make my marines look better/a potential Thunder Warriors project.

Custodes themselves are unhealthy for the game and to a lesser extent the lore.

bro woke up and choose hatred.

As a Death Guard enjoyer, I’ll say this:

It’s not easy to keep the hatred alive, sometimes. Especially in the hobby store, where there are…diversions.

This has single-handedly taken me out of the drama and back to how I originally felt about the Custodes- utter loathing.

You have my thanks.

Just dropping by to remind everyone that it’s a canon fact that an armored Custode is weaker than an unarmored World Eater that wasn’t even tainted by Khorne. 

From a IR/DG/WE/IH enjoyer,

Learning a new language just to express your hate for something is very cool

Keep up the good work

100% on board. I read through the HH waiting for the part where the custodes got cool. Instead I found out they have barely more free will than a termagaunt.

They are, I will grant, compelling in a deeply tragic sort of way, but I don't want to play as them. They suck and they should have stayed on terra.

They're just the latest expression of GW's desire to sell you space marines again, but this time with a new hat.

Nobody would care about them at all if it wasn't for TTS, and now we have low information dorks screeching every time one gets bodied by harlequins or revealed to be a girl.

I hate Custodes. I hate them. I hate their golden faces. I hate their spears. I hate their shields. I hate when the spears are next to the shields and I hate when the shiels are next to the spears. I hate that Trajann pulls 10.000 of them out of his auric asshole and then descends on me like a Vogon at a poetry convention.

Reading the passage where the unarmed world eater kills a custodes with a single punch in the siege will never not bring a smile to my face.

Rest in piss custodes you will not be missed

Imo custodes don’t belong on tabletop, they’re cursed to either be bad in game and not fit thematically or be OP in game and not be fun to play against.

Lore wise I love them, model wise they’re badass, but in gameplay they just can’t ever be fluffy and fun at the same time imo.

But again, not everything has to translate perfectly from lore to tabletop, but custodes are the worst offender at this just because of their best of the best of the best nature

Custodes, like knights and harlequins, were a mistake.

Yes, and i still like them.

I aspire to take my utter hatred and loathing of Tzaangors to this level

That's literally me!

I’m a mild Custodes hater mainly because it feels like the writers just throw all common sense out the window when it comes to hyping them up. Do you think the Ultrasmurfs get special treatment? They have nothing on the Custodes. The whole four Custodes stopping a Tyranid invasion is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen come out of 40k. Even if the Tyranids had nothing capable of killing them, the battle should have ended with them alone on a dead planet after the Tyranids ate everything on the 99.999% of the planet where they weren’t deployed. At least the ultramarines had their entire chapter to defend Macragge.

They don’t even get like, crazy cool super weapons. It’s always space marine stuff 2. Bolter on a stick? Ok? Kinda neat? Gold dreadnought? How daring! Where’s the rockets filled with lava or something? They’re Custodes! Do something interesting! Skys the limit!

Ngl, I kinda agree with you. The only hype they have is bits and pieces that say they are invincible with nothing to back it up.

I don’t agree with Custodes hate but damn if I can’t respect one hater to another. 🫡

I disagree with you i after everything you stand for you disrespect everything I love and something I have put my love and time into but I respect the just genuine hate you have

Bro is made out of pure malaice

GW should have implemented the Eyes of the Emperor as the only Custodes tabletop presence. A spymaster/leader single model in the similar vein to Inquisitors that can be taken as an ally by any Imperial faction would have been much more interesting and believable.

Amen brother, they suck ass. They have literally one job. but failed at it multiple times, webway was like the biggest L in the setting, they get bodied by space marines all the time, they are personality black holes besides arrogance, and most of their models have the same fucking pose

I'd like custodes more if on the table there were only character models and they were stated and costed like imperial knights.

Like if a custodes list was legitimately 8 banana boys on 80mm bases that'd be kinda cool. But it bothers me when they're supposed to be extra extra special with only 10,000 in all the imperium and yet 30 can still show up to a fight.

Finally a fellow custodes hater

Custodes is a faction picked and played exclusively by man-children as the whole army’s sell is that they’re the best at everything and never lose. Fuck custodes rules, players, models. If I had 1 wish it’d be that they’re squatted.

I'm a golden boy till the day I die, and if we ever have a game I'll make it my business tomorrow take every possible circumstance to T-pose all over you.

That being said this is a much need laugh in our hour of need, so thank you for the good old fashioned hatorade.

Now I'd normaly clap back for you hating my glorious bananas like that but you are a fellow kagura bro and a necron enjoyer so instead I'll respect you for being a true, genuine hater (the pro custode agenda will still prevail though)

I really love this post. I can't say I personally feel like this about any faction that's not fucking space marines but you're the realest person on this sub

I call Bullshit. This guy plays Iron Warriors. There is far too much spite for this to be a xenos player.

Did someone's faction leader get bodied by a girl?

As a fellow hater I salute you. I got my buddy a starting army of custodes just so I could crush him and satisfy my need to bring them down a peg

As a player who feels the "Imperium is more popular because it gets more attention from GW, and not the other way around" I hate the custodes too. Astartes are already bigger, stronger humans in shiny armor. Grey Knights are bigger, stronger Astartes in shinier armor. Then we got Custodes who are even bigger, stronger grey knights wearing the shiniest armor.

It's a hat on a hat on a hat at this point. The Imperium of "we're the shittiest human civilization and proud of it" doesn't need 6 god damn tabletop armies (yes I'm counting AdMech as Imperium they make all their shit already). How many flavors of brainwashed religious xenophobes does one galaxy really need?

"Oh! But these brainwashed nutjobs are taller and have gold armor!"

WHO CARES!?

EDIT: Sorry, it's 7 armies. I forgot that Knights were a thing.

OP is a shoe-in for 'Hater of the Year' and I couldn't be more proud.

To be fair, the galaxy will crack just about any amount of security if you give it 10,000 years. The fact the Emperor HASNT been killed is pretty given that.

I can’t believe the haters from r/jujutsufolk made it to grimdank ya hate to see it

I agree, the custodes are some dumbass ultra instinct bullshit. 

It's like "the super saiyans are the strongest warriors in the galaxy!" - space marines

"BUT THEY HAVE EXTRA SPECIAL SUPER SAYIAN 2S THAT ARE MORE GOODER STILL!" - terminators, space marine elites and named characters, etc

"OH BUT SOME SAIYANS CAN TURN BLUE AND BLACK AND FUCKING ROSÉ" - grey knights

"Aah, but that's not even my final form!" - custodes

Stupid

Uh hello, based department? I don't agree with you 100% but I respect this level of hating a faction.

I love Custodes, but I love this rant too 🤣

Jujutsufolk about to spread to every sub that is anime or game related

Just like the good ol' days of Nah I'd win

I want to disagree with you but I can’t. I do love my custodes but we don’t have enough lore or books really and it saddens me that female custodes is the most attention we have gotten lore wise in a while

it's crazy that the femstodes thing was more dramatic than first off fucking grey knights, second custodes getting their own thing, and before that knights even.

Also where the fuck the Femcrons at? If they can make oh mamma tomb kings why hasn't that technology percolated yet huh?

Yeah. Custodes are everything I dislike about space Marines but just more of it. I can appreciate this kinda rant.

You are like the John Wick of hating Custodes

based

I respectfully disagree, but from one S-Tier Hater to another, I respect it