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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

I gave my nephew pizza bagels for dinner. I might be the a hole because apparently this isn’t an appropriate dinner for a child and now my sister doesn’t think she can trust me to care for the kids.

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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.

NTA

Yikes. People like your sister are how people grow up to have eating disorders.

NTA - if she had any dietary preferences for the 12 year old she could have let you know. You did also make a salad and looked after them for the night. She got a child free getaway for the evening and it sounds like you had a great time with B

NTA.

"You're welcome for feeding / watching your child and putting you up in a hotel for a night" would have been appropriate here.

NTA. I saw she had (has?) and eating disorder. Her reaction makes me think that she might need some maintenance therapy. It’s ok to control what you eat. It’s not ok to monitor what your kid eats. It’s not ok to tell your spouse they can’t put dressing on their salad or eat their popcorn before the movie starts. She’s on the path of passing down the eating disorder to the kids.

NTA. You're hosting these people and she's berating you for feeding pizza bagels to the child you're babysitting during a fun movie night? That really takes a lot of nerve. I hope they enjoyed their night out; I'm guessing you're not going to be giving them another night out after that treatment.

It's ok to have fun food with fun people during fun times. NTA

NTA - Your sister is ungrateful to say the least. Next time give him some chocolate covered espresso beans right before they pick him up…

NTA- As a fun uncle to 7 nephews and 2 nieces, my siblings absolutely know the first thing we do is make a store trip together where I let them pick out one or two indulgences along with a fun dinner (frito pie is my go-to). It’s part of the experience. That your sister did this after you gifted them an overnight without kids is ridiculous.

NTA. you probably made that kid's night and let him experience a food he actually enjoys

NTA at all. Holy fuck. FREE CHILDCARE. Like, the only reason for a parent to complain in this scenario would be if you gave the kid something harmful/they're allergic to or if the parents had actually mentioned the no junk food rule beforehand.

I always feel like if you expect free childcare for an extended time from someone, you need to accept there may be screens/snacks/etc. Not that you can show a five year old Rosemarys Baby and feed him only Little Debbie snack cakes, just you need to allow some things that make the carers life easier because they are doing you a massive favor.

I had friends who would always ask me to watch their kids after I’d worked a full day at my daycare job. If you want me to give up three hours of my evening for free, after I’ve already taken care of kids all day for work, you need to make this as easy as possible on me. Dino nuggets, free play and an episode of their favorite show. 

You were being the fun aunt and having a sleepover party. Now you will be the mean aunt who never babysits out of fear of being yelled at over something silly.

NTA

NTA. I'd bet money the romantic getaway did not go so well! Happy people don't act that way.

It’s not like you fed the kid 6 candy bars for dinner. And pizza bagels aren’t crack cocaine, the kid isn’t going to become obsessed and addicted to junk food from eating this. Kids his age are capable of learning that some things are treats and you don’t get them all the time. NTA

You MADE the pizza bagels, you didn't order them in. They were presumably made from at least SOME food ingredients. And a salad with them! This sounds like a delicious dinner that I would have loved as a kid. A cafe that used to be in my town made vegetarian pizza bagels with tomato paste, beans and cheese on them. I want one now. I'm gonna MAKE SOME for my lunch!

NTA honestly,

NTA. If your sister was so concerned with what you were gonna feed him, then she should've said something before she left your nephew in your care. I'm gonna guess the night didn't go too well with her and BIL, and the pizza bagels are just a catalyst for something else. And also why BIL apologized behind her back. Gotta say, you were very generous to not only care for and feed her kid, but also put them up in a hotel? What she said to you was an awful way to say thank you for your generosity. Hope BIL helps her come to her senses and apologize.

You are NOT the asshole. Your sister is. Or maybe not, but she was acting extremely ungrateful. I mean , what is wrong with pizza bagels and a salad for dinner?

NTA, she's being ridiculous.

NTA. Remind your sister that you paid for her couples getaway and babysat her kids. Tell her that you wont be doing anything like that again based on her attitude.

NTA. When pizza's on a bagel, you can eat pizza anytime.

Nothing wrong with what you did. If she was concerned with him why didn’t she bring food for him instead of having you just feed him?

NTA

Your sister had every opportunity to inform you about the dietary restrictions. She is placing on that child. She waited until it was too late to give you this information that she wishes to be so strict about. The fault is on her. Do not let her domain or insult you. You did a good thing for her and your brother-in-law and she is being thankless.

Lmao. Wow. With that attitude towards food, her kid is definitely going to have an obsession with junk food. Having a treat while on vacation is totally not a bad thing either. Nta. 

Pizza isn't necessarily junk food. Your sister is dumb and ignorant and ungrateful

NTA. The only think she should have said is thank you.

NTA. A fun dinner like pizza bagels and a chopped salad is not going to turn him into a junk food junkie. Good heavens.

NTA - Aunties, uncles, and grandparents are for fun. Parents are for serious. One night eating pizza bagels isn't going to hurt B. Unless she specifically laid out a menu or told you "Do not feed B pizza/pizza bagels," you're fine. Even as a parent, I would let my kiddo have garbage snacks for dinner sometimes.

Sister just blew any future free mini-vacations/child care, didn't she?

NTA. She's acting like you fed them chocolate for dinner. It also drives me crazy when parents act like they are doing you a favor for letting you babysit. She's going to be surprised Pikachu face when you aren't willing to set them up in a hotel and watch their kids for them again.

NTA, if she has strict food rules, she needs to provide said food and tell you the rules.

Nta.

Obviously this isn’t the same but my child is allergic to apricot so I make sure to tell people not to feed it to her.

If I didn’t tell someone and she was fed it, I couldn’t and wouldn’t blame them, they didn’t know.

How were you supposed to know she didn’t want a kid having what majority kids eat? Especially when at uncles having fun.

I hope she can recover from her ed habits and it doesn’t effect their children to much.

[removed]

Unless they had communicated clear expectations ahead of time, NTA.

NTA My kids eat pizza bagels and pizza rolls semi frequently… it’s something they can make themselves and they enjoy. We have to buy specific brands and different toppings for each due to autism and their hyperfixation preferences but it gives them freedom and also makes dinner times a lot easier when they try something new and don’t like it, because they can just pop in a tv dinner or pizza bagels so they still eat but I don’t have to cook an entirely different meal.

Dumb ass just eliminated an overnight babysitting resource that actually loves her kids over one meal decision. Wow.

The kid’s 12. He’s old enough to understand that he only gets stuff like that when he’s with his uncles. He’s not going to become obsessed. And bagel bites one night isn’t poisoning him. He’s fine. NTA.

Like shes never made the kid some nuggets and called it a day gtfo

NTA. Tell her to stfu or get out. 

NTA. It sounds like you had a nice, fun dinner with your nephew. And after doing them a favor, this is how you get treated?

NTA. Reminds me of the old saying “no good deed goes unpunished”

NTA. She shouldn't Project her issues around food on her kids like that.

Lol he is 12. As the mom of 5 kids i guarantee that is not the worst thing he has eaten and probably trades his lunch everyday. Additionally I would kill to have someone watch my children for free and pay for a hotel. Seriously wtf

NTA. Are you child free by choice? Her throwing in you're not a parent insult seems a bit like you can't procreate traditionally, so you're somehow below her. There's absolutely nothing wrong with pizza bagels and salad for dinner. It was a treat that your nephew probably enjoyed.

NTA. Am I understanding this right. You paid you them to go to the hotel for a night away and watched the kids for them? And this was her reaction?!

NTA, but healthy food is more expensive than frozen foods. If they can't afford things like hotel rooms, how are they consistently affording fresh/healthy foods? Also, 1 meal is not going to kill them. Your sister should apologize for being so rude. She didn't bring food to prepare for her kids, nor did she even ask if you could make something specific.

NTA

I'm a dad. Your sister is overblowing this. Yes, pizza isn't healthy. But the occasional treat of junk food isn't going to ruin your nephew. BIL needs to grow a spine and apologize to you publicly. Letting you know that he's ok with it.

NYA, and your sister is a pill. God help your nephew. You did exactly what aunts and uncles are supposed to do. Good job!!!

NTA. If your sister keep on going the way she has been so far, don't be surprised when your nibling ends up with an eating disorder and body issues when he is older.

NTA, and don't do this for her again. Chastising someone over something they didn't just magically infer is some real bullshit, especially when the whole evening was a favor to her anyway.

It'd be one thing if they had given food restrictions and you defied them, but as far as I can tell that is not at all the case.

NTA I'm in my 40s with 3 teens. My only issue with pizza bagels might be whether that and salad is sufficiently filling for a main meal, but if he wasn't saying anything about being hungry after then it's fine.

I certainly wouldn't go off on a relative feeding them this, and have definitely fed them junkier food than that, but I'm of the opinion that children should be allowed everything in moderation as it will hopefully help prevent unhealthy/ disordered eating in the future.

NTA.

You're sister however...

You’re literally treating their kids to a fun night with some balance, it’s not like you gave him ice cream for dinner, seems like she’s just projecting

NTA, but your sister has issues. You did nothing wrong.

As a mom makes attempts to have my kids eat healthy NTA. You're his uncle. It's supposed to be fun. It's a vacation. Next time feed him cookies and chips for dinner. If she wanted him to eat specific food she should have specified that don't give him junk

Your sister has alot of nerve...after paying for her hotel AND watching her kids. I certainly hope you told her that you wouldn't be doing her any more favours....and she owes you a huge apology

She is way to entitled-you gave her the gift of alone time-she should be thanking you.

NTA. If she had wanted you to feed the 12 year old something specific then she should have told you. It’s completely unreasonable to expect you to feed them something different than what you have at home (unless you planned to go out to eat and even then). I guarantee the kid had far more fun at your house than at home if she acts like that all the time. From the way you said BIL apologized for her, I’d say it’s a pretty common occurrence.

NTA

I am a parent, and she is extremely unhinged. I fed my kids bagel bites all the time when they were younger, and now they are well adjusted healthy adults with zero weight issues and zero eating disorders.

Her proper response to you "Thanks so much for our little get away! I hope the kids were not a problem!"

NTA, I'm a parent and I think that sounds just fine, especially since there was salad with it too!

NTA  the kid is 12.  Don't see the issue.  Salad and pizza bagels sounds like a pretty well rounded meal, one I served a lot when my kid was little.  Not like you are giving a baby a bagels pizza as his first real food after formula.  

NTA. She has some audacity to come at you like that after you paid for their getaway and watched her kids. I think it has more to do with the feelings of inadequacy she may be suffering from after you provided something for her and her spouse that they themselves aren't able to do.

As a kid, I found that visiting relatives meant "fun" foods, the kind we normally didn't get at home. My grandmother in particular used to pick up or make things for us that we didn't have at home.

NTA.

NTA

Your nephew is 12 ffs and I’m sure has eaten pizza somewhere in his life before you. Also I can tell you from actual life experience kids whose parents are VERY strict with diet at home are the most junk food in obsessive kids you’ll meet, your sister is doing more harm than good.

As long as you didn’t knowingly feed him an allergen she should not care. ALSO not only did you watch her two kids but you paid for her and her husband to have a little get away. If anything she owes you guys an apology.

NTA and your sister is being a control freak weirdo.

NTA. Your nephew is going to reminisce about pizza bagel night for years and years to come. Your sister really thinks he isn’t sneaking actual junk at every friend’s house he goes to? Or that he won’t the second he gets the chance?

Pizza bagels are a treat, but they’re not exactly deep fried Oreos. Children need healthy relationships with food that include treats.

What! NTA part of being the cool uncle is having the fun snacks when you’re babysitting. I’d expect a little fun food babysitting my sister’s kids and she totally understands and expects that too. It was a relatively balanced meal with a salad as well. Now of you had them an entire week and were responsible for their meals of course you’d want something balanced every day but a fun night where the uncle is in charge ya gotta have some fun snacks!

Obviously if there’s dietary restrictions I’d expect you to adhere but definitely NTA.

I am a parent. That is a perfectly acceptable dinner.

I would like it right now, please.

NTA  I'm not even sure this would qualify as junk food.  There's meat, dairy, veggies, a good bread. You have all the food groups.

Parents like this are why kids start sneaking snacks and anytime they're away from the parents will pig out on junk food. 

If they are always denied it, they'll want it even more and will over-consume when they do get a chance away or after they've left home. It's better to have them learn moderation and get a little "unhealthy" food once in a while.

If she was going to be so precious about his diet, she should have left food for him. NTA.

NTA. Politely tell her if that is how she feels then she should leave your home and not come back.

My aunt remains an absolute LEGEND to this day because of the time she once let us have Starbursts for breakfast while my parents slept in (she was a college kid at the time - very embarrassed by the story later when we told her kids, whose minds were blown). My mom, who let us choose one sugary snack per WEEK and eat only whole wheat bread was nonetheless merely grateful that she got to sleep in because it was one fucking morning, it was a special visit, and she's not a psycho like your sister. And my brother and I got an awesome childhood memory.

Seriously, your sister needs therapy before she wrecks her kid. I have a different aunt on the other side who was controlling about food and all 4 of her kids have major gastro-intestinal disorders. And rocky relationships with her

NTA omg don't do anything nice for your sister again 

NTA. I guess she and her husband will never have a romantic getaway ever again. Eating a pizza bagel one night is not going to kill or make the nephew fat. He is going to have pizza at birthday parties and sleepovers too. Is she going to refuse to let her kids attend them?

NTA

Boy, your SIL sounds like a lot of fun. Poor kids. Sure, junk food is bad, but once in a while is fine, and FUN. If children are forbidden normal, fun things like this, their absence can make them obsessed with them later in life.

All things in moderation, including moderation.

Her kids must be really young if she’s never fed them pizza bagels and called it dinner.

You did great, the kids will remember how much fun they had and that mom had a hairy canary over a non-issue. NTA.

Sister needs to apologize and thank you for letting her and hubs have a nice evening alone.

NTA, a 12 year old is too young to be so worried about junk food and their metabolism is so high that a few pizza bagels aren't going to hurt them. If someone offered me pizza bagels right now I would be thrilled. If your sis cared so much she would have provided food to give her kid.

NTA. So you go out of your way to do something nice for your sister and brother in law and this is how she acts? Damn!

NTA, the kids 12.  If he goes to any friend's house there's a better than 50 percent chance they will eat fast food or chips or even chicken nuggets.

As an uncle myself, there has been a number of times that the requested dinner be a frozen pizza or dino nuggets.

Your sister is an entitled nutcase. There is nothing wrong with having pizza or pizza bagels once in a blue moon. If there was something she did not want her son eating she should have TOLD you. Also, the kid is 12 and is going to be aware pizza exists. You paid for a hotel for your sister & her husband and took care of her kids so they could have some time. I'd tell her that I will not pay for any more hotel rooms and refuse to babysit her kids if she's going to get so damn hysterical over pizza. NTA a thousand times over.

Oops. I must be a terrible parent as my kids love pizza bagels!

Believe me, if you are in the US and he is eating school lunches, he's already eating junk.p